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Going Tomorrow With Tension Over The Head…. August 31, 2009

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I am leaving tomorrow. There are 2 programs ahead which I need to take care of and after that, there are 2 other programs. As I mentioned in the last post, there are couple of stupid tensions over my head and I really am not sure that how would I perform in these programs of mine with those tensions? Let’s see what happens. Hope all would go well. Pray for me guys that all would go fine and even the tensions would go away!

Random Ramblings…. August 31, 2009

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I didn’t write since I came back. I won’t put here the reason that all I guess do, “I was busy”. No, its not the correct reason in my case. I wasn’t busy in anything. All I did was just nothing  and still I didn’t write anything. Well, I did  write a small post on my oracle blog but that too wasn’t really exciting for me. I didn’t write because of this loneliness that I am feeling, which is not letting me do anything. I wanted to get some clothes for me, I left the idea. Now, there is a stupid tension that’s there on my head and is killing me(no, its not about clothes). I am not sure why but I just don’t feel like doing anything at the moment. One may think, if not doing anything than he must be sleeping.  Sadly, that’s also not happening. I haven’t slept in last couple of years for more than “few” hours(don’t ask few=how many) and yesterday, when I did sleep for some time, a nightmare woke me up after which I couldn’t sleep at all. And to this the tension thing that I just mentioned which means I won’t be getting any sleep, at least a calm and relaxing one for sure. I want to have some time out for me and do some things just for myself, get some stuff and couple of things like this but I am not sure when it will happen? A not so good situation and condition I must say!

Back Home…. August 27, 2009

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I got back home today morning. I am not sure but this time, I really was a bit desperate to come back home. Not sure why though? Anyways, so I am back home and the session is over. About the program, well, I can just say at the moment that its finished, how it went really, I am not sure? I am waiting for the official score to come which would take some time. As like in all of my programs, I try always my best to deliver and there was no difference this time as well. But still, there are times when the delegates are from a different stream and the content talks about an entirely different area of expertise and this, never is a good combination. The same happened this time as well. Though the guys , in the end , were smiling and did ask for my contact information, which is always a good sign if you ask me, but I am still eager to hear what they said about the program and surely about me as well. Let’s see what comes up, hope it would be okay 🙂 .
I am just so much tired. Though I am learning how to take a nap in the flights( believe me, it took me 4 years to learn it and I am still in the first phase of learning only) , I couldn’t sleep at all, not sure why. And there is no point of getting a sleep in the bus. So I am really sleepy at the moment. There are some tasks which I have to finish before I leave for the next program( which is coming very soon) so I need to get my self sorted out. So its time to catch a nap now, see you all after a sleep, if I would be lucky enough to get it 😉 .

Time To Be On The Road Has Come(Again)…. August 22, 2009

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I am leaving tomorrow morning. Its going to be a tough program even though when I have done it numerous times already. There is a lot of hue and cry that is there for Swine Flu here at my place and its actually becoming more and more scary with the passage of time. I just got a little better and now I shall be again at a place which is being caught up by this flu very rapidly. I just hope that everything remains fine, both with me and with the program. Pray for me guys and wish me luck, as like always, I need it so much!

Cries Of A Broken Heart Written With Truly Awesome Precision…. August 22, 2009

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At times, some lines, some poetries depict truly what you are feeling. It doesn’t happen very often though! I happened to be in a very bad and upsetting mood today and what I see in my mail, a friend forwarded a poem which  just left me standstill. If you have ever been hurt by your loved ones, ever it happened that love has hurt you, leaving you just a body without soul who appears to be alive but actually its dead, you would love it! Unfortunately, I don’t know who is the writer of this poetry so I would urge if anyone knows, do let me know via comments and I shall put his/her name here because credit must go where its due! The actual poetry is a mix of Hindi and Urdu(which is not so good of mine). I shall put the English translation as well. First, in Hindi,
Ye kaun doob gaya aur ubhaar gaya mujh mein,
Yun kaun saaye ki suraat guzar gaya mujh mein!
Ye kis ke sog main shorida-haal phirta hun,
Wo kuan shakhs tha aisa k mar gaya mujh mein!
Ajab hawa-e-baharaa ne chara-saazi ki,
Wo zakhm jis ko na bharana tha bhar gaya mujh mein!
Wo aadmi ke jo pathhar sa jee raha hai abhi,
Jo aaina tha wo bikhar gaya mujh mein!
Misaal kya k wo jab bhi kareeb say guzara,
Yun laga k koi raqs kar gaya mujh main!
Wo saath tha to ajab dhuup chaaon rehti thi,
Bas ab to ek hi mausam thehar gaya mujh mein!
And here is the translation of it in English,
This is who who has sinked inside and reflecting in me?
Who is this who has touched me like a shadow!
In whose mourns I am lost and wandering desperate for love,
Who was that person inside me who is just dead now!
That person who appears to be alive  is like a stone now,
That mirror is broken now which used to be inside of mine!
What to say, when she walked beside me,
It felt that inside of mine started dancing!
When she was with me, this sunshine and shadow appeared like a magic,
Now just one weather only is there inside of mine!
I really have very strong feeling that I have done a terribly bad job in the translation. So if any corrections are there, please feel free to let them come. About the poem, I don’t think I am capable to say any single word. If you have not tasted the pains of love yet, you may find it nothing. But if you have tasted the tears of your own eyes given not by anyone else but your love, I am sure you would like it! For  me, these lines have said it all,
Wo aadmi ke jo pathhar sa jee raha hai abhi, Jo aaina tha wo bikhar gaya mujh mein!
Hope you would like just as much as I did!

In A Real Bad Mood…. August 22, 2009

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Yes, I am just totally pist off from some people and from their acts. I really am not sure why some people do completely insane things , act completely irresponsible and yet claim to be right. And some do completely wrong things which are bound to hurt others, they know their acts are hurting others, yet they just do whatever the heck they want and still claim that they are right giving their illogical logics. Not sure why and how one can do it? And worst is after doing everything just plain and clearly wrong, they think a simple sorry would be enough. Give me a break! Sorry is for those things when you unknowingly did some thing wrong, not when you did it within your complete senses. I really have no idea about how one can do all this and still claim him/her to be correct but yes, seeing it happening just make me really upset and I am very much upset at the moment!

My Shopping List…. August 21, 2009

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Its been years I guess now since I have gone and done some real shopping for myself. I can count on fingers what I have bought since last 7 years. What’s the reason? Well, there are couple of them and I certainly won’t put them here. That doesn’t mean that I have not been to shopping stores at all. I actually went many times but it was just not for me and for others. I still have my membership cards lying in my cupboard of those malls from where I used to buy so many gift items. And I still go do lots of shopping for my sis and few close ones. Still, I do have some things in my shopping list which I want to get. Not sure when I shall be doing it actually though but there is no harm in having a list isn’t it 🙂 !
The very first thing is a bike. Are you saying, what, this guy has no bike! Well, yes I don’t have one , I didn’t buy one actually. One of my friends from Hyderabad just bought a new one and he (purposely) sent me his snap riding over it and needless to say, I was on fire looking him over that bike LOL. Well I am happy for him to be honest and I want one for me too. Let’s see when but yes that’s among the top priority things. Which one? Well, let it be a secret for the moment!Make it certain that its surely not going to be just any bike as Aman never does anything which is “ordinary”. Okay okay that’s probably a rather very big statement but I am sure you got the idea!
The second thing which I really want is to own a Macbook Pro. I always wanted to get one but when I bought the first laptop of mine, Apple didn’t have a store in my city. I had to sell that though because I had to go somewhere and needed cash. I again bought another one but even at that time, Apple was there in my city. Well, it couldn’t be long that they could survive without coming to the most happening city of India so finally, they are here now! And when I visited them last time they had the Mac books there. Almost all I know are on Mac. Apple is known for making things really classy and that’s what I always look for as well, precision in anything that I do.
Now the next item is going to come as a complete turn around from what I have just mentioned. I am really getting interested about Microsoft’s new operating system, Window 7. With a complete and utter failure with Vista(code name Waste 🙂 ) , they are really counting on it a lot and its looks promising as well. With lots of things being inspired from Apple and lots of junk being removed from Vista’s code, this should be a good offering. Not sure though as that’s what the same MS said when they released Vista, claiming it has that “wow” effect which actually is nothing but an “ouch” effect. Now this surely appears to be completely absurd that I am thinking to buy a copy of Windows 7 when I am planning to buy a notebook of Apple right  ? Well, that’s me, its all I can say 😉 !
The next thing is again from Apple,any guesses? Yes, Apple’s iPhone! But its some thing for which I am interested but not desperate. Me and Sidhu, whenever we chat, mention it almost always that how much good this device(mind it, I didn’t say phone) is! But its still NOT a complete phone, at least not at the moment. It still lacks in so many basic things that at least I use too much ( no I am not talking about camera) and it has so many things which have no use for most of the people, I mean why the heck I would want to see on what IQ level I am( I was told by iPhone that I am among the most highest level IQ people) or want to shake a virtual glass of beer, a drink which I even don’t drink! I mean come on, give me a break! But yes, as a device, for interface, for being a classy product, there is no and I really mean it, no match is there for iphone. But that’s just not a very solid reason for me to shelve a truck full of cash to get this device. The kind of rate on which apple is releasing updates/new models of this phone, I guess, it would still take another 2-3 years before it would be actually be able to get called as a phone. But still, its there in my list and I am going to get it for sure.
That’s all what I have gathered at the moment in my shopping list. Let’s see now when I am going to get my hands over them, hope soon!

My Very First White Paper…. August 20, 2009

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I had always been asked why don’t I write a white paper about Oracle? I am told that the I explain things in a simple manner and it would be good if I would write some thing simple which people can understand with less difficulty. Well, my reply always is for this question that I know nothing about Oracle so I can’t write. But from past some time, I was asked couple of times to write on certain topics which I discuss many times in my sessions and delegates don’t find them explained them very well either in the material or at other places as well. So I was asked to write about those topics. There are couple of them and I finally gathered some courage and tried to write a small white paper, my very first one! I yet have to see how it is received and for this reason, I have mentioned its version as 0.1. It would take couple of revisions before I make the number as 1.0. But I am really happy that I finally was able to write one. My statement still remains the same that I know nothing, it won’t change with this but yes, I must admit , the feeling is great!

Oh I forgot, here is the link for the paper. Do read it even if you think Oracle means mp3 converter :-).

And I Just Smiled…. August 19, 2009

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Did it happen with you some time that all you are doing is sitting in the worst mood that you can be into, with a totally upset mind, thanks to things that someone either did or said or both. You are so much upset and not liking anything. You are thinking/looking for some thing to cheer you up and all of  sudden you look at something which just brings a smile over your face, making you forget all the anger and cheering you up! Its not mandatory that you always have to see some thing to make you feel good, at times you just remember some thing that did happen which was either funny or was very good that makes you smile. And at times, its nothing but just few words that you had heard some time back which get you out of that mood. The same happened with me today when I was sitting completely turned off thinking about some things done and said by some people. To make things worse, some one wrote a nonsense line addressing to me over  OTN Forums just because I corrected him couple of times as he was wrong. I was so much upset and was just thinking what to do that can change my mood. And then all of a sudden, I remember some words that someone said about me few days back. Those words included even a line, “you are a great guy” , some thing which I really don’t think I am worth of  being said but indeed it was said for me. And I know, it was not just said to make me happy but the person who said these words actually believed that’s why he said it! Needless to say, it just brought an instant smile on my face. I won’t mention here who said it but yes, the only reason I did smile today were those words and it just felt great!

Being Poetic Once Again…. August 15, 2009

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Well, its just the title, I am not at all a poet. Yes , at times, just out of the blue moon, some thing gets written but that’s really is not poetic in my opinion. It just happened today again that I wrote the following two lines thinking about some one and some things. After hearing some kind words from my friend Sidhu, I thought to put it over here as well. I know surely well that its not really that great but still, if you do like it, I would love to hear that( and even if you won’t too, just being fair 🙂 )
Here comes first in Hindi,
Kuch haseen palon ki darkaar mein, kar to liya sauda-e-ishq,
Kise pata tha dard-e-dil tamam umar goya keemat bhi hai!
And here is its meaning in English,
Just in the wish of few good moments, I did fall in love,
Who could guess, it would give nothing but cries for the rest of the life!
As I said, I am not at all a poet, so excuse me if it didn’t make ant sense for you. Very few know the why/what of the above written and its true meaning though. Hope its not too bad 🙂 .