Aman's Blog….ANYTHING goes here!

Few days back, I wrote a post about Aquarian Man which is me. I found that one quite near to be to my self. Today  when I was sitting over my guest house manager’s desktop, I found some more informaion about Aquarian Man so thought will share with you all. Well I find this also quite near-to-be-true. If you know me, let me know how much its true about me. Have a read:

So is it true?

No I am not on any killing spree, I was talking about my programs. I have finished another one yesterday. Now there is one more to go at this place. Its been a long trip here but so far, so good that’s all that I can say!

This program had the same thing that the last program had, lots of people, lots of respect and treatment like a star to us. Everything was great except for one thing that my venue was about 200kms from my hotel. The travel was a killer. That was the only thing which was a problem. There were so many things that happened in this program which never happened before. Well to start from, I never traveled so far to conduct my program. So that was the first big shock. The next one was that before we would start, principal of the the host college asked me and another guy to give short speeches about the program. Now the other guy was a master in that as he is doing this kind of thing from a long time. But poor me never touched a microphone before ever. And despite that I give all the time presentations only, I never spoke for a speech before. So I had to take a quick crash course in speech from him. I have no idea what did I say though despite that course too!

The program got started just like another programs. Despite the long travels, there was nothing much different until 2nd day. What happened? Well I used to start at 7am to get at the venue by 9.45am. On 2nd day, it was raining like anything since night. I thought what rain would do,its just rain. I may be slow due to it but that’s the worst that would happen! How wrong I was in my assumption, I came to know on “the day” when I came on the highway road which connects one city to another and found that the road has a slope in it and that slope is filled with water. So ,you may say! Well the water was filled with a depth of 8feets making it impossible for a car to pass through it. Great! My driver asked some locals that how much time it would take to pump off the water from the road, the answer was that it “may” get cleared by 5pm.WHAT! I couldn’t afford to stay on the road for that long. So I asked my driver to get me into some train or bus which can move and can take me to my venue. Well luckily I got a bus which did make me reach my place. Though it took 3 hours for me to get there means I got at venue at 12pm but it was still much better than getting there at 5pm and losing one whole day!

On the ending day, it was once again, there was a request to give speech. Well I am not praising my self but this time, I indeed did much better than the last time. One another thing that did happen was that when it was asked from chief guest to say “few words”, he started from this that when he was coming to dice, there was almost no clapping. But when he(me) was coming, it was thumping and a HUGE clapping. So it proves that indeed who has stolen the show completely. It was a great compliment for me, I must say. All the guys were so supportive and gave so much of respect. I won’t ever forget that two guys from the other group , left that group and joined mine. I guess that’s the best I could ask for, I had no idea why they did that as I never encourage this thing but they were so reluctant to sit in my group that I had no other choice. On the last day, it was a huge session of picture shoot. One thing I wont forget and that was that a guy came and asked my autograph over his copy. I was like, WHAT but he insisted and I had to put my sign with my email id over his copy. No idea what they saw in me as I know nothing and I am nothing. But still, the least I can say for all their respect and affection is a heartiest thank you.

So now its a holiday for me for two days. One day has already passed and on Monday, I shall be starting another program. I hope it will go smoothly, chances of which are very dim if you ask me. Let’s see what happens!

Alot of times, few lines when we read, touch our hearts and we are forced to sit back and think about them if not many times still atleast for once. But its not often that few lines do two things and that is that they do touch our hearts but some where they tell a story of our lives also. Here are few lines which are describing something similar. These lines are depicting the story of a guy who have seen the real colors of every one and is telling what he is feeling now. These lines are in Punjabi. I shall explain their meaning in English in a while. Have a read,
Ae khushi kade sade ghar v muskrandi aa,

Hauli hauli….
Hauli hauli….
And the meaning in English is,
Hey happiness, come to my home too some day smiling!
Slowly all the charms of this heart are dying !
Dad is good, mom is also good!
The only one who is bad is just me, their son!
I have crushed all the dreams that they had set in their eyes!
I just did what my heart said and God is witness of that!
Slowly….
Slowly….
What was the relation between us, you never understood that!
Now some day , you would just watch me wrapped in a white clothe!
You would have tears in your eyes and will say crying, don’t go!
Slowly….
Slowly….
People are hitting my love with stones,
What to say to them when the most fearsome are the one whom I called mine!
Instead of insulting everyday, just give me poison and finish it!
Slowly….
Slowly….
The wounds given you by you will never get cured!
I shall rather die than curing them!
Let these wounds hurt me, this is my punishment!
Slowly….
Slowly….
We are born bad, when will die, will be bad!
There is no need to put my ashes in holy Ganga!
Just throw them away in the thin air when I shall die!
Slowly….
Slowly….

I am not sure that you would be able to relate to this one or not but I know some one whose life is told in these lines very closely. I shall tell that story some time later, not now. At the moment, just let me know that did you like these lines or not?

I finished my program today. It was a big chaotic one when it got started. This was the first of the kind program which I had done. This is not the usual one as here the people who came were the faculties in multiple engineering colleges. It was not the usual kind of program as there were alot of speeches, formal startup of the program happening in the start. And not to forget, I needed to travel 140kms everyday back and forth from my hotel to the venue.

Despite all the hassles, bad food at the venue , the guys were great. They gave me so much of respect and displayed so much of eagerness to learn that I really forgot everything. It was a very good feeling to make people aware about some thing which I really like, Oracle database.

In the end, there was a closing ceremony. I am not really the kind of person who likes too much of speeches, formal sort of stuff that mostly is artificial only. But it was a part of the program that I had to attend it with another person who was also a part of the program( and will be in next week too) despite that I really wanted to go back to the hotel as I am not feeling well at all since yesterday. The ceremony started with usual speeches from all the management people. After that, it was asked from the participants to share their experiences. To my surprise, 3 from my group stood up and talked about it. I really don’t like to see my name coming up anywhere but it did come and in a good way. It was some thing which really makes me uncomfortable as I don’t know anything at all and I think that I really don’t deserve those words which I heard but still I am so much thankful that guys did find my little knowledge helpful for them. Then next it was the event of handing over the certificates.  Now happened some thing which was unexpected. The certificates were supposed to be distributed by the management people but the director of the host institute insisted that I should hand over the certificates. Now I wont say that I got goosebumps but just that I don’t think that I am elgible enough for this honour. But I had to get up and stand there so I did that. The moment I stood up, there was a big applause. After handing over couple of the certificates, I insisted to call the other guy too. When I got back to my seat, the director of the hosting company said, it seeems you have a huge fan following. Well what I could say on this? So I did in which I am perfect, just gave a smile and said,its just their kindness that’s all. After the tea, all the guys were smiling so it means that everything went well. To my surprise, they brought a present for me, a symbol of the city where I am in at the moment. Well all I could say then and now is thanks,it means so much!

It was an event which I would remember always. But still, I don’t deserve that much what I got today. I know nothing yet and for nothing, its too much that I got today.

Yeah I got back today morning. I shall be leaving again tomorrow. This was a terrible week. I have never been so tense in any program of fine. It was almost certain that the program was going to be bounced. But I must thank the guys who came for the program that supported me all the time and also were very cooperative. If it had not been than the fate was already decided for this program. I don’t really like talking about myself any point but this time, I really felt like achieving a real tough goal and that was to make sure that the program ends well with everyone smiling. And it did happen that all were smiling. I didn’t like too much rain that was there, a cage like room that I got in the hotel, long stays in the office trying to troubleshoot the technical issues of the installations, skipping meals for 3 days but I am still glad that all ended well. I am at the moment just so much tired. An empty feeling is there inside the heart, I am not sure why. Its just feeling that there is nothing inside, no happiness. I don’t know why. May be I need some sleep. Lets see if that too comes to me or not or it would leave me too like others have done already.

Its been the crazy 4 days. I am not sure that I ever got into such a bad situation before and I really wish that I won’t ever get into the same again. Nothing else except issues I am facing from last 4 days. I can’t even get upset over the responsible guys as they are novice and they did beyond what they could with their limited knowledge. But still, what ever may be the reason of it, the task didn’t get complete and every day I am feeling like fresh meat thrown in front of hungry lions. I am just trying out that things sort out and nothing bad would happen. Okay so you must be thinking that what is there so wrong that happened? Well now you have asked so let me tell you. I needed 8 machines to be up and running with Linux and Oracle database installed before I could start. I was told that it is done and its “perfect”. I thought it would be the same only and landed up at the venue. Guess what, nothing was there. Since last 4 days , I am working round the clock to set up the things. Now its impossible to install 8 machines with o/s and Oracle but when you got another scheduled task in your hand which you need to do for 8 hours daily , there is no media to install both the softwares and you are told no one in the city carries them either, I don’t think that there is much that you can do about it right! That’s the same happened for me too. After 3 days, today we have got the VPN access to some remote machines. I just hope that this wouldn’t let me down now. I am really so much upset and frustrated at the moment. I am not really having a single clue why the heck people don’t give value to commitment and promise and just take everything as “it would work because God is there”. Come on, give me a break!

I am at Bombay. Its been like crazy yesterday since I had to catch a flight from Allahabad back to Delhi and immediately after 2 hours from that, another flight to here. Needless to say, it squeezed me like anything. Good thing was that I was having a holiday today so I could recollect myself. Its raining like crazy here. I like rains but not like this. Its like in a minute, its clean than its raining and its not just raining , its like raining like cats and dogs. And I can see the status of the roads after the rain which gives me goosebumps. Another reason may be that I don’t like this place too much. Anyways, enough of ranting, as I am not going to stay here for long so I shouldn’t be complaining either.

This time the hotel that had been booked for me, it gave me a room which is junior single room. Not sure that when they put the title then junior meant for the room or for the person? Its like 10X6feet wide only where one can barely go on a bed that’s all. Thanks to budget constraints, I can’t switch to another room too.

You must be thinking that all I am doing is just putting my complaints here. Well I can’t help it as the time is not so good. There are tons of things going on the personal front which are just making me so much upset. And may be that’s the reason that though that I am not a sort of person who normally complains much but may be my mood is so pist off at the moment that I am not able to like anything. Let’s see how the program starts tomorrow? Irony is that its among the toughest programs and I am sure so will be the guys too. (No) Fun fun!

I have to leave tomorrow. Besides that I am always worried or concerned or bothered , whatever you can say , about my programs and their outcome, this time or I should say from this time, I am much more worried about some thing much more serious related to my family. I am just wishing and praying that all the things remain sorted and on their place. I really don’t have much strength left to bear any more blows. Pray for me guys!

At times, when there is so much wrong going on,all one needs is some one to come along , sit  besides and say , hey don’t be worried, everything is going to be fine! It may not solve the problem at all but those words act like a life saver. And its not just true for that person who is having problem but also for those who are along with him. In the time of problem only , it becomes evident who is a real friend and who is just a phony! Yes I am seeing some of this at the moment myself. My problem is that I am not having a habit of praising people too much. I just can’t do that. I say a few words and that too not to that person him/herself but to some one else. I just can’t say long phrases in praise of anyone. And if I don’t say , I certainly don’t like people doing the same for me as well. I really like those who would come and tell me how “bad” I am rather than trying to put over the seventh sky with praises. I can’t help it, its just me.

Anyways as I was saying that in problematic times only , it becomes evident who is really that what he/she claims to be and I have tested that myself. I won’t speak about those who don’t give a damn if some thing goes wrong with near and dear ones. But those who stood with you in your bad times, despite anything, despite bothering and caring about themselves , they are the people who really have a heart of gold. I am not sure that whatever I am going to say here, I shall ever go and say the very same to that person face to face ever. May be some day I shall say some what of it but I really can’t be certain about it. My friend A whom I talked about here when he got engaged is the person whom I know now for so many years( I wont tell you exactly how many , I am sorry). We know each other from our high school days. So many things we have done together, so much time we have spent together. I feel so much proud when I hear from him that he got very few true friends in Punjab and one among them is me. I know for him, my name comes on the top of that list. Its just feels like yesterday when I sit back and think about a kid who was speaking so much and perhaps was the naughtiest guy in our class. Both of us have seen so many times together, good as well bad both. And in our families, we are not two different guys, we are just a part of each other’s families. He is a married man now but still for me , he is the same Saini which he was so many years back. Unfortunately he is suffering from so much bad health issues at the moment and I really wish from the bottom of my heart that he gets completely recovered as soon as possible.

So A is the guy about whom I can say that he is the oldest and among those very few whom I made friends, real friends. But he proved to be much ahead from that. We are not just friends, he is like an elder brother for me. Despite all of my stupidities, my arguments, he is the one who have always stood beside me. It really doesn’t matter where he is, for me , he is always there , may not be physcially but mentally , he never lets me sit alone. There is some problem going on in the family. Despite knowing that for A, due to his health, its really difficult to travel, I had no other choice but to call him and ask to come along. I shall be lying if I would say that I am surprised that he didn’t spare a minute and he was there. I knew that if not anyone else, Saini would be there when I need him. Today I wanted to say so much to him what I was feeling but just like typical Saini, he shut my  mouth and sent to get some thing for him. I am not sure that he would ever come and read all this. But yes for me , he holds a very special place. A place which is not shareable by anyone, place for a brother who may not be my real brother but he is much more than a real one too. I want to say so much more but I guess I wont be able to and its better I keep those things within myself for that moment when I shall get a chance to tell A what place he has in my heart and how much he means to me as a brother , as a friend.

I am talking about people and if I wont mention about someone whom I want to be here at the moment , it just wont be right. There are so many people who are there with you but at times, you need some one to be with you when all others leave and you are again left alone. Those who leave, they don’t do it because they don’t want to be a part of your problem but because doesn’t matter how ever one is closest, all have their own lives as well and they simply can’t leave that just for you. I agree some people do that too but the number of those can be counted over finger tips. And its not a wrong thing to do at all. But when all leave, one needs some one who would sit with you holding your hand and say, its okay, just don’t be worried I am with you. And that person can’t be everyone, its just someone special only. Some one who is much higher from all, some one whose lap you look for a sleep, whose touch you want over your forehead to take away all the tensions and tiredness. Some one who is just yours! I am not sure that “some one” would ever read this or not but yes its true, I am missing that person at this moment so much! If you want to know who is that someone special, I am sorry I wont tell you. Its just that I know if he/she ever read this, he/she would understand in an instant that I am talking about him/her only.

At times, few lines just reveal so much. I read these lines yesterday and needless to say, I found them just so true. I am sharing them with you. Have a read,

And their meaning in English is,

Do I need to add something to these lines and to their meaning? I guess not!