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Sitting Alone, Sad & Shattered…. October 9, 2015

Posted by Aman.... in Random Stuff.
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I am sitting here  alone, unwell and feeling like crying so much. Yes, thinking about many things. But above all, cursing this day because today is the day when God decided to take my dad away from my family and gave me this curse to pretend and act to be strong by keeping a straight face. And this keeping-straight-face is what makes people think that I don’t have emotions, all I care about is myself and all I do is just to make me happy. Don’t know how I can cut my heart out and show that all I want is to scream so loudly and cry so much cos I am missing my dad so much! Don’t know how I can tell what it feels when I saw this guy sitting in a train with his dad and that elderly person did hug his son and told him-take care of yours! Don’t know how I can explain that what it feels to portray being a mature person knowing that now, dad is not there to come and save you, protect you. Just don’t know!

I am just not feeling well and having this cough, cold and fever but I am wishing so much for rain cos I really want to walk in it and cry so much!

Dad, I hope you are watching  us. Just want to tell you that I miss you more than I can tell you too! I don’t cry cos I had been asked not to as I must stay strong as all look upon me only but I want to, I really want to cry so much while hugging you  so tightly!

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1. taochiapet - October 28, 2015

aman — respectfully, may you use that compassionate heart and bright mind to see through the limited definition of “strength” that binds you… blessings to you on your journey of no-self discovery!

A man is born gentle and weak.
At his death he is hard and stiff.
Green plants are tender and filled with sap.
At their death they are withered and dry.
Therefore the stiff and unbending is the disciple of death.
The gentle and yielding is the disciple of life.

Thus an army without flexibility never wins a battle.
A tree that is unbending is easily broken.

The hard and strong will fall.
The soft and weak will overcome.

Tao Te Ching Chapter 76
http://terebess.hu/english/tao/gia.html#Kap76

2. annie - October 29, 2015

taochiapet

I just need to say that I was so touched by your compassion. Grief seems like a long and very lonely journey and it certainly is! How wonderful it is when people like you reach out with words of support and comfort.. Sometimes we are not in a place where words can penetrate we are so broken ….shattered……..but
This speaks volumes about you. Keep doing what your doing!
Wishing you well Aman take care of your tender heart.❤️


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