Aman's Blog….ANYTHING goes here!

Silent Tears…. January 30, 2010

Tears are that asset of human beings which are around all the times. If one is happy, they come to increase that happiness. If one is sad, they still come to share that pain, let it flow down from the eyes from the heart. It doesn’t matter that what you are, how rich/poor you are, tears in all the eyes are of the same color and forever will be in this entire world. Tears, something which say hundreds of stories even without using a single word even! Tears, which can melt hearts made of stone as well. Tears, seeing which in the beloved’s eyes, one can kill and even can get killed! Tears, seeing them in that special person’s eyes appears that the whole world has no meaning, has no importance! Tears, some one who never leaves you, doesn’t matter what! But at times, even these most faithful friends choose to sit back and enjoy the pain of the beholder.

When tears come through the eyes, at least that pain stored in the heart flows down with them. Though it doesn’t help at all, pieces of a broken heart which always is a gift from someone who doesn’t value it but values the entire world out there, flows through these tears. It all happens when that drop of a tear flows down from the eye. But what if when the eyes appear to be dry yet hiding oceans of these tears in them? Ever felt how it feels when one is not able to breathe under water or when someone is chocking your throat? Ever saw someone smiling from his face but having eyes which look so lonely and are dry yet crying? Tears, even when not flowing out from those eyes, may still be there! At that times, the pain touches its peaks and one just feels that why is he being punished to be alive yet die with every breathe? At times, tears stop from coming out of these eyes knowing that this world would make fun of them. Even those who gifted these drops of pain, at times, may go a step ahead and would say this even that there is no time that they have for these useless tears since they have many better things to do like making a good, bright career! And in that important process, there is no place for a useless, worthless item called tears! Just don’t be fooled by this illusion that just because you can’t see someone’s eyes wet, there is nothing in them! You may never know, waves in the oceans of “silent tears” may be touching skies even!

I shall close by putting here two lines of Ahmed Faraz. They are in Hindi and I shall put this version first and will also translate in English. First, the Hindi version,

Yehi soch kar uski har baat ko sach maana tha Faraz,

K itne khoobsurat lab jhooth kaise bolenge!

And the translation in English is,

Just for this reason, assumed all what she said as truth “Faraz”,

How come such pretty lips can speak a lie?

Isn’t Faraz just great!

Sad Yet True…. January 28, 2010

At times, with very few words and lines, those things are said for which even books of thousands of pages may not be enough. Doing so is not an easy task to do and very distinct authors only are gifted to do so. Ahemd Faraz is one of those few who can recite an entire story in just two lines! I have already posted couple of poetries penned by him over my blog which you would find using the search option and I would strongly suggest that you must read as much poetry as you can of his!

Its always pain, sadness which can’t be confined in words. One doesn’t need much to show his happiness but for pain, sadness, even tears fail to express the intensity. One may want to tell what he is feeling but there seems to be no words matching with that expression. But some times, you just read something which hits the nail right on the head! The following two lines are just like that only, explaining pain in the most beautiful manner I shall say.  Its in Hindi and as usual , I shall do the translation in English as well. Have a read,

Mili saza jo mujhe wo kisi khata pe nai Faraz,

Mujh par zurm saabit hua jo wafa ka tha!

And its meaning in English is,

The punishment that I got was not for any mistake of mine,

I was just declared convict of doing a crime of being in love!

Nothing fits for it other than a word,”awesome” !

A Really LOOOONG Travel…. January 26, 2010

I was pretty sure when I wrote the immediate last post that something wrong would surely happen. I just could feel it coming but I didn’t think that it would turn up to be really bad! I have done the travel of that same number of hours which one would spend traveling back and forth from Singapore from India. Any guesses? Yes, about 12 hours when I was actually supposed to spend only about 5 and could be here at about 1pm in the afternoon while I actually landed up at 5pm and in my hotel at 6.45pm!

I had my flight booked initially for 11.30am. It was fine but some problem was coming for the confirmation of it so my travel desk intimated me that they would give some another flight and guess what timing they gave to me, 9.40am! WTH! To get it, I had to start at about 6.30am and which means, I would have to get up at about 5am! And given the reason that I can’t sleep when I have to get so early and that too to catch a flight, I couldn’t really sleep at all the whole night! I got ready and left when my cab came right at 6.30am. I was at the airport at about 7am, finished check-in and went to have breakfast. Finished it and was waiting for the flight to be announced , only to see that nothing happened up till 9.30 even! Staff told that the flight is delayed to 10.10am and since then, it was just 30 minutes increasing every time when I asked! Finally at about 2.30pm the flight took off, making us reach at Bangalore at about 5pm. And since it takes about 1.5 hours in a day light traffic from airport to city where my hotel happens to be, it just covered up the entire 12hours timeline perfectly! And it was just not travel but couple of other things as well added to the agony!

When you have to wait for so long, its for sure that you would like to have some thing. I did have the breakfast in the morning at about 8am and I thought to have a mini lunch sort of thing by having a pizza and Coke. The sales guy said that would I like to spend few extra bucks and would like to add garlic bread as well, to which I said yes! Just when I paid the amount of bill, the airline announced that free refreshment would be given to the passengers! Great, just damn great! Couldn’t they announce just a minute ago so that I could skip paying the amount? Anyways, I didn’t bother to check what they were offering because the stuff I got was good. Those who know me, are aware about this fact that I drink coffee a lot and I did have a latte with the breakfast as well. But I wanted to have another one and just when I was wandering around to decide where to get it, I saw a counter where Aloha drinks were being served. I asked for something hot and that guy said he can give me a mint, ginger, lemon based tea. Now how bad that can be right? I said yes, go ahead and get me one! He asked me that should he be adding some honey to it as well, why not I said ? I paid for it and had the first sip. YUCK! May be I can’t have any tea which is not traditional or may be the guy did make it really bad or may be it was Aloha! I just cursed myself that why I didn’t go and pick a standard one but hey, that’s how one learns!

Finally, after all said and done, I am in my hotel now and from tomorrow, a very tough session will be starting. Hope no one says Aloha to me :-)! 

Morning About To Get Ruined…. January 25, 2010

Its just always that whatever I think/plan, that doesn’t work and what I tell others as well, they seem not to bother about it as well. And that’s exactly what’s happening now as well. I had finished half part of one program yesterday. I was having a program of 1 day which was going to start from 28th and I thought, I shall get some free time to have rest and study. And since I am staying with S, I asked my travel desk to get my flight booking done a little early so that I can go to Banglore, have some rest there and unpack myself in a nice manner rather than getting there at midnight and still feeling sleepy next day. Well, this was all what I thought and surely enough, it was bound to not to happen and it didn’t as well! I was told today that my 1 day program has been changed to 3 day program. Its going to be a real tough one as well. The travel desk guy has “really” listened to what I said to him and has given me a flight at very early in the morning which means I can’t sleep now as well because the thought of missing the flight is knocking in my mind! So I am just sitting and trying to kill time. My morning, despite being a holiday would be getting ruined and there is nothing that I can even do about it 😦 !

A Completely Spoiled [B]Day…. January 22, 2010

There are times when one wishes so much from god, all what is good, all what is best for him, he asks from god. But some people, don’t do it. They only wish very rarely for something and that too normally is not something earth shattering kind of thing, something as costly as asking on a very cold day, a ray of sunlight from him! And they don’t do it only with the god but from the people around them. They don’t ask for a BMW or an I-phone or anything stupid thing like that but just a very simple thing like a smile or a hug, things which may mean nothing to many but for some, that’s all what counts! Is asking for a sunlight or for a moment of smile too much costly to ask for? It seems it is for both god and for people because somehow, both fail to give it most of the times! And that’s exactly what did happen today which fortunately(or unfortunately, I don’t know) is the day when I came on this planet Earth! Yes, its my birthday today and as per the convention, it should had been a “happy” birthday but for me, it just turned out to be a day when I got upset almost at its peak!

I was called by a colleague for some troubleshooting which needed to be done over his database. My phone was switched off for some time yesterday since I was having a very severe headache and I just wanted to have some rest and I guess, that’s a crime to do. I was told many “lessons” in a very “strong” pitch that why I must not switch off my phone. If it would be a normal day, people won’t bother for this even that whether Aman is dead or alive but since someone needed my help, even for my phone being "dead”( off is the same state what dead is for a phone) was a problem for them! Nevermind, I did solve it and in that process, the time period of birthday wish, 12am , also did pass! I couldn’t even attend to those who did call me up ( the number was very less though , can count it on fingers ). I did try to revert back to those who did take the pain to stay awake and call me, even from across the other ends of the world even! This was one part of the story which made me upset. The second part which did make me upset was that I saw some doing things knowingly which are bound to make me upset and it did happen just when I opened my eyes. It was still so early in the morning and hotel staff mentioned that its cold today but I was burning like anything and the irony was that the day wasn’t even started yet!

At work, I asked someone few days ago to send me some documents which were needed for today’s session. That person took it lightly and only did manage to send that document late in the evening yesterday. When I did see the document, it became visible to me that I won’t be able to handle the requirement. I did try reaching the concerned person but he didn’t pick up my calls. Since the delegates asked me to check couple of things about today’s session and to add to it, I knew there would be issues with the document that was sent to me, I wanted to speak with this guy very keenly! But I came to know that he had to leave the office since there was some medical emergency that did strike to one of his relatives. I called him up and he promised me that he would call by 9 in the night but he didn’t. I would say that he couldn’t because in the morning, whatever he told me , that makes me say “didn’t” only! Anyways, all said and done, I was able to speak to him in the morning and explained to  him the entire situation, discussing which we came to the conclusion that we would call off today’s program. I decided to speak to the delegates and he said that he would talk to the senior management as well as would start working for the next possible schedule for the same program! Since he himself was not able, he mentioned to me that he would come late! I did say all whatever was there to the delegates. One delegate got very upset.  We did speak for about half an hour and skipping all the nitty-gritty details, I would just say that it didn’t go very well. I had no fault of mine anywhere since it was never my duty to revert back to them and I would even say that it wasn’t  a mistake on the part of the other guy as well who was actually supposed to do it since he himself was facing serious personal issues. All what was required by others was to understand this and let it go since we are committed to deliver whatever we promised and its not just like that, its our job! But all the heat still came over me since I was the one who was doing the public facing and despite having no part anywhere, I was giving explanations for things which I didn’t do even! Anyways, all this did happen and kept on for quite some time. For enough time which did make me say finally that is  it really a “happy” birthday of mine and if this is what birthday is supposed to be, its better that if it won’t come next year! I shall be much happy with that rather than seeing all of this happening on this day which won’t come back in a year again now! I was told that the last program did go exceptionally well which was a bit good to hear after an almost spoiled [birth]day!

I am back in my hotel and just when I entered, I got a message from my airline carrier that my flight has got delayed by 3 hours which means, if it would actually fly(which I am starting to doubt now), it would be almost morning when I shall be reaching Delhi and on the same very day, I have to start a program. There goes the idea of having some rest and also goes away the feeling that it was supposed to be a day when I was meant to be a little happy if not too much! Yeah right!

A Little More Old Today…. January 21, 2010

Well, I have become another year older today. Yes, its my birthday which did start with an upset mood. I am away from home and is all alone this  with no one around me. To make things more worst, I shall be working tomorrow as well! So with an already upset mood and no one around to celebrate the day with, its going to be a tough day tomorrow rather than a “happy birthday”!

Being Virtual Continues…. January 21, 2010

Yes I am still being virtual and the “Being Virtual” series’ part-1 got over today. Normally when I finish my program, there are always some last moments when I am shaking hands with all the guys, we exchange e-mail ids ( and some times phone number as well) and most importantly, I am able to see that smile on their faces which does tell me that all did go well. Surely, up till that time period, there are lots of technical and non-technical talks that do happen and all that just keeps the spirits of both, mine and of the delegates alive! But this time, it was different since I was just virtually present for them so nothing like that happened. Yes, we did share some last sentences but I did miss that smiles part for sure! About the program also I don’t have much idea that how it did go, again because of the same reason that I had no way to check that how the recipients are taking it! I just hope that all did go well. As much as I am worried about this program’s score, the same I am worried about tomorrow’s program since I have got an e-mail about what I have to discuss tomorrow? Well, nothing new and nothing different with just one thing to add that the module that I need to talk about, I have no idea about it! Its on a version over which I haven’t worked before. Doesn’t sounds like a good thing right? Well, its really not is and that’s what making me so upset!

It may be a looong night tonight because I would need to sit and study for tomorrow and I am not sure that how much I would be able to prepare in just one night? And just to make my mood more bad, the hotel guys of mine have started playing around tricks with me. Now, when you want to order meals and you are in a hotel, where else you would call besides the room service? Well, so the same place I did call as well. But despite calling twice, no one picked up and the call got transferred to reception. I did get my order placed but it took them 55 minutes to get it! Okay, I have seen worse so I can live with that, nevermind! Let’s order a cup of tea because the headache is there. Same thing, the call goes to the reception and the order gets placed. I was expecting delay but when it went high to as much as 60minutes, I thought I should call and tell that I don’t need tea made from tea leafs picked freshly from farm, the normal would work just fine! So I called and someone picked up the phone and upon asking for tea, he said, sir you can’t get tea! EXCUSE ME!! And why I can’t get, well the answer for that was, sir no you can’t get. I didn’t want to but I had to say that I am going to pay for it okay, I am not asking for a free tea for god’s sake! Some one else grabbed the phone, said sorry and said he is sending it immediately and it did come. Well, the only issue was that it was iced-cold and I didn’t ask for an iced tea! I asked him to take it back and also make me talk to the manager. The manager said sorry and said he would send another cup which he did as well but this time, I asked the waiter to take it back. Another day, I ordered for dinner, no one picked up the call at room service BUT they did call me at 10pm and asked, do I need dinner? I didn’t know that whether I should be upset or should just laugh? Well, I just said that if you are giving a free dinner, I am all up for it! And today when I came back and asked for juice, I was told that I can’t get it because there are no fruits, sweet 🙂 . Okay, I shall just say that it might be a bad week although it shouldn’t be because it was supposed to be special because it contains a date but it still has become!

Let’s see what tomorrow brings. Do come back when "Being Virtual” returns! Sounded perfectly like Ripley’s Believe it  Or Not isn’t it 😉 ?

Being Virtual…. January 18, 2010

I had reached here at about 10pm last night. I was supposed to be in my flight actually because the flight was actually supposed to fly, I shifted myself from that to an earlier one which saved me 4 hours of travel. I was dead tired still when I got at my hotel. Surely the major reason of it was my traveling but the other reason( and which I feel is more stronger even) is my almost no sleep and water coming from the eyes. Don’t ask me the reasons for anything because I am neither in a state nor in a mood to explain anything. And moreover, it has nothing to do with the title of the post as well. So just to sum up, what else one would expect from a silly guy than seeing him doing silly things right?

I am handling a Live Virtual Class for the first time. The format is simple, me, the instructor is at a different physical location whereas the delegates are from the entire world or should say, are at different locations of this world. The class happens live but not in a real classroom( am using a meeting room at the time) and also the interaction is through an interface, the whole experience is live yet virtual for all! And I am delivering this kind of session for the first time so its all is a sensational experience for me! To be honest, I am not a big fan of such things for longer durations like a full week or so. If its happening for few hours or may a full day even, its okay but I can’t imagine myself sitting and listening to the voice of someone whom I would never see, won’t ever come to know anything about him/her as a person and moreover missing the entire classroom feeling attending which I have taken all of my trainings, education so far! So if one asks me, I won’t say that its such a great thing but looking at the brighter sides of the things, if there are hurdles in sending people for training to other locations due to whatever reasons, than there is nothing which beats LVC format of the training. Well, it doesn’t matter a dime what I feel about the format so I better be quite. About my own experience, I really did like one thing for real and that is that in an LVC session,  I don’t need to bother about my dress code. Why, simple because there is no one to watch me 🙂 . So which means, no need to wrap a tie around my neck, no need to wear formals and no need to shave as well LOL! Okay okay I guess my headache is making me mad so being sensible, I did finish my first day of being virtual. I can’t say that how things are going, I guess its obvious because I can’t see anyone and also their reactions as well! Its going to be a tough ride for me. Let’s see how everything goes and what experience being virtual brings up!

I am having a very bad headache and I don’t have any medicine also with me now. Also there is a very severe pain in my arm as well. I shall see if I can find some coffee or something to have because there is no mood to have anything else. No, having coffee won’t help in arm pain and I know that as well. Its just for taste, coffee has stopped effecting me now! So for a good taste, hunt starts. Stay tuned for more virtual tales!

Traveling Starts…. January 16, 2010

I shall be honest, I have no mood to go anywhere this time! I am feeling so much tired from inside that I just can’t even make myself think anything positive. May be its just me or may be its me and the things happening around me which are causing it,I don’t know but what I do know is that I need….never mind,it doesn’t matter what I need so its better I don’t mention it as well! I got to do what I got to do and there is no escape of mine from it. So I am leaving tomorrow for a very tough program and to add to my problems, the format is entirely different that would be used for the program. I have not delivered any program under this format so its going to be real tough challenge for me! Let’s see how everything goes! I shall be having back to back programs after this one and all are going to be really tough. I don’t know how I shall be able to smile when I really want to sit and cry and that’s the hardest part for me because I need to smile , doesn’t matter what! Hope all goes well! Pray for me guys and wish me luck!