Aman’s Blog….ANYTHING goes here!

I didn’t think that I had to go but it seems that it is inevitable. I don’t have any choice but to leave despite of my health. There are 2 programs which got scheduled and there is no alternative except myself for them. Its going to be really tough to travel, work in the condition in which I am at the moment though. Both the programs are completely new for me and this would just make the things much more harder. Let’s see what happens? I shall be leaving tomorrow and hope everything goes well and fine. Wish me luck guys and pray that I would be back in one piece and by myself .

If you come over here often, you must be aware about this fact that there hardly is any time when I don’t meet with an accident or in other words, I always meet with some accident( pick whatever you like) . But today what happened, in that there is no fault of anyone else but only I am responsible. And it did teach me two important lessons of the road too. What. you still didn’t get it, I met with an accident , yes again . And this time, its a “little bit” severe!

Before I talk about my condition, let me talk about the lessons that I won’t probably forget ever. The very first lesson is, one must not get lost in the thoughts when he is in command of the driving. Be the thoughts of joy or pain, one must not think anything and should only look at the road ahead as if you are too busy thinking, you may not see what’s coming ahead and by the time you actually come to know, it may be too late! I am so much upset over few people and some things from some time. While driving today, I don’t know when and how I was thinking just so many things. It was my bad that I was too lost in my thoughts that I just didn’t realize that I am driving fast and there is an sewerage cap which is not properly closed and is raised to a very high level. By the time, I realized that I am just right ahead of it, it was too late. I did try to put brakes but as I said , I was just too close. So what can happen when you hit almost a feet high solid iron cap struck firmly with a fast bike? I was flying in the air. It wouldn’t be much bad if I had not done the second mistake which became the base of the 2nd lesson that I learnt today.

The second lesson that I guess, I won’t forget is that when driving a two wheeler, one must wear the helmet over his head and should not carry it over his arm like I did today. Probably, it was just not my day and I did two repeated mistakes. I normally won’t take off the helmet as long as I won’t reach to the destination but today, I had to get the petrol. So I took off the helmet at the fuel station and since then, I didn’t wear it back. And this was probably the biggest blunder that I did which did cost me a little too much when I touched the road after my short flight in the air.

So what happened? Well, not much except there are some stitches. Its been quite some time since when it did happen that I had got stitches.And this only did happen because of my stupidity.  Other things are okay, I am not considering them as severe. Hope this has not effected me too badly, hmm what day it is BTW ?

I just read these lines over a profile of a friend’s friend. Not sure what to say except this that if this is the mentality, I really don’t think we are going into a right direction. Have a read,

 

 

 

I am feeling so much sad and alone today. I just can’t say it enough how much though! I saw some one in my family crying today, someone who did so much all of her life despite all the odds, all the issues , all the obstacles. She did truly more than what possibly could be done for all of us. And today she cried again thinking about all of us. I tried my best to make sure that she won’t cry and get relieved from her worries. And the worse part is that her biggest worry is me!

 

Besides having this extreme feeling of sadness, am feeling so much alone too! There is just one person whom I told the stuff which no one else knows sitting in the tea house of an airport. Some one who promised me to take care of that lady around whom my whole existence revolves. That day, when I opened my self and shared those things with that person, I really felt so relieved, so strong. But it was just an illusion. I just wish it was a reality. But its not and am just sitting here all alone with no one beside me wishing what the title is saying.

I am a big fan of good poetry. I am not a poet myself  but where ever I do find anything good written, I try to collect and share it. Surely enough, my first preference would always be Punjabi poetry. But there is no such thing that I wont read from any where else. Whatever is good, I try to make sure that I don’t miss it!

 

There are some poets which have created history with their writings. Late Ahmed Faraz is among those handful which wrote timeless pieces from his pen. Saying anything about him would like showing torch to the sun. So without wasting any more time, I would like to share a poetic masterpiece from him which I read today only and instantly fell in love with it. This is in Hindi and I shall translate it English in a while. Please note, this does has lots of words from Urdu as well.I shall put the meanings of those words in the end of both Hindi and English versions. First, in Hindi,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here are the word meanings in Hindi and English,

 

 

And here goes the translation in English,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I won’t even attempt to say anything except this that for me, some lines are just so true! I can relate to them truly from my heart. Rest, I leave it over you to read and understand it. If you are not fond of reading quality poetry, it all may sound completely absurd to you but that’s what the beauty is! This poetic masterpiece needs lots of thinking so do try your best to find what’s hidden underneath these words and I am sure, you are going to love it! Leave your comments to tell me that you did like it or not? If any contribution you can make to correct the translation, please feel free to post it in comments. I shall correct the translation with proper attribution. Enjoy!

I strongly believe that one must do things for others, anything which can help anyone in the least possible manner even, must be done! Though I have so many things in my mind which I want to do, I am not yet able to do them all, thanks to the other issues that are going along with me. But I believe one must have his wishes strongly kept in his heart, rest , whenever they can be put into action, it doesn’t matter. And today was the day when one of those wishes of mine got completed.

 

Its a killing summer which is going on here in my place. There are no rains so far and as per the predictions of weather department, the chances of monsoon coming in, are also not so bright. The temperature is shooting up to even 47/48 degrees even! With this killing hot weather and no rain, its nearly impossible or very tough for anyone to move out on the roads. And those who has to go out for their work, all they want is water to quench their thirst. In Punjab, there is a tradition of arranging Chhabeels which is serving cold water , mixed with milk sugar and any flavor to all who want it. I used to see it being arranged all the time in the summers and when ever I used to see it, a strong wish always kicked in my heart that I need to do the same for the people. I never got a chance to arrange it, partly because I didn’t have funds to do it( neither do I have so many now too) and/or I would be busy some where working. But this time,I was just so keen to do it. So when I came back, after 2 days of it, I met with my friend Sunil and shared my wish with him. It happened to be his birthday today so he immediately said, lets do it on my birthday. That’s it, the stage was set.

 

Within a day, we arranged everything, be it sugar, milk, utensils , ice cubes and most importantly, people who would come with us and help in serving the water to others. In the morning today at 8am, we were all set with the sitting arrangements done and water being collected. In Punjab, this is considered one of the most noble acts and almost anyone who would even have the slightest regard for Punjabi culture , loves to be a part of it. An example of the same happened in the morning when a guy came to us out of nowhere. Neither me nor Sunil knew him. He was going to his job but he saw us arranging the stuff , so he came back in the midway. He asked us can he be a part of it ? What to say, we readily agreed. He told us that doesn’t matter  where he would see anything like this being arranged, he would first give the preference to be a part of it. He was working on a good position and an act like this from someone alike of his profile is rare to find in this world where people are just plain selfish for their own benefits. He called his office and told that he is not coming today and he would be here in the chhabeel for the whole day. We needed glasses , so me and one more guy Keshav, we went to 2 Gurudwars and got 70 of them( which actually proved less in number later on, thanks to the huge rush that we got) . By 9.20, we were ready to serve the water to all who wanted it. We chose a place on the national highway road to Chandigarh which is always moving and is filled up with lots of people who travel constantly.

 

In less than an hour of us being started, we started getting huge loads of people. We got some reviews for the water that the sugar is not proper and its less sweeten, reacting to which we immediately added more sugar and milk to the water. After that, the feedback for the taste was awesome. Seeing us doing this, out of no where a guy came and gave us 2 jugs of milk to add to the water. 3 guys came and asked us that can they do some thing to contribute , for which we asked to get us sugar. And immediately they got us 5kgs of it. One guy brought a bottle of squash to add to the water which we did immediately. Me and Sunil were just so happy with so much of good response that we were getting. We got a common friend called Amit who runs an institute for engineering software training. He came along with his students who took over the charge of cleaning the glasses and get them ready again for those who need it afterwards. It was a team work indeed which just made everything possible and go in the right track!

 

We finished by about 3pm in the afternoon. We wanted to go for the whole day but we were out of resources by that time, both in man power and in the others. So we had to wrap it up by that time. We were all dead tired, especially me and one more guy who served water. But despite of the tiredness , we were all very happy and satisfied. It was a great feeling and we were indeed very satisfied that we did some thing useful for others. We didn’t do much this time as being our first time. Lots of people add with the water some thing to eat too! But we didn’t have that much money with us to make it that much bigger. But I hope and wish, God would some day make us that much capable too that we can make it more bigger next time. Not sure about that, but I am truly happy and satisfied today. Thanks to all who became a part of it for all of their efforts and support! Without anyone of who were present, it would had become very tough to do anything. A big thanks! Sunil took some snaps too which I need to collect from him. I shall be updating this post or would write a small new one when I shall get them. At the moment, its time to go to Sunil’s birthday party . Hope it would be fun too .

I got back today morning. There was another program which got scheduled but some how, things went to another track and I got a chance to get back home and another trainer was called for the program. I already had my ticket booked so that’s this whole confusion happened. But still, its okay. I am always happy to be back at home with my family so I guess, what ever happened , happened for good! The program went okay. Though I got some very good comments in the rating but still, I myself am not very happy from my rating. But over all, the delegates were smiling while leaving , asked for my email address , so I can say ( for the sake of saying ) that it went well!

 

If you are reading this blog, you probably would have read it already that I am having extreme pain in my left ear. I am not sure what’s the reason but it surely is killing me. I shall go to the doc tomorrow to get it checked up. The pain is so intense that due to that, I was fumbling even while speaking at times in the program, can’t even mention about sleepless nights due to it.

 

Last ,  but surely not the least, I did see yet again that people are not trustworthy. Even though you do your best for them, they still remain thankless and do what ever possible can be, to hurt you. I got to know few things about a friend of mine whom I know now for almost 10 plus years. I won’t mention that I did some thing for him or not but yes, my family certainly did some thing for him and that was a very big thing( at least I would consider it very big if  it would had been done for me).  I came to know certain things which have hurt me so much and I shall not either forget or forgive him about whatever he went and said to the world. He is much elder to me and I always thought him like an elder brother too but I guess, I happen to be taught one more time that people don’t really care or bother about relations/friendships. All they care about is about themselves. Don’t know what to say or how to react? So much upset but I guess, its not worth it to be, nothing would change even by being so too!

If you are thinking that what exactly the title means, well , that’s what I could think of to explain what’s going on. My left ear is having so much of pain since last 3 days. All was well until the time I woke up on this Sunday and felt this terrible pain in my left ear. I had no idea what’s going on and I just thought that it would be fine on its own. I having a weekend off so I thought , it would be just fine. I had to start a session on this Monday and the pain was terrible so I was just praying that it would go fine by that time. Well, too bad that I just did pray and didn’t go and see any doc and the result of that is that now since last 2 days, the pain has become unbearable. I am having so much of it that at times, it was nearly impossible to say a word even in the session. My friend Pavan told me that may be the pain is due to that cold which is still not ready to leave me, even when its already about almost a month since the first time it had hit me. Not sure that this pain is due to this cold only or there is some other reason for it? But one thing is for sure that due to this pain, its really getting tough for me to stand, speak even for a minute even!

 

The session, otherwise is going okay ( I guess). The delegates are very nice and cooperative. We had some good discussions today and I am quite hopeful that it will continue for tomorrow as well. The only thing which is making me worried is the pain of the ear. You may be thinking that why I didn’t go to the doctor then when there is so much of pain? Well, its not the case but its just that I am struck in some things which are letting me get free so late and all the appointments of the doctors are in the mornings. So I have got just one option and that is to take pain killer and wait for the time when I get back to home and get time to go to a doctor. Hope I shall stay alive by that time !

I am not sure why it does happen that some people are just so heartless to see anything beyond themselves? They don’t really care what it feels when due to their acts, some one may have lost his smiles for forever and become dead while being alive. For them, all what matter is that which is good for them. If some one even gets tears for life time, it just doesn’t matter to them.

 

I have a friend here. I shall not put the name of him. He is one of those guys who I truly see as a nice and cheerful person, some one who I would love to be a friend with and would look forward to spend time together. He is so much popular every where. You can imagine from this that there is a tea stall, even that guy knows and admires his cheerful nature. When I met him for the first time about 2 years ago, I found him the same as I was few years back. There is nothing that I am putting here in praise of mine ( I hate to say anything good about me) but its true, I know it and those who know me past last 9 years, they would tell you the same. He does everything in a unique way, some time really crossing the limits even. He would make sure that all around him are smiling, happy and are having a good time. I can say a lot but I guess you got the point. I always wished that he would remain the same all the time and no matter what, this smile over his face won’t go away ever! Knowing him, I had a feeling that it would not happen that he would be sad ever. I was wrong because I forgot that he has a heart too and that can be broken down into pieces, leaving him shattered.

 

Few months back when I came here, he asked me couple of things about relationships, gals , love and all this kind of stuff. I must mention here that he never asked this before as he never had any intimate relations with gals. So I told him what I know, at least I tried to tell him. He didn’t tell me what’s going on and I didn’t ask him with a stress too. All went as usual and I was back home , thinking that finally he has got someone and that gal would be very lucky who would get a beloved like him. Time passed and I got a chance to come back here again. I met him and came to know that he is finally going on a date. I don’t have a habit of digging out details of anyone’s personal matters like this one so I just kept mum , praying that all must go well with him and his gal. Again, I finished my work and got back. This all happened couple of months ago. I didn’t ask him who is the gal or anything other too. Once again, time passed and I got back here. I didn’t ask him again how are the things and I didn’t see anything wrong too. It was part because of the fact that I always get so much busy in my work here so I don’t get a chance some times to sit with my friends over here for longer time. It was all (appearing) good until the time we all sat for lunch. When we were all sitting , I was told by another friend that did you notice something? This friend of us was also sitting, so I looked at him and said , what is it? He said there is nothing and these people are just pulling the things without any reason. I got a feeling that some thing is wrong some where for sure. I was much busy in those days so I couldn’t ask anyone any details. But few days back, me and one common friend went out to have some snacks. There he told me that some thing wrong has happened. He told me that I must have noticed that his smile is missing and he is looking visibly lost. I asked what happened, for which he said that this guy didn’t discuss anything with us. Well, we came back and I decided to just have a look for a day. I did and it was indeed, a guy whose smile was among the most popular assets of him, it was indeed missing. His all activities were appearing like machine controlled ones. There was some thing wrong for sure and now I had to know what it was.

 

Just few days back, I sat with him in my break and I asked him what’s going on. He told me the same what he told to all others too that there is nothing wrong. I am not such an easy going person when I have some thing struck in my mind so I just refused to listen all this stuff and kept on asking. Finally he told me that there is indeed some thing wrong happened between him and his gal. When I asked what happened and what he told me, after hearing that, I really wished that that gal must had been in front of me. What he told that that gal just called him one fine day and told him that from now onwards, there is nothing between them. Upon asking that what happened, all what she said was that being with him is putting her in trouble and she doesn’t want that to happen. I asked what sort of problems she faced, for which he said that she told him that her parents saw his messages over her cell and due to this, she got so much of scolding and she doesn’t want to get scolded because of him! So the best part is, they should not stay together now. Now you wont’ believe how very much pist off I was ( and still am) when I heard this crap. I mean that’s among the biggest nonsense that I can imagine some one can say to his/her beloved that just because he/she got some scolding and this is uncomfortable for them to hear, they wont continue with that other person. Is this what is supposed to be called love? Those who really love their loved ones, they give away their heads even without having any second thought, give up anything and everything what they have for their loved one, even their lives too but don’t let their loved ones go away. History is filled with tons of stories where lovers , both guys and gals, gave up their lives, got hit by stones but never said a word even as it was all for their love, above which nothing really matters. But what I am hearing is that just because some one is afraid of her own damn comfort and safety, she is finding that the best would be throw away the guy like a used napkin because of him, she is facing some issues. Not sure what to say about it, what words to use for this? All I can say that one needs to be really heartless for even thinking about doing this to that person whom is in love with her blindly. What was his fault? He told me that he is not able to understand anything out of this whole episode that what to say to her and what to say to himself? I knew exactly what he was feeling so I just told him that to gather him self up and not to think about her. He is much better for her and he doesn’t need to be like this for some one who have no value of him. I know , these words wouldn’t help him and he will suffer for a long time. Any one who is stupid enough  to be nice, having  a loving, caring and true heart, he has no other choice but to suffer. It did hurt so much to see someone so nice like him to be completely quite now. He doesn’t smile, even when he does, its just artificial. He appears to be smiling to others but I know what he is feeling from inside. I just saw one more heart getting broken thanks to someone who just cared about herself, just bothered about her own benefits. One more smile got lost in the lonely valleys of sadness, one more pair of eyes got filled with tears.

 

I don’t know what to say. I have really no words! I shall just conclude by saying this that it may sound perfect to think about yourself, look for your own benefits but actually its not. Its good to look for your own benefits, good career, study in abroad and all other things like these but are they really so much important and precious that for them, even slaying some one’s head doesn’t matter at all? I guess not! These are all things which one can have any time in his /her life but it may not happen that every day would love you from the core of his heart without asking for anything in return, would give you smiles even when you give him just tears. It won’t happen every day that someone would be happy to give up everything for you just for your sake and still would be happy doing that. Giving some one tears can never be called or justified as a right act when he has not done anything wrong with you, even when someone has done wrong with you, it is said that don’t revert back to him with the same bad intentions. When we say it for those who have done wrong with us , when we say its not right to make any one cry or hurt some stranger too, than how come hurting that person who loved you can be called right? I don’t understand why people put themselves first before anything, even before their loved ones? If you have no importance in your heart for that person, if his tears matters the least for you, if your own comfort , your own prestige matters the most for you than why did you ruin some one else’s life for no fault of him? It may not impact to that person who is doing this. It won’t bother him that some one has lost his sleep, peace of his heart , smiles over his face. A sword can never understand how it feels when from it some one’s head gets slayed. Its only that person who is undergoing that pain knows that what it feels to get a heart broken! I shall just say this that don’t do this to anyone in your dreams too. It takes a lot to love trust some one, give her your heart. Value this, feel its importance. Its not every day that someone would say give away his heart in your hands trusting that you would keep it safe. Its not everyday that some one would share with you all his secrets, all his joys and sorrows ,believing that you would keep those secrets safe with you, you would lessen those pains and with you, those joys would get doubled. It doesn’t happen everyday and surely not with all. So if some one has chosen you for giving all these , value this. Giving tears to some one is just so easy. Try making some one smile, you would come to know how hard it is? Its just so easy to come and complain that some one has done nothing for you, its just so easy to say someone that what ever he has done for you , it was just his own wish, you never asked him to do anything so it doesn’t matter to you what problems he faced for doing all that? Try plucking a rose even, you would come to know how hard it is to get that too when there are so many thorns are around it? Its so much easy to overlook that someone crossed oceans, climbed mountains, traveled miles for you, its not that easy to do all this. And those who do all this and much more than this even, for their loved ones, they don’t do it to get some medals or get their names written some where but they just do it because they have love in their heart, so much love for their loved ones! They too could look for their own benefits, their own prestige but they never did that because above anything else, love and beloved’s matter! It is said that things are to be used and people are to be loved. But seems in this world, people are to be for use and things to be loved! Not sure why , really not sure know it is like this?