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Travel Time…. September 28, 2008

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Yup I am leaving today. Not sure how things would go this time as the both module and the client are tough. I am not having a good feeling inside. And on top of all this, blasts did happen yesterday only in New Delhi. Not sure what’s going to happen ? Let’s see.

A Black Day…. September 27, 2008

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Its a sad day today because another bomb blast happened in New Delhi today afternoon. There was a similar incident of serial bomb blasts two weeks ago. It just happened a day after since I got back to home and this time it did happen  a day before when I am going to leave for New Delhi. I am not sure what is the purpose of those who are doing all this and to be really frank, I don’t give a damn for whatever their logic may be for doing all this? Killing innocent people for just our own selfishness is just a mere act of cowardness and nothing else. Its really sad to see this happening in the capital of the nation as well. The city must be secure to its fullest but I guess the truth is far away from this. Not sure what’s more going to come? I know I can’t do a single thing for those who have lost their loved ones without having any faults at all. All I can do is pray to god and wish that their souls may rest in peace.

An Afternoon At Salon…. September 27, 2008

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I was planning to go for a hair cut. It was long time due. Well in my case, long time doesn’t mean months, its actually weeks due to my hair style 😉 .So it was almost quite a time and I wanted to go for it now since I am leaving for my travels(yes again) pretty soon. So yesterday I planned to go for it. I was also feeling very much dryness on my face from some days. Now I am not a very much caring kinda guy when it comes to my own self. So I generally don’t bother about what’s going on with me much. But this time, I was feeling an itchiness and I wanted to do something about it. So as usual. I asked my sister who is an expert in all this and she recommended me to go for quite a lot of packs and all that.  Well now, I am not THAT keen too. Okay I thought I about taking some face clean sort of stuff but that I was double minded to go for it or not? One, the time spent would be too much and second is cost. I am not really so much fond of tons of bucks over this sort of thing.
Well I thought to go for hair cut only finally :-). But my sister already called up the guy who does my hair cut and made sure that he is going to push me like anything. So when I got there yesterday afternoon, stage was almost set. I told him that I wont be going for any facials or anything like that. So he mentioned that he would just go for a face clean and nothing else and after that, hair cut will follow. So I spent around one hour with my eyes closed, feeling multiple sorts of creams/ lotions dancing over my face. When everything got over, the manager who is a good friend too  said, wow your face is glowing! And I tried to search for that glow myself for about 10 minutes standing in front of the mirror but in vain. So after that I followed my hair cut.
Now when all of this was over, there were couple of things in my mind. One which was on the top was that hats off to gals who spend hours and loads of cash on all this stuff which is going to go away in few hours only after doing it. My hairdresser asked me to put SPF over my face to protect the “glow”. And I was like , what the heck is this thing in the first place and who would actually remember doing all this? I travel in buses, autos too and what this SPF is going to do at that time and moreover , I skip meals at times when I am busy, how the heck I would remember putting all this over my face? Its amazing how gals spend all their time doing and caring about all this only. So would I go for it again? Well I don’t know. I guess it was two years before when I went for this face clean and since then my face is cleaned by my soap only. So looking at my track record, I can say , not any time soon :-).

Google’s Phone, Believe It Or Not…. September 24, 2008

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Google is everywhere over the web. They have been proved to be numero uno in search. They brought their own web browser, Chrome available also. And we thought what next? At least I thought , heck what can be next? So the answer is phone and a mobile phone. I heard that, no its not a gimmick. Its a truth. Google is working on( almost worked upon) its mobile phone product, Android which is under development and will be hitting the market some where around next year. According to this demo video , this looks promising in features and for developers , its going to be a BIG opportunity as Google has announced 10 million dollars cash prize for the best developed app. Well, I don’t know how its going to be actually as a product and its really tough to say what would be my opinion about as its still a under-construction project. But things are going to get hotter for Apple’s Iphone and HTC’s Touch Diamond. Good for us :-).

Shiv Kumar Batalvi, A Legend…. September 23, 2008

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There are so many writers in this world and there is just an ocean of literature. But despite the fact that all the writers are good and the entire literature of the world is nice, I still love Punjabi literature and its writers the most. You may call it whatever you want but this is what I really love and it has reasons. And out of all, the foremost reason is that no culture is as rich in its wealth as Punjabi culture and I have yet to read some thing which is as romantic or as painful or as joyful as Punjabi writer’s writing are. There is no disrespect to anyone else or any other language but this is what my choice is!
There are a lot of writers but few only have power to become immortals with their work. Only some chosen ones have a power to write fire with their words. Out of those few, Shiv Kumar Batalvi stands apart. It wont ever happen that anyone would be able to touch even the heights where he is with his writing. Its a pity that Shiv had to leave this world so early but in his very small life span, he has created that verdicts which are going to be remembered as long as a single soul even will be alive over this earth.
After a long time, I heard today 2 songs of Shiv today. There were two reasons of this. One, I didn’t hear them from so long and I really wanted to listen them because it doesn’t matter how many times one would listen them, they sound as fresh as ever all the time. Second reason was that my mood today was resembling those two songs today. Somehow I was having the same feelings inside me today which are mentioned in these songs. I thought to put them here. These songs are in Punjabi but I shall be putting their translation in English as well.
The first song is , Mae Ni Main Ik Shikra Yaar Banaya meaning that O my mother, I have made a hawk my beloved. It is said that Shiv used to love a gal and she left him and went to USA. There she did marry some one else. This thing broke Shiv completely. When he came to know that she has given birth to her first child, he wrote this legend. These are the feelings of a lover who is telling what he has done for his love but what he has got in the end. A marvellous song! Listen it here,

And here are the lyrics of it in Punjabi,
Mae in mae, main ik shikra yaar banaya,
Ohde sir te kalgi te ohdi pairin jhanjhar!
Oh chog chuginda aaya!
Ik ohde roop di dhupp tikheri,
Oh duja mehkan da tirhaya!
Teeja ohda rang gulabi,
Oh kise gori maan da jaya!
Ishqe da ik palang nuari,
Ve asin chananian vich daheya!
Tan di chadar ho gayi maili,
Os pair jad palanghe paya!
Dukh mere naina de koye,
Te vich had hanjhuan da aaya!
Saari raat gayi vich sochan,
Us ne ki julm kamaya!
Subah savere lai li vattna,
Ve asaan mal mal os nuvaya!
Dehi de vichon niklan chingan,
Ve saada hathh gaya kumlaya!
Choori kuttan te oh khanda nahin,
Ve asin dil da maas khuaya!
Ik udaari aisi maari,
Oh mud watni na aya oh mae in!
Main ik shikra yaar banaya…. 
And here is the meaning in English,
O my mother, I made a hawk my beloved,
A plume on his feet,
Bells on his feet!
He came pecking for grain!
His beauty was as sharp as sunlight,
And he was thirsty for fragnances!
Third, his color was like a red rose,
He must be son of a very fair mother!
A bed of love,
I laid for him under moonlight!
Sheet of this body was strained,
That very instant when he laid his feet over it!
Corner of my eyes hurt,
A flood of tears engulfed me!
All night long I tried to fathom,
How he could do this to me?
In early morning,
With beauty mix, I scrubbed and bathed his body!
There were flames coming out from the body,
My hand were burnt!
I crush food for him,
But he never ate!
So I fed him with flesh of my heart!
He took such a flight,
That he never returned back!
O my mother, I made a hawk my beloved….
I am sure you must have understood that here hawk is the gal who loved and left her beloved(Shiv himself). I really don’t think that I am worthy enough to add anything more to this. The pain , the feeling of seperation which Shiv has narrated here is saying it all. Anything added to it would be like showing torch to sun. So I am stopping here. Listen it and do let me know how did you find it?

A Painful, Very Painful Story…. September 23, 2008

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Love is the sweetest feeling in this world. Its one of those feelings which not everyone can enjoy. Those who could taste it, those are really lucky but there are some unlucky ones too who had not got the sweet taste out of it. They got a pain which would kill them slowly day by day for the rest of their life. And belive me , that pain is not bearable. Its better to die once and for all rather than dying every day , every moment. And the irony is even when we know that we are going to end up with lots of pain, we still can’t stop loving that some one special. Despite knowing that all we are going to get is just pain, a broken heart, its not possible to stop being in love. Don’t know why?
I got a forwarded email from my friend just now. It just shook me and I couldn’t stop my self from putting it here. Have a read of it. If you have ever loved and lost it, you would understand the pain hidden in it and the pain of the guy who ended his life by the end of the story. Have a read,
Ragging is fun. We always escaped from our seniors when we were in the first year of our graduation. Dancing infront of female seniors, hugging the trees and calculating the lengths of the buses with match sticks, yep, it was indeed great fun to get ragged. Personally I have gained many good friends too. 
Now that I am in the second year, I started to rag. Screwing guys and flirting girls is the meaning of ragging in my dictionary until one fine day I saw her. 
“Hey Shania… come here” I called one of the happening girl’s around. “I am getting bored… why don’t you accompany me to the canteen?” I asked her. The expressions on her face were changing. “I know that you have to catch a bus to your home town” I said. She looked at me pretending innocence and asked, “How did you know?” 
“I have been to my home town many times before when I was also a junior, even though Hyderabad is my home town.” I told her. Knowing that she’s caught, she stopped giving me lame excuses. 
Some prior knowledge about Shania and some lucky flukes, I pretended reading her face and ultimately I ended up holding her hands. Even as I rubbed her hand on the pretext of reading her palm, she listened to me with great interest. 
I am a scorpion and henceforth the animal magnetism that draws the opposite sex towards me. I know how to handle girls. I had a very good name in my college, both academically as well as in extracurricular activities. And she knew all this. How did she? I made sure that she knew bits and pieces about me before I made the first impression. And now, Voila, I hit the bull’s eye. 
One hour later, we were good friends. Shania fell for me. And I took the control. 
“I will drop you at your home, Shania” I told her. She was initially reluctant before I successfully coaxed her. A hand slowly fell on my shoulder and I slightly lost control of my bike. My bike jerked a lil’ and Shania dashed to my back. 
‘Grow up dear..’ I saw a guy standing infront of me and preaching. ‘Yes, sir’ I bade good bye to my conscience and I dropped her at her home. 
Days passed by and then weeks. I was getting closer and closer to her. Is she gonna be the girl in my life? Should I propose her? Thousands of thoughts ran through my mind. 
One fine day, she called up. “Sanju, I know I am losing myself to you. I know that you are reciprocating the same feelings to. I know you as a good friend. I know you as a great lover. Perhaps after my dad and mom, you are the one who’s most important in my life. I guess I can’t live without you. I…..” there was a pause for a minute. 
All the while she was speaking, I was holding my breath to hear those three words. ‘Come on say it Shania’ I thought in my mind. 
“I don’t know where this is gonna end. My parents are way too orthodox to agree for our marriage. Why don’t we end this here?” she continued. 
“But I still love you….” she said and there was a pause for a while. Tears trickled down my cheeks. Had she told me the last phrase alone, I would have been the happiest soul in this world. 
What’s the point in saying an I love you which is not gonna sustain. Whats the point in being in a relationship which is not gonna last? 
And I decided to breakup with her even before I could actually reciprocate her proposal. 
One year passed, and whenever our ways crossed, she gave those blank glances at me. And I just bent my head and avoided her. 
One day, it was late night when I was returning home when I saw a girl show her thumb hitching a ride. ‘Shania?’ and I stopped my bike. She stepped onto my bike and asked me to drive to this certain place where there was no one. 
I pulled the stand and my bike rested on it. She held me by my shirt and shouted out loud, “why are you avoiding me? Why are you looking at me as if I were an enemy? Please, I do love you, but I am frightened of my parents. I just can’t live without you” and she started crying as she held my shirt and hugged me. 
A woman’s heart is too deep to be understood. But that time I felt that I saw her true feelings towards me. I knew she loved me from the depths of her heart. I saw how much she cared me. 
“Don’t worry baby, I will take care of it. I will see that we get married,” I said even as I kissed her on her forehead. 
They say that a guy who often prays when in a relationship is damn serious about the relationship. I prayed too often. More than often, I prayed, each and every minute. I prayed to god that she and I should get married, that too with the blessings of our parents. Little did I know that I was asking for something which would never be granted. 
Two years, we were in love. I watched movies with her, I have dined with her and I have walked down the roads hand in hand with her. But more than the fact that I enjoyed her company, I was always frightened that this wouldn’t last long. I never knew when we would be separated. I never knew when this relationship would come to an end. 
The only thing that I could do was pray. And I never neglected my career too. After all, if our parents agree, we should be self sufficient at least. 
For a few weeks, I couldn’t contact her. One day she called me up on my mobile. She said, “I am sorry Sanju. I revealed our story to my parents. My mom was about to consume poison, when my dad and me stopped her. I love my mom so much. I don’t want to lose her. I love you too. But I am frightened that my mom may kill herself. I don’t want to build a memorial of love on the grave of my parents. Please do forget me Sanju. I am sorry” she said and cut the call. 
I always anticipated such an answer. It was shocking indeed for me. All these days, I have imagined her to be my wife. I have been to places of worship along with her. I …. 
And now she called me saying that she’s succumbing to her parent’s pressures? 
Parents are very selective about the marriage of their kids. A sense of social status is more important to them rather than the life of their kid. At least what right do they have over some one else’s child. Isn’t my life spoiled? I am not the kinda guy who just lets things go off his head and go on with life. 
She always said, “I love my parents and you” and I said “I love you more than my parents“. What could she have done if I were also to threaten her or blackmail her by saying that I would consume poison and commit suicide? She would have still stayed with her parents. It was my mistake to fall in love. 
And from the very next moment I started to drink and smoke. Few habits which I detested throughout my life. A few weeks later, I came to know that she married another guy. And the burden of losing someone whom you love is too much to be carried with your heart for the rest of your life…. 
I closed the diary. I understood the pain which my son must have undergone when he lost the lady whom he loved. I felt a stinging pain in my heart. I have never been I love. I loved only four people. My parents and my wife and the last but not the least, my son. But after reading his diary I was in his shoes for a while. I could understand his feelings. 
If he had told me about his love, I would have talked to the parents of the girl and persuaded them to get these young hearts married. But I came to know later from one of my son’s friends that he had done all that, he could. He spoke to the girl’s parents. He fell at their feet. He begged them. But of no avail. 
Her parents might have had the right to spoil her life. But what right did they have to spoil that of my son? Citing some caste and social problems, they rejected his love. 
“Sanju, my darling….” I closed my eyes and opened them wiping the tears from my eyes. 
And I saw the past unfold infront of my eyes. The day when the nurse told me that I had a baby boy, the day when he kicked on my chest with those cute little feet of his, the day when he learnt to walk on his own, the day when I admitted him to school when he held my shirt pleading me not to leave him, the day he brought home the prize he won in his KG level drawing competitions, the day when I kissed him when he showed me the progress report, the day when he won an essay writing competition, the day when he secured an engineering seat in a reputed college and finally….. 
Finally the day when he jumped from the top of the apartment unable to bear the pain and the suffering and committed suicide. 
This was given in the last of the story, some thing which I guess can be only understandable by those who have got this punishment.
The burden of losing someone whom you love is too much to be carried with your heart for the rest of your life.

Yup I Am Alive…. September 22, 2008

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Okay so its quite some time since I have come back to home but I have not written anything here. Lots of you must be thinking that I am dead. Well this post is only to mention that no its still not true and good days are yet to come because I am still alive ;-). Yes a little busy in some personal stuff that’s why not able to write much. But I guess, I shall be writing from today onwards, you can see its already started. I am working on couple of things and that’s including my own website too. So lets see what comes up? Do come back to have a read of random ramblings.

Back…. September 14, 2008

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Yes I got back yesterday. It was an easy program. I must say that the guys were really very good. All seemed to be very friendly and did participate in the program very well. In fact, I had lunch with couple of them and all sounded very nice to me. There was one guy Abhishek who was the lead in the group and I must say, I have not seen many who can be techies and can still crack jokes, a very nice guy!
To my amazement, in the last 2 programs, things which never happened before did happen. I never saw in any program, especially in a private event, people clapping after the program. But in my last program at Hyderabad, it did happen. And in this program, Abhishek took couple of group snaps and especially 2 of mine alone. I can just say that it was a great honor for me. I hope that program went well and guys were happy from it. All went smiling so I guess it wasn’t too bad ;-)!
That said, there is some thing sad that too did happen yesterday. I came back on Friday night and yesterday, there were serial blasts that did happen in Delhi. Almost 20 people are reported dead and more than 100 are reported as badly injured. I am not really why people do all this kind of stuff to others? I just hope and wish, all the injured get well as soon as possible and those unfortunates who lost their lives in this sad incident, their souls may get rest and peace. Its really now scaring me, I have been to all the places in the last few years and have come back just a day or two before when there was an incident like this happened. Always a narrow escape,don’t know how long I would be able to cheat like this. Let’s see!

Back, Extremely Tired But…. September 6, 2008

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I got back today morning. It was a very a tiring trip. I have not spent 3 weeks at one place ever but this time I did and rather traveling every week almost 150kms. Well travel is okay but the last week which I spent, that was both tiring and grueling. Guys were much more experienced than me and were way more senior than me. This was 4th program that I did for that company and I came to know that I was called on a “special request”. This gave me two different kind of feelings, one that was a real “proud” and “happy” sort of because of the honor that they gave me by putting my name as a special request, second was a chill sent down to my spine that I must keep myself up to their expectations. So it was not a very smooth sailing. But thanks to the guys, everything went well. There were many guys in the group whom I met almost 2 years back in the same premises and they recognized me instantly. I never experienced that people clapped after the program and that too in a private event but this time , it did happen. I guess it means things went well ;-).
So I am back and I am so much tired but I need to start my travel again as I got a program already scheduled. Its been now 7 weeks that I am traveling on the stretch. No complaints about my travel but there are some things on the personal front are not so good.  And that’s the only thing which is not making me feel comfortable about going out and travel. I just hope that everything remains fine. I need to finish some work before I can catch some sleep so will do it now. So catch you guys later!

Another Browser Kid In Da House, Google Chrome…. September 3, 2008

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So Internet Explorer, Opera, Firefox and Safari were not consuming enough space in the browser war game. So here comes Google with its own boy in the arena, Google Chrome. Now I have tried it out and yes it is “fast” and I shall say some sites that I use every day, they were very fast. I yet have to test it with my full browsing sessions which are of about 25 tabs open in which I am jumping back and forth all the time,for that I have to see how Chrome works. As per some of the messages in the Chrome Video, story behind Chrome, it becomes slow after 1 hour, I yet have to see it does or not. Well I guess it does or doesn’t but this would certainly give other browser giants a heart attack or may they already got it ;-).