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What’s More Painful…. February 13, 2010

Posted by Aman.... in Random Stuff.

Love , what it is? A feeling, an emotion, a touch? May be it is all of these things. But even though it may be all of these, there is something so much more about it! Love is the name of that relation which one makes by his/her own choice, its that unsaid, unspoken commitment which one makes to his/her partner when he says to him “I love you”. Love is that journey which starts from two strangers meeting just like that at some point of their lives and ends with both holding hands of each other! Love is the most sacred relation that one makes in his/her life because rest all the relations are given to a person from his birth, even his name is not of his own choice! But relation of love is the only one which makes on his own! A choice which either gives someone just smiles even in the darkest of the times or tears and cries! Love can enlighten one’s life and it has the power to bring endless darkness over it too! But wait a minute, is it really love which does it all? How is it possible for something to be capable to such good and at the same time, so much bad to some one? Is it like a rose in your hand or like holding a red hot iron rod? But whatever it may be, is it really possible for a feeling, an emotion to be so bad and yet be so good at the same time? What do you think, is the answer is a Yes? Well, let me tell you, its not Yes, it just can’t be Yes! Love is indeed just a feeling, an emotion which is just there! How it can be bad for one and good for another? There is no partiality that god has done with anyone that it would make the same feeling make one happy but would make some one else cry! Is it possible in anyways? No, its not! Than what it is which makes one the biggest and happiest thing of his life and for someone else, it comes out as a slow poison which kills him moment by moment, breath by breath? If you are assured by now that it can’t be the feeling, the emotion of love which can do this than keep on reading!

When we say there is love, where exactly we say it is? Is it in the air, in those greeting cards or in the phone calls or even in those three magical words? No its no where in any of these things. These are all just symbols, expressions of love but they don’t have love in them! Love is (should be) in the heart of those two people who say to each other I love you! love is in those four eyes who look at each other and see their own reflections, enough to tell them that there is love in those eyes! Love is in that hug which one embraces you, you feel that you are in the safest place over this entire planet! Love is in that shoulder over which you lean over to cry when you are most broken or when you are so tired! Love is that other person who says to you that she loves you! Love is that trust, that faith which you keep in your heart that if tomorrow, this entire world too won’t be with you, you can still look upto that very person and can blindly believe that she would be with you! That’s what love is, that’s where love is kept by god! The symbols which we have created to tell someone that we love him/her are just mere reflections of our feelings and nothing else! Agreed that its equally important to show the feelings as well than to just have them but more than the display, its the trueness of those feelings which matters in the long run! Its that faith of having someone only for you and being for someone in this entire world, that’s what matters is the most important thing! That said, the question still remains the same, what causes pain and what causes happiness in love? Is it love or something else? The answer is something else or better put, its some”one” else!  Yes, its that other person who causes it all. Its in the hands of that person whom you hand over your life, rights to make you most happy or saddest in this entire world assuming that she would never bring sadness for you even in the darkest dreams! Its not poor love, its that person which has the powers of bring both, happiness and smiles to the other person!

An old saying, which is old yet so true,”it takes two to tango” and my own version of it is that it takes two hands to clap but for slap, you need just one! Its not always required to say words for everything! And not all unspoken things mean nothing! Its not always important that one needs to write things up in bold and caps or in the same manner, one would need to ask his beloved explicitly a promise for just about everything! When one believes on his beloved,some things are just meant to be there and out of those few , the faith that one’s love won’t leave him alone in this world , is among the most treasured one! There is no better strength than knowing that there is some one who would stand with you in the sunshine or would walk with you even in the most wildest rain even! There is nothing better than knowing and believing that there is someone out there who would rather pick to leave this world than to leave you. And yes,there is nothing more painful to see to your love picking the rest of the world but just not you. There is nothing which can kill your soul than to see that a better career, life can be much more important than love of some one! There is nothing in this world which comes easy and so is true with love too! But what love is that which is not even strong enough to stand for itself and what beloved is that one which doesn’t even give importance to the thought of being his/her love! For some, nothing else but their own self matters more than anything and anyone else, even when that something includes emotions, affection and love even! Love is not something which would hurt anyone, its seeing your love walking away and that too like its nothing! That,that’s what it is which would hurt beyond the expressing power of any word! That’s what which would give the cries and pains!

I shall conclude by saying this only that don’t assume that tears are not just drops of water and cries are not just a sound. Its easy to die once with a bullet but its really hard to be dead yet be alive! Wounds of body may get healed by medicines but wounds over heart and soul are(can) not cured by anything! It takes years and some time, a whole life time to heal them! And its not every day that one does find some one who would love him/her truly and madly! Its always very easy to give tears, cries but it takes a lot to create one, just one moment of smile for someone! It takes nothing to walk away but it takes a lot of courage, guts to stand with your beloved! Do remember that even though tears may dry, those eyes would be still lonely. Even though there may be a smile over the face, heart may be having silent cries! If you love someone, or say this to someone, do extreme care that for someone , it may not be just words but everything over which he/she would create his/her entire world and there is nothing more hurting than seeing your own world getting crushed, destroyed by your own love!

Its not always that love would smile over you and there are many in this world who are still alone but what’s more painful, being alone or being left alone?  Not sure what the answer can or should be?



1. bb - February 18, 2010

hi Aman,

” what’s more painful, being alone or being left alone? ”

what can be said about this. alone in whatever tag that you have with it, surely won’t feel better at all. it’s just a slight different. when you’re being alone, it means that you are alone without other people’s involvement on it. when you are being “left” alone, it means that you are alone because of other people’s involvement and it will lead you for being alone anyhow at the end.

so in my end, nothing is better or even less painful for this, it will lead to the same word somehow, still alone.


Aman Sharma - March 2, 2010

No, its still different. Imagine one dies of his own death and one is killed, what’s more painful? Imagine one doesn’t eat for the whole day, thinking about dieting or just being lazy and on another hand, one is not given food , making him forcefully starve,what’s more painful? Yes, the end result in both the cases would be same,in the first one, death and in the 2nd, hunger, but the pain experienced in both the cases would be entirely different! And that’s what the point that I mentioned in the end, “being alone or being “left” alone” . Though the end comes out to be same ,there is still a huge difference in getting to that end in both the cases.


2. bb - March 8, 2010

hi Aman,

IMHO, you don’t seem to give the examples on the same side and balance. so yes, it will be a bit hard to make a comparison between the causes on each of these : alone, dead and hunger.

dead and hunger will directly lead to humanism, even ok i know where the explaination will be but it can’t be compared with the thing that you said in your post above.

and wondering here, what is your point of view for the question that you have made above ?

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