All About Aquarian Man….Again! August 31, 2008
Posted by Aman.... in Random Stuff.trackback
Few days back, I wrote a post about Aquarian Man which is me. I found that one quite near to be to my self. Today when I was sitting over my guest house manager’s desktop, I found some more informaion about Aquarian Man so thought will share with you all. Well I find this also quite near-to-be-true. If you know me, let me know how much its true about me. Have a read:
Hot-hearted man who likes to do thing his way. He can suddenly decide to do something without thinking of it’s outcome. He is the type of guy with an inside energizer, so if you fall in love with this type of guy be “patient”, even if you have to follow him a bit. His creative mind could create fantastic idea any time. If you do not understand or can not follow him, you won’t be with him for long. A man in this Zodiac will less likely to have a pale skin, and if he has a scar, it would be on his face or on his head. He moves very fast and very energetic, and he has a very self confident in himself. He is not the type to sit down and feel sorry or regret anything for long, especially with “Love”. He loves justice. He dares to show his opinion or even argue about certain subject even he knows it might bring him problems.
A straight forward type of guy. He hardly lies except if he think it is necessary and he is not a good liar anyway. He will not lie to you about serious matter, but if he lie he will lie only about a small little thing. He is gifted with the ability to be a very social person. He could talk even about subject that he has no knowledge of. He interests only at the present time and look at the world positively. Many times he feels hurt because of reality, but he will not run away and he will overcome that difficulty. Even he is a high and self confident type and center his own thought as a main focus, but at the same time he is a kind, cute and polite guy. He certainly is not a mean person. He likes to help people who are in troubles even he is not asked to. He is the type who feels sorry if you remember bad things he said to you that he had already forgotten,but you did not. Belief him that he is very sorry and give him another chance. Once he decides to do something, he will put all his mind and energy in it either in his “Work”, or “Love”. He is the type who gamble anything in the casino, so do not even think to take him there. He does not like pessimistic,low energy, and depress person, especially no brain. Strangely he like to overpowered this type of people to assure that he is more superior. He like to be the first person to do something. You can see sparkling in his eyes, once he meet a new target or new lover.
Once he is in love, he will act as if he never has love like this before. This minute he could be real sugar sweet, and later he could also be an icy cold,but do not blame him for that will only chase him away. He could fall in love again with another girl and act again like he never has this kind of love before.He could really love someone, but not a heart broken type for he thinks love is “excitement” and “Love goes on”. If you date this kind of guy, do not or avoid showing your face to him with face pack, face mask, always be presentable, nice and cute. If he is quiet not because he is shy, but he is only quietly thinking. If you have a chance to ask his X-girlfriend, she will tell you that he is not a shy or quiet type. If he is really and truly in love with you, he will never lie to you at all. How do you know if he loves you, bet on your faith! Love him and treat him steadily and do not try to find anything to argue with him, he will be with you for sure. If you are his lover or girlfriend and need to tell him something, go and say it out loud and straight forward because he hates long
boring story. He hate to play games, chasing for love or being chased, so let him call you first. He likes a confident woman who also a good follower. If he gets mad at you, let him be for only a short time he will be normal again. You have to like and be able to get along with his friends, but he does not have to do so with all your friends. Don’t ever think you could make him jealous by flirting with other man, he will just leave instead of making a scene because he is a confident man and has to be the first in everything. Don’t even try to cheat him because he never forgets anyone, both who were good and bad to him. If you think that you would cheat him and he will never come to know, you are mistaken, he would find it, doesn’t matter how hard you try to hide it and when he would do that, it would not be easy to convince him with any arguments.
boring story. He hate to play games, chasing for love or being chased, so let him call you first. He likes a confident woman who also a good follower. If he gets mad at you, let him be for only a short time he will be normal again. You have to like and be able to get along with his friends, but he does not have to do so with all your friends. Don’t ever think you could make him jealous by flirting with other man, he will just leave instead of making a scene because he is a confident man and has to be the first in everything. Don’t even try to cheat him because he never forgets anyone, both who were good and bad to him. If you think that you would cheat him and he will never come to know, you are mistaken, he would find it, doesn’t matter how hard you try to hide it and when he would do that, it would not be easy to convince him with any arguments.
So is it true?
Aman's Blog....ANYTHING goes here! 
yea its true . im aquarius and thats exactly me
Hi, I don’t know if I would get any reply back but I am falling in love with an aquarius man and I would like some help to win his heart plelase?
If you have to try to hun it is not worth the heart break!!!!
Yes I think most of it is true. Just don’t forget that they can lie through their teeth and still smile at the same time. I know from personal experience. He can be generous at times and loving but also has many friends that you must befriend yourself. Aquarians can be very flirtatious as well in a subconscious manner.
maan! why do they all have scars on there head? lol strange.. but no this is all very true… this is why i fell deeply in love with my ex bf… and i still to this day think about him
Aquarius Men…hmmph. Full of **** and they don’t care anything about you when their ass is on the hot seat. They quietly move to the next.
i maybe a woman but i do say most of what u wrote had n me…and some sort i realized “oh is that what really an aquarian is…lovely!!! i think they have the very awsome personalities above all…hehehe….love reading ur blog.
Jouneijin,
Thanks for the kind words about the blog. I guess, there are some unique attributes which are there for Aqua Woman but in general, Aquarians would be same! 🙂
Aman….
I am been seeing this aqua man for almost 5 years and this zodiac drive me insane! You dont know what The F*** they want!
Hahaha so true…. even I’m dating an aqua man for 5 yrs now and still I don’t have any f***ing idea what does he want!! He drives me crazy almost everyday… Once he’ll be a sweetheart, will talk d sweetest things in the world to me then suddenly he is nowhere to be found.. he won’t call, he won’t text, if I text then he won’t reply n this makes me go insane , I feel like abundant n wen i m going to give up on him then aftr a few weeks or months he’ll show up as if nothing happened ever.. I don’t where this relationship will go.. his oblivion state scares me to the hell if I ask hum about it he frantically answers that he was busy! I feel like banging my head to d wall coz I wasted my time thinking tht he must be cheating on me or he has lost interest in me or this or that n in the end I got hear that he ws merely “BUSY” 😒😒
They hate emotional displays. Older Aquarius men don’t know what they want. After they declare their love to you, they treat you as if they don’t care for you at all. It is their charm and charisma and wonderful wit that keeps you wanting more. They reel you in with their sense of humor and their intelligence, but will suddenly pull a disappearing act on you. It truly confuses them if you are upset at them ignoring you. Even when I try to tell myself that I will not put up with him any more, I realize that I have never loved anyone like this, and know that I will never forget him for as long as I live…so I try to be patient and hope for the best. God help me.
My man is a Aquaruis and lm a Sagittaruis and we been for a long time now. And it can get frustrating but u hve to be patient they will come to u Good luck.
Aquaruis men are loving and kind. When u need help they will sometimes. But they also can be distant and icy cold towards you. I wish you luck with a Aquaruis man.
Aquaruis men are liars cheaters and they r ful of sh***t don.t believe them u better run n dont look bck. Peace.
You nailed it because they certainly are the most cold-hearted liars and cheaters on the planet. Mine had me completely blindsighted by his fake mr nice and polite guy for many years until I discovered by shear accident that he had been seeing prostitutes for years. Just wish I wouldn’t have waisted the best years of my life with that creep with no conscience.
i dated an aquarius BRIEFLY! He was great in the sack..but lacked in every other area. He professed his love for me..said he wanted to marry me someday..and 24 hours later..he TEXTED this “i can’t BS you any longer…i feel no chemistry with you and just want to be friends” the day before we were having hot sex all day long..oh did i mention that i traveled 3000 miles AGAIN to see him.. just hours after i returned home from my flight..that’s the text i got. so i sent him the things he had left at my house UPS..not even a note was put in the box..just his things..in tact. and he went on FB and claimed i was stalking him… that’s the thanks i got for returning his SHIT. it really pissed me off… so i texted him ( he was too cowardly to actually answer his phone and talk like a man) i really let him have it..called it like i saw it! a lying, cheating, piece of shit. oh..and when i was at his place..at like 930 at night..someone was knocking on his window..and he wouldnt get up to see who it was (dah…a girl of course) this guy is 36 years old and acts like a 15 year old… i’ll never get involved with another Aqua man. wish i had all the money back i spent to fly us back and forth…. BROKEASS,JERK!
I met an aquarius guy at a close friends house, he is very energetic and intellectual type, when we first met and my friend introduced each other, I thought he was really cute. Eventually a week later I went with my friend to a birthday party where the guy I liked also went. We said hello but he was a little shy and he just kept looking at me and looking away, so I thought everything was going well…. Then he came close to me and I started the conversation, so we kept on talking, he was telling me about his trips, he pulled of his phone and started showing me pictures he was surprisingly very confident and a nice guy so I suggested going to the living room where all people around us left… (it was pretty clear everyone tried to help) we sat at the couch and watch tv, talked about our career plans and finally he pulled of his phone again and told me to add me on his facebook… well I added myself and a day or two later accepted him, when I left he hugged me, he smiled a lot and blush I thought it was really cute….. but ever since (a month maybe) he hasn’t text back, our mutual friends had tried to set up dates but for some reason we cant see each other, he hasnt said a word, even though his friends pick on him. I messaged him on facebook and he didn’t seemed to actually care I don’t have many pictures of myself and he has more than 2000 friends so Im guessing he doesnt recognize me… Anyway, I didn’t said I was the girl from that night but, I don’t understand why he didn’t txt me back if he seemed to like me, now I don’t even now…. I wasn’t looking for a relationship untill I met him and thought maybe he could be a good candidate, but now I don’t know what to think or do
aqua men rocks !!
I think like with any other sign it’s case specific however i noticed a few inherit traits only aquairis men have. They are not judgmental and
live in a fantasy land. They tend to as do other signs whom are male, justify and moralize their own ways ie. cheating/fliriting heavily etc. and don’t admit they ‘omitted’ this part of the story to save face. They usually just justify it by saying, ‘why rock the boat, it’s not an important detail?’ On the flip side, the aquarius I was with was amazingly compasionate, made me feel like the luckiest women on the planet, and basically had all the traits you could ever want in a man. However, he is taken now but he did teach me how to love without judgement and with my WHOLE heart. I think overall my aquarius experience as previously mentioned is that you need to be pateient and don’t expect the ‘norm’ from this sign.
i have been patient for 6 months i do not seem to be getting any closer or further with him not sure what he wants if i ask what he wants i get ignored or he will say he is stressed from working… i cant ever get a direct reponse about anything ever
IM dating an aquarius man i think and i mean i think b/cuz i cant get a confirmation on what is really goin on with us…are we just sleeping together or is there something there. I mean after 6 months of confusion some days he calls or text the next few days he completely ignores me or never calls or text at all. I cant have a converstion with him unless its something he is talking about if i bring up something he just goes silent like im talking to a wall
somtimes my aqua man will say goodnight honey through text late at night after i have not called or text him all day .. in the beginning he use to text me an say have a good day or good morning now he never text or calls hardly ever unless its later in the evening if even at all……. its seems everytime i get mad an tell him im done with the wierd shit he does not care or respond an i leave him alone and after a few days he will call me like nothing has ever happened… he wont talk about anything serious he ignores it but then will say what are u doing today and then when i say nothing or hanging at the house he wont text back… like wtf was the point an asking me?? are u trying to see me or not
I am in the beginnings of a relationship (1 month in) …It will be Aqua to Aqua….same birth year…So far we are having a ball…talk about everything and anything…..I let him lead and he lets me lead…..that was the agreement….both knowing the other has control issues. So many things alike, it is over whelming at times…..From a female Aqua let me say, the issues are the same…….Should we “allow” our selves to actually “fall in love” and not merely “love” it removes the control factor, of self protection of our hearts….it places us in a position of possible hurt. We don’t want to be hurt (we would rather hurt ourselves by walking away). We don’t intend to hurt anyone, when we do, we feel bad aboout it, possibly for years…so we distance…disconnect. We tend to commit without commitment. I have been told “You will never fall in love because you love yourself more than anyone else could.” That is not true…..Self love is not what it is about with us…..we care deeply for others….just distance ourselves, because others may indeed not love us as as deeply as we would actually love them, if we allowed ourselves the option.
In dealing with Aqua to Aqua I already know there will be issues…I can read him and he can read me. Both of us flirts….I trust myself to NOT take flirting too far, outside of the relationship…I, on the other hand, am not willing to believe fully, he would not step out of bounds. See turst and control…I trust me. I am standing guard of self.
Ah but what do you do when you know they care, you have a great time when you get to see them. He tells you he loves you (for the first time) Then I dont hear a word from him for weeks. Im tired of always getting in touch first and he doesn’t seem to care at all. I have never been more confused!! Where do I go from here??
Hey there…….he said he loves you….he scared himself! Let him be………The thrill is in the chase….let him come after you……Leave him a message….state you are going out with friends…talk to him later……leave it in his ball park. After that, DO NOT contact him, breathe deep and wait……if he truly does love you as he said he did, you will hear from him….I also suggest when he does call you….let it go to voice mail and do not repond until later the next day…….MAKE sure…YOU actually DO GO OUT WITH “FRIENDS”…Aqua’s hate lies. Also, the “friends” don’t need to know why you are all going out…..just that you are going out…if he finds out it was planned, as an attempt to get his attention, that will a falsehood and he won’t ever trust you agin……CAUTION …truly…..Aqua’s will/do find out stuff so ONLY “YOU” need to know your plans and YOUR reasons…….
Really no matter if someone doesn’t be aware of then its up to other users that they will help, so here it happens.
What?????? #18…have no idea what you said/meant!!!! If you are wanting input….I would think anyone on this blog would be willing to help…….maybe the guy that started this site fell off the face of the earth…..who knows…but I think it is kinda nice to be able to state position and vent if needed….maybe get someone elses thoughts on the matter. Aquarius is not easy!!!! Either being one or dating one!!!!
Aqua to Aqua,
I am also an Aqua dating an Aqua and everything you’ve expressed about our sign is true…We are such an unpredictable individuals that it can be challenging for others to quite comprehend our character. But we are extremely fun, interesting and intelligent beings….We are loved by many and have many associates but very few are in our immediate circle of friends. Aqua’s are very selective when it comes to letting others in our private/personal lives until you’ve proven to be trustworthy…. In addition, we diffidently can’t stand clingy individuals and we guard our space with fierce. We tend to run from those with self esteem and confidence issues….Lots of prayer for all those dating both Aqua’s….
Lisa,
You have added another level to the Aqua personality. People (other signs) reading this will think we are all about ourselves……we truly are not. Different, yes we are. We can commit, without commentment. This time around, I am hoping, I can finally have self commitment, with my Aqua partner. There is the nagging thought of giving such power to someone, and knowing he can possibly destroy my heart. Then there is the other Aqua side that says, “It will only happen once”. Then I can erase it, as merely a dent. Of course, that actually means, I will burry any possible future commitments within myself, and run like hell, when/if dangers of the heart ever threaten again. For Aqua…(for me anyway) .this commitment thing is a “Once in a Life Time” event. I may re-vist it in my mind but not ever again in my physical being. For now, all is well.
I would like to add afew things about Aqua people I have been told many times. #1 An Aquarius has a magnet attached to them, people are drawn to them. It is not something we ever do intentionally, it just happens. #2 An Aquarius can/will talk alot, yet say nothing, at that moment you feel we have told you everything, but we have not told you much at all. Typically others are content with that, and we know it. It is the Aqua’s dance. #3 We always say “I know”. It is an automatic statement for us, because we usually do know. #4 Aquarians need too much space. No we don’t, but we need enough to breathe on our own. Given too much space we will loose ourselves. It is knowing our own limitations and allowing us to define them both for our partner and our selves.. #5 Defination of Aquarius: To know you is to love you……to love you is to truly know unconditional.
Lisa, I wish you luck, as you did the rest of us, with your Aqua/Aqua relationship……I think “IF” both Aqua’s would just turn loose of the wheel at the same time, it would be a lifetime of wonders.
Hi Aqua to Aqua, thank you for your input above. You were right I didnt contact him at all and he ended up turning up at my house to see where I had been.
The problem I have is why do Aquas waste soooo much time thinking etc.. when they could be going out/getting to know us better. This has been going on for over two years now, and I still dont know whats going on in his head!
He is so nice when we do get together but its such hard work getting together often enough.
Its like having something going with a “Rubiks cube”. I love him like I never have before I just wish he would give me a bit more of a clue sometimes.
Hey there……Happy Thanksgiving by the way!! Yep, Aquas waste way too much time….we need to reason/think everything out…..then we forget what it was, we needed to reason/think about……As I said before, we are complex, much deeper thinkers than we are given credit for……because we have fun being us….trying to pleasing everyone around us (unless you have offened us in someway, then we will say the word forgiven, but don’t think for a minute forgetting, will ever happen) ..trust me, it has nothing to do with missing you……it is interaction with others around us. We try to help others, be everything to everyone and it truly takes a toll on us, both emotionally and physically. Sometimes we just need down time. We can’t rule a world or make it better without space. If we love you, you don’t ever leave our minds. We may file you away till tomorrow, but forget you, not going to happen.
i am so happy he has turned up on your doorstep again. But please don’t fall back into your easy, reachable self. You said, “it is hard work, getting together often enough…….” Indeed it is!! Is it hard for you to get him, or hard for him to get you, to do something…..you know where I am going with this…..IT IS and WILL ALWAYS be the CHASE. Even after he catches you (or you him…LOL) there must be a chase. You have to learn the fine art of equalizing your relationship. It is passive, agressive in some ways……you need to challenge his mind, his being, his very core. I am not going to tell you to be one step ahead of him, that is virtually impossible. (You should be one and date one if you really want a challenge!!…LMAO…not easy!). You need to appear, in all ways equal to him….wit, knowledge, humanitarian, humble, eager to learn, have a love of self and love for others…no matter their issues or culture. NONE of this, can you fake and come out having a true lasting relationship with this man. He will know you are faking and you will grow tired of trying…..be you only better. You have had two years with him…..if you want more, you cannot settle for once in a while….that is you, being too easy for him……please don’t tell him you love him until he says it to you…..then don’t repeat it until next time “HE” brings it up. You have to do that for awhile, remember even in love, it is his idea. When he does tell you he loves you…don’t say, “I love you too”…..say “AND I love you…” that’s enough, say it with complete calm. Do not gush or get mushy.
Let me know how you are doing….just stay steady…no one said it would be easy……My Aqua to Aqua is going very well so far……but I am waiting for the bumps, I know they will happen. Love is at the very least ODD with an Aquarius…one final thing…He does give you clues, YOU must learn how to read them, without reading too much or too little into them. Follow your heart, but let your gut lead you…..
I don’t do the contacting first anymore, I admit it was me 70% of the time in the begining but found it better to back off and wait for him!
The settleing for once in a while is the problem. Should I speak up about it and tell him it’s not good enough after all this time?? I’m really stuck on this one! How do I get him to step it up. The way I see it “if he wanted to he would”.
I don’t mind him being hard work as that’s who he is and I would never want to change him. I always worry that after I have gone home etc….. that it’s an out of sight out of mind thing.
We have long conversations, have a laugh, we are on the same page about most things. It just doesn’t happen often enough for me (I see him once a week) or so.
Yes he does do the little things! It can be something I said weeks ago (I like this or that) and then when I see him he has done it for me.
I haven’t spoken to him for a week now and I really miss him, but I’m not going to be the one doing the asking.
If he tells me he loves me again I will reply as you said. I think it might be some time before I hear it again though. He seemed shocked himself when he told me! haha.
I’m glad you are doing well with your Aqua, I guess it helps being one yourself. Sounds a bit like your waiting for something negative to happen though. If your seeing him more often than I see mine I would say thats a great start.
All the best and thank you for your input.
Up date for you! I sent him a text today, only with some good news I had. Guess what? I received a big fat NOTHING back. Think it’s high time I forgot the whole thing. I would rather know I’m not going to see/hear from him, than not know if or when I am. If you know what I mean?
It’s like a guessing game with him all the time but at the end of the day I can’t get blood out of a stone can I? Shame as we could have been so good together if only he could have let me in a bit more.
Going to delete his number etc and just try and put it to the back of my mind.
We were both happy the last time I saw him so it’s nothing that was said or done. I just can’t keep trying to work out what’s going on with him all the time.
If you have any input on this I would love to hear from you please. I really don’t know what else to do. Thank you.
I hope you read this soon as I’m in a massive tail spin!!!
Just for the record, do NOT mention things which are un-related to this post i.e. spell man/woman etc etc. I have deleted two comments saying such things just now and next time, any such comment(s) would be just silently deleted.
Aman….
Aman, I am sorry….I truly do not understand what was said, that was wrong, and thereby deleted. If you would, please be so kind as to explain it better, so that I don’t repeat the same mistake, I would be thankful……Everything I have said I believe to be related to this post. Aqua to Aqua
Hi there,
Nothing that you said was wrong but there was a comment, from someone else, where that person was talking about some “spells” and such kind of rubbish. That post only I deleted. Don’t worry, you are doing just fine and just for the record, I do read all of your posted comments 🙂 .
Need Aqua,
You had it for a minute…..but then let it slip with a text to him. I am sure he will repond to it soon. From what you have said, he doesn’t forget what you have told him, he is just very slow in reponding. You realize you are still waiting on him…..I am sure he knows that, so he is in no hurry.
In your last post, it sounds like you have given up…or at least wish you could give up. Two years is a long time to dedicate to someone and then give up over a text not being answered. Let me ask you this…do you love him or is it also a chase for you??? You mentioned he is very dedicated to his work. Do you understand his job? It is important that you do, as that is a much needed conversation piece for him…but again you can’t be nosey about it! It really isn’t fair, because you can’t be nosey about anything….you must learn what is important to him by listening to him and hearing everything he says…not just think you heard what he said, but really listen. You are too busy trying to get into his mind and figure out how he ticks to actually just enjoy being with him and learning him. Relax…just relax.
I don’t know what to tell you about seeing him more often….I have the same issue with mine. We are on a once a week schedule…not nearly enough to make me happy (even though I enjoy my “me” time). We have a 50 mile distance between us, so there is an issue. You are right, I am expecting issues in this relationship…and they have begun……first bump happened this morning, I got an email, not a phone call…..the email was very illusive and I am now waiting for the call he promised to make to me tonight. Something is up and I am clueless…but I will wait. The email was odd in it’s wording and it felt funny (how do you feel an email??? Be an Aquarius and you will just know). I will let you know what’s up with mine…but I know it is something and pretty sure it isn’t good…..I am, however, ready with a response to anything and everything he can tell me. We have not had any bad issue, in our relationship, prior to this…”that is my comment just for the record.”
I feel a need to tell you again this is not easy……I fully understand that you would rather cut your losses than to wait on him, and maybe loose in the end. That my dear is your ego talking. Once the heart is involved it is hard to turn it around. Will you be able to get over him?…I am sure,…..Will you forget him?…not ever, and that is not just because he is an Aqua.
I know totally what you mean about me giving up on him “I really dont want to”. Yes I love him like I have never loved before, he is fun, he tells me about the things he has going on. We always have a great time when together.
I only sent the text as it was about good news he knew I had been waiting for. I thought he would be pleased to know the news.
Yes they do leave you clueless and doing it by email is a bit odd. He is leaving you waiting for answers, when you didnt even know there was a question. They so like to keep you guessing, dont they?? It might be that his phone needed charging or something. I hope he rings you and puts your mind at rest. Please let me know how it goes.
I think maybe they panic after they have seen you, and had a good evening. It’s as if they don’t know what to do next, so they end up either saying nothing or saying something that is kind of mean.
I am back to the no contacting him again, and yes I have deleted his number. That way there is no way of me cracking and texting anyway. Two years is a long time, and it hurts me when he is still being like this after all this time. No I dont want to give up on him. I dont mind when he has his down time (thinking etc…) but I thought no reply to that was rude!!!
Is it true that if they no longer want to see you they will tell you?? Or do they just walk away without saying anything? That question is always at the back of my mind. I try to think over the last time I saw him, he’s always the one that says “next time we’ll do this”. Meaning all is well and there will be a next time. Then I don’t even get a text for two weeks.
I hope you have good news to tell me about your man, the next time your on here. Come to that I hope I have too.
Well here I am again…the day after, the day I knew we hit a bump….l was correct…..the bump however is with his business affairs….and assorted family issues which are out of state. But everything rolls down hill and I am going to be in the path. I feel it. There are some heavy issues and he is caught up in all of it, to one extent or another. All plans we have made are now on hold…..nasty time for all of this during the holidays, but it is what it is. “IF” I allow my true Aqua nature to rule me right now…..I will pretty much accept what he has said, adjust to his requests, keeping in mind, he does have mounting issues on his plate, but I will be pondering the whole thing. Picking it apart piece by piece…..Aquas have a need for immediate resolution, unless it is them providing someone with their own resolution. The Aqua to Aqua kicker!
Talking in circles…..yes we do, and no we don’t. We mean what we say and will take it to the death…….but if we can avoid saying it, “all the better”…..for us anyway. Yes, after seeing you and everything going great, there is an ease and comfort there for us, so we relax and ride it out….till next time. I honestly don’t know when, “IF” commitment ever takes place…it is just a given thing, somewhere in our minds and evolves from there. Hang in there kiddo……
This post is short, I have place’s to go and people to aggrivate….not really..ha ha….just Christmas shopping……….
Oh, and thank you Aman…..for clearing the issue up for me…!! Any time you want to jump in here with a Aqua man’s view point, on any of this, I am sure we would all love to hear it!!! I know I would!
Oh no I am sorry to hear that. It’s not easy when all is going great then wham!!! something happens out of the blue like that. Think you should hang in there too, it’s only been put on hold for a while by the sound of it! I hope you get to see him sometime during the holidays.
I haven’t heard anything from mine yet but I hope he gets in touch soon. Mean time I am keeping busy with other things. Friends, family, work and the Christmas shopping also. I love this time of the year but would love it even more if I know he wants to be part of it.
After reading all your comments re Aquas, I think maybe I have read too much into him not being in touch as much as I would like. Doesn’t mean he is not thinking about me does it?
Im happy to just go with the flow as long as I know he still wants this. Thats why I asked you about do they tell you when they have had enough or do they just walk away without telling you.
I get confused with the mixed messages at times. First he tells me he loves me then he’s gone the next. Looks like we both will have to wait and see.
Yes Aman I too would love your input on this subject. You might be able to give us a read on what’s going on with our men. Thank you
Hey there………it has been a long Aqua week for me….but I used my own advice and just sat back and waited……working perfectly….He will be here with me tomorrow and stay through Monday. Said he couldn’t take it any longer and that most women would be holding on to his ankles and trying to get him to pay more attention. Guess not Mr Aqua……I know the game and how it is played. For the record, he did and does have pressing problems out of state, but the problem he created by putting “us” on hold seems to out weigh the others. I haven’t won yet……so I really am not cockie about this, however, I am smiling. What did I do? I just allowed him to be him….no questions, slight disappointment shown. He opened up about all of it and I let him talk. I was there for him. Not smothering and asking extra questions.
I am glad you are keeping busy with other interests. Keep up the good work. You are correct, just because you don’t hear from him doesn’t mean you are not in his thoughts. When he does reach out to you again…don’t be overly anxious or thrilled…..don’t be cold either……you have to find your own level. You aske do they just walk away or do they let you know it is over……male Aqua I am clueless but based on myself….I have done both. It is going to depend on the feelings they have for you and the length of the relationship. Sometimes I just let it slide, hoping they would find someone else, that way I didn’t have to be the one delivering the blow, that it was done. Hate to hurt feelings. I WISH i COULD TELL YOU MORE!!
Oh Im so pleased for you!!! I have been trying to do the same as you for over two years now (keep cool and let him come to me) with the odd laps here and there :).
Back in September he did try and step it up with me. I was seeing him a bit more often etc… But it seems after that and him telling me he loved me, it all seems to have gone wrong from there.
I still haven’t seen or heard from him, thats why I think maybe he may have just walked away in the hope I get the message. I do know he cares a lot about me, by the way he is when we are together. It will all come out in the wash at some point I guess.
I hope you have a great weekend with your man, Im so happy for you!!
Well…we had alot of fun! It brought us closer…..maybe closer than he or me is ready for……He siad he is “Crazy about me”…you could see the shocked look on his face, made his eyes almost dark and very intense. I told him I “am nuts about him”….my knees almost buckled and I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. That was on Sunday……he left about 11 am on Monday morning……since that time, he and I have bickered back and forth. Picking on each other. We have stayed in constant contact, but there is a strain, I can feel it and I know he can feel it. Our voices are even tense. What was light and airy, with us teasing each other..is now strained. It is like there is a question but neither of us are willing to ask what it is. I believe we are now both scared of each other, knowing the other one can cause damage, and not knowing “IF” one of us will turn and run. Conflict…..concern…not good state to be in! It was he, who said he “believes we are both on the same page with emotions and feelings.” I agreed…..so what does that mean??? I should have asked him to explain exactly what that comment means, instead of just agreeing with it, thinking I could figure it out later….MY error!!! .I am over thinking this and need to stop! It is what it is, and that is all that it is.
He will be here again this weekend. I don’t know if I should laugh and be excited or just sit down and cry! Today our conversations have been easier with each other, but it has taken three, almost four days to get back to this point. After reading what I have written (and I do thank you for listening…sometimes just to see it in print helps), I have decided…it /he is worth the time and effort. I will take a deep breath and just follow the path, where ever it leads. If there is hurt at the end of it, I will deal with it then. I know if I run now, the hurt is a sure thing for me, so weighing the odds….later may not end in hurt. I need to wait it out……..I wlii keep you posted…any words of wisdom???
Hi, it all sounds pretty fantastic to me!! You can’t even think about running now. Life brings people together for a reason and you have to wait and see what that reason is. Good or bad you have to go with the flow, other wise he will always be a “what if”??
I’m glad you talked about the eye contact thing, mine did that to me. He came really close to me looked right into my eyes, looking right to left really fast. It scared me to be honest. He didn’t say anything when he did it, so I had no idea what it meant. With you saying that about your man, I hope it meant something good??
Him saying you were on the same page is only him saying you both have the same feelings for each other but neither of you will be gushing about it. All in all it sounds to be going great, I wish I could say the same thing about mine. I have still not heard anything from him and I’m very sad about it. I would rather be told to go away than not be told anything at all!!
Go with the flow and see what happens. He might be the one! If you don’t take that risk you will never know. We can all get hurt in life and there is no way of stopping it…. even if you walked away now you would still hurt. Take the risk with him, you could end up a happy ever after. Who knows.
I wanted to let you know how much I value your comments…For not being an Aqua….you hold your own very well!! Thank you for being on here!
Since you brought up the eye contact thing, I am going to suggest something….if he looked at you like that, he was searching your soul for emotions and truth, both in you and for himself. I believe he was processing you in his thoughts. With that in mind……if you can do this with simplicity and with total calm…..I think, sometime next week, between the 19th and 22nd (just throwing dates, but it needs to be well before Christmas), it would be a good idea to leave him a voice message on the phone, simply saying, “Hi, it’s me. I just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas and let you know you are in my thoughts today.” Nothing more, nothing less. You have been very good with controll so don’t slip and loose it now. Short and simple. It is like a reminder to him, but you are NOT thinking about him all the time, JUST that day and Christmas is the reason. We will see what he does. Then you must go back to waiting. PLEASE let me know when you have done it! I am so hoping this works for you, if not, he is missing out on a very special lady!
Mine came up on Saturday morning and stayed until I had to go to work on Sunday afternoon. It was great. We cooked, actually he did the cooking, then we both cleaned up the kitchen. Instead of going out like we usually do, we rented old movies. It was alot of fun. Lots of talk. New level, he is wanting us to spend more time together. I have to say, the comfort between us was much better, and we didn’t come away with the feeling of being in an emotional combat zone, like last week. Last week was both of us filing/fitting emotions in order. Keeping it light but learning where/how we might fit into each others lives. Boy, that was a long week! We are now going into our 5th month together. It is a fine line here….nothing can stay the same yet nothing can change drastically either. Knowing the old, feeling good about it, but looking forward to the new experiences. Modified chase, but not ever conquest!
Thank you for your input, I will try that. I love him with all my heart and im sure he knows that. He has been very busy with other things but it takes no time at all to send a message and he hasn’t done that.
I really am losing hope and just when it was all going so good, I really don’t understand.
I haven’t contacted him at all but it doesn’t mean I’m not heart broken! I can handle anything if I’m told the truth (good or bad) and he knows this. So why can’t he just tell me either way. Don’t I at least deserve that much after all this time???
I’m not a needy person, I stand on my own two feet, have my own house etc….. all I hoped for is a relationship with love in it and I was so sure we were getting there. It took him two years to say he loved me, now we are in this limbo type situation.
If you have any further advice I would love to hear it.
I am so happy for you, seems like him trying to back off from you might have been a test to see how you would react.
Up date for you, hope you can tell me what you think of this!! I received a text from him about ten mins ago saying he just wants to be friends and thats all it can ever be. I haven’t sent a reply to that as I don’t know what to say.
Thing is I’m not upset by the text as I really don’t think he is telling the truth. I get the feeling he wants me to be all upset and asking him to re think things. (he has done things like this before) just to see how I would react.
Its like he is testing me but I don’t know the best way to reply to this, if anything. If you could shed some light on my best way forward it would be helpful.
He has never straight out said that to me before, and why would he say it after saying he loved me?? He is really messing with my head now. Should I play cool like you did and see what happens??
I thought we were getting somewhere bit by bit, now I’m totally lost.
HELP!!!!!
Hi, I have NEVER posted on a blog before, but reading your comments have really led me to feel that you are very helpful with Aqua men! I basically just need some advice to make sure I am going about this properly..
First off, let me fill you in on a little background info: I am a Libra woman. I met my aqua in october of last year in a college class we had together. Finding him attractive, i approached him, and we ended up exchanging numbers.Long story short, we had a great connection, but I had no information about his sign. As a result, I went about the friendship totally wrong (nagging, clinging, the whole 9..im surprised he put up with me lol). We went on a couple of dates and he was a COMPLETE gentleman. He was the FIRST man to ever open a car door for me! (this was when i felt like he was the one). Well his bday was coming up and i got pissed bc he stood me up for the plans i had for him and basically sent him a farewell txt. We stopped talking for 4 months, and during that time, I tried rly hard to stop thinking about him but i couldnt..
Finally, I gave in and emailed him (i didnt have his # any longer). Except this time, I had done all my “Aquaman” research and knew how to treat the situation. I decided to be myself and quit trying to get him to fall for me..I realized if he likes me it will be because he likes the REAL me. Things are great now..we txt all the time, and he spent the night with me after a week of contact (he stays an hr away). He couldnt keep his hands off of me, kissing me and holding me telling me he was soooo happy i emailed him. He begged me to shower with him (there was no sex involved, we just tlkd) and ended up sipping wine and talking into the night. We finally ended up having sex for the first time and Im sooo happy i made him wait all those months bc he really enjoyed himself ! =) That night he kept getting out of bed periodically to use the bathroom and when he would return to bed he would kiss my shoulder =) He had to leave early in the am and I didnt complain, I just thanked him for coming and told him I had a good time. He is still aloof at times and still ignores my txts every now and then (ughhh) but i never nag him about it i just go on with my life…there was a point in time when i didnt hear from him for 2 and a half wks until i finally caved and logically explained how rude it is to blatantly ignore me..he ended up responding the next night claiming he had been out of the country for 2 weeks..I didnt ask any questions, i just accepted his apology and asked him how his trip was. Lately he has been talking to me so differently in txt. Hes always telling me he cant wait to see me, and how beautiful i am, and the other day, he said “man they rly dont make ppl like you anymore” =)) i was soo surprised ! definitely felt good to hear that from him. And hes also transitioned from “baby girl” to “baby” when he txts me..not so sure if that has any meaning ? But the other day i txtd him and he didnt reply..i hate when he does that bc I dont know how to handle the situation.
Also, I wanted to add that Im not in love with him, nor do i feel that i love him. I just rly like him and have a STRONG feeling that we may end up together..i just feel that he is the definition of a real man.. I think i obsess over the “idea” of us being together, but i rly dont mind how things are for now, bc i dont feel like hes going anywhere honestly. Can you plz interpret his actions ? And should I act like it doesnt bother me when he ignores my txts or should I address it the next time he makes contact? I just want to make sure Im doing this right !!
Hi Libra,
Sounds like the typical stuff that an Aqua would do. I was so head over heels for mine, but besides being an aqua I think he has mental issues (seriously). One min he ignores me, the next he adores me, then he tells me we have nothing in common and he only wants to be friends, then he doesn’t want to be friends…and so on and so forth. My conclusion they like to play games and if you don’t mind that and being taken for a ride, if you think he is worth it then strap on your seat belt and hold on!!!
They are awesome, and intriguing, gentlemen, all the stuff a man is supposed to be. I have found, well in my case, more talk than action. Get used to him making plans and either canceling, or just not showing up. Yes, he will go away and just when you think “oh well, it’s over I guess” he will pop back up again like nothing happened and it was just a few hours ago that you seen/talked to him.
Honestly, for me being an Aries, it was just too much for me. I had to let him go. It wasn’t easy, but it had to be done for my sanity because all the games were too much. Of course he came crawling back, but I AM DONE!!! If someone likes you vise versa, I feel you shouldn’t have to calculate every step and next move. Guess if you are doing something wrong, or what to do next. Shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells or tip toe around so that you don’t run them away/offend them etc. You shouldn’t be ignored or disappeared on and all that other mess they do. Trying to hide your emotions/feelings…not for me.
Everyone reaches their own breaking point, and again if you really like this guy and feel he is worth it go for it, just proceed with caution. Good luck!
Hey there……did you text or call him first????? Or was it just out of the blue??? If you respond, do it very simple terms……(I am so sorry I did not go on this web site last night, I feel like I let you down!!!).
I would just respond with……”I had been wondering what you have been up to……from what you wrote in your text, I can only think that you have met someone and have great interest in her. Because of my feelings for you, I have always held hope that someday I could be that lucky girl. Now, that you have made it clear to me, friendship is all we can ever have together, I want to make it clear to you, that I would cherish a friendship with you. So for now I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas and hope the new year brings us together as friends.” Something like that……so he knows the line of communication is open, you aren’t bent over his statement and all is well in your world. If he has done this before, then yes, I would say he is jerking your string to see your response. You have two years invested in this relationship….Remember, mine did it and it didn’t work well for him…..he is pretty much eating those words now. You MUST stay cool…..period. I don’t know how this played out for you and your responses before, but this time you just hold your own. Chase….baby…chase…HE needs to, NOT YOU……if there is no one else, you may still have a chance.
Let me know…..I am concerned about you…….PLEASE hold your own no matter which way this goes.
Aman, if you feel I am directing her incorrectly, please add something to help her.
This came out of the blue, I didn’t text at all. In the past when he has done things like this, I just kind of passed it back to him ie… If thats what you want then I will respect that kind of reply.
I have heard from him since, seen as I haven’t sent a reply to his text. He hates the no reply thing but never has a problem doing it to me. He has sent two more texts and been to my house (I didn’t answer the door). I’m about to just give in!! I couldn’t be his friend at the moment anyway. I would hurt too much. I’m so tired of the ball always being in his court. Him being so nice, then backing off.
I have decided not to reply to his texts, it seems to be doing him good that I’m not responding like he hoped. I love him but I really don’t need him at this point. When we are together its fantastic but then he just flips and does things like this. I have lost count of how many times this has happened in the past. A relationship shouln’t be like this after all this time, it’s as if he doesn’t know what he wants.
Doing this to me just before Christmas STINKS so I think it’s best for me to just back off and let him stew for a while. I don’t even know if I want someone who can treat me like this over and over again.
This has all started happening again after he started talking about a FUTURE for us. It’s like he talkes his self out of it but doesn’t bother to tell me. Oh well what ever will be will be. If only he knew how close to throwing in the towel I am, I really don’t need this from someone who calls himself an adult!!!!
I didn’t realize how and “how many” times he has done this….I thought it was only once or twice,,,,,,I am sorry……No one should go through what you are with him!! I can tell in your writing you are stressed and hurting. It is time for him to grow up and as you say, “be an adult”. It does sound like he cares very much and it does sound like he is constantly trying to talk himself out of it. You have to make a stand or you are in for a rollercoaster ride the rest of your life. There is NO MAN alive (even an Aqua) that is worth this torture. Just to remind you here….HE is all about the chase…..100%. This has come about after a month of not seeing you…now he is wondering what YOU are doing and who you might be doing it with. I don’t mean to be mean with this statement, but it may be because he knows what he is/has/may be doing and WHO he has/is/may have done it with……We don’t typically get jealous, unless WE have done something or are thinking about doing something, and feel that what we have done/may do can come back (KARMA) and bite us in the butt, with those we care about. It is a guilt thing. I could be totally off on this. Please keep in mind….sex is NOT what drives us…either it is good or bad and we can have it or not have it…..but there are certain people we would rather have it with and SOMETIMES it is because we care about that person…I hope that fit correctly in what I said…LOL
That being said…..if you truly love him (and I believe you do)…don’t wait too long to contact him, especially since he is try so hard to reach you….HOWEVER don’t fall into bed with him….don’t be too aloof and uncaring…….Be YOU with “the new approach” to his short comings.
Thank you so much for taking time out to help me with my situation. I’m so pleased you were on here at the right moment, as I don’t know what I would have done.
He has rung me again only this time I answered it. Big things have been happening to him that I had no idea about!! He has a child with his ex, he has always been a good dad, spending lots of time with the child etc…. only now his ex has walked away leaving him a full time dad. He shut himself off from me because he was just trying to sort things out. He said he didn’t even mean to do it and had no idea how long it had been since he saw me.
I don’t think (and never did) that he has been seeing someone else. That thought never crossed my mind. He said he still wants to be with me but doesn’t know how he will have the time.
Why he couldn’t have told me this I have no idea. I hade a long talk and told him I am here for him but the lack of communication has to stop!! If you have something to say say it… type of thing.
I’m not going to build my hopes up too soon as I know how he is “if he has something to do, nothing else matters or even enters his head”. So him being busy with his child has to come first (I wouldn’t have it any other way) but I’m not sure why he won’t let me be part of it???
I’m happy we at least had a talk and I now know when he said we could only be friends. He didn’t mean it. But quite where this leaves us, I have no clue…. I am and always have been me!! I have and never would change, you Aquas would see through that anyway 🙂 I’m being calm about the situation and as and when he wants my input I will be there for him.
I so want to see him and hold him in my arms!! I just wish he could stop being such hard work and let me in a bit more. What a silly man! I was so close to cutting my losses and all because he didn’t let me know whats going on and that we weren’t the problem.
Will just sit back and play it by ear now. Thats all I can do! If he wants me to be part of his new situation GREAT, if not then there’s nothing much I can do. I’m not going to push the issue in any way.
If you think I may be going about this in the wrong way, please advise. Your input is valued very much!
Hi there Ladies and Gentlemen. I hope I’m not intruding but I just finished reading all of your posts. WOW. I read a lot of myself in here. I am currently involved with an aquarius Guy. If you have not read any of my posts maybe it’s better you don’t. I warned him before we even met how I was. Now I’m just frustrated.
Last time I saw him was Nov 30th, I shared a letter saying that he was growing on me. Basically to express that my feelings were stronger for him. He did say he felt the same. But this past week when I shared a poem with him and told him: Warned you how I was and that I’m a hopeless romantic and that I believe in love. He answers back with: Yeah I’m just not ready for anything too serious. Said he liked me a lot and that he cared for me. Just that he’s not readyfor anything lovey dovey.
It would be nice if they came with a sign that said: A lot of Patience is required.
My biggest fear is that he’s seeing others. But My gut goes from telling me that he is to I’m not sure what’s up with him. I will not run on much longer since I’m sure you’ve all read my posts and can understand I may babble a bit much lol.
Sighs
And I’m letting you all I know. I love my aqua guy and am patient.
I just miss him so much and wish he’d put the effort to contact me/see me more. He only lives a few blocks away from me. Who knows. Maybe he lost his phone again
Hi beyonder33 reading your post I would tell you to step back away from him (for the time being) he knows he has you right where he wants you. “waiting for him what ever he does”. Do like I had to do and DON’T contact him at all. It really works, trust me. They start thinking where have you gone, who are you with etc…. I have had lots of help these past few months and the advise I have had is to play cool. Act like you have moved on. Then see what he does.
If he does nothing then you know you are wasting your time on him. I ignored mine and at least he got back to me to explain what was going on.
At this point I would say it’s worth a try.
Let me know please
I will do my hardest to fight the urge lol. You should know how hard it can be. I hate to put it this way but he’s like my drug of choice so to speak.
I will update. Soon I hope.
Happy Holidays 🙂
ok I confess. I contacted him again last night. And this is what I said word for word:
lol I can understand that what I said came off crazy and now you think Im like crazy in love with you or something but I’m not. My interpretation of love is a bit different. U see my ex just told me the other day that he still loves me, But I told him I only loved him as a friend. and told him I loved my bf romantically. I’m not In love with you and ready to marry you lol Neither of us are I just miss you and really enjoy your company and if that’s even too much. The fact that I’m open about my feelings then I can understand and we can go our separate ways. Good luck 2 u. I truly mean that!
Ok give it to me (ducks)
I’m confused!! If you have a boyfriend why are you so hung up on the Aqua guy?? The more you contact him, the more he will pull away. Trust me on that one, I have been there
My current bf is aquarius. I was explaining to him that an ex bf tried to say he loved me, But then proceeded to tell him that I didn’t love the ex as nothing more than a friend.
Guess who contacted me just now??? lol he said: Hey lol sorry I haven’t responded I’ve been stressing with school and assignments. Of course I told him: I understand!
Hey…….I am so proud of you…..You have waited and it has worked…don’t slip and think all is well with the world…he is just beginning to open up….the full bloom will NOT ever happen…..Aqua’s will not show everything…it makes us vulnerable when we can’t accept what is going on, or don’t fully understand something, we have to analyze all of it so that we are correct in our explanation of it. (should we even try to explain). The fact the ex just left him in charge of the child is huge! Now he is Mom and Dad…..alot to take in as a free spirit!! He will do fine with it. BUT he didn’t want to share it, it is his misery and not sure of your acceptance of all of it. He did what is right, but DON’T belabor that point with him. Too many KUDOS thrown at him will seem fake to him. Too much concern from you will smother him. Let it all flow. AND YES…no matter what else..being you is major…it is what has drawn him to you and what will keep him there…..faking anything is not going to work.
Beyonder33……CLUE NUMBER ONE….don’t be throwing another boyfriend (Past or present) at your Aqua…..even as an example…You can’t really make us jealous in a normal way…..but you can certainly make us turn and leave……here is the kicker…we have past BF’s/GF’s and we will use them against you if needed…however, when you do the same to us…we don’t see it having been done in the same spirit. We see it as you had/have a serious thought about the person you are telling us about. Aqua’s will have “Their first love”…which is usually…”The love of our life”……if we missed out on that one and if we are very lucky we will have “The Great love of our life”……CLUE NUMBER TWO….if you have read the post completely…..it is the chase. If you fail on the chase you loose it all…..may sound stupid but it is a fact!
Mine by the way….doing great……BUT I will have issues coming in February. I have already been warned about a long stay out of state. Family and financial…..I knew it was coming from the beginning….was suppose to happen in November……at this writing it looks like 30 to 60 days……doesn’t sound like much now, but the closer February gets the longer that period of time seems……we will see “If absence truly makes the heart grow fonder”. Not sure that statement was written with Aqua’s in mind!! I am not dwelling on it, just passing thoughts.
I think that the reason he responded today was bc I sort of said goodbye to him last night. But I do understand what you are saying. I just miss him so much lol. And since he is having I believe finals this week? I will leave him be. And give him space. He deactivated/closed his okcupid.com account. I think he was rejected by someone else. My gut also tells me that he’s afraid of something and I won’t ask him via text. I will wait to see him next time to ask.
And by the way, it wasn’t to make him jealous. It was to explain(to him) my interp. of Love in the context of him versus friends.
Aqua to Aqua, yes I’m a happy bunny at the moment, but I never take anything for granted! He might be in the no contact thing again next week :). Hearing what you have had to say on the subject has really helped me understand better.
I now know he doesn’t mean some of the things he does or says, it’s just his way of dealing with things. At least if there is a problem in the future I will read back on your comments and tell myself it will be fine.
He did ask me round to his last night via text, but I didn’t see the text until very late so I didn’t reply/or go. I hope he doesn’t think I’m playing any sort of game.
You sound to be doing really well with your man and at least he keeps you in the loop about what is happening. 30-60 days does sound a long time but you do deal with it somehow. I have had to and didn’t even know if I would ever see him again. Much easier if you know he’s coming back and it not because it was something you did. I hope you know what I mean??
I think you have fallen for him and him you so I’m sure absence really will make the heart grow fonder!! You have Christmas and New Year with him, that’s the main thing for now.
Aqua to Aqua
Sorry this is an after thought but want to ask you take on this please!! When you say “THE CHASE” can you give me some ideas on this. IE… when your man rings you, do you always answer the call? When he sends a text do you always answer and how long do you take before you answer? Do you ring him first or text first? Do you always say yes to seeing him every weekend? It’s just so I know how best to handle things so it doesn’t go wrong for me again.
Thank you
That’s what I would like to know. I heard from him Monday which should suffice. But lately have been the one to initiate communication. with him.
Here’s a little poem that I wrote last night
Love you Hate you
It’s like you’re renting this space in my head that’s controlling my heart.
I’d much rather be dead than to fall apart.
Can’t take it much longer.
I need to get away
So that I can be stronger
Without you every day!
STOP CONTACTING HIM let him come to you. And if I were you I wouldn’t send him the poem. They run a mile when you are so full on with them!!!!
I’m not sending him the poem. It was just me writing in my blog. And I haven’t contacted him since Sunday, he contacted me Monday!
Guess who messaged me today… 🙂 And he wants to ‘hangout’ tomorrow! 😀 🙂 ;o)
I promise you all to not express feelings of sorrow, despair or to tell him that I feel like he’s pushing me away!
Will update this weekend.
Saw him and things went well. I asked him a few questions to which he answered me sincerely. We have a movie date coming up soon. Will update. Happy Holidays E1!
Ewww i cant believe How much I stressed over this wishy washy confused boy!
Hey…..been good so far……we will see what the New Year brings….”Need Aqua Help”…you are doing very well and you have been right on target with “beyonder”……..let me see, you asked about the chase……in this, you don’t need to RUN…but walk fast..ha ha…..you just need to keep ahead of him the best you can, which means your mind will always be on guard and working. As much as I hate games, it is a game non the less. “YOU” just don’t get caught. I don’t text him back right away, I don’t want him to think I am waiting for him or anyone else for that matter. On emails, if he knows I am on lline and he sends one, yes I answer right back. Sometimes, I do block my self so I can’t be seen when I am on the computer…..again, I am not waiting. Phone calls…..he pretty much knows my schedule, so he knows WHEN I am home, so yes when he calls, I answer. Once in awhile I throw in one of those wait and call back things…..but I don’t push that…he will call me on the house phone as well as the cell, if he gets concerned about what I am doing or where I am…..good for him sometimes. Don’t ever answer on the first or second ring….third ring is good…
I try to be as honest as possible…it is my nature (and so is it his)…but I do what I call “An Aquarian Stretch”…which is stretching the truth to the point of the thread breaking.
I am thrilled you are both letting him come to you and NOT you to him….and stay away from MUSHIE….hate it……Oh and I should have warned you….CARDS are not that important, so DON’T do them. A) We believe they are a waste of time B) You didn’t write it so what does it matter…..”beyonder”…VERY glad you did not send/give him the poem…… ! He is on his way here…gotta run, will catch up with you in the new year!!!!!
Happy New Year to you!! I hope you had a great time.
I owe you a huge THANK YOU!! I have been trying all the things you have told me and they really have worked! When he sends a text now I always wait before I reply, sometimes I don’t even reply at all.
It makes him think and he always gets back to me again to see what’s wrong.
Sounds funny but I feel more in charge now than I ever have. I hear from him more and I also see him more. When I see him I’m a bit more “take it or leave it” if you know what I mean. I don’t gush or hang on his every word. I can tell he is confused by the new me 🙂
I didn’t send him a card and I haven’t done since our first Christmas (this is our third). You are so right! He is just the same as you. When I gave him a card the first year, he said what did you go and do that for?? So I have never done it since. Neither on our Birthdays. I do miss it to be honest, but he is who he is and I have to respect that.
It’s great that he is trying more and keeping in touch more. On the odd time I text him he doesn’t ignore that either. It’s very early days (this new him) but I hope it lasts.
The other week when he sent me the text that I didn’t see until late really shuck him up. When I next saw him he said “I thought you had changed your mind or forgot to come” I got the biggest hug and kiss when I did see him next, it blew me away. I hope it lasts and I can keep up the “thinking before acting”. Being a bit standoffish even. He seems to respect that far more.
You should be charging for your advice, it’s really worked for me!!
How’s things with your man??
Mercy…now I have an issue…I am now facing the wrath of an Aqua man who states, he has not one jealous bone in his body. OMG, yes he does. I am in shock. A business aquaintence (male) and I had lunch a month ago….my man knew about it , when Mr Aqua asked me if he had hit on me, I was honest and said “yes” the guy had hit on me…..(I wasn’t expecting that from the guy, I was there to gain information from him about a project me and my Aqua were going to undertake)….but he and his wife had seperated….he asked if I was in a relationship I said yes and completely committed to it……at the end I paid my half of of the lunch and I lefI told, even told and emailed my Aqua everything that had happened…Aqua’s reply was TMI…too much information. But he also said he knew it would happen. So the subject has not come back up. The guy called me two times after that. I did not respond nor return his calls.
Suddenly this weekend (trust me all was well at that point) my Aqua asked me if I had ever heard from that guy? I said no he, that he had called and I had not answered or responded. Suddenly Aqua lowered his voice and began to tell me he would not accept deception of any kind in a relationship. He hates deception. Well, hey there me neither!!! Then he said he didn’t want to know about who hits on me or when. I could have dinner or lunch with anyone I want to any time, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body and then repeated he doesn’t care. Keep in mind, he tells me everytime a woman is attraced to him…even goes into detail…I have just thought he was trying to see if I was jealous. NOW, I am thinking maybe there is a new person in his life and he is wanting out. I don’t understand how he can go from having a wonderful conversation and then flip a switch and change. I didn’t hear from him the rest of that day or the following day….I have stayed consistant…..email in the morning….simple words…..I don’t want to complicate things by asking what the hell??? Or changing my normal routine with him. Silence is not golden! I feel like he has to work this out in his own mind, while mine mind is in torture……He did call today…left me a message “we would talk later today.”…have no friggin clue what that is going to be about. Do I like it when another woman hits on him…not so much, but knowing the magnet thing with an Aqua…I work with it, as it really can’t be helped…I know that sounds stupid and concieted, but it is what it is…..
Question???? I’m I being stupid or is this jealousy he is showing??? 2 phone calls, mute point, not returned but ignored , and himself wanting to know nothing more about the guy???? Where is my error here??? I resent being accused of being decietful, right to my core. I don’t lie, cheat or steal. I feel a huge dent forming in the relationship and my insight is sending me big time warnings. Aman, you said you read these……I am asking for help here………Aqua to Aqua…….Houston I have a problem. NEED INPUT!!!!!! HELLO!!!!!
Aqua to Aqua
Yes I would say he’s jealous too. They don’t like it when they get those feelings. They only like it when it’s you having those feelings.
You did nothing wrong in telling him about the guy! HE ASKED after all! If he is ignoring you at the moment, I would stop contact for the time being.
Let him do his thinking, you know and I know how good they are at that 😦
I also think it might have something to do with him going away in Feb! Mine did something a bit like that too. He had to be away for work and he started being odd with me. Turned out that he didn’t think it was fair for me to wait for him while he was away (his words not mine and it didn’t work anyway) as we are still together.
They are very odd in there thinking and whats worse they don’t share whats wrong with you. I hate it when they do that. They always manage to make us the ones that feel bad and worried, when it’s them thats causing the problem.
I really don’t think he has another woman or anything, I think it’s something they all go through when they have been with someone for some time. He will work it out his own way and be back. Please don’t panic, as you told me (and it worked) wait it out and see what he does.
One other thing, when he rings you tonight and if you get into a “heavy conversation”. Tell him YOU ARE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN A ONE MAN WOMAN. And that you treat others in the way you would want to be treated yourself!! Mine relaxed when I told him that. It even put a huge smile on his face.
Deep down he knows you would not do anything with that guy or any other guy, he is just flipping out.
He sounds jealous even though he says he’s not but, he also sounds like he may have a guilty conscious. Saying he doesn’t want to know? means the reverse. He may not want YOU TO KNOW SOMETHING!
I noticed that every time my gut tells me that something is off about him that it is usually true. You can either keep silent and let him reveal to you in time. Or ask right away: Why are you being this way?
I don’t know if my approach would work for you. I’m not good at confrontations but am subtle in my approach.
If the change of pattern in the relationship has you feeling iffy about him then it’s more than likely his own fault and not yours.
I hope it turns out in your favor.
And NO you’re not being stupid. They’re just so confusing with their behaviors it makes us think we’re losing out minds! lol
Thank you both……I needed conformation that I actually DIDN’T do somthing wrong. I knew it, just needed to hear it 🙂 Yep, “Need Aqua Help”…basically I need to pay attention to what I have told you….it was right and it worked……I am NOT contacting him. Won’t contact him. This is his issue not mine, I have done nothing wrong. He needs to get over himself……..period. Where there could be a problem here is ME…..remember “Also Aqua”…..OMG. I won’t chase, I won’t confront him even with the slightest “Why?’…(keep that in mind Beyonder…don’t EVER try that approach!!”) Silence is Golden….it sucks, but it is gold in it’s own way. Aqua to Aqua is totally different than Aqua against Aqua…….Did I say this sucks???? Yes I did!!!
You may be completely correct in saying the trip out of state may be one issue if not “the” issue. Hadn’t thought about that…. I also believe he is insecure in some way. Example: I told him we didn’t win LOTTO, so a Limo would not be picking him up to go claim it…..he said….”That wouldn’t have happened anyway, You would have your new boyfriend go with you to get it”…I let him know how wrong that was! That was over a month ago. He is also nit picking himself due to afew pounds he has put on, over the last couple of months.
I did see something that said a man has issues 3 to 4 months into a relationship…they “See” they are headed for a relationship and need to think about it….then at 6 months…they discover they are in a relationship and once again they need to think about it….at 11 months there is another milestone…..they assume the woman is expecting complete commitment….again they need to think……We are in that “Steady Dating” relationship now, and on the 4 months mark…….. actually on the 8th of this month it was 4 months to the day we had our first date……lovely way to spend it!!!
I so thank you for being here to listen and respond…..it helps more than I can tell you…..this whole things makes me makes me want to lace up my “AQUA” running shoes and get out of Dodge….the love holds and I can’t move. Wait it out, I will do…..for awhile……I don’t know that I have it in me, love or not…..to stand strong for as long as both of you have done in your relationships with your Aqua men. You both have alot of strength and determination. Hang with me please!!!
Glad to be of help, you have done the same for me.
The more I think about your situation the more I think it’s about him going away next month.
I think he is thinking, she is being hit on when I am here. what is going to be happening when I’m away for two months!!! It’s his problem as he should know and trust you by now!
They really don’t like it when it’s them feeling jealous, but boy can they hand it out.
It sounds like this issue has been on his mind for a month now. The more he is thinking about the more wrong he is becoming. From him knowing you were going for that meal with the guy. He has now thought about it soooo much he has convinced himself something is going on.
Mine does it on quite a few subjects, it starts of something small but by the time they have thought and thought and THOUGHT about it, it becomes a massive deal and so totally from the truth it’s mind blowing.
Sit tight, let him stew on it, I’m sure you will hear from him when he works out he has been a FOOL!!!!
I want to believe you are 100% right……my Aqua insight has completely failed, me because I have been caught off guard (1st time in my life) , due to the total involvement of my heart. I always wondered what was so grand about love…..now I know, ;( I was right to question it. Funny, I have made it to the middle of my life avoiding it, not ever feeling it….being strong and not ever allowing the chance for it to happen…running from it and stopping it from happening when someone got too close…just the word love was like kriptonite (spelling ?)….it is somewhat over powering, but it is awesome the feelings it has! The feelings it leaves behind are unexplainablely hurtful. I can’t think about that now…..I will hold and wait, no choice.
But on the other hand…this will not ever happen again…I will immediately go back to guarded “Aqua #101.” Maybe this whole friggin thing is Karma bitting me in the butt??? Karma is a mean nasty little thing and is rentless….but then, it could be that Karma is after him, and I am in the wake of it all…..We are going to hold with that one! 😉
You are right the closer February gets the worse he gets…..this could be a long wait……don’t know if I can emotionally handle 2 months maybe more…OMG…..
What is the longest you have had to wait for him to stop pouting and thinking? I need some kind of time frame…I know last year you were at a month during one of his time outs. The last thing he said to me on Sunday was…”I am thinking” , that was right after his voice lowered and he threw deciet and not caring at me. I don’t know how to adjust to the words…they eat at me…..how can he even say them if he actually does care….?? I would not ever throw something like that at someone/anyone. The words…hard to get over, they are in one of those folds in my brain…..maybe thats my ego….maybe it is his ego……I don’t want to be hurt, he doesn’t want to be hurt….catch 22……I am in it to win it……if he is, then he needs to figure it out, if he isn’t then we both need to move on. I am waiting……just venting…so you know…”YOU” and one very close friend (female…LOL… I can count friends that close on 1/2 of one hand) are all that know…thanks for listening and responding….you are priceless to me!
Oh I hate to hear you in such pain!! I can tell you hand on heart HE DOES NOT MEAN WHAT HE IS SAYING, he is falling in love and is VERY confused. I don’t think it is helping him that he knows he is going away and he also “thinks he knows” that guy is interested in you. When you tell him you are not interested in the other guy HE IS NOT HEARING IT. But he will do his thinking and he will sort it out in his own head and his own time. He might do a big part of that thinking when he goes away. So you could have some time of waiting to do!!
The longest for me has been about two months. But I didn’t help myself really as I kept contacting him, thinking I was doing the right thing. I know better now thanks to you.
Love can hurt but it also can be the best feeling ever!! You can’t run away from it, and at some point or other you can’t have one feeling without the other (if you know what I mean). Don’t ever close yourself off from loving again, it is life and it’s what we do. You have a lot to give (I can tell) and why would you deny yourself the feeling of love from another person.
We all have to take the rough with the smooth at times, but then thats life in general isn’t it?
He’s beating himself up over something he has blown up in his own head. They are so stupid sometimes, they miss out on happy times because there mind is working OVERTIME. I know they can’t help it but they really do need to get a grip!!!!!
He is wasting time thinking when he should be spending quality time with you, knowing he is going away soon. HUH I hope he gets his head out of his BUTT soon or he will be missing out on a very special partnership.
I am thinking of you and totally feel your pain!! But there is a way back for you both if he steps up and (SORRY TO SAY) grows up!!
Time is a great thing and it is very limited……you go to sleep one night at 42, then you wake up one morning, suddenly you are 150……as you age you see what a loss it all is, if it is not spent well.
He is keeping me in the loop with text as far as “his” buseiness goes….(and I can’t say I understand that part). The messages are not as cut and dried now, they have a softer edge….Even got kind of cute in one from him mocking a response from me…..all of my answers have been one word answers…and one short sentence, because there was no way around it…….When I got home yesterday…..I saw on caller ID where he had called, but left no message….maybe it was a butt dial I have no idea…I did not respond.
I asked one of my co-workers yesterday if she thought I was deceptive. She laughed. She said I was one of the, if not the most upfront honest people she had ever met. She said I am in your face honest….(I knew that…needed to hear it)….she does not know what is going on in my life…I am quiet about myself and other people’s business (except on here, and I do feel guilty writing this out by the way!! But I need to vent!). I asked what her perception of me was, by my interactions with people in general, when they come in…..her answer was…”You straight forward…opinionated, even when they don’t necessarily want to hear what you have to say…but they love you when they leave, then they always come back again and again asking just for you.”…Then she smiled, hugged me and said, “you never veary…it is always the same with you, man, woman. young, old…you are just you!” I needed that affirmation…this man has made me doubt myself…..I hate that!!
You are so correct….he needs to “grow up.” He has told me how he played the field and “won” his wars when he was younger…..he doesn’t see that the playing field had changed and he is going to be lost on the new one. Lost and alone…I didn’t say lonley…there is always someone out there and I am not dumb enough to believe I can’t be replaced in his mind or heart.
This was my update for this morning…I will check back in later…I am sorry, I keep sayng “THANK YOU”…but it is how I feel and what I truly want/need to say to YOU!! Your thoughts are needed…!
Has he made plans to see you this weekend? I’m not sure what he is playing at now to be honest.
I know if I was hurting as much as you due to what he has done! I wouldn’t be answering all of his messages. I would be acting in way’s that would make him think.
He either has no idea how he has made you feel or he is hopeing you will just forget about it. But I would say he owes you a massive SORRY!!!!!
You sound a very strong woman, please don’t let him pull you down. Be strong and tell him whats what! Oh and don’t change who you are for any man!!!
It’s only the same advise you would give me. In fact if ever you find you are questioning yourself, act like your talking to me and giving me the advise. WHAT WOULD YOU BE SAYING???? It’s worth a try.
Great advice…thank you my dear….it is always easier to give it than accept it……Let me qualify the business emails, as I said I make sure they are short…very short….one word response ONLY…(except the one I had to give a 5 word answer about)…it was an agreement from the beginning (after the relationship started then did the business end of it)….whatever way it goes WE continue business wise. That was a stupid agreement on all parts, especially mine…..now, maybe on his…..non the less…..I said I would do it…..so I am (for now). Aquas don’t go back on stuff…major or minor..even if the other person does….and I am doing what and “only” what I think I need to do until my deadline is hit and past….which, so you know is this Sunday…..if nothing has improved it all ends. That will be a week….that is enough.
Why he is doing the business end I have no friggin clue unless it is for torture, or because, like me he said he would, maybe to keep his foot in the door……none fo that works for me at this time….all or nothing period…..I want reasons……I want/need to have/hear I am sorry!!! He won’t break me….he can’t.
P.S. We did not have plans for this weekend…..those would have been made last Sunday when everything turned upside down.
Believe it or not, I did talk to myself like I would talk to you….told myself the exact things I would say to you….. it made me take a whole new look at this and how stupid it really is….actually how child like he is being. Even if this should work out, and my gut is saying it won’t…..It won’t be the same…there is a child like innocence (for me anyway) that has been lost. Doubt I will ever date another Aqua….they (male counterpart) are a pain in the butt…..BUT I will stay on here for moral support for you always…after all I am Aqua, and I am not so bad…LOL
You are so right! He is being stupid and childish and with no explanation either.
Have you tried telling him off (so to speak). Have you told him how rude and mean he has been to you? Accusing you of things that were totally out of order.
Are you sure one week is all you will cope/put up with? You seemed so happy with him! Yes he has been selfish but if he has the guts to say sorry or something, could you try to put it behind you? It is hard to cope with some of the things they do but if he can step up and be a man would you forgive him?
They do seem to think they can say and do whatever they like and we will just put up with it. They must think we have nothing better to do than be treated like doormats.
You have made me a much stronger person and it is working for me. Just today he was on the phone telling me to do this and that….. he ended up with a flea in his ear from me. And boy did it feel good 🙂 I have you to thank for that, before I would try to go along with what he said, in order to keep the peace. No longer Mr……. He can like it or DO ONE from now on. It really has done “us” the world of good. I’m not and never was a push over, but I was coming across as one to him.
Read back at some of the times you have “told me off” 🙂 maybe it might help. You told me to sit back and let him come to me, but I had to wait a month. It seemed like forever but I waited and it worked and to be honest it’s the best thing that could have happened.
Please don’t go missing on here, I’m sure I will need help at some time or other. Nothing is ever smooth with Aqua men for long 🙂
Oh and by the way, you are nothing like an Aqua man. Take it from me I should know!!!
You made me laugh…I sooo needed that!! I won’t go missing!!
The things I suggested you doing about him were solid….but he hadn’t called you deceitful and told you he didn’t care…I think I would have told you to duck and run….LOL If he truly thinks that, and feels nothing, it is done….If he is faking it and just shooting off his mouth, he needs to be BIG time sorry, say it and mean it. I was over the top happy in my relationship with him….actually thought nothing could get in the way of us. I haven’t contacted him, so no, I have not confronted him with feelings, issues, nothing. My last conversation was Sunday when I told him how completely wrong he was, no yelling…just a calm statement, matter of fact…..holding my own…sitting tight. If he contacts me and if he is serious and not a good bye…then yes, a second chance would be in order…however and I say this probably out of ego….there is a dent in the relationship and I don’t know if I can overcome it completely…nor do I think he can overcome what he thought and what he said…..it is all a seed for future concern. It is just plain sad…..
I will check back on later tonight….Hope your Aqua and you have fun this week end. Are you getting to see each other????
Yes I am on Sunday. It is my birthday next Tuesday so we will be going out for a meal etc…. I am spending time with his child too through the day so it should be a good day I hope.
I’m glad I could make you laugh, what did I say that was funny??
No mine didn’t say those things to me, but he has made me feel like he had little respect from time to time. I told him not to talk to me like that and I did get a sorry.
Might just be me but I would send him a message telling him what he said was WRONG and you did nothing to deserve that. At the moment I think he is thinking it’s all his choice what happens between the two of you. As a friend said to me once “don’t you just want to slap the snot out of him” when hes acts like an AH!! That just about sums up the Aqua man haha.
I hope your Sunday is a great one!! Be you with him and with the child….so you are a Capricorn…way cool……remember I am complete cusp….stroke of midnight between Capricorn and Aquarius…I have the pull from both worlds……My dad chose my birthday for me…either 1 minute before midnight or 1 minute after…he chose after, there is no “STROKE” of midnight birthdays according to the law…..because it does not exist, except on New Years…..so I tell eveyone I am timeless….The year I was born also splits me….I am both a Rat and an Ox….now come live in my mind!!! Take it one notch more…..due to all of this, my birthstone is both Garnet and Amethist. See….you aren’t dealing with a completely normal person…LOL. FYI…being a Capricorn bealing with this Aqua dued will be easier for you…you are smart and think stuff out. But like me, you have to remove yourself from the box sometimes to actually see it. Have fun “Happy Birthday” let me know how it goes!!!
Update: He did email me…..cool tone to the whole thing……said he would explain….( next, I screwed up) …I said, good, I would like to know what all went on this week and why there is such a lack of communication between us. He asked, why I would say that….I said “because your last words were, you don’t care who I see, when I see them …you just don’t care…. Then you said, you were thinking…..I didn’t know what to think or what you meant at that time, I thought you needed time to think, so I gave you space.” You would have thought I “slapped the snot outta him”..(LOL)… Then he said…”Didn’t care about what??? I didn’t say that??” and we were off to the races. I said “turn it around what would you be thinking if someone you cared for said that to you?”…I got back a “no call tonight because of your attitude…tomorrow is another day..Good night”…..Friggin dismissed me like a father would do to a child.
I composed a llight, but pointed email tonght and I hit send…..it is basic, no roses in bloom…..matter of fact but not hateful (not my style)…..my attempt to explain……in the end calmly stating, I would like to see you tomorrow if it is workable for you. Pleae let me know in the morning…….didn’t threaten him with pistols at 10 paces or anything……tomorrow, the writing should be on the wall for me to actually see. Hoping for the best…expecting the worse!! It is what it is, it is done…we will see tomorrow if we are done also. Give me thoughts….I think he going to try and twist this around to fit the way he needs for it to fit!!
Good night my dear Capricorn…..by the way…..the friend I confide in…I told you about earlier this week…she is a Capricorn born on Jan 1st. How about them apples for a samll world…..good group!!
Who the “bleep” does he think he is??? Sounds like he has a huge chip on his shoulder to me!! One min he says he has screwed up the next talking to you like a teacher. He really is an AH. Good luck if you do get to see him, I really would slap the snot out of him if he spoke to me like that. Don’t let him get the upper hand if he comes over. Get him told how rude he is.
Doesn’t mean you have to shout or anything, compose something in your head/on paper what you want to say to him. I do still think he is being mean because he is falling for you…. I read somewhere that they act the opposite to the way they are feeling.
Your birthday is either 20th or 21st then. I knew you weren’t as Aqua as your man is being. Aquas ignore/run away from problems and yes they do have a habit of trying to turn things back on you, instead of admitting they messed up. Capricorn stay in touch, try to sort problems out, try to reason with the other person etc…… I hope things work out for you and he doesn’t throw his toys out of his pram 🙂
Thank you for the birthday wish! Im shocked I will be going out for a meal with him to be honest. This is my 3rd birthday since I met him and this is the most I have had from him. So something must have changed with him. The first year I was with him….., no card no birthday wish at all. Nothing……
I will be thinking of you, let me know how it goes!!!
Checking on you this morning…..because I knew you would be checking on me!! Yep my birthday is celebrated (not so much anymore…LOL) on the 21st….but I act and think both Capricorn and Aqua…..my approach to this has been alittle of both…reason like a Capricorn…airy and aware like an Aqua…..the two of me fight sometimes……Funny…the Capricorn wants logic, but the Aqua already knows the outcome. So it becomes a mute point…why reason when you know……The Aqua is 99% right most of the time…Sucks…..it is one logic against another…both right. Aqua won’t do a drawn out ending. There is the cut and run factor. So much easier to run than fight…..then Aqua can do away with the feelings left in play. With the email I sent to him last night, I am doing my Capricorn side……Aqua side has been up and running asking why bother. Well, Capricorn answer, It’s love lady, get a grip and learn the feeling good and bad…….Aqua side….WTF…we don’t like this feeling and you are nuts for waiting this out….stop now!!
If I see him this weekend it will be discussed…..no yelling….I don’t yell, I am calm to a point it bothers the other person. I listen intently and hear every word, watch all expression and feel every emotion being put out there. It is in the air around them….sounds weird and it is……but that’s how it is on Aqua side, if the Aqua is intune. Not all Aqua’s are intune…I think I am dealing with one of those needing a tune-up!….LOL
I really hope you have fun on Sunday……remember cards aren’t important…..flowers not so much either……if you get either of those, it is because he got sidetracked and wanted to add something to the day……might not ever happen again…so enjoy if you get them….Keep the card….LOL….may be a collector’s item someday as it is not something typical of him….
I will let you know damage controll sometime later today…..:)
Well…son of a gun…he called…..I got the explanation/reason…..in detail, no holding back…I asked questions after he talked….he answered them all….I got “I am so sorry…..so sorry!!” To sum it up….first he was thinking…considering our relationship…second it was business related. I actually came in first. I am in complete shock. He wants “US” to continue…hopes always….He had become concerned that I was loosing my independence and too much focus on him…..Yes, I probably had to a point, mixing business with pleasure at all times. Then he went back to last Sunday and the other guy…..stating he has no jealousy…how he cannot understand how I refuse to see what I did……I told him there is jealousy in any relationship (I just found this out myself this week…Hello!!) it is a protection of what you care about….and not wanting to loose it. A fear of loss and possible hurt. Yes, he is jealous, if he likes it or not (did I say that part to him…no…he needs to discover it himself.) He has the same mind set I do….I won’t be hurt no matter what. We both need to know trigger words and actions and stay away from them at all costs. He will be calling me back shortly to continue the conversation and catch me up on everything that happened this week, while I have been (was KEPT) out of the loop. Another round like this, the relationship could not withstand the pressure or continue, it has just been too intense on both sides. Small bumps, I can deal with and I think he can also…but this was out of bounds, and without reason. So you know, I will ask about what is expected while he is gone…so I don’t get caught off guard. FYI: with all he said and every thing explained as he did…YOU are right…he “IS” falling in love….I just got there sooner than he did….Thank YOU!!
I guess this love thing changed me in some ways…..I don’t know if I like it very much….I am unsure of how to cope with the feelings and my reactions to all of them….but if he thought I was loosing myself….and myself is what/who drew him to me…then I need the controll of me again, that, is what I keep preaching to you about! Guess between “YOU” and Mr Aqua….I needed to be pushed out of the box so I could view it from the other side.
Check on you later…..
I’m glad he has said sorry and explained what was going on in his head. As I have always said they think way too much.
Him saying he thought you were losing your independence is a “cop out” on his part. He is trying to pass the buck to you!! He is the one with all these feelings going round and round his head and he has no idea how to deal with them. Don’t forget he has already tried testing you before some weeks back. You stood your ground then and it worked in your favour.
Don’t think too much just try to go with the flow, he needs to do that too. All the thinking in the world (what is she thinking) (what is he thinking) you will never come up with the right answer, unless you ask!!! I think you are both trying to second guess eachother and it can’t work like that. No one is a mind reader! If we were none of us would have a problem, would we??
If you can find it in your heart? FORGIVE HIM… put things behind you and have a fresh start. You must tell him he can not accuse you of doing something like that again. It’s going to be bad enough for you both when he is away without him causing a problem that doesn’t even exist??
Please don’t ask him what is expected of you while he is away. He doesn’t own you, but he might take advantage of you wording it like that!! Im just thinking of you here. Start as you mean to go on with him.
He has said sorry and thats great, but he is twisting things a bit so he doesn’t feel/look so bad. Remember YOU DID NOTHING WRONG HERE!!!!
Please re-read what you have written above and you will see what I mean.
Hey…he just called and wants to do something tonight……OMG….second shock for the day!!!! Just wanted to share!
How did it go??
Hey you…..I tried to post “Happy Birthday to you yesterday”….something happened and it did not go into print….I wanted to make sure you knew I was thinking about you, on your day and wanted to know how your birthday dinner went?
Mine was awesome. Could not have been better…we talked alot of things over and enjoyed being together. I told him his thinking and needing time, was something that needs to be shared and not just done….space is his to have and mine to have, but just dropping out of communication while in a relationship is just wrong on so may levels. Just say I need time, that’s what I would have done. Not leaving him hanging and giving him time to think the worst. WHICH is, of course exactly what I did. Give me too much time and I will certainly make up my reasons as to why!! This is something he has always done…AQUA being AQUA…..but he hasn’t been “in a relationship” where he has done it…….don’t think this will happen again……it is a TWO party connection. He seems very happy all is well and I know I am happy about it…..Ready for the next bump….LOL. I am sure that will come next month….I know “YOU” will be there for me.
FYI: I didn’t allow any of this to become my issue or make me the cause. You would have been proud! I stood my ground.
I see why my birthday wishes didn’t get posted…..usually all I do is click “post comment”…..this time I had to re-enter information….didn’t even see it…..sorry
Your name has changed??
Thank you for my birthday wishes. Yes it went very well thank you! Spent the day with him and his little one……. Park, food etc. Then I went home to get ready for the evening. It was special…. we talked had fun, a lovely meal. But he said he doesn’t hold much on birthdays, it’s just another day to him!!!
I am glad you sorted things with your man, I was worried about you. Some of the things you were saying.. he had said to you were questionable (I thought). All is well that ends well. Good for you for telling him, you don’t like to be ignored.
They really do have to have a strong woman who won’t put up with there rubbish, don’t they??
Hmmmmm…the name thing threw me…..we are back to the old one….BUT now you know….LOL…….it was the signing in thing again, that got me lost and not paying attention to what I am doing.
Glad to hear all went well with you. I do hear some disappointment in your words. Are you stressed over something? Birthday’s are actually just another day……In general February 14th (day for lovers) is still semi important…..get into Thanksgiving and Christmas and it is more important. That’s from a female Aqua…..I guess we will both see when the 14th rolls around ! Are you making plans for his birthday? He may have thrown that in there because his will be coming up and he doesn’t want you to stress over it. Keep that in mind both what he said and what he may have meant…but whatever…DO NOT GO OVERBOARD.
Yes, I believe some of the things he said to me were questionable….trust me when I say it is not over yet….we still have things to talk out and understandings to be had on both sides. There is a middle of the road, that we need to meet on, for this to be a solid relationship. AND yes, a strong woman is manditory to survive with them. I am and will always be thankful for the Capricorn part of me. However, that part does scream out, “Just shoot him!!” LOL They are worth it in so many ways, but not worth it in so many others.
We will see how this weekend goes. Do the two of you have plans yet?
I don’t have plans for this weekend as I will be away on a “pamper weekend” massage, sauna etc….. It was a birthday gift given to me!!! Never been on one before, so should be fun.
This birthday with him was the best I ever had. He spent time with me and booked a meal etc…. I do find it a bit odd that birthdays don’t mean much to him. Or maybe you are right about making light of it as his will be in two weeks!
You are getting to know me quite well 🙂 think your starting to read between the lines with me!! Yes he did come out with something that threw me for a loop. We were mid conversation, having a laugh etc.. and he came out with “Are you seeing someone else aswell as me”?? All I could do was look at him, nothing would come out of my mouth.
I left it a couple of days then sent him a message asking why he asked (me thinking ahh does that mean he is seeing someone else and he is trying to justify himself). He said he had been by my house a couple of times and seen a car outside that wasn’t mine. He was hinting at who’s it was.
My reply!! All you had to do was ask, not cause a problem when we were having a good time (on my birthday aswell).
He put in so much effort for my birthday then he has to go and take it back by being an a$$. What do you make of this??? Was he jealous or was he hinting he was seeing someone else?? He says he isn’t but they don’t always tell the truth about things like that do they? Doesn’t help when I won’t be able to see him this weekend as I will be away.
AHHHHH!!!!!! EVERY TIME things are going well he has to go and throw in a STINKER!!!!! What is it with him. I’m not a jealous person but if it turns out he was asking me because “HE IS THE ONE” seeing someone else. I won’t forgive that. I have and will put up with a lot of things but that isn’t one of them. We are either together or we are not.
I hope it’s just me thinking too much on this one, he does have a habit of saying things totally OUT THERE!!! I have no idea why, but that one has got me thinking.
My dear……if he has driven by your house he is jealous. If he is questioning cars in your driveway….and brought it up he is concerned. I am thinking he knows what a PIA he has been and this relationship has been in progress for so long…that maybe YOU are having second thoughts….especially NOW that he has seen the light and is thinking in a more serious manner. He is sharing his child with you…this is not easy for him to do…it means YOU exist in his world and are being introduced to it close up and person. I don’t think at this point he is seeing anyone but you….did he off and on over the last couple of years?? I have no idea how to answer that. He is focused on YOU now. When he asked about the cars, it had to be hard for him to get the words out…..he didn’t want you to think that he was watching…he didn’t want to seem jealous (they aren’t ya know..B.S…ha ha//been there know that…remember a week ago with mine!!)…BUT when he asked….know it was a formed sentence pre-thought out before it was spoken. What I wish you had said….(I can see the expression on your face when he said it…) “Why didn’t you stop in. I would have loved to have spent time with you”….then told him who it was and that all he needed to do was ask….let it go and changed the subject. Yes he is jealous. DON’T bring it up again……keep in mind, he may….I am still getting a back lash of sorts. NEITHER of “US” have done a damn thing wrong…let it go and see what happens…..I am sure he is wondering where the change in you came from and the fact you will not be available this weekend…..ALL GOOD for him…..OH yes…you certainly need to call him this weekend even though you ar being papmered…pamper your mind also by hearing his voice and letting him hear yours.
Is he a January Aqua or Februrary? It sounds like the four of us are running about three weeks apart in birthdays. Life is strange. I hope you have lots of fun this weekend…I got to do that once and it was very relaxing….maybe I’ll do it again sometime. A special lady needs special time….THAT IS YOU!
Aw thank you, thank you!!! I needed to hear that! He should know me better by now that I would never do anything to hurt him.
What do you mean ALL GOOD for him?? Why do I need to call him? Your not saying he might be off with someone else while I’m away are you???
His birthday is the last day in January.
I should have asked him why he didn’t call in but it threw me for 6!! My brain didn’t work fast enough to even reply haha!!
NO I DIDN’T mean it gave him time to be with someone else or even that he is thinking about it….I mean it is good YOU are not available and will give him time to think about YOU not being reachable…….. MISSING “YOU”…..trust me, that sure worked when mine and I had our PARTING of the ways a week ago……He is closer to me now because he found he really did miss me and hearing my voice.
I am just thinking…since he is NOT jealous…(OMG neither is mine…LOL)….it might be good to just call him, Saturday after dinner or before…. to let him know you are enjoying yourself and how relaxing it is……BUT….next time it would be really nice if you could do a “pamper weekend” together….put the idea out there…..it is the mind….open it up! You don’t know unless you try……you can even leave that in a message to him on his phone if it goes to voice mail. Call ONLY ONCE…..it is YOUR weekend…..
What is “threw me for a 6″….never heard the term. Might want to use it myself, if I knew what it meant!!! LOL
Go have fun……..
Threw me for a six meant he caught me off guard when he asked me that 🙂
I will call him and see if he answers, if not I will leave a message. Thanks for that! I didn’t know what you meant by all good for him.
Have a fantastic birthday with your man!!!! When is his??
Hi All,
I hope some of you Aquas out there might be able to give me a bit of guidance with a few things, the comments above have been very insightful for me so far. Here’s my story………..
I met an Aqua man back in Sept when he approached me at a festival, I was sitting (quite happily) alone beside a campfire enjoying acoustic music being played. We were both quite tipsy but seemed to hit it off, we continued to have a few more drinks and sat up most of the night chatting and getting to know each other better. We shared a passionate kiss but nothing else. Next morning we exchanged facebook contact details and he asked if I’d like to go for a drink next time I’m visiting the town where he lives, I said I’d be up for it.
I was touring the next few days and on my return checked facebook, It took a few days to get in touch with one another due to account settings, but when I got it sorted I noticed he sent me a mess that night he got back from festival starting with Hi Gorgeous……!!
I have just got out of a 14 yr relationship and I am working on some inner issues at the moment, hence the reason I was happily on my own that night, I have discussed this with him briefly just to let him know where I’m at just now. He was very sympathetic with my situation etc.
We messaged back and forth, exchanged numbers and arranged to meet for dinner and drinks in his home town about 6 weeks after festival. Had a good night, I enjoyed his company, hope he did mine. When we parted our ways we never discussed a next time, but 2 days later I messaged him to thank him for a nice evening etc, he text back but still no further plans. A week or so later I messaged him again to say would be good to catch up again soon and he agreed and said HE would ask me out again some time (ball left in his court!). He text me next day and asked had I pulled, he knew I was out in town with a few friends for drinks night before ( I wasn’t looking to pull, just out enjoying quality time with my friends!) I text back and said no wasn’t looking and asked had he, he text back no action.
Anyway after that I left it to him to ask me out again and I never heard from him for about 8 wks, then just hi how you doing texts, happy bday happy xmas etc. Then about a fortnight later he texts to see would I like to head to country for a walk next day ( he knows I like the outdoors, so does he) He actually came to my town and we headed off to the country in his camper van, we went out for dinner then we spent the night watching stars, enjoying fresh air and getting to know each other better. During dinner he asked me had I been seeing anyone since we last met (answer was no, but did let him know I had a few admirers which I have)he told me he was seeing someone for a month (when he disappeared), Anyway I thought we had a good time and he drops me home next day said goodbye but no further plans but I did say I enjoyed myself and would like to do it again sometime and to keep in touch. 2.5 weeks later odd text back and forth but no answer in last 12 days or so. Hasn’t answered last 2 texts, so no more from me!!
I’m sorry this is so long winded but hope someone out there will take time to read this and help with what this guy is thinking, does he like me, is he giving me space he thinks I need maybe??? Any help would be great.
Thanks in advance.
Hi
Yes I would say he likes you! But seems he is wanting something casual with you for now. I’m guessing he is keeping his options open at the moment.
If he got back in touch with you before…. then he likes you. If he didn’t you would never hear from him again. You said you sent two texts to him and he didn’t reply…. That means he is busy with other things, so I would wait for him to get back to you.
My man can still do that to me and we have been together two and a half years. But I learnt “the hard way” the more you try to contact them, the more they do the opposite of what you want.
Childish I know but that seems to be the way they are. Keep busy, do your own thing and don’t contact him again. Let him find you. For some reason if they think your not bothered either way about them, they seem to like you more.
It’s a game to them and can be HARD WORK but they are worth it in the end.
Hi,
Thanks for your quick reply. Good to hear that he maybe likes me. I was thinking the same that he’s keeping his options open. I have indicated to him that I’m not sure if I am ready for another relationship yet, I told him it wouldn’t be fair on myself or the person involved as I am dealing with my own baggage just now. I have told him that friends would be good for now. I have probably been sending him really confusing signals at the moment. I don’t mean to its just he has this way of making me open up and getting info out of me and I am too honest for my own good sometimes, trying to be mysterious with this man is very hard.
I know he is a very busy man, independent etc and I am fine with that, part of the attraction for me. If I just new if he liked me or not. I am just getting on with things anyway and see where it goes or not.
I think I am quite a patient person, but think communication is very important too. When you said your man can still be like that with you after two and half years it makes me question whether I want anything more with this man, not sure if I like the sound of HARD WORK. Maybe if I knew he was worth it in the end. So maybe you can tell me what to expect that could make it all worth while.
Thanks again for your help.
Hi Need Aqua help, please note I have changed my name, but cant change it on original question! Thanks
Hey guys…..Need Aqua Help, you did beautifully with the Do’s and Dont”s…..Scorpthoughts, should not contact him anymore…he needs to lead the chase…..I do want to inject something here….she has been upfront about a new relationship (just out of an old one)…LET it lie…..you have told him…DO NOT RE-TELL him…..he knows and it is in the back of his head. I agree he is drawn to you or he would not have contacted you back, but do not attempt to text, call or email him UNLESS it is in response to him trying to reach you.
He may actually be seeing others….you need to do the same…just wait it out and do your own thing until there is more of the two of you being together. You are not into relationship mode yet…..when that happens all bets are off and you see NO ONE else…he will know. These guys are special and a PIA at the same time. They are very independent and YOU NEED/HAVE to be also, or the relationship will fail. If he thinks you are sitting waiting on him, he will A) get bored B) take his own sweet time as he has no competition because YOU have put your life on hold and he CAN and WILL string you along until YOU become tired of him and YOU finally call it quits. Serious conversation about relationships past, present, future has no place in your conversations right now. He may brag about what he has done and who he has seen…let him…evade the subject or smile sweetly….it is in the past. Responses are not necessary and what you have done with others is something to be held against you in the future…….communication is VERY important in any relationship….WHAT you communicate is more inportant…don’t ever lie, not even a small one….there will be test sooner or later…Aqua’s do not forget.
I am reading by your user name you are a scorpio…that with an Aqua is a challenge all in it’s own. I was married to one…..now, that being said, there is a pretty good size difference in a female Scorp and a male….non the less it will be a challenge. You may need to deal with your baggage before really connecting with your Aqua guy.
He heard you say “Friends for now”……he remembers it also. You cannot MAKE an AQUA open up until they are ready….We are very word friendly when it comes to getting information out of someone…pay attention…listen carefully before you answer. It is all about Aqua figuring you out…….too much is too much…..I am NOT saying don’t be open and honest……because you have to be…for you as well as him….but again…too much is too much. Does that make sense???? AND YES, IT IS HARD WORK…you need to decide if you are up to the whole thing! Once your heart is truly into it, you are screwed if you don’t want to dedicate to it!!!!!
Hey you where have you been? Did you have a good birthday? Your reply to scorpio is spot on as always. I read it myself and still learnt a thing or two.
Things are not bad with me and Mr aqua, we sorted out the big shock question and all seems fine for now.
How’s it going with yours? When is his birthday, will he still be here for it? I hope so and you can spoil him before he goes away!
Thank you both for your input. I am going to take on board all your advice.
I’m glad you mentioned the Scorpio/aqua combo, everything I’ve read says about the challenges there. I guess I maybe haven’t spent enough time around this guy to notice any challenges yet! (other than communication issues, lol)
Another thing that could be an issue is there is an 8yr age diff, myself older. Another thing I disclosed to him last time was that I was never one for sleeping around or being friends with benefits previous to my long term relationship, which I was 100% faithful throughout, He also knows this so hopefully he will understand my loyalty when in a trusting relationship. However he said that because of the age diff there could never be anything long term here. Do I take him on his word, I actually felt when he said it it didn’t sound like he meant it!? I know you say Aqua man doesn’t mince his words. Whats your take on that, am I just wasting my time thinking there could ever possibly be anything more?
He actually asked me in text a while back was I ‘waiting for him’ in a joking way, i think had a winky smile after and I answered WOW, lol what you offering? he didn’t really answer me. But I was actually in shock that he might of thought I was!!! Should I take anything from that?
Do you think he is looking only for FWB and now he knows that’s not what I want he’s done a runner?
I have no intention of contacting him again until I hear from him, but it’s his birthday in a fortnight, do I text him to wish him Happy Birthday if he hasn’t contacted me before?
Again it would be great to hear your thoughts and I’m glad to hear your both having a bit more luck with your Mr Aquas at the moment and hopefully it stays that way for you both. 🙂
Age doesn’t bother them much as a rule! But then they don’t tell lies either. The only thing I can tell you is my man (5 years younger than me) did say something like that to me at the start. He wanted more kids and didn’t think I would as my kids are grown up!! He doesn’t even talk about it anymore as now he has his child full time and I think he now knows what hard work it is and has changed his mind about any more. Not to mention he is an older dad in the first place.
I’m sure if he just wanted FWB he would have told you. They are very blunt and to the point in most things.
When he does text you, take some time before you reply. Don’t let him think you are waiting for him!! He might have been testing you when he said that.
As for his birthday (aqua to aqua) might be best at answering this one. For me I would say no harm in sending a birthday wish but keep it simple. Just a Happy Birthday nothing more, just to let him know you remembered.
NO>>>>>>>>>>>>do not send birthday wishes. PERIOD. You left the ball in HIS court, leave it there!!! Birthdays are seriously not so important…if you are together ON THAT DAY…you can wish him a happy birthday on that day, BUT NO CARDS…NO TEXTS…NO EMAILS…NO CALLS….if you are going to play….play hardball. Right now you ARE FWB….wanna change that DO NOT DO WHAT YOU ARE THINKING! “Need Aqua Help”…you know better, didn’t think that one out did ya???….LOL
Age is difference is not big deal…..UNLESS he is wanting children. When a man wants children, he will stay in or around his own age group or younger. A person older than himself…not wanting more/or any kids is not what he is looking for in the long run….cut your connection with him, if you believe this is what he wants, no matter his astro sign. If he is done with having kids, then you are good to go……long haul if thats what YOU want.
You can’t take back anything you have told him…it is what it is…you were honest…..but way too much information!!
Oh i’m glad you read that before she did anything about it. BIG SLAP ON THE WRIST FOR ME 🙂 I wasn’t sure as I can’t remember that far back, that’s why I said you were the best one to answer that one.
Thank you both again.
I was initially thinking of doing what ‘Need Aqua Help’ said on his birthday just short and simple. But now after reading this you are so right, I will not send him message unless I hear from him first. Frankly I’m getting to the stage I couldn’t care less whether I do hear from him. Lack of communication at this stage when I don’t have strong feelings for this man is one thing, but not sure I want to know what this feels like if I did have true feelings for him. It’s a shame because I do really like what I’ve seen of him already and would like to get to know him better but not like this.
I wouldn’t class myself as a needy or clingy person, but if I made it to relationship stage with this man I definitely would at least like him to answer my text if I was asking how his day was etc. I would ask any good friend that too, just the way I am, a caring loyal person with my close friends.
Anyway I’ll let you both know if I do hear from him at all, probably need your advice then too if that’s okay? 🙂
Of course that’s ok!! The best thing to do with them is play it cool. If you have read all the posts from aqua to aqua helping me with my man. She says it all has to seem as if it’s their idea. It’s hard to explain but it really works with them. Things have become so much better for me, now I know how to react to the way they are.
They have so many fantastic ways, it’s not all bad at all. They are fun, kind, loving in a funny kind of way. That’s the bit you have to get used to (it’s their way). It’s like the more you act like you are happy to just be his friend, the more they come to you.
Have a good read through the posts, it will give you more of an idea of what I’m trying to say.
My aqua came back to me after 11 years, we broke up the first time round because he moved over 200 miles away for work. We were together on and off (disappearing act) for 18 months, during this time he told me he loved me to death, I had his heart and I was his (all his words) me being leo was music to my ears, we loved being adored lol. My down fall though began when I wanted him to tell me all the time how he felt about me, that’s when he started distancing himself, usually for 2 weeks then returning and everything being fine. During everyone of these 2 week disappearing acts it felt like our relationship was over, because when I tried to call him he was always abrupt and non caring. It was like being on a roller coaster ride, feeling very upset and on edge wondering if he would come back, hence to say I felt very insecure. When he did return because of my insecurities I would question his feelings towards me again (downfall) then after a while he would disappear again.it was doomed.
When he moved away although heart broken, it was a relief to finally get off the roller coaster ride and rebuild my confidence.
During the 11 years we had parted he has asked my friends about me but Inever saw him. He also got married during this time but got divorced 3 years ago.
Then out the blue June last year he pushed a note through my door, phone number included asking me to contact him.
He also through a mutual friend asked me to contact him.
After 2 weeks I caved in and text him asking what he wanted, next thing I knew he phoned me and talking like we had never parted.
We spent 2 hours on the phone him pouring his heart out how sorry he was to hurt me last time, he was’nt ready then but he is now.
He had got married telling me that should have been me not her.
Anyway we decided to give it another go, him still being 200 miles away. And I must say its been fantastic, 6 wonderful months.
Always chatting on the phone (him doing most of the calling) sometimes for hours on end, always laughing, making me feel wanted and secure. He seems like a changed man older… 49, and wiser.
And me, older and a lot wiser as to how aquarius mind works, during our 6 months together I have been more confident around him, chatted about every subject under the sun, been witty which he likes, above all not allowed any deep emotions to get in the way apart from saying how we miss each other and can’t wait to see one another.
We have had 2 fab weekends away together during the 6 months, and a 10 day holiday abroard in december just gone, all suggested by him. I felt totaly at ease with him.
He returned back to where he lives the day before newyears eve.
He phoned to say he got back safe ( driving ).
I phoned him around 5pm newyears eve, and he was getting ready to go out and for the first time spoke ABRUPT!! I was taken aback and ended the call. I cried the rest of the evening alone, went to bed early and deliberately left my phone downstairs, I did this for 2 reasons…1) to stop my self calling him, lesson learned from past, and 2) In case he did’nt call me, my mind would have been all over the place, so best leave where I can’t hear it. Crazy thoughts!!
Anyway in the morning I had a total of 8 missed calls throughout the night, I felt terrible I had put him through that.
I phoned him later that day, he did’nt answer 😦 a first for him.
I text and explained my phone downstairs no reply
I phoned him again that evening he answered very drunk, I told him I was very sorry for missing his calls and explained about my phone being downstairs, but he had in his head I had dumped him.
From that day he has changed, he does not phone me, I let it go a couple of days then I phone him, he does not always answer, the other weekend he did’nt answer for 3 days, he finally answered on the 4th day all cheerfull saying he had lost his phone. On 2 occasions this last weekend he has phoned me, he tells me he misses me and seems back to normal then stops phoning again. I have asked him what is wrong and he says everything with us is ok nothings changed, I don’t want to push him on this, but I feel I have ruined everything and don’t know how to put it right, its harder with him being so far away, and I am getting all the negative insecure feelings back, it has now been 3 days since we spoke, I’m so upset, its gone from perfect to feeling over, please help.
Hi lozzy4859
That sounds like a real terrible time your having. I wish I could help but don’t have enough experience with aqua men of yet. I think after reading this and the above comments I’m not sure I would be bothered with aqua men!
‘Need aqua help’ and ‘aqua to aqua’ have both been great help to me so far with some really good advice and hopefully they might be able to offer you some advice with your current problems.
Hi
I have read your post over and over and I fail to see what you think you did wrong!!
You rang him new years eve, he was ABRUPT with you. Then when he rings you 8 times and you don’t answer, He doesn’t like it so ignores you. I bet he thought you had maybe gone out yourself!!!
I would do nothing further until he contacts you, think he may be sulking. Wait to see what he does next when you don’t contact him. He knows you by now and knows you will be frantic to put things right, so when you don’t keep trying he will react.
I promise you YOU DID NOTHING WRONG let him do the work for a change.
Hi
Thankyou scorpsthoughts and need aqua help for your replys.
After 3 days of silence Hallelujah!!!! he phoned and seems back to normal, and he is coming home to see me for the weekend of his birthday in just over a weeks time.
You may think 3 days is not long to go without contact, and I fully agree reading other posts when some aquas go months with no contact, but personally for me the no contact thing just makes me re-visit the way our relationship was 11 years ago, and to be honest I did’nt like the way it made me feel.
My aqua has a very caring loving and considerate side which I adore, and has displayed this all through the 6 months we have been back together, so to see his dark side surface really unnerved me, and because he shut down (so to speak) I had unanswered questions floating round my head. Eventually unanswered questions lead to self blame.
So hopefully back to normal for now 🙂 but why oh why do we keep falling for and more importantly put up with this roller coaster ride that is aquarius!!!!!!! They drive you mad but its hard to let go.
Like you said need aqua help, he defo knows me by now and knows how to get the desired affect.
Btw I am leo with Aquarius rising, so does that mean I have some traits of Aquarius? If so that would be interesting!
We fall for them and put up with the roller coaster stuff because they are the best thing on two legs 🙂 I have never had a relationship like it.
They do like to keep you on your toes ALL THE TIME but I am now doing the same back to him. It really works and it’s kind a fun!!!
When my man is being a pain, I now tell him “oh your being the little girl that had a little curl” are you haha. Do you know that one?? It makes him laugh then things are back to normal in no time. Play a bit, be a bit cheeky, it’s fun and they love it.
Aqua to Aqua
I hope all is well with you?? Not like you not to be on here for over a week!
Thank you for writing “All About Aquarian Man.
Again! Aman’s Blog.ANYTHING goes here!”. I reallymay really be coming back for alot more reading through and commenting soon enough. Thanks, Valentin
Hey kiddo…..I am fine…..busy to the max but I will try to write something, either tomorrow or Thursday…..I have missed you and hoped everything was going well for each of you!!! FYI: Nothing new in my world about February….and it is half over…..may have won a huge round…don’t know yet….smiling here!!! Need Aqua Help…you are hanging tuff on the answers…..proud of you….
I said I would be back on here, so here I am……I don’t understand exactly how things can go from 60 to zero in a heart beat……Best I can figure or tell any of you is the male Aqua (My counter part) is extreme…….any thought of commitment, by them, just sends them running for the woods……….I am fine, I am level…..all is well…then he states, he hates commitment…..WHAT???? Who said anything about that…..suddenly I am told he is being drawn closer and closer to me….and he is not a commitment person….It is his own reaction to himself……I don’t even use “The C Word” around him, much less anything that would seem like or sound like it. Now he is doing basically the same thing he did in December…… pulling away. I am stressed over this……leave him alone and give him space…”YES” I am doing as I preach to you……..But do I want another round of this…I am not so sure……it started Wed night, with a short email from him., stating we would talk on Thursday…Thursday (Valentine’s) night another short email, stating he has issues….no calls….this morning I wrote him a short email stating I had received his email but don’t understand his issues. I got his response….he will explain later today…..this is how it began last time…the short emails and nothing….I may need to give him up for Lent….hard thing for a Baptist to do…no offense intended…LOL
Thanks for listening…I just needed to get it out so I don’t smolder all night…….I will tell all of you this…..if this doesn’t work out…I give up or whatever….I will cross a main street, in the middle, with on coming traffic, before I knowingly walk down the same side of the street with an male Aqua. They don’t know love when it hits them…but they will always wonder about the one who made them feel differently than anyone else could have……strange group.
Oh why do they do this sooo much?? You know mine did this to me more than once. Sounds like he has never felt this way for anyone else before! Yep I think he will take time out to think and think and THINK. They are a pain in the butt.
I know just how you are feeling, it is so out of order of them. It took me a long time but I now do the same things back to him. Mine told me a bit back “we will never be an item, he’s just not made that way” My reply “I never asked for a label on us, why can’t we just be happy with the way things are”. He did say YES YOUR RIGHT and things have been great since.
Wait to see what his explanation is and act on that. But I wouldn’t let him get away with it without saying your piece. He seems to be doing this a bit too often.
What would you be telling me in this situation?? Do some thinking and turn this around to your advantage, it really did work for me. He now knows he can’t get away with treating me like that anymore.
While he is doing his thinking, you do some of your own. Think it’s time you made him THINK for a change. You can do it “your an Aqua”
I’m thinking of you and if you need to vent again you know where I am!!!!!
I knew you would be here…..makes me feel better….thank you!!
I am taking my own advice….that’s the kicker……I don’t mention commitment…relationship….couple nothing…it is himself that he has the issue with and him who brought it up…so I know he is at war with himseslf…I just don’t want to be caught in the middle of something I did not design or do…..my feelings I keep to myself…..he is the one who is having issue with this……I can’t fight him, when it is him, he is fighting with….When an Aqua is at war with themselves, there is no winner……I mean NO winner…..they let it go, block it best they can and walk off…….this is where he is and what he is doing. He tried in December….couldn’t pull it off…..BUT he is closer to me now, so Annie bar the door……..he is starting to fight to save himself from nothing but fear…..I am his fear of the unknown……..I was hoping he would accept his emotions and let them roll…but I don’t believe this will be the case. He is very strong willed and independent (Yes it is typical of Aqua). I doubt I will hear from him till later tonight or maybe tomorrow……I have been thinking about what I would tell you, and I pretty much have the conversation planned out for when he does call….but then, he will have one planned out also…..I just stood back and looked at this and wondered if it is worth it……truthfully, I am not so sure it is……Will I be hurt? Yes…Will I have ego damage? Yes (remember this is my first incounter with this friggin true love thing also, not just his)…..Will I be wounded beyond recovery? NO…I am an Aqua……Will I open up like this again with another man? No, I won’t chance it, but there will be another…..just NOT an Aqua.
We will see what tonight brings…..I will let you know…..I hope you and your Aqua have a really wonderful weekend!!
Don’t give up on him yet, when I said I was going to do that you said it was my ego talking! I hope he calls you but if he decides to see you (last minute) like he did last time, I would say NO. Again as you put it to me…. don’t be available for him so much this time.
My man and I had plans for last night, the plan had been made for a few days. I received a message three hours before we were due to meet saying “can’t do tonight” no explanation NOTHING!!! I didn’t reply to it, so will see what today brings.
They are so unpredictable at the best of times and it blows my mind how they are ALL the same!!
I hope all goes well when he calls you. Let me know what he has to say for himself this time.
He called…..nice like always. Super sweet…..I told him I thought he was needing space…he said yes he was…I then said…all he has to do is say it by email or whatever…to just stop the phone calls (which are many everyday every night) is not right and I am over that part of him. Next time I get one of the emails…it is not going to bother me in the least I realize and understand what it is he is doing……all he had to do was tell me. He said he doesn’t fell like he has to ask for permission….my voice dropped to octives…..permission….that is not asking for permission it is being truthful, honest, and fair, he needs no permission from me for anything….period and not to ever even think of saying that again…he is a grown man not a child talking to his mother. All is well.
It did have to do with out of state business…..and family issues. One that really made me feel bad for him, so I tried to tender my reactions. His trip back home may happen the end of this month or first of March. The major item is still on hold, he is trying to line everythng up that needs attention so he can do it all at one time.
Yes but where does that leave you. It all seems to be about him, doesn’t he think how it might be making you feel?
There is a very self serving…selfish side to this man…..I don’t like that aspect of him too much. On the other side, we have sweetness and light, which is typical of Aqua. I am not sure the good out balances the bad in this case. He is so afraid of commitment it throws me completely off. He even admits he is afraid. That holds me, maybe that’s what he wants. I know now, he is insecure of himself even though he states he isn’t. The jealousy factor is out of range for an Aqua…….I would have walked out by now, if I thought there was anything/anyone to be concerned about, or that made me jealous of him….that tends to be the Aqua way both male and female….take no chance of hurt………KNOW and out think your partner….get there first…be the deciding factor…make the choices…no room for mistakes…..independent of everyone one and everything. After all these years, I can so see how much I have missed by being like this…..LOVE issue is a huge “FEAR”…it sucks and it has made me come to realize what is truly important and what really doesn’t matter…….I can actually share decision making now…..but to accept someone elses whims/needs/selfishness and mine be ignored…put on hold…made to question like a teenager…it isn’t going to happen any longer……
I have thought about this for the past few days…really thought about it……this morning, I woke up in a new world. He is controlling me in many ways…ways I don’t like…I AM IN CHARGE OF ME…this part of the relationship ends today…….Do I love him…yes…Do i LIKE him …NOT so sure……YOU MUST LIKE someone before LOVE really works….(best of my limited knowledge of this love thing). I am not speaking of “Liking to be with them”…I mean “Like as a person”. The “Like” part may end or have ended, knowing that posibility, the “Love” part will follow soon…….gotta see what the day brings…..He is planning a “Straight…old fashioned “DATE ONLY” date for Thursday evening…..kisses, holding hands, talk, dinner….and thats all…..might be a good thing……Sounds good….might turn into a nightmare…..I am a bit cocked and ready for the TALK part….LOL
Oh I know just how you are feeling. As I told you the other day….I was meant to meet with mine and three hours before the planned time, he messaged me saying “can’t do tonight”. That was it…. no explanation NOTHING. Now he is not speaking to me, no contact at all. I’m thinking very hard what to do about this. He has been fine/we have been fine and now this AGAIN. I am leaving him to do whatever it is he is doing. I refuse to contact him when I have done nothing wrong.
Think our two men have been in contact with eachother 🙂 VERY ODD and I’m sick and tired of it.
Mine admits he has to take a few days out every so often, no phone calls no seeing anyone. Then he is ok again. So I guess that is what he might be doing. But like you say….all he had to do was TELL ME. I’m not a mind reader.
Why do they seem to think we have nothing better to do than sit around waiting for them to get there head out of there butt. Don’t they understand the more they do this kind of thing the more you might get fed up with it and move on. Or don’t they care??
All I can say is that a relationship with this man can be lethal. they can s…w your life up to the point of making loose yourself forever… I split up from my aqua man nearly a year ago and I’m still offering like crazy and paying the price of having given everything i had and even helped this man to stay alive for a kick in the teeth in return. I will give you the details of my story very soon.
How’s it going Aqua to Aqua??
Dear Rob,
Please write we are here to listen and offer support if we can.
With Love,
Annie x.
I too have had a very on and off relationship with an aquarius Over 2 years and a bizarre ending which have left its scars. Will come back later with details if there is anybody out there. My congratulations to the aqua to Aqua girl and all the others who have so much patience and do hope you are rewarded. Not easy !
Do tell your story, it would be interesting to know if you went through the same things we are going through. Why do they have to be such hard work??
Yes, me too! I have been on the aqua roller-coaster, wheel of torture (smile) but I am off it now (since December) and recovering nicely.
My story is very like others on this board. My relationship, if you could call it that, lasted for two years and for the record it was long-distance (he lived 500 miles away but in the same country) and I was 10 years older. We met in a bar in my town, he was on his own and I was sitting beside him and we just naturally fell into talking, we hit it off, it was love at first sight (or first bite ) and we took it from there. We mostly saw each other at my place as his family lives in my town. Anyway, without boring you too much with the details, let us say that around 4 months the initial excitement started wearing off (this happens) and one week, well he just disappeared from my mobile. No replies, just went silent, and for no reason, no row, no nothing. This was to become a pattern and it was usually me who ‘filled the gap’, I hate that as I am not a naturally born ‘chaser’. So I turned from the one who was being chased into the one who was chasing, now how did that happen? Believe me, I am not a clingy person, I am very independent, strong-minded, good career etc. But this guy turned me into somebody I did not recognise, if you can understand. I never thought I could be insecure, but when this guy went on one of his ‘My time’ breaks, it made me sort of…panic. The time we spend together was great, always great, he never cancelled our meet-ups. I think he was genuine but maybe unsure of what he wanted. And… the biggy and something you all have said, he was a closed book emotionally (well at least to me), he never opened up, never the love word, forget the commitment word – our relationship was very loosely defined. But I accepted him for who he was, took it at face value, did not demand any more than he seemed to want to give and hoped that in his own time, he might come forward. Well no, that was not to happen. Sigh… the ending. Just two weeks before Christmas, he was in my place (great weekend) and after some exchanges of text and then nothing. I sent him a ‘prompt’ message saying that he was allowed to say hello now and again. And then…the grenade in the form of a text msge landed just two days before Christmas, almost midnight on a Saturday night. What he said was that I was right (for saying what I had said) but he was having doubts. He went on to say that while he immensely enjoyed the time he spent with me, the time we spent apart did not create a big void in his life (charming) and then wondered if our relationship was meant to last and what did I think (question for me). It was almost Christmas and I decided to reply lightly and very graciously as much to leave the door open for communication as anything else and to leave it easy for him to follow up with a call. It never happened. I did receive a New Year message- text- but very impersonal and I replied in the same tone, mid-January and no more communication since, nor do I intend to initiate any. He is now like a ghost in my past and sometimes I wonder if I dreamt him up. And the text? did he mean to finish like that, like the back space on my keyboard or the delete key. Zap it is gone, it never existed. What to think, I really do not know. I am getting back to normal now and I must admit, I do no miss the ‘waiting’, just so many questions such as, is it normal to finish two years with a text msge, should I have done something? Was it a test, as one of my friends suggested. Sorry I have been very long!!
Wow every story I read on here always seem to go the same way. They just don’t seem to have a back bone, so never see things through.
If you have read my posts on here, you will see that things are pretty much the same for me. Mine isn’t speaking to me for whatever reason. The last time I saw him things were pretty fantastic and then he backs out on plans we had made tthen nothing from him for a few weeks..
I find it RUDE of them and don’t know who they think they are!!
The thing is I know he will be back, just as I know yours will be back(if you keep up the no contact) They are all like that and I have no idea why they have to waist so much time messing about.
At least yours had the guts to say bye, even if it was only a text. Mine has just gone missing. He could be dead for all I know!!
It will be three years for me in June that I met him. He is a lovely man when we are together but then he seems to go off on one without bothering to tell me.
This time he can stay lost for all I care, it has been such hard work and it really shouldn’t be like that. I’m even starting to keep my options open and that’s really not like me.
I feel for you as I’m right there in the same situation. But take my word for it, don’t contact him and he will be back. He wont be able to help himself. If you act like your not bothered they seem to start being bothered. It’s a lot like having a 2 year old in your life instead of a man 🙂
P.S. If he does get in touch with you, don’t reply for a day or two let him stew for a while see how he likes it. They hate it when things don’t go there way and they have even been known to turn up at your house to see where you are. I have done this before and it really gave him something to think about.
Yes, absolutely right. Dont move, dont give a inch and see what happens. Leave out the aquarius sign for a minute, enjoy yourself, and consider that despite the star sign, disappearing acts can be a form of control. How much do you love me and how long can you wait. Make him wait, be strong and good things will happen. I am sure of that and remember, you met him for some reason. Figure it out. For me, have no intention at all of contacting him. The buzz has gone. So glad. I am FREE.
Your so right about the control thing!! But when he gets in touch with you the control hands over to you. It’s what you want to do with it that counts.
I too am not contacting mine, he does what he does and I’m not sure I will be waiting for him this time. Life is short and I know that if I take him back again, the whole thing will start happening again.
Yes I met him for a reason and I really do love him, but every time we start to move forward HE MOVES BACK. How can I keep going on like that?? It’s never ending and I’m in a tail spin over it all.
If he comes back a new man and ready for something REAL then I would jump at it. But I’m not sure it will ever happen. 3 years is a long time to still be acting like this so maybe he is too scared or something. Anyway like I said, it’s for him to work out and with any luck grow up!! Not sure if I will still be around though.
These men must want to spend all there lives alone, having nothing more than flings here and there. What a sad life they will end up with.
I am so sorry for you and as you say, three years is a long time and you have been so patient and tolerant. You are a capricorn, right? Like me. Have you any way of finding out where he is at this precise moment in time? Do you know his friends and family and has he let you into this side of his life? I do not think he has disappeared but probably having a think, in his cave and will turn up out of the blue when he is ready. That is what mine was like. At one point I really started to move on, and back he came full of enthusiasm and ready to play again as if nothing had happened, really as if nothing happened and he did not offer an explanation until I asked him. How weird is that ! It turned out that he had lost his job and was in a bad place, and because of his man pride, did not want to tell me. He came back when all was well again. I do remember thinking it was strange that he did not want to share his problem with me as that is a form of bonding. After this episode, all was sweetness and light for a while only for it to start all over again, a foot forward for these guys and then a foot backwards. For me, it was so confusing. I really believe that you have to be soooo detached if you want to be with them otherwise you will always be in the waiting room, if you know what I mean. This means not just thinking like an aquarian but really acting like him too and then only you can decide if you want to and are able to do this, as you will probably have to get used to unpredicable. You will need to devise some strategy for when he decides to reappear for that is when we become most vulnerable, so happy to see them again that all is forgotton. Everything is so easy to say but when you are in love, the rule book goes out the window and in my case, I found myself making all sorts of excuses for his rudeness. And then, isnt it funny how you can lower your expectatations. For me, it was the norm to hear from him twice or three times a day, then once a day, then once every few days and so on until you are ok with once a week and less. Do you recognise this pattern? I think contacting and hearing from the one you love should be a source of joy and not suffering. The waiting thing is horrible and I really do empathise with you. I do hope you get a positive outcome and chin up.
This time I can say “Hand on heart” I don’t care about him! I don’t care for the going missing without so much as a BYE. I don’t like being messed about, and this has gone on far too long and I’m bored of it!
The very sad thing is I know we were getting very close, he was telling me so much of his personal things. He got more loving, hugs and kisses all the time. We were more relaxed with eachother than I have ever felt with him, the last time I saw him. Then I get “cant do tonight” about plans we had made. Then I dont hear from him.. to this day!!!
Like Aqua to Aqua said……it’s his problem, he scared himself, we were getting too close and it blew his mind!! If he would just say to me that he needed time out/a bit of alone time. I could and would respect that. But when he just goes missing with no clue as to how long will he be missing V Has he gone for good and doesn’t want to tell me?
That’s why I say they have NO BACK BONE. I would rather be told what’s going on than not be told anything. Anyway it’s not a problem for me now….when I get to the stage where I don’t miss him or don’t care why he just backed off. Then I know we are as good as done. It takes a lot for me to give up on something/someone. But I don’t do “DOORMAT” Not for him or anyone. So I guess that’s that, three years… up the spout…for no reason at all.
I’m happy with who I am and can live with the fact I am and have been a good person to him. We really did get along soooo well. I guess he had his reasons, but I don’t want to know em now. He has messed about “THINKING” too long.
Question for anyone out there!! If or when he does get in touch with me again. Do I tell him my reason for not wanting to see him again or do I just ignore him??
Aqua to Aqua
Where are you when I need you???
Come on Aman, you are the one who started up this blog and now youhave disappeared. What is your objective, I wonder.
I think that besides being busy in LIFE that the Men get tired of explaining themselves. And they don’t like explaining the obvious. That they cherish their freedom just as much as they do their LOVE Lives!
Things with my Aqua Guy are Great. His communication has improved(in the last couple of Months) and I’ve seen him maybe 6 times in the past 3 weeks. This is why I haven’t been posting. Didn’t wanna jinx it!
I think Aqua to Aqua will tell you to not answer him right away. I suggest waiting the same amount of days he waited b4 responding to you. Like giving him a taste of his own medicine!
@Elsey
I wonder if you know about the blog on the other side? Should I post the link so you can see my history with my aqua guy? lol
For some reason this is not letting me post…..I have tried 4 times in the last 20 minutes…..I will go off this site, have my dinner and try again….the “Leave a Reply” keeps covering itself up and seems to be swallowing up my words….”Need Aqua Help”….I will be back shortly……PROMISE!!!
hi ppl,
first of all i want to apologize for my english because its not my nativ language.im from Serbia and i got involved with American aqua guy..
i red all your posts and im so amazed how all the stories r so similar ..
my story is…
i used to work at some coffee restaurant where was coming my aqua guy..we always had great conversations and after few times hes coming i knew he was coming to c me..
somehow i stopped working at that place and we lost connection..
after few months of not seeing him at the restaurant i was going to my other job and stopped for morning coffee at Starbucks,and i was waiting for my friend to come out from the car and when i looked on other direction there was my AQUA man coming my way with huge smile because he saw me..we hugged and talked and for first time we exchanged our phone #s.i just want to say it was march 13th my birth day( so im pisces) and i woke up so sad because i was so far away from my familly and friends and basically all alone for my birth day.that morning i asked Universe to give me some great gift to make my day..
i know at that time he was my gift from Universe..
he ttold me whenever u want text me i would like to take u out..
so i texted him after like 8 hours..
we start texting every single day 100 times a day..
i had surgery few days latter so i was able to c him around two weeks after we star texting..
it turned out we live few blocks away from each other which was one in a raw of coincidence..
extreme physical attraction,we listen the same music..both of us were surprised abut music because we listen kind of music not all of ppl like.. same sence of humor,same movies..we could talk for hours and we could be silent together for hours..i have a son he has two kids..so both of us are single parents..
we start seeing each other but only at his place every 3-4 days or just once a week,enjoyed spending time together..we never had sex but we always made love( sex is different for me than having just sex)..
there was not one day not texting each other,he was always first one texting in the morning with gmorning beautiful or georgious or sexy..
we missed each other when when we dont spend time together..
so after 5 months he just vanished..i was texting him once a week but he never replayed and that was going on for a month..i just decided to go back home to my country for no reason and let it him know texting him..he replied right the way saying and begging to c me ..i didnt want to c him but he just didnt want to give up..so next morning he showed up on my door step..he hugged me and didnt want to let me go..so we start seeing again once a week but only at his place..he continued texting me every single day..we were talking something about super heroes and he told me im his super hero because every woman is super hero who can move a man by her actions..blah blah blah..that he has so much self controle because he would love to spend ever day with me but he is so busy and he has to have his own life ..again blah blah blah..ok i respect all of that..
so theat was going on next two more months..he dissapiered again week ago..he stopped texting..i texted him once he didnt replied and im not gonna bother again texting him..to remind you..for 8 months all together seeing we never went out,i never met his friends even he was saying you will meet my friend and kids blah blah blah..i know he will come back from nowhere again but i decided not to contact him at all..and yes when i decided to go back to my home country and he begged me to see me and we sterted again the same story i again made up my decision to stay here in the states because of him..when i saw him for the last time 10 days ago everything was great,we had great time,made love ..talked, laughed and 3 days latter he vanished..
i dont know anymore..
thank you :)))
I am going to try this again…..Maybe Aman is working on his website or something….I have tried again two other times and get no where with posting….Just FYI Aman…..
“Need Aqua Help”…..I can hear the amount you care in what you have written…..between the lines lady…between the lines! You have a three year commitment with this idiot…..do I think you can just stop it and pull back?….NO. I am thinking he has really scared himself this time….especially if you get along well with his child…..if the child likes you and enjoys being around you, that child is asking questions about you, bringing up your name and and wanting to discuss where you fit into daddy’s life……that is a side he didn’t share with you for almost 3 years…….he may have thought it wouldn”t matter and that it would keep everything the same on “his” playing field, but it won’t……and best I can see it didn’t….it opened up a whole nother commitment issue for him. NOW, I could be wrong (just saying I could be wrong… gives me a rash…LOL)…but then again I could very well be right. Each level of getting closer brings out the wild man in an Aqua…..fear of actually liking someone enough to LOVE them…fear that will develop into the “C” word (commitment)……fear of loosing someone….fear of them actually knowing you…you actually knowing him….it is a whole string of stupid things…..now that being said……you are back to the games…..If he does try to contact you…lets say he calls you at night…do not return his call till after 1:00 the next day….if he calls you in the moring or mid day…don’t return the call until the next moring mid day….don’t ask me why…just pay attention…there is logic there somewhere. Don’t be cold and un caring…and don’t ask tons of questions (you know he has driven by your house before to check on you…so don’t tell any lies)…..I do not believe he is out of your life nor do you want him out of your life…..that being said…if he asks to see you, if “YOU” want to get together….the answer would be “yes” but careful here….not a last minute thing and it would be best if you were busy over the weekend if that is what he requests…don’t let this be a mercy date..then of course you “need to be busy”…go to a movie with a friend…..don’t just stay home….and take your car so it is not in the driveway. The game is on if you want to continue to play in his world. Pretty simple. No explanations of what you have been doing…no questions about what he has been doing, unless it is brought up by him, then simple little questions nothing in depth…..last time he was busy with the child and caught up in a mess of stuff…remember they “Aqua” do not like to share information if they don’t feel a need…..be careful, they will bait you into asking stuff you don’t need, want or intend to ask…you already know this.
The fact that you can live with or without him and get on with your life is wonderful and excellent for you……but you need to know in your heart which you want to do……don’t get me wrong here….if he continues being a horses pa-toot I really believe there will come a time you can say I am over it and mean it……then moving on will be simple…..I am also saying that for myself and YES…you may throw that back at me if that times comes. LOL
As for me and my Aqua on the days I don’t want to choke him…we are really doing well….spending lots of quality time and having fun….he did tell me two weeks ago I scare him…..and he is afraid…..then he tells me how much he hates commitment and that it has never been an issue in his life……doesn’t finish the sentence….I know where he is going without him saying a word…and I know there may come a time, he will coil up like a snake and slither off again…….I believe he loves me…..I believe it scares him to death….and yes I believe he will disappear one more time…..that will be the one more time, he shouldn’t have done…I CAN live without him…I don’t want to….but I will manage and I will at that time and only at that time, be off the roller coaster.
Thanks Aqua to Aqua you are fab!!
I’m not sure how long this one is going to take. If our last meet wasn’t so fantastic I wouldn’t be so confused. We had a fantastic day, all was well. I didn’t go home til very late, we made plans for another day and then he backed out of that. He didn’t even ring me to tell me plans were off. He sent a message just saying “can’t do tonight”. I didn’t reply and I have just left things alone.
I do know what is going on in his head at the moment, I also know he has feelings that scare him. I know by the way he was talking to me about his life, his son, his job etc….. Things private that he didn’t have to tell me, as I never asked and never would have.
I am getting to the time where I have no fight left in me for this. I want something a bit more reliable from him. Or at the very least I wish he could say he needs time out for a while, to get things sorted in his own head.
Whats even worse my dad passed away two weeks ago and he doesn’t even know!! That hasn’t helped the way I am feeling about the whole thing. I had to deal with it on my own. I didn’t want to tell him as I didn’t want him to feel worse about things than he already does.
Yes I love him and what ever happenes I always will, but I don’t want to spend years going on like this. A lot of the time he can’t help the way he is but NEITHER CAN I. I meant it when I said I am starting not to miss him because what’s the point if you can’t rely on someone? I know I would be there for him if something happened to one of his family. But I didn’t feel like I could tell him right in the middle of him not speaking to me.
I wish he could get over the way he has to think everything through and through…….. Why can’t these men just go with the flow and see what happens. I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT HIM… You Aqua to Aqua know this so why doesn’t he??
I’m glad you let me know about yours, I didn’t know what was going on with you. So you forgave him in the end and all is well. I’m so happy for you, until it happens again. Dear me they are something else aren’t they?
I’m very sorry about your loss hun. I hope you’re doing ok. I don’t know what to say but am glad you have somewhere to vent. I wish he was there to console you(I think if he knew he might regret not being there). sighs
I know what you’re going through since this is the time both my Uncle and Father passed last year.
Sending Love and light your way.
Dear Need Aqua Help,
I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your Father.
It pains me that your Aqua was not there to hold you at such a time…………………………………………………………………………
I am sure you are feeling very numb or at least not quite sure of your feelings.
I would love to say make the best of this and dump this loser because he has no clue what is going on in your life, a lack of real interest or really the thoughtfulness that you need at this time.
He is your loved one and he is nowhere to be found!
Really from an outsiders point of view this is unacceptable.
We have learned that oh this is how they behave, as if that makes is OK.
Look I could go on and on and I do not wish to upset you anymore than you probably are. Yes it is very clear YOU LOVE this man
but PLEASE believe me you will do so much better. He so does not deserve you.
I am sorry if I have spoken out of turn but you are in a place at the moment where you need to protect yourself.
Please take care.
Sent with much Love.
Annie
Thank you so much for your kind words, that made me cry!! It means a lot to me that not every one is like him. It really says something when people I don’t know are kinder than the “man I love”.
Are you still with your Aqua or did you give up on him too? A bit of your story might help me, if you don’t mind of course.
Thank you again, you have no idea how much that meant
Dear Need Aqua Help,
I am glad I helped a little.
I do not wish to interfere in you life I was just giving my opinion.
To add to it yes I am with my Aqua 6 years now.
I was married to a Gemini who must have had a lot of Aqua in his chart (I did not know this at the time) He taught me everything I know about *ALOOFNESS*
I would say to your Aqua *If you wish to be alone, so be it* and then BAR the door.
Sit back and then you will know for SURE you REALLY have NOTHING to loose.
Again just running this past you.
With Love.x
Elsey
I have read your post again and you sound so much like me! I am a strong woman in everything I do apart from what I have put up with from this man. I have my own house, car, I even have my own business and doing very well. I have no idea why I have put up with his rubbish for so long and it stops from today!!
If or when he decides to get in touch with me, I will be the one doing the no reply. Only I won’t be changing my mind this time. I’M DONE.
I have very good friends and family and I know how they are there for me, and the fact that he NEVER seems to be speaks volumes!! What was I thinking?? Three years of TISH is not my idea of fun. I feel great now I have sorted it in my own mind. He doesn’t exist any more PHEW at last woman I hear you all saying. Wish me luck and I wish you all the same!!
hiiiii..i was readying all of ur posts sice u started i think 2011 if im right..i mean i started reading today but i started from the begging..i just want to say u r very strong g woman and its almost 2 yrs after and i hope everything is going good with you..im pisces and im single mom,very strong..i move mountains when i need to..but one aqua man..ughhhh..he is i have no more words for him..
Dear need Aqua help, so sorry you are suffering, it should not be that way at all. I must say that the words from Aqua to Aqua were so good, so kind, so compassionate, understanding and the fact that she took time out to reply in her own happiness is a great tribute to you and what you are going through. If you could just wait a little, I will reply with my own thoughts over the weekend, when I have a little more time. Like you I am busy with life. Much love. Elsey
Yes Aqua to Aqua has been fantastic with helping me, but this has to stop. I am now wanting to get to the point you are at, with getting on with life and putting this behind me (as best as I can)
It’s been a waiting game on and off with him and just don’t know how to do it anymore.
Even Aqua to Aqua called him an idiot 🙂 He has been ignoring me for six weeks again and I really feel a mug and it’s not going to happen any longer. I’m cross with myself really as I’m the one that let this go on and on.
I mean what I say and I’m going to let this one go. There is only so much waiting that should be done then you just have to admit defeat. Aqua to Aqua has said that about her man too in the past.
We all have an end of the road and this really has to be it for me.
I’m fine about it, not even upset, I spent a good deal of last night thinking about this and he has made his choice and I’m not going through this again when I have done nothing wrong.
Aqua to Aqua I really do value your input but I can’t keep on like this. If he is scared he should be a man and say so, like your man did. Last time he did this it lasted so long and I can’t go there again. All I wanted to do was see him, not ask him to move in with me!!! Please don’t think I’m ignoring your words, I just don’t know why I should suffer for something that is his problem.
Hello everyone
The history of my relationship with my aqua can be read on my other posts above.
Update on my situation,
He came home on the weekend of his birthday, and we ended up fallin out the night before he went back. It started off because I wanted to know why he had started not to call me as often and not answered my calls on occasion, I just wanted an explanation and to get things more on track like it was before christmas. I know aqua’s hate being questioned in this way, but because he lives away I wanted to ask him face to face while I had him so to speak.
Anyway surprise surprise no answers where coming my way, except poor excuses. The leo in me would’nt let it drop, I lost my temper, he woul’nt argue back and stormed off instead!
I left it an hour then text him in no uncertain terms that although I loved him I had been a fool to allow him back into my life, he could not give me what I wanted and said goodbye.
The day after I regretted the whole argument and sending the text,
I was heart broken and had to use all the strength I could muster not to call him. A week went by without any contact it was becoming unbearable, the realization that I’d said goodbye to the man I loved filled me with sheer panic.
So I decided to call him and try to put things right, he did’nt answer my calls for two days, on day three to my surprise he answered.
The conversation started off quite frosty on his side, and I killed the ice by telling him I was sorry anyway the outcome was he forgave me and still wanted to be with me.
I’m just reading that back and thinking Its always me saying sorry when most of the time its him what’s in the wrong, I really AM A FOOL.
Since then I have had a couple of calls from him sweet words, then a week with no contact ARGGGHHH feel like screaming nothings changed
,
Then he calls and says he’s coming home for easter weekend to see me, happy again.
Five days later he calls he can’t get time off work so he’s not coming!
Not happy so I tell him theres no point, he then promises he WILL come home,and then says we can go on holiday again later in the year. I say don’t make promises he can’t keep this annoys him and we end call
. No contact for another week, I call him a number of times he does not answer. To call his bluff I get my friend to call him he answers first time!!!! He tells her I had told him to get lost and he has not answered my calls because he is stubborn then adds don’t tell her I said that.
I call him again……wrong I know….. bunny boiler springs to mind…. but Is it so wrong to want answers?
He still not coming home easter,so I said I will come see you he said no! So I just blurted out its over isnt it? He changes the subject and starts blaming his boss that he can’t come home.
I ask him the question again he replys ” If that’s what you want” He hangs up on me!!! OMG he infuriates me! He will just not answer a question.
I feel I’m going insane, I’m upset, insecure, even feeling has he met someone else. He has me acting and feeling how I did all those years back when I was with him before, and I truly vowed I would never let myself sink so low again,
I really love my aqua but I hate myself for being drawn into the desperation I feel, I feel like he has my heart in chains and he is as free as a bird, we are told they have no emotion so is it hopeless to hope he might remember why he wanted to come back to me after all those years apart, or should I try to forget it all.
I think deep down I know the answer but would still like to hear your thoughts,on a more positive way I could resolve things, because all my thoughts are so negative at the moment I can not see a clear way forward at all
Thanks
.
Ps….. He has always said he wanted to come back living where I am if he could get a job, we have even talked about living together which he said he would love to do, but now I feel like he’s done a U turn of some sort and changed his mind about everything, but he is just not willing to tell me the reason why.
It feels so cruel in the way he acts, if he does’nt want me he should just tell me, its as though he thinks well if I don’t contact her or answer her calls she will get the message, is it common for them to do this to end things? Or would they rather you ended things as to not feel bad or guilty?
Is he keeping me there to keep his options open? Or is he simply punishing me for perhaps him feeling hurt?
Need aqua help I wish I was at your stage and had the strength to let go, some days I can, some days I miss him so much ;(
Thanks again
I feel every thing you are feeling, but when they are just plain rude and acting like a boy in school there comes a time where you have to give in. You are hurting when you are with him and you will be hurting without him. But you can’t make them do anything they don’t want to do.
Mine doesn’t even know I have had enough, I have just left him alone, I don’t even want to ring or text him. If he contacts me, then I will tell him…. They seem to think everything is up to them and we don’t have any input into the relationship at all…. In the past I backed off/didn’t contact and he hated it. Was ringing all the time and even came to my house. He was in panic mode and he thought I was gone for good. All was good after that. Things were even good/more than good the last time I saw him. Then he just cancels plans and I have heard nothing from him.
I know he is in a panic about how well things have been going, but 1. He could tell me this. 2. He could say he needs time alone to think things through. I would have no problem with that, but when he just walks away and I have no idea why. That just stinks…. and I know it will keep happening over and over again.
I had that respect when he thought I had gone, and I have done nothing for that respect to go again. I don’t chase him, I don’t call him and I don’t turn up at his house un-invited. So there is no need for his actions what so ever.
I would say to you, don’t panic, don’t call or text. Just wait and see what he does. Do something he won’t expect you to do. Make him panic a bit for a change.
Please remember if you do get back together, there is a fair chance HE WILL DO IT AGAIN!!!! and again. Try to be strong and make him think he has lost you. They really don’t like it when you are playing them at there own game. It gives you a boost and makes you feel in the driving seat for once. DON’T act desperate cos they do get a kick out of it. They are twisted dudes when they think they have you where they want you.
Hi,
Dr Phil always says how this working for you all?.
Sadly some people (those who take advantage) treat you how you let them treat you.
If you call and he wont answer its simply because he does not want too. ! The more you keep calling the less respect he has for you, your simply too predictable and available.
Mirror them, that is how they deal with things and annoying the hell out of them is not going to make them change.
Where is the mystery the challenge the allure?.
If he is not breaking his neck to see you sorry but is that not the only answer you need or do you really believe you could coax them into it.
I think Any Man likes someone he is not too sure about, its called keeping him on his toes that way your less likely to end up on your knees
Mutual respect goes without saying I know I could live with someone I no longer loved but not a minute with someone I did’nt respect.
This is only my opinion and if you can take something from it I will be very happy.
Sent with much love.
Bit harsh for someone who is in pain with her situation. We all do silly things when we don’t have a clue what’s going on in our mans head!!
So very sorry,
I really did not wish to hurt anyone and I really did try to speak in general. If anyone can take anything out of what I have written i.e. the sad truth I would be very happy.
To anyone who is heartbroken over an Aqua man I would say please dont BULLSHIT yourself.
Like it or not its as honest as it gets.
Take care.
WITH MUCH LOVE
Annie.
Thanks always for your reply
Annie not got a clue who Dr Phil is?
Maybe your right, but I think with mine its more to do with being stubborn, never in the wrong frightened of getting hurt, which he has admitted to me.
Annie I always put in 100% into a relationship and expect no less from my partner now that is where RESPECT does come in.
It also goes for a breakup as well, you SHOULD command answers when things start to go wrong, how else can you 1) Try to resolve any issues or 2) Get closure.
We are not a couple of kids, Its not a case of being predictable and available its about acting your age and being mature about things
Its not in my nature to ignore his calls thats not being available its just common courtesy.
At the end of the day I can’t make him talk to me I know that, but at least I can say well I tried, after all I do love him but what will be will be
Need Aqua Help…..how bad I feel for you that your dad passed away!! I lost mine in 04…it is a ruff time to go through to do it by yourself is worse. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are in a bad time right now and you need hugs and the ability to share your grief with the man you love….it just plain sucks! I am here if you want to talk about your dad and how you are feeling…I send you long distance hugs, my tears for you and a heartfelt sense of grief in your loss.
As much as I don’t want to address this in this writing I feel I need to and I hope in some way it helps you…there is no comparrison in your loss with what I am going to say
FIRST….AMAN….please, there is something wrong with the web site…..could you please check it! It is still swallowing up what I am trying to write….the “reply section” either drops or the email section keeps coming up in the area I am trying to write in…I need to know if it is the site or my computer….Thank YOU!
I will try again…sorry Need Aqua Help…back in October I had to put my 16 year Shih Tzu down…it killed me, he was my baby…I hand delivered him (sad day), anyway I was amonth into this Aqua to Aqua thing…when I told him I was crying…he was silent..then he said there was nothing he could do….that was a blow to me….I thought him heartless and cruel….the next thing I got was and email from him stating how sorry he was for what I had to do and that he couldn’t help…then came the connection, he had lost one of his son’s…couldn’t/wouldn’t talk aboutit, but he then stated he doesn’t deal well with grief….it took him 2 days to ask me how I was doing…..my point here….your Aqua might not have been of any use at the time of your loss anyway….men in general don’t deal with loss in any kind of proper way and certainly not like a woman does…they hide feelings from themselves and from you….BUT Aqua’s are strong and they expect you to be also….we swallow grief and move on….normal people don’t do that. It is like pulling down a curtin between us and life, blocking it when needed. I will tell you, he will feel like a complete tode when he does find out, because 1) he didn’t know…2) you didn’t (couldn’t and shouldn’t have contacted him to tell him..good girl) 3) because he was not there for you. Those facts, once learned, might send him into the woods for afew more days. He won’t like himself much….IF he asks “why didn’t you let him know?” Your response is simple “Why would I have? “You” dropped out of my life several weeks ago. It was apparent to me, you would not have cared.” Then DO NOT belittle it…..how ever the conversation ends let it go…ball is in his court…..YOU however, have the right to continue to play the game “when” he calls back…it is YOUR decision…..IF YOU are truly ready to say “Screw this, I am over it, I am done” and not look back or wonder about him anymore then that is what YOU need to do. I am behind you 100%. No relationship is easy…in a relationship, it takes only one of you to give up on it and it dies….with an Aqua, it is harder because, you don’t know if they are done or not…completely unfair to the other party!! Mine has taken his “two breaks”, just gone like the wind, note saying I will talk to you tomorrow…then nothing for a week one time, 3 days the next….I told him “Next time you need a break say so…” I am waiting for it….BUT again yours does weeks on end…..I don’t know that I could/would handle that…it is a bit long for my way of thinking…again, you have heart involvment here….don’t hurt yourself by either staying in it and beating yourself up over him or leave because you don’t know what elsse to do…..If you are done then you need to be done….not maybe done, what if he calls??? NO yelling and don’t be hateful…be calm, cool, collected…make up your mind before the phone rings or he stops by….be ready with the correct answers and ready to stand behind EVERYTHING you say to him. IT IS YOU NOW…..YOU decide what is right for YOU…..If you can disconnect your heart from your mind, you will do well and you can move on…if not….You will hurt you more than he ever can! I am here for you…God Speed………
It is the website not your computer. The same thing keeps pappening to me.
I don’t know what to do or how to feel at the moment, everything seems to be REALLY SAD and I’m best to sit back and do nothing about anything. Not up to me anyway as he has gone missing and I’m not contacting him.
Maybe this time he has someone else! I have no idea what’s going on but if I can’t feel ok about ringing him when I need a hug, or to talk then I know this is not for me. I will give it some more thinking time and if I don’t hear from him then I’m done and I won’t even bother to say so!!!!
It’s a one way relationship all the time and it would be so nice to get something back from him without having to wait weeks, but this is never going to happen.
The other things I am dealing with at the moment are making me stronger and it really does make other things clearer (life is too short) I want and deserve to be happy/loved. If he doesn’t know me by now and want what I have to give then there is nothing I can or want to do about it.
He went away at the wrong time this time, I have other things to deal with. If I don’t hear from him by next week (special date) I will delete everything he ever sent me and move on. I really don’t need this and I deserve better. I will just cut him out of my life without a word to him. That’s how he seems to do things so that’s the way it will be.
Don’t get me wrong I am hurting and it won’t be easy to do, but I have nothing to lose as I’m not seeing him anyway.
Aqua to Aqua, if your post tries to go missing again, put your courser(arrow) into this box and click once. That’s what I do and then it goes back to normal.
I will re read your post for more info. I don’t seem to be taking everything in at the moment.
I mean put the arrow into the box you are typing in and click once.
I have re read the last few of your posts and I would like you to sum thinks up for me, to see if I read things right.
You think he scared himself due to us getting on so well of late. You think he has gone off to think about things and sort his feelings for me out. You do think he will be back if I leave him alone. My feelings about other things are making me question everything and I don’t want to do anything rash when I don’t know how he is feeling.
In short should I just wait and see??
Hi Lozzy,
I take on board your very eloquent answer.
The fact that you said you were a Leo like myself shines through especially where you say you COMMAND answer’s, lol!
At the risk of really annoying you I must ask again “how’s it working for you) So very very Leo.
Neither did I say don’t answer their call’s on purpose I just mean please don’t wait on them.
They know what they are doing I’m just saying when it is in this stage please do not buy into it.
If he call’s excellent but that is the time you have him and it is how you react that predicts what will follow, be polite, cool and ladylike if you have something to say, say it in a matter of fact way do not sound too eager, I would say if they are scared the best they can handle is a friendly approach.
Leo’s like truth. complete honesty. real warmth and LOVE how many boxes are they ticking!
They also LOVE a challenge but an honest one, they do not play fair and this play’s with OUR brain trying to work it out, please don’t waste your time!
The good news here is I know what a very strong woman you are
BELIEVE.
I truly hope I have not offended you.
With MUCH Love.
Annie, you hit the nail on the head ! Be ladylike, be dignified, on no account say anything you may later regret and above all, do not beg or beseech, eventhough it is understandable when the heart is involved but puts you in the victim position. Hate that! And then need Aqua help, if I may use an analogy to put this awful waiting game in perspective…imagine you are in an airport and you are waiting for your flight. Then imagine the flight is cancelled and you have to wait for another one. Then the timetable breaks down and you now have no idea if your flight is leaving. You wait for an hour or two and you still have no idea. You hope and wish it will arrive and still you wait and you wait time and you are in the dark, frustrated and without any information, no indicators and you are no getting mad because you need to go somewhere. After 6 or 7 hours of this then you are fed up and look for an alternative means of transport. For me, that is where you are at but you have been in that airport waiting far too long and you do not deserve it all. Try, just try to take that alternative means of transport which may mean giving up on the old means and going towards something or somebody new. The waiting game is soul destroying and not fair. I do hope I have helped and not hindered. X
Fantastic way of putting it, thank you.
And then…after those philosphical thoughts you could try two things… Send him a light text asking him if there is any space for you in his ‘bermuda triangle’ that he has disappeared into ( humour is great)… or a bunch of daffodils sent to his home, announcing spring time is on its way and significant of new beginnings. Anonymous but he will know it is you. he may just respond. It is fun and not aggressive but loving and thoughtful, they like that. Original ideas appeal. Inventive and not boring, remember, they hate ‘boring’. Lol
Haha did you try any of those things with your man. I always do fun things, leave a wrapped up pack of sweets he likes as I’m leaving, sending fun texts etc…. but when he is of “on one” I have to leave him alone cos nothing works when he is in thinking mode. I even know it’s not just me he does this with but it doesn’t make me feel any better about it.
If it continues he will have made the choice all by his self!!
Elsey
AND B……….R…….E……..A…………T…………………………..H
I hope you remembered to come up for air!
That was really something, at least if Mr Aqua ring’s tonight you are probably lying down in a darkened room somewhere.
I don’t mean to laugh I really enjoyed that.
However I’m sending you a great big Hug anyway.
Have a great weekend, take care.
Sent with Love,
Annie
Need Aqua Help…yes my dear you read it right…..and you are doing right……”NO ONE” and I mean “NO ONE” can direct you…you must do it all….you must Lead, follow and get out of your own way. Take your time…..think it through, but don’t over think……just be solid with your decision and be happy with it, whatever it turns out to be….(make NO calls or texts…no matter what you decide)….he is out of the loop, for whatever reason….you decide, if he is allowed back in….should it come to that. My best words of advice…..remember the roller coaster, it starts and stops…really think this through (“Later, not now”)….do you want back on the ride? Or do you close the gate, move on, never look back…..I want YOU to be happy….I don’t want to see you go through this again…….sometimes it is just NOT worth the effort…..and it is best to move on…..sometimes?????? This is not a time for decisions, it is just discusions….you have too much on your plate right now….don’t push yourself into anything you will hate yourself for later…regert sucks……no matter who has been through what with their Aqua……this is about YOU and YOUR Aqua……each relationship is different.
Thank you for your reply, I will continue as I am and do nothing. Not going to wait as long as I did last time, I do know that much. I will just let it go….in it’s own way.
Thank you my friend you have been a star to me!!!!
Need aqua help, have you ever had dreams about him. I did about mine, on his birthaday 11 feb, when I delibertated all day about sending him a message but decided against it. an amazing dream but I do not know what it meant.
Yes I do but that is because they are always on your mind, even when you don’t realise it!! I am trying to keep sooooo busy so I’m not doing too much thinking about him. But when it comes to night time and you end up having a dream about them there isn’t a thing you can do about it. Even when you think they are not on your mind THEY ARE!! Spooky isn’t it?
What ever will be will be with mine and you have already finished with yours….but for some reason you just can’t totally forget. They are special people….but at the same time VERY HARD WORK…If I could hate mine, I could forget. But whatever happens with us I could never hate him. I remember all the cute things he has said and done for me and I just plain melt.
They are there in your mind/heart and it seems to be a power that they have. What I love even more about them is they don’t even know they have it.
They are LOVELY people with a mixed up view of relationships!! But as they say “if you love someone, let em go” if they come back they are yours.
I don’t think you are over yours yet, are you???
Hi Need aqua help
Just reading your post and to pick up on the saying “If you love someone let them go, if they come back they are yours” Well I did let him go and he came back 11 years later, but he did exactly the same thing again.
Seems to be no happy ending with these people althought they promise you allsorts, Im beging to think its all a fantasy in their heads.
The trouble is its hard NOT to belive them and when you get sucked in its as though they suddenly realise their fantasies are becoming reality in their partners eyes and then they panic and do a complete U turn.
The worst part of this action is they fail to even explain to you their fears why they act like this, if they did it would make life so much easier.
The “relationship” if thats what you could call it lol, just becomes one big guessing game, trying to second guess THEM most of the time. It chips away at you emotionaly and I have to say mentaly as well, thats why a lot of the time we can’t switch off thinking about them, I myself keep going over events, conversations to try find clues which would account for his pattern of behaviour!
Is this all worth it I ask myself and my conclusion is probably not, admitting it is the easy part, its the letting go that’s hard……
Annie
Hello my fellow Leo, how do you get on with your Leo/Aqua partnership?
My sun sign is Leo with Aquarius rising.
Nothing we can do, we either sit tight and wait or we try to move on. I do think (hope) both our men will be back, but if mine comes back we need to have a huge talk about things first. I can not and will not go through this again. It’s so out of order when we have done nothing wrong!! As you know I’m not sure of my feelings so I will have to wait and see when he decides to pop back up again.
When you find yourself thinking about him, try to remember the happy times and forget about everything else. Thats what I do and I find it helps.
Hello Lozzy,
I hope you are well today enjoying your freedom and preparing yourself for what is to come………good things.
My story would be very long and I don’t really do that but briefly.
I had been on my own a long time that’s how I wanted it and I do that VERY well.
A younger very attractive man came to live close by, I called him the young boy and I thought he was very nice.
I knew by the way he stared at me he found me attractive and I thought he is silly he has no chance. He SEEMED very uncomplicated and I seemed to bump into him all the time and he had such a lovely smile but I wasn’t in the slightest interested. there was a shyness about him (like myself) and I did think he would make someone a lovely boyfriend.
My beloved sister had been killed in a RTA and it was around Christmas time. I had gone into town but they were playing Christmas music it got to me and I had to leave I was driving out the road when I saw the young boy coming I was feeling terrible and I looked at him and he stared at me and I will never ever forget the feeling I got and I was hooked and that is SO not me.
He chased me because I was scared I am older than him although he did’nt think I was. I Iove him because he was so gentle with me. He is the big talker I am quiet I feel so at ease with him. I always say he is devoted to me and no he is’nt overly demonstrative and yes he can and does loose it at times but he knows he could loose me. I had a bad marriage and I would rather leave than repeat that and he KNOWS I would even if it would kill me to do so. When we have a row and fall out he is the one who has sleepless night’s he will eventually do the running which makes me know how much he loves me. He is very kind with a real softness at times and sometimes my bones just ache for him.
I know you are at present having a terrible time so I hope I have’nt went on too much.
With Love
Annie
Dear aqua help, you suggested that I was not really over him. I thought about that, and the answer is yes, I am over HIM but not the relationship which hobbled along for more than two years. What I really mean is that now I am in a phase of figuring out why, in the first place, I would have attracted somebody in my life who felt he had the right to appear only to disappear, why would I have accepted somebody who did not chersish and adore me? Who felt it was ok just to come and go. I mean, accepting somebody in your life who feels free to do that. That is really what I need to figure out before moving to the next man. So, to conclude, there are two despicable ways for anybody to leave a relationship. The first is a disappearance act, so bad and no closure, followed closely bt a text message and I am not sure which is worst. Both invalidate and sorry, they SHOUT no backbone. And then to finish on a lighter note, and referring to a previous post, no I never tried the daffodils but I did try the bermuda triangle which had immediate effect as my boyfriend at the time didi not know what it was and replied to me to find out. Lol lol.
I would much rather have a text message than not get closure. You are right and I have said it in one of my posts… they have no backbone… They can’t just tell you “sorry this isn’t working for me”. They don’t want any grief from you, if they did do that. The thing is… I wouldn’t give him any grief…If he was man enough to say he wanted out, I would be fine with that and respect his wishes. To just go missing without a word is mind blowing and very RUDE.
I am doing nothing about things at the moment, but if he does try to just walk back in after all this messing about…I’m not sure what I will do. I think it’s sad that after all this time he doesn’t think I deserve so much as a bye!!
Haha mine wouldn’t have known what I meant by Bermuda Triangle either. They are not that good at things like that are they?
Just checking on you guys…especially Need Aqua Help….You sound better…..I want to throw something in here….Aqua’s don’t mean to go missing…they get side tracked and what ever side tracks them becomes their focus….not much else…when they get whatever it is straightened out then they re-focus on what they were doing before the new thing got their attention….that is “NOT” to say another person…just something else….We are not the people persons, everyone thinks we are….we can live nicely without people. Sounds odd I know, because we are kinda out there…but it is a fact….even when we are busy doing something else, we think about what we should or shouldn’t be doing…I said in a post awhile back…”To know…to love an Aqua, is to truly know the meaning of unconditional” Fair??? NO! Fact? Yes. My friends get aggitated becasue I don’t call as often as they would like for me to….sometimes weeks or a month….it is because I am not wanting to talk…chit chat…worry about anything other than what it is I am suppose to be doing…..I take alot on myself, I work through their issues with them till they are satified and happy…then I need a break for me…..Selfish?….Yes…..It took me years to learn and accept I could do that for me…..other wise it is self distruction and then I would be no good for any of them or mysself. Have they come to my rescue with thoughts and ideas? Communication? Yes they have….but in doing so, did they swallow me with concerns? Yes they did…They didn’t mean to, they just wanted to help me as I helped them. Aqua’s sort and ponder…. We can do A to Z in a heartbeat, but then we have to sort…..we don’t do knee jerk or decide on anything with emotions, it is all thought out…if it takes 2 seconds or 2 years….much thought went into it whatever it is! Just wanted to share….LOL
Time will tell if you should wait or not….be YOU enjoy whatever it is you do…..with whoever you do it with…..DON’T JUST SIT AND WAIT on him…..if you get asked out…go…it doesn’t mean and it shouldn’t mean (unless you are ready to give up on your Aqua)…that you need to sleep with anyone else….just have fun…be independent…..do nothing that will cause YOU issues either with him or without him…You have to answer to YOU.
Thank you, you have put my mind at rest a bit. He has told me more than once that he doesn’t mean to do the things he does, “it’s just the way I am” he says. And a lot of the time if we have made plans and he backs out, I do nothing. It’s that part of him that get’s me angry. He either backs out or WORSE stands me up!! I have told him many times “I don’t do all dressed up with nowhere to go” so I always tend to have a PLAN B.
Sounds daft! But I would have no problem with him having his “thinking time” I’m not a demanding person, it’s just the fact that he goes off without a word. I don’t even know if all is well with him or his child!! I worry that something may have happened, and then feel bad that I can’t/won’t get in touch/ask him.
I understand he is a thinker, I do quite a bit of it myself. I just wish he could respect my feelings and tell me he needs “time out” or something…….
I do go out with friends, I have had the odd date too, but I always feel bad about it when I get home. It’s like I’m going out with someone “dating” behind his back. As for sleeping with someone else…I could NEVER DO THAT…to him or to me. Couldn’t live with myself or look him in the eye again. A one man woman…that’s me! I have always been the same. Even when I was in the worst marriage ever, for over 20 years. I could never have gone behind his back.
I’m sure your right and he will be back…I wish he wouldn’t leave things so “up in the air”. And yes I do think it might have something to do with me having a little friendship with his child. I hadn’t thought of that…until you said it…..maybe he is worried we look too much like “a little family”. I wish/hope he sorts things out soon, I NEED A HUG, it’s been a hard few weeks all in all. Thank you Aqua to Aqua for helping me understand!! Think I would have gone MAD if I hadn’t had so much help from you!!
Do you ever go missing on your man?? Or is it just him that does that to you? If you do, how does he take it, is he fine about it seen as he has done it to you? I’m just trying to work out if this might be a way to go for me and my man in the future!! Assuming mine comes back of course.
Good morning…I gotta get ready for work….but wanted to let you know that I don’t ever go missing from him….my Aqua side is up for the challenge….my Capricorn side gets upset from some of his stupidity. I am not sure which side holds me with him and keeps me dedicated, but I believe it is Aqua…..Capricorn would be spiteful and demanding, while Aqua understands….he hasn’t gone missing in awhile…however I can feel the stress growing….even on my side, due to the increase of being together, and knowing each other more…I am feeling a bit of “flight or fight”….just keeping it lite…..trying not to lace up my tennis shoes.
I was in my first marriage 23 years…no cheating…not built like that….I don’t believe an Aqua would cheat unless provoked or is less than dedicated…I think you’s is more dedicated than he thinks and it concerns him, BUT lack of communication does not change the way he feels about you nor the want to be with you…it is a space issue….however he can’t walk on you either and YOU are standing strong on that issue…VERY proud of you in this…Glad you are getting out and going…do not feel that you are cheating…you are not, as long as there is not bed involved…LOL….I will write more when I get home….Kisses & HUGS!!!!
Well I for one hope you manage to stick it out with your man. Although the Aqua to Aqua thing can’t be easy at times!! If you both start to stress over the relationship, it must be hard to work out at times. You are strong I’m sure you will work it out and be happy. At least yours is reliable, that has to be a plus!!
I hope your right about mine and he is thinking about me and wanting to be with me. I just wish I knew for sure. If we can manage to work out (him tell me) how he feels when he does go missing, at least I would know how to deal with it better.
Still not heard from him and the more time passes the more I think he may have cut his losses. If he is scared of our future together there isn’t much I can do. People say no news is good news! I’m not so sure.
Dear need aqua help. Checking back iin here after days of absence and catching up. First, I think you are fantastic to keep so strong and hold it all together, that is really something. How painful. I really think that if this man had really want to cut the cords with you, then he could have done it using any of the new technologies now available, text, email or a good old fashioned letter or even voice message. But he hasnt. It may mean he does not want to. Could he be just going through a rough time, sick, jobless, who knows really? There are some things that are difficult to share, even with somebody you are close to. I have learned that these aqua guys like to figure things out on their own and then pop up all shining new. Blessings.
Time will tell I guess 🙂 He has done this before but he WON’T BE DOING IT AGAIN. If he does come back we will be having words!!
Hope you are keeping well and staying strong??
Well I have no idea what is wrong with me today!! I just can’t get him off my mind. I have never felt like this before and it’s weird. I keep telling myself to get a grip….keep busy etc….but my mind won’t shut down.
This is a new one on me, I’m a strong person as a rule, what the heck is going on?? He has gone missing before and yes it was hard to deal with but this is something else!!! It will pass I’m sure, have any of you gone through feelings like this when your man has gone missing? Or is it just me?
Yes and I’m pretty sure that YOU are heavy on HIS mind just as much. But they sure make you doubt that don’t they?
The hateful part about them disappearing is that we’re left questioning/wondering and worrying about the ‘relationship’ and THEIR feelings!
But again like you said: No matter how busy you try to keep yourself you just can’t get em out of your mind. I believe that when this happens that it is bc we are on their minds too.
I have a lot of reading to do here woaaa
Have a good weekend Everyone!
I heard from him last night (at last). He sent a text message asking me if I wanted to call round to his. He only gave me an hours notice and I was busy anyway! I didn’t reply….he then went on with 4 more text messages…I still didn’t reply. Now I don’t know how to go about what to do next. He needs to understand that he is not the only one with a life. He can’t leave it weeks and then want me to see him at a moments notice.
I don’t really want to explain my feelings about him going missing without a word by a text message. But I don’t want to be available either… I wouldn’t have seen him last night even if I could have….he made me mad thinking he could get in touch whenever he wanted and I would jump at the chance. What is my best way forward??? I really don’t want to get this wrong!!
Hello Need Aqua Help
No easy answer to this, what did your gut feeling tell you?
I got to a stage with mine I had so many negative feelings, and I don’t know…. call it women’s intuition…. I knew things couldn’t carry on as they were, that’s why I suggested it was over, but the coward couldn’t even answer wiith a straight “YES” or “NO” but “IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT” What a cop out!!!!!!
Part of me wishes with all my heart he would get in contact its been 2 weeks today since we spoke, I will not contact him although its killing me, it seems to be getting harder than easier.
I also have moments when I think with my head ( not many ) lol, I AM better OFF the roller coaster, like you I have been through the distance thing so many TOO MANY times, it does drive you insane, and the feeling that’s its over more than its on.
I’m sick and tired of making excuses for these people, Need Aqua Help would you do it to him? NO. Would I do it to mine? NO. And why not? BECAUSE WE LOVE THEM and why should you treat the person you love like they don’t exist? Its wrong on so many levels.
Then come the excuses, I’ve been so busy…. only takes a minute to make a call/text…..Needed space/thinking time WHAT FOR WEEKS ON END???? Oh my heart bleeds for them, their behaviour is so selfish. ERR HELLO?? There is 2 people in this relationship not just YOU!!!!!!! OMG!! I am getting so angry….and breath…. LOL.
The above was my head talking now my heart is another story…..My emotions are all over the place like grief, I am going through all the stages, and I know about grief like you, my dad died, and my mum’s sister in 2009, and my mum died and another of her sisters in 2010, losing both parents within 14 months of each other was devastating to me, If i’m honest I think I am still grieving now.
Then some 2 years later my lost love returns to me and truly lifted me up for a wonderful 7 month’s, and then let me fall lower than ever, why? because he could’nt deal with emotions? Why? because he needed space? Why? because he changed his mind? Why? because he had met someone else? So many questions and no answers so cruel.
Need Aqua Help sadly in my heart I am still yearning for my aqua to come back to me to make everything better, but in my head I know it won’t be long before the whole pattern repeats itself again 😦 I have not got the strength to keep bouncing back, its making me ill.
I truly hope yours pans out better than mine did, and what ever your decision i wish you luck and hope things work out the way you want.
Lozzy
Mine has been gone for weeks now decides to pop back up as if I would be sat around waiting for him. I still haven’t got back to him after he text last night because I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to rush to see him, as the whole thing will start over again. I don’t want to ignore him either, not really my style!
My gut is telling me he is scared, we were getting along better than ever. Then he backed off without a word. I’m sure he loves me, he even told me once 🙂 (he backed off that time too). I’m not sure he knows how to handle it though. I only want him back if we can sort out “his thinking time” or whatever it is!! I only want him to tell me if he needs time out/thinking time. Not much to ask is it.
Your man cam back after such a long time, for a reason….he wanted YOU. I think he is doing the same as mine did and will be back. Stick to what you are doing (no contact). It seems to take time with them but they do sort it out in the end. It’s up to us if we want them back. If he does come back you really need to have a long talk with him. He needs to understand how it makes you feel when he goes missing…come to that, so do I with mine.
They are mind blowing, I have never put up with such rubbish from a man before, and I’m not sure why I am now……Yeah right…I LOVE THE BONES OF HIM…..not sure he deserves it though.
Stay strong your doing great. Sit back wait and see, it won’t be long before he wants to know why you haven’t been contacting him.
Aqua to Aqua sorry I keep bugging you about my probs but your so spot on with advice. I hope you read my above post soon as I don’t want to ignore him too long. Just not sure what my best move is, so he doesn’t do it again.
Me too. I got caught into the net..I have been involved with Mr Aquarius for more than two years now and it is the most annoying thing, this distancing thing. He has been silent for nearly 3 weeks now after my last message and no reason given, and nothing I can think of that could have triggered it, although it has happened before but never for so long. While he is taking time out, I am taking advantage of it to figure out if it is what I want. Thing with these guys is I think you have to be really detached to be with them.. I do not mean ‘pretend’ detached but detached just like them or otherwise it will always be a waiting game, well at least that is how I see it. Waiting and wondering. If you take aquarius out of the equation, if any of my friends or family did not bother to reply, I would definitely call them out on it, unless there is a good reason. However, with this guy, I just know it would not work, it is like walking on eggshells. It is like you need a strategy plan and a degree in the finer points of psychology just to be with them. Lol. That is a lot of hard work. About him, he is VERY sensitive, has had his heart broken with woman before me, a betrayal and am I paying the price? He is kind and puts his friends, family and hobbies at the top of his list, very energetic, an on the move man. A bit shy and lacking in self confidence, serious and definitely not married. He is not great at handling emotions and I do do not really know what he feels at about me as I have never pushed him into saying or doing anything I suspect he does not want to do. More strategy required. ha ha. He is not jealous or at least does not show it and loves his freedom to come and go as he pleases. So that is where I am now..thinking to be ready for the next episode when and if he comes out of the rabbit hole! As for the last post, dear aqua help, dont know where you are up to but you seem to have made the right choice in not jumping back, although you would probably love to but then square 1 springs to mind. Here we go again, one step forward, one step back and repeat the cycle. Hell, this could go on for years, years of precious life. As for me, I will not contact him. When he has disanced in the past, i usually gave in with a message ‘hello, is there anybody out there’? Apparently the wrong strategy so you could say I am learning although I miss him terribly and the temptation is huge. Time will tell, all the best.
Hi there, another poor woman not knowing where they stand with Aqua man!!
When yours has come back in the past, do you ever ask him what made him go missing? Or do you just pick back up where you left off?
I never know what to do when mine comes back, sometimes I want to wring his neck and others I just want to hold him. Yours sounds a lot like mine! All the time in the world for friends and family, but where do I fit in?
They do give us far too much time to think and one of these days he will have left it too long. I will be gone never to return.
I still haven’t got back to him after he started texting. He needs to know….big time…how it feels. I do know he has been by my house more than once as I have seen his car. No idea why he didn’t knock on the door. Maybe he thought I wouldn’t be pleased to see him!
I know what you mean about missing him and being tempted to get in touch with him, but they are the ones that decide to go missing. So they should be the ones putting a bit of work in when they want to come back.
This time I don’t feel as hung up on him….in the past he would put me in such a tail spin I didn’t know what to do. I wanted him so bad I went into panic mode. I’m not one bit like that this time, I’m keeping busy, I’m meeting people, I’m trying to take each day as it comes. I really don’t know if I’m doing the right thing by not replying to his texts for so long. But at the moment he can stew for a while.
None of us have pushed for relationship status, but they treat us like we have. It’s all in their minds, they think we want to pin them down…when we never asked. I have even told mine in the past “I don’t want anything you don’t want to give” but he still thinks I do. He drives me NUTS.
Let me know how it all pans out, and what you do when he does pop back up.
Yes I did ask him once and I got a vague reply saying that he was busy with a new project and did not see the time passing. Grrr. I think you are doing the right thing, if he needs time to think, give him some more and let him WORK back his way to you. You have to test him. That is what I will be doing. Will be in touch xoxo
Need Aqua Help, no sign and no word after all this time. I think he might be gone forever this time but had not the courage to tell me. Awful man. And as our relationship was not defined, I mean no commitment, then I do not feel I have a say. Isnt that something after 2 years, no say in the matter. I am sticking to my guns with no contact from me. But it is giving me time to think and I am thinking that maybe he does not care about me at all, I was just a passing ship and that what I took for a relationship which could grow, he was on another wave altogether and not sharing with me. What has been exceptionally hard for me was to hold back so much and pretend that I was cool. Well, I am not and it is not really what I want. I mean a fuzzy kind of relationship where he floats in floats out and seems ok with that. That is not fair and very disrespectful. Having said that, I do hope that you have figured out a way to reply to your guy, well at least he has shown a sign of life. The control is back with you. I wish. I could advise you but my advice might not be helpful as somebody on this board said, every relationship is different and only you know how to deal and whatever the oucome, I wish you the best. Not easy is it. My friends think I am mad to have put up with this ludicrous man for so long, but it is called love and I do not think I have the right to judge any of their relationships. I think this saying is so apt. If you love him, let him go. If he loves you he will be back and he will be yours forever. So wise, sigh. The very BEST.
Ps. Go and read more. http://www.compatible-astrology.com or soul unions, search google. Same stories all over. Have a laugh.
Mine has left it two months before now! He was having personal problems and didn’t want to involve me. They don’t care about anyones feelings but there own. Then when they decide to come back all they have to say is “oh has it been that ling”. No sorry no nothing.
I have been doing a lot of thinking AGAIN, this weekend and I don’t want this rubbish any more!! He can only be bothered when it fits in with him. Yes I heard from him but he acts like I only saw him a few days ago. It’s has been weeks, he knows this but trys to make out it’s no big deal.
Your friends are right….it’s just not worth it! I want a man to make plans with and know he won’t back out last moment. One that says he will do something and ACTUALLY DO IT. I don’t ask for much from anyone but he is something else! Mine would rather play sport than have a night out with me and my friends. It’s like pulling teeth and I’m plain sick of it. I won’t be replying to his text I have got myself really angry about the whole thing, this last few days.
All my friends have men that care how they feel, want to spend time with them, have a night out with them. I have lost count how many times I have been all dressed up and I get a message last min saying he can’t come. Who needs that? I deserve better and I will get better. At long last I feel FREE, very upset but free!!
I like you have been with him for years, I have put up with sooo much from him, I lost sight of who I am. I don’t know what has come over me, but I am DONE. He can go forth and multiply for all I care and I don’t even want to know when he has done it!!!!!
You will get there too, they really are not worth the heartache. You know and I know they will do it again and again if we let them. Cut your losses and find someone who respects your feelings like you respect there’s. They are stunning men but they are “B’s” at the same time. Today for the first time in I don’t know how long…I AM HAPPY.
Keep reading and re reading my post if it helps you, I know how you are feeling but ask yourself this….would you rather be with someone who doesn’t go missing without bothering to tell you, someone who spends lots of time with you, getting to know you. Having laughs and hugs and knowing the next time you are going to see them. I know I would?
Ahhh the men I have turned down cos I was with him is mind blowing!! I could have found someone who really loved me by now instead of hanging on to an A.Hole!!! Be strong you can do it, if you need to vent I’m here.
Oh my word, what do I do now?? I received an email from him saying how sorry he was for treating me the way he has. He said he wants to be with me but sometimes he panics as he has never felt this way before. He said he will try to be more thoughtful and not just go off without a word again.
Do I trust his words and wait and see if he follows through by actions. I had got to grips with the fact that he had gone and I needed to move on. I never thought he would ever be honest about his feelings, now I don’t know what to do again.
Do I risk going through the whole thing again? ahhhh someone PLEASE HELP ME OUT HERE!!!!!!
I would love to give my opinion but lately I feel like I’m being ignored!
I will give it again if you don’t mind.
If I were in your position I would question his sincerity. Ask yourself what does your gut(intuition) tell you?
Sweet heart I know it’s hard letting yourself be vulnerable when your heart and sometimes sanity are at stake..again and again. But if you don’t try to work out the relationship how will you know how it turns out in the end?
Can you sense that he has feelings for you? Do you feel the same? If you feel that he is worth it then don’t let it go.
Good Luck to you
Love and Light
Oh I know he loves me, that’s why he ran away in the first place. I love him too like I have never loved before. But I don’t EVER want to go through this “going missing” situation ever again. He’s good with words but his actions don’t always match his words.
I have got my head around not seeing him this time and I don’t know if I should risk it another time. When he goes missing it’s for weeks at a time. Not a good feeling I can tell you!!! The man in person is the man I want, but the man going missing without a word I really don’t need. He’s an adult so should act like one!!
Face to face they are everything we want. From the distance they are DISTANT and very cold and forgetful(sometimes ballsy).
In the end only you know what will make you happy.
Do you stay on the roller coaster and hang on? Or you do you get off and forget about it?
I met my guy a little over a year ago and we’ve been together 8 Months straight. The past few Months are going great since he has been keeping constant contact and I just saw him 2x in the past 3 days. I don’t know if I should brace myself for one of those disappearances that they like to do. But I know what I won’t do next time…and that’s waste my tears. We know they love us and they know we love them. But one can only keep going through the emotions for so long.
I haven’t really read everything in this page. How long have you known your guy again?
I don’t know if I could handle it happening over n over n over. But you have to be super strong to put up with it!
I think you may be able to relate. Last year when he did that first disappearing act which lasted almost 3 Months my biggest fear was him being with someone else. But I know and my gut tells me he isn’t and was never with someone else. I think as Woman our intuitions are on point. I know mine is. If you feel it’s worth it and I know this sounds redundant…then stick it out until he’s ready to STAY by your side. With no magic disappearing acts. They are awesome and moody son’s of guns but they drive us to wanna drink! lol
Need Aqua Help.
I feel if I were you and I loved this man I would give him another go
ONLY BECAUSE you have been taken to the end of yourself and you know what he is capable off.
I would explain this to him and then if he ever disappears again without leave the writing is on the wall, no explanations required!
This is my take on things but you are the one who has been abused
it really is up to you.
With Love,
Annie.
P.S. I would play it very cool (in a nice way) again PROTECT YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear need aqua help, I have not been on this board for a while, so probably a good sign that I am moving on slowly… Good news that your man has reached out, but boy, the next steps for you must be difficult for you to figure out. The decision is now yours NOT his. If I were you, I would start by getting back in contact but lightly. Just something like ….great to hear from you and glad to hear all is well on your side. Then to take the pressure off because clearly he feels under pressure for some reason, I would say…I consider you as a good friend and if you want to meet up, let me know. But also let him know that you are quite busy (you are) and you would be pleased for a little notice. This will open up the communication channel in a non-threatening and friendly way. Then leave it at that and wait. Yes, I would give him a second chance, but be a new you. Decide in your own mind that it is his last chance, because, as you have said yourself, you cannot keep going through that emotional upheaval as it is exhausting and very upsetting and unsettling. And time keeps moving on. How you actually get there is another thing. Speaking from my own experience, nothing seems to work. You contact too much. Wrong. You back off and the waiting seems endless. You give an ultimatum, never do that either, it does not work. Express what you truly feel and want, there is a risk you will be met with a wall of silence. And then go with the flow, whose flow? His flow. Well that flow can be so slow that you need limitless patience and I do not know if you have it? So it is not easy. You must decide what you want and need and if his ‘terms’ match that. Because even if he has not set the terms verbally, they are there. His terms. And by the way, I am also speaking for myself. There has been no contact for me going on 6 weeks now, so what I have written here is advice for me if he does deign to pop up again. I never thought of myself as an insecure person, but this guy brings insecurities out of me I thought I never had. It is horrible to be left hanging. In a ‘normal’ relationship, when this happens, there seems to be only one conclusion to be drawn, he does not give a bad word lol. Run for the hills. But from the posts we see on these boards, strong, articulate women keep going back for more, more of the same. I suppose that is your challenge now. You have to somehow find the keys to change the settings, if in fact you decide to give him another chance, your call. As Beyonder said, our intuition can often give us the answers that no logical figuring out can do. If you sense he has feelings for you and that the relationship is worth the effort, then follow your deepest intuition. As for me, I am staying strong and off his radar screen, smile….and still thinking. I do wonder what he is doing, if he has met somebody else and chickened out or maybe he is just still thinking:):) keep us posted and best of luck going forward.
Thank you all for your help!!!
Beyonder
I have known him getting on for 3 years now, this is the fourth time he has done this. I am staying strong and doing a lot of thinking before I get in touch with him.
Annie
I will be taking it slow this time. I’m not as excited to hear from him this time to be honest, so the being cool won’t be a problem. I have to find a new way to handle this so he knows this is the last time! Problem is when I see him all the talking strong in the world seems to go out of the window. I need to stick to my guns this time!!
Time out,
Six weeks is nothing to them, time means nothing. I wouldn’t give up hope yet but make your self stronger in the mean time.
I’m not going to answer him yet, I need to get my head around what it is I want and how I’m going to handle things. I am good at telling myself how I’m going to be, but when I see him it doesn’t always work out how I want it to be. Like you say… they make you into something you have never been with other men…they have a way of making you question yourself all the time. I WILL NOT go down that road again. It somehow has to be on my terms or I’m better off not bothering at all. Not sure how I will manage to get that across to him but I will try.
I need a bit more time to work my next move out, and at the same time I know he hates being ignored, so won’t do any harm haha!!! Good at that with me but boy they hate it back!! Time will tell, IT’S MY CALL this time and I need to get it right.
Thanks everyone
Lozzy
How are things with you, have you heard any word from him yet??
Hi Need Aqua Help, how are you?
No not heard a peep, 4 weeks tomorrow since we last spoke.
To be fair to him I did suggest it was over, only because I was angry with him for not coming home at Easter, and in anger he slammed the phone down on me. Part of me hoped he would have contacted me, but no he has not 😦
I miss him so much and wonder if he misses me. My friend says I should contact him but I can’t bring myself to do it.
I think I hurt him but he hurt me also.
I keep thinking did he do this on purpose to cause an argument I have read they would rather you end the relationship so they don’t look bad, what do you think?
All I know looking back he seemed to change distance thing, not calling as much, on occasion not answering his phone with lame excuses, then not coming home easter, although he did say it was because of work.
Its even crossed my mind has he met someone else, I would’nt know with living 200 miles away!
He really convinced me we had a future together, he was going to live with me when he could get a job thats how close we got.
But I started to get very insecure again with his hot and cold behaviour, don’t forget I’ve been there before 11 years ago.
I did’nt mean to say I think its over, but he did’nt try to reasure me either he just said if that’s what you want.
So that’s why I can’t phone him because I fear HE may have wanted to break up.
Oh why can’t I just let go, he is always on my mind, but its over….Never say never with Aquarius very unpredictable!
Should I just forget him?
Advice please would be most welcome.
I agree with Annie!!
He was the one that changed “the not contacting as much etc….” he did it for a reason. They know what buttons to press and they sit back to see if you react. They enjoy it in a way! Do nothing like I did. He will be back when he works out you are not doing the running. It took mine 8 weeks, then I received a text. I have done nothing about any of his contact….se how he likes it!!
It’s a HUGE game for them, but they don’t like us playing the same game. They don’t know how to deal with it. He would never have found you again after 11 years if he didn’t think a lot about you.
Let him think….long and hard….he will be back. Yes he might find it hard to swallow pride but if you stick to your guns he won’t have a choice. As and when he does come back, be stronger. Don’t fall back into the old ways, because he will too. Then you will be back to the same old thing again!!
That’s what I’m trying to do at the moment with mine. I don’t want him to think I will jump at the chance to see him. I’m trying to make him think and know how it feels to be down right mean. I will see him/contact him when I’m good and ready, not when he has decided to come back into my life after sooo long. I have better things to do!!!
Leave it up to him, yes I also think it is one of his tests….don’t lose that test…throw it back to him…. They are just little boys in big shoes…very cute little boys but pains in the butt at the same time.
HANG IN THERE!!!
Hi Lozzy,
I hope you don’t mind me running this by you.
Leo’s are very fair people and we like to do things right and hurt no one.
However in this case I would say please do not contact him as it was he who distanced himself from you. I know you feel slightly to blame but we have to feel we are worth something. If you contact him this will teach him that give her long enough and no matter what I have done she will come to me ……….. we teach people how to treat us.
He may be testing you.
I’m sorry I can’t tell you how he feel’s, I am not saying forget him although it will get easier.
Get along with your life as you have been doing.
My Aquarius in this sort of situation use to BUMP into me by accident
(yea) so not to loose face because they do have a huge ego and a lot of pride and perhaps that is where we are alike and its very hard.
Could you try something like that? Then I would tell him I wanted to contact you but I was unsure.
I believe WHATS FOR YOU WONT GO BY YOU. I would hate for you to contact him and he have the opportunity to be rude to you.
There is always the other side of the coin and of course it your call.
Take care of yourself.
With Much Love
Annie
Hi Lozzie, when he said ‘if that is what you want’, I think it was just man pride and saving face. If he came back to you after 11 years, it means you have been on his thoughts for a long time and my guess is that he will be back again before soon with his tail between his legs. Just sit it out, that is what I think and it is what I am doing myself. Focusing on me time and getting on with it. Thing is, these guys enter your life like a hurricane, get you hooked and then distance themselves. It is if they catch you and then do not know what to do. Though, I do think the disappearing is so mean, a bit immature and hard to forgive and leaves its mark on you. I am going to try, try, to wash that man right out of my hair. A good rince should do it. Lol and best wishes
Aqua to Aqua
I hope no news is good news for you?? Let us know how you are doing, it gives the rest of us some hope of working things out with our men.
No posts here for a while so I hope no news is good news! No word on my side and I have not relented either. This is the first time I have really backed off, mostly because I just do not want to give him the opportunity to ignore me AGAIN. I am getting stronger and if nothing else it has been a learning experience. Looking back on it, I should have done this way back. I wasted too much time hoping that he would commit and shape up. So much time and emotional investment for so very little. Too much waiting time also. At least I am not doing that anymore. He was on my mind a lot yesterday and I remembered all the nice times and special moments we spent together, with sadness that it should have ended like that. It is a mystery to me. I hope all of you are fine and getting on with life. Best wishes.
Ps. Come to think of it.. My first serious relationship was with an aquarius too. Although he was not the disappearing type but it ended badly and took me ages to get over him.. Lingered in my psyche for so long. But he was also aloof, and very emotionally distant. I dont think I have the stomach to try another one. Lol
Hi Time out,
It will get better as time goes on!! He could well pop back into your life, but the question is what would you do about it?? Your doing great not contacting him, it’s not easy is it? If they weren’t such nice men we wouldn’t have a problem letting go, but there is just something special about them.
I have done nothing about my man. I am feeling scared about it to be honest. I really want to see him but don’t need the heartache. If he just went with the flow and didn’t think so much I’m sure we could make a go of it. I wouldn’t mind but a lot of the thinking they do is sooo far from the truth it’s mind blowing!! They have too many what if’s going round their minds that they run for cover instead of just asking. Why can’t they just come out and ask the question of whatever it is that’s bothering them. Get an answer then all can be sorted in no time. But no… they have to think and think and THINK until they have blown things so off track it’s hard for them to get back on track.
I don’t know what to do, I love him but I really don’t like him much at the moment. He put’s me through so much when I have done nothing wrong. I don’t mind hard work but you never know if there will be an end result with them.
I love him, he say’s he loves me so why is he always causing problems that aren’t even there?? I’m still as confused as I ever was HUH he drives me nuts!!!!!
Hi Need AH, you are doing great too! You must be very strong not to have replied. I think I would have caved in, out of curiosity and for closure, if that is what you want? He must be kicking himself as obviously he wanted to meet you again. How long will your ‘punishment’ last? and well yes, he deserves. One thing you said in a previous post is interesting. Finding the person you were before he walked into your life. Me too, I have to find that person again, I know I have definitely changed and this relationship has made me think about a lot of things, so maybe that is a good thing. Especially about self esteem and not putting up with any old behaviour just to have somebody around, nobody is that special that they reduce you to jelly. Good luck going forward.
I sound strong as if I know what I’m doing but I really don’t!! I’m just blundering along and hope for the best. He is such a lovely man when we are together, things were so good before he did this vanishing act on me AGAIN. I feel a fool for putting up with it, but now I don’t know what I’m doing or what I want.
I don’t want to change who he is as that would be wrong, but I don’t understand why he would go missing for weeks at a time when we were doing so great.
I never asked him for anything or put pressure on him for anything, so have no idea why he does it time and time again. I want him the way he is when we are together but I don’t want him going off without a word with no notice or explanation.
They all seem to be the same and I don’t know what the answer is! All it would take is for him to tell me he needs time out, I would be totally fine with that. I have even asked him to let me know if he needs alone time and he said he would…..and then he goes and does it again.
Aqua to Aqua has been great helping me with this man of mine but she seems to have gone missing.
It sucks when we as the Ladies in the relationship go through something and they are not there. Either they just aren’t there and or when they try to be it seems like they do it from miles away.
I’ve been sick a little over a week, sore throat, chills, fatigued and now feeling a lump in my throat and fever all of a sudden. I text him to ask if he was ok, just to be sure he hadn’t caught anything. Once I told him I was taking myself to the ER in the morning and what for he messaged me back with: oh ok I hope everything turns out ok.
Yeah Love ya too! lol
Sorry I’m a cranky pu55 when not feeling well blahhh
Today is my Father’s first year in Heaven. He passed 2 Months after my Uncle last year. I was listening to all this sad music crying. Wishing he(my aqua Guy) would’ve been here with me but. Oh well I’ll take him once/twice a week over not at all.
Needaquahelp
The disappearing act/me time that they take is always questionable. However long it takes. The longest I can handle is 5 maybe 6 or 7 days but he hasn’t done that to me lately.
Now if it’s more than a week we’re left questioning (once again) our relationship and sanity. We try to keep busy for the longest time to forget about them and it doesn’t work. But once we start to actually forget about them then POP here they come again. It’s like their psychic or something ugh These men are lovable but the most confusing and frustrating!
Well it has to be said, this time I’m doing the forgetting!! I am tired of the going missing, the ignoring mid text session, they only seem to care about their own feelings. They say and do to us whatever they want and I’m not even sure they care if you decide to walk away. We women are loving, kind, warm to these men. We put up with more than we ever have with past men, and they still don’t give/show 100% of who they are.
I am working on ME for now, I’m taking my time to think things through….like they do…. I don’t want to spend another 3 years like this. On & off, never quite knowing where you stand. Whats even worse, it always seems to happen when things are really really good.
It’s up to me now….and no I’m not playing games…that’s his job. I just want to get it right this time instead of him always having a say in how things go. He has rung a few times and sent quite a lot of texts. Can’t bring myself to reply to be honest at the moment…I think he may have pushed me to my limit this time.
The love is there for both of us but I don’t feel the respect when he does this. I will work it out one way or the other.
Dear need AQ help, A humourous reply from me… You can never accuse these guys of being super glue as they do not stay around long enough to stick. Lol. Seriously you are doing so well. You have had texts, emails and calls so it is in your hands. As I said before, I would have given in in your situation, if not for closure and to give myself the opportunity to move on or to get some sort of explanation, and well, just to be friends. It seems safe for you now. Thing about me is that I hate to have this thing hanging over me, but well, if it should be like that, so be it. And then the one thing I noted is that I never saw an ounce of jealousy. Bad sign or good sign ? Dont know, jealousy is fine in small doses, even posessivess but when there is none, you wonder. When there is too much, it is toxic. Comments anyone ? Lots of love and support.
Take the whole thing out of his hands, make your own closure….in your own mind I mean!! Be strong and stand your ground with him. Act like all is great with you, if you see him out and about act like you are fine with everything….they hate that. I have a feeling he knows you are waiting for word from him. Don’t give him the satisfaction, get all dressed up and get yourself out. You are letting him win by questioning everything he might be thinking etc….
Even if he does come back to you he won’t give you an explanation….they don’t see they have done anything wrong. They think they can come and go as and when they please. Turn it round on him…act like you are fine.It’s hard but it really has to be done if you want him back. Sounds odd I know but it really works. Trust me I’m doing it myself. It’s killing me but it is working in my favour for once.
Don’t just let him come and go without thinking of your feelings. You really are letting him win. I hope you are getting my drift, I don’t mean to sound mean, it’s just that I have sat for hours in the past, asking myself what went wrong, what did I do wrong. Only this time I know I DID NOTHING WRONG, it’s all his doing. Then when he thinks I have had enough, back he tries to pop into my life again. If you don’t try another way, he will keep doing the same thing to you. Be strong, you did nothing wrong this is all his choice. Let him think you moved on that will put the wind up him.
Ladies
@Timeout
They are front masters. Masters at pretending they don’t get effected by anything. I should know. I’m Gemini and we are very much(not 100% though) alike.
I also think it’s a pride thing. To show no jealousy. I can be jealous but I don’t like to show it. I don’t want people especially not him to think that I feel threatened. Because then I feel I have lost control.
Not until I feel so sure that I can tell him DO I tell HIM that I don’t like his behavior because it is hurtful and disrespectful. Yes they can’t read minds and yes we need to tell them plain and simple what we want. But soon as you make them feel guilty or like they should reciprocate(not out of obligation though) They become……ready for it puss1es/cowards Pardon my French.
There are the few who are hard headed, emotional and forthcoming.
But once they see us squirm they either keep up the act that made us that way or they stop. It’s usually the former.
@Needaquahelp you’re much better than me. If I was in your shoes. Which I was once before, I’d think of something to say to ensure that he gets back to me.
Like a farewell I’m thru type of message.
Then if he didn’t answer I would be certain he didn’t give a toot.
The last time I thought he was disappearing on me I did tell him a final goodbye and he got back to me the very next morning.
Life catches up to them (Men especially) and they forget everything and everyone at times. sighs
Off topic
Who knew that allergies caused such excruciating throat pain? Not me! Til now o.o
ugh<an actual emotion?
You are right in a lot that you say but it’s always about them!! All they have to do is say “I’m busy at the moment, I will get back to you”. But no they say nothing, they keep you guessing for weeks at a time. They know they are hurting us and they don’t give it a second thought. But when you do ANYTHING to them that they don’t like, they get mean or panic. If they didn’t do silly things to us/hurt us in the first place there wouldn’t be a problem.
Relationships are not/shouldn’t be one sided, but they are with an Aqua. And when they get a kick out of ignoring and standing you up/backing out on a date last min…..you know there is always going to be an issue. Is it worth it??
I could never send the BYE text, as that is testing them. They are that stubborn they would risk letting it all go!! It’s quite pathetic when you think about it!!
When you know you did nothing wrong and they are still being rude/letting you down then there is no answer, only letting them know/feel how it feels to feel left high and dry. It gives them plenty to think about while we are the ones going missing without a word. If you want to know if they love you, ignore them. That’s what I have been told and it works 100%.
Dear ladies, thanks much, your words have been kind, supportive and yes, wise. I will follow your advice. Luckily I do not have much time to think of him, but yes in fleeting moments. I do think he was an ok enough guy but confused and he did not know how to handle me. Notice I use the past tense. I am already moving on. Could not BEAR another relationship like that. I fell so dreadfully in love and it hurt. I did not think that love made you suffer. Beyonder, you used the word ‘squirm’. Well that is exactly how I used to feel. Reduced to rubble and a shadow of my former self. And let me tell you, first he raised my expectations. Messages night, noon and morning. And then he lowered them. Then that awful detachment, isnt it terrible?. Would I receive a reply today, tomorrow, ever ? Never knew where I stood. Never expressed an emotion, never felt he wanted to commit, and I kept working on it. Oh no, I am not a victim I bought into his game. Not a psychologist, but I think it is called control until you just reach a time that you say basta. It is too hard to maintain a relationship in these circumstances and you just have to opt out. In my wildest dreams I will not message him, ever. That is for sure. And yes need aqua help, you did nothing wrong at all, just offered your love, how can that be bad, I ask you ? It really is all about them. No need for me to dress up except for myself, long distance, and no chance of ever bumping into him or friends. So he is very safe in his cave. Just my thoughts for the day. Ignore 100 per cent.And then finally, if I accepted this behaviour for so long, what does that make me? Thinking time needed lol. Fond regards. Keep busy and occupied with your personal life. All will be well and time will tell. X
Hey you are doing great!! Your feeling stronger already, good for you girl 🙂 It’s early days for you but it sounds like you are putting it behind you and taking each day at a time.
I too am feeling stronger, it has taken me some time as I have 3 years invested into this silly man!! I’m getting there bit by bit. Just because he has decided he wants me doesn’t mean I will drop everything and go running to him. It’s really odd but the meaner I am to him the more he wants me. We are adult people and this is how we have to act with them if we want to get anywhere with them.
He will get in touch with you at some point cos that’s what they do. Be ready for it and be strong, either that or if you want to try again tell him what you want out of it. Stand up to him, it’s not all about him and what he wants. Just keep being you and one way or the other it will work it’s self out. With him or without him.
I did mean dress up FOR YOU, and have a great girls night out. Your doing so good in such a short time, I wish I was you!!!!
Been a few days.. How’s everyone doing?
Hello all,
I have been reading all your posts and need some advice. I think I may have blown it with my Aqua. Here’s my story:
Met him online a few months ago just as I was about to close my acct because I had been meeting jerks. Out of the blue here is a friend request from Mr. Aqua. Long story short we exchanged numbers would talk for hours etc. He was like a breath of fresh air. I had told myself no more meeting men offline, but he was so interesting and compelling when he said “how about we meet up on Tuesday” (this was on a Sunday a few weeks after meeting online) yes leaped out of my mouth before I was for sure what I was agreeing to. We meet the sparks fly instantly. We have a great time and when we went back to my place (don’t judge me) we had sex. Keep in mind we had both discussed how we were not looking for a friend w/benefits deal before we actually met in person & hooked up. He kept saying how much he liked me and wanted to see where things would go vice versa. After sex he was like stop freaking out I like you I’m not a womanizer and you will hear from me tomorrow just because we had sex it doesn’t change the way I feel about you etc. He even asked me to be his…I then said please clarify are you asking me to be your girl and he said yes. I even questioned are you sure it’s kinda soon, he replied I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure. So I said yes.
The next day I didn’t know how to feel because I knew better and that I shouldn’t have had sex so soon. So I didn’t contact him. By the end of the nite he was texting me asking me was I avoiding him and how come I hadn’t text him all day. Fast fwd the text & calls start to taper off so I feel he’s not into me and basically got what he wanted. Few days go by he calls asks me to dinner on the weekend I agree to it. Well when Friday comes he tells me he forgot he had plans to go camping with his dad. I didn’t say anything but ok hope you guys have fun. Since I knew he was off with his dad I figured I wouldn’t hear from him at all that weekend and that was fine. Sun night I send him a goodnight text and go to bed. Next morning he text me goodmorning and telling me how much of a good time he had with his dad. That nite he called and we talked for hrs he then asked to add me on facebook and I accepted. So the next day as I am scrolling down his timeline I see that he has posted on the day he says he was camping with dad that he is going out with friends to get drunk and hope he ends up naked somewhere. I was angry but I kept my cool. Then a few hrs later that same day he posted that he didn’t go out because he was too tired etc. When I talked to him next I confronted him about telling me one thing then posting another on FB. He instantly got defensive told me I was insucure and paranoid and had my dates wrong. I’m like no you have you’re lies wrong! We get into a big blow up and he hangs up on me. I didnt expect to hear from him again. He is military so he had told me he was going to do a mission for a few weeks etc. He promised to see me before he left. He then recanted that story and told me he couldnt deploy because he needed back surgery and was going to the military hospital in Texas to have it done. I had no reason to doubt him. So i believed him. He said he would come see me before he left but due to the blowup of course he didnt. After he left he messaged me on FB as if all was well asking me to keep faith in our relationship and that he would see me soon. All the while friends and family are wishing him safety stating how proud of him they are for doing what he is doing etc. Ummm that doesn’t sound like having surgey to me. Yet I play it cool as it’s not the time to confront him nor is FB the place. But I mean he requested me as a friend and messaged me did he not think I would see his updates etc?? Then he starts posting videos of the other soldiers rapping etc. I didn’t message him because I was mad that he lied. So about a week goes by and he messages me. I just reply back hey. We chat it up on FB a few days he is talking all this crap about what we are gonna do when he sees me etc. Soon as he gets back he calls but i was asleep and missed the call. So next morning we talk…he tells me how jet lagged he is etc but that he wants to come see me. I really wanted to see him too but already had a full day planned which I told him and we agreed to meet up on Tuesday. Monday no contact but I did text goodnite see u tomorrow before I went to bed. Tuesday morning I text to confirm we still had plans after reading an update on FB that he got into a fight and almost broke his hand. So he explained that situation and said of course he was coming to see me. On my lunch break we talked the entire time about any and everything. He was saying how he hated the fact that he liked me so much because he wished he could spend more time with me and he knew I wanted more time with him. So far what I read about aquas they love their freedom so I felt he was lying. I replied we both have our own lives and we will make things work. He then tells me he is going back to georgia in a month and why dont i request time off in june and bring my kids down so they can experience something different this summer. Everything was peachy so I assumed. Around 3pm he text saying he needed a favor that it was really important. I said sure whats up…he tells me he got in an accident in his rental car and that he needed me to come get him. I agreed, then he let me know he was 45mins away. I told him I had a bad tired but that it would make it & i would come. He told me no he can’t ask that of me and could i get him from the train station. So i agreed. Few hrs go by and nothing. So i text asking if things are ok and to let me know when he is ready to be picked up. He replied he will and then more hours went by. I called he sent me to voicemail. I texted are you ok? No reply…so i got worried. I log into fb and guess who is online?? MR. Aqua…I was livid!! So i msg him and ask so you can be on fb but u cant answer my call or reply to my text to tell me u cant make it and ur ok? Of course he logs off. So i log into the site where we met and view his page and he updated his status to say “time to change my phone number!” now i cant say this was directed at me but i was angry now. So i text him and told him i was disappointed etc and told him he was liar and not half the man he claimed to be becuz he wasnt man enough to tell me he wasnt coming & to never call me again. Then i deletd him off my friends list on fb.
This all happed Tuesday nite. After i calmed down I msgd him Thur and told him i was upset and said things i didnt mean but that we should just talk and sort things out like adults and that i was not mad or going to dwell on the past. No reply. My friend told me to msg him today which after reading im seeing is a no no, but that was before i came here so i just sent him a simple text saying hello kind of gave him an open invite to hang out downtown with me…then i asked him to let me know if he wanted me to stop contacting him. No reply!
I cant stop thinking about him. Even though he has lied and i have caught him its like i just want some answers. Is he gone for good? Did i scare him away? I know better not to contact him anymore but should i just cut my loses and move on at this point? Why was he telling me how much he liked me and inviting me to georgia etc? My friend said she thinks he freaked himself out over the thought of being alone and possibly intimate with me again because he really likes me and doesn’t know how to handle it. Sorry for the novel…thoughts???
@ConfusedAries
So many red flags. Him saying one thing and doing another. Any normal Woman would easily dump him for all the b.s.
I know that before I met my guy I had the 1 red flag but I let it go.
But we as Woman who Love an aqua are far from normal.
Our tolerance for them is so high to say the least.
But in your case I’m not sure if you think he’s worth it?
If he continues to send you mixed signals, I suggest ignoring him for a while. Let him come to you. Make sure HE KNOWS that YOUR WORLD Does Not revolve around him and that you Don’t need him. That you WANT him in your life. Because once they think they have us in the palm of their hands, then that’s when the emotional torture reaches it’s peak.
If he invited you to Georgia with your kids then that means he is truly interested. How many Men do you know would do that?
So many crazy circumstances leading to you reading & writing here.
Best thing to do is act like a friend, see what he does.
Cause at times when get emotional too quick they run away.
If we act like a buddy buddy like them they come around more. I know this first hand!
Hi Beyonder,
Thank you for your reply. I am indeed going to ignore him and let him com part of e to me. Part of me is like he is full of it just let him go and move on, but then there is the side that says ride it out and see where it goes, because as you said how many men invite a woman and her children to their home.
I have been in many bad relationships so I tend to look at most thinkgs in a negative light which I am working to change. So when he invited me to georgia my initial reaction to myself was “BS” he is just talking to keep the conversation going. But then he went on further saying how he wanted to talk to my son if i agree because he feels he can motivate him into playing football. That he could teach him about the game and life etc as I have conversations with him regarding the struggles I am having with my son.
I’m starting to just lean towards forgetting about him, but then all the good memories surface. It’s only been 5 days and I have read some aquas go MIA for weeks even months so maybe the over emotional Aries I am is overreacting? Just can’t help to feel this was the end and that he will never contact me again. Maybe it’s best that way since he can’t seem to get his stories straight anyways. Oh well, thanks for reading and replying…one thing is for certain I WILL NOTcontact him anymore no matter how bad I want to.
CONFUSED ARIES
He is testing you in every way possible to see how you react. He backed out of plans, say’s he needs a new phone number….and as for the adding you on FB he knew what he was doing. He knew you would look through his timeline….NO HE WANTED YOU to look through his timeline. He wanted you to panic and start asking him questions. You played right into his hands.
He sounds a real ASS and I would be the one getting a new number!! I say that mainly because he told you a huge LIE about his back, about going camping etc….. He is playing a number on you and you are forgiving him every time.
DO NOTHING, back right off and see what he does!! If he texts you leave it a couple of days before you answer. If he sends another FB request….don’t accept…..play like you are done with him and his games, he might start treating you with respect…..As for him letting you pick him up from the station….having you waiting around for him. That is soooo wrong…I wouldn’t want anything more to do with him anyway after that.
This is not just him being Aqua…it’s the workings of an EVIL FOOL. Why would you want to accept that?? How old is he? He sounds like a little boy to me. If you let him get away with treating you like that he will continue to do so. They like someone that keeps them on their toes anyway….They have no time for pushovers…..I had to learn the hard way but I got the hang of it. But I can honestly say mine didn’t do things like your Aqua has done…..I would be out the door and never look back…..
Ignore him, see what he does and then tell him you just want to be friends. He might start being nicer to you. If he doesn’t…then you don’t need another kid in your life…you already have some 🙂 Please be TUFF with him, you did nothing to deserve this and you really don’t need it!!!
In the months that you have known him, how many times have you seen him??
Hi NeedAqua,
This so called man is 34. As far as the # of times I have seen him, once. He lives 2hrs away and my work schedule is crazy. He did call me up a few weeks after we met up and said he was in town and can he come over. However it was my moms Bday and I told him I was out doing things with her. Then not too long after that he deployed and just got back last Saturday.
I am glad I found you all because sometimes we need an unbiased outside opinion to help us put things in perspective and I now see he is just playing games and I want no part.
Just boggles me though why keep messaging me on fb up until the min you had to ship out and fly back to the states….contact me as soon as you touch down…complain that i didnt answer your call…wanna come see me when ur jet lagged & feel sick but say you still wanna come but i decline and tell you to rest…then you invite me and the kids to georgia…then poof gone!!! I used to think he was scaring himself and detaching like aquas do, but now it appears it was all a game and he never cared. Gosh I feel like such a fool. Oh well, you live and you learn and I am moving on. Thanks ladies!
I didn’t mean he never cared, he more than likely did care. I’m sure he meant the things he said at the time he said them. They do say lots of things but their actions never seem to live up to their words. I don’t think they mean to do it, it’s just part of who they are.
And yes they do get scared of their feelings and back right off. Mine (read above posts of mine) backed off yet again after we were getting very close. Then he came back, and so it goes on and on. I have been doing the backing off this time and it really does work!! Just get on with your life, wait for him to come to you and decide what you want when he does.
Relationships are a game to these men, that seems to be the only way they know how to handle it. Don’t take it personal, we have all been there one way or another. What I was saying….he had no business having you waiting around to pick him up from the station etc…..that was out of order and taking you for granted. He should/could have at least let you know he was home and thanked you for saying you would collect him.
I hear what you are saying and yes I am still bothered about him not letting me know at least that he was ok as I really started to get concerned.
I am going to get on with my life and we will see what happens. I just have a gut feeling I won’t hear from him again. We had a falling out before and he told me he started not to call me again because I had mad him upset and he doesn’t like being upset. But that he liked me so much that he couldn’t just end things. What was different about that was he would still at least reply to my text during that time, even if it was to say he was still angry and not ready to talk to me. Now, nothing. But I will not contact him anymore. If he is meant to be in my life he will reach out to me again. If not, then it is what it is.
Thanks for the advice and insight. I will be sure to check back in with any updates etc.
@confusedaries
You will hear from him again…I believe you will.
And just because he’s upset at you or vice versa doesn’t mean things can’t be worked out.
Assure him/Tell him you’re willing to work through issues with him as the Adults that you both are!
Ladies
Something that I figured out and that is obvious or should be:
When it comes to their careers/education, do they play games? No!
Because if they did they would get dropped no?
So why can’t we let them know that if they funk up that we will drop them?
These games of cat and mouse with them are so tiring.
You’re either willing to play or not.
I haven’t had to do nothing other than hold back on communicating with him and no later than about 3 days MAX does he get into contact with me.
Yes they don’t like being tied down or feeling pressured. But it’s time they learn we are not yo yo’s or toys to be left or stashed away in some box to take out/do with, when or what they please at their convenience.
I am waiting and hoping he doesn’t do it to me again.
Again I repeat: The last time I hadn’t heard from him for almost 2 weeks i sent him that goodbye message and it worked. He apologized for not communicating due to school worries.
This happened over 4 Months ago.
It’s been over a year since we met, 9 Months that we’ve been 2gether.
If he ever does this to me again I swear to you all I will put my foot down.
Our feelings and emotions aren’t something of a toy. We’re not just a chic to be messed with our emotions.
We are grown mature Women perfectly capable of existing without them. If they don’t know this? Then that’s when they act up.
I’ve been feeling lately like: I wish he would express himself more to me. Tell me he loves me misses me or something. I’m usually the one saying I miss u first. But that’s as lovey dovey(verbally) as I’ve gotten and he always says He misses me back.
Sometimes(b.s all the time) it feels like I have to ask questions to get information out of him.Is this the same for all of you too?
He doesn’t just volunteer it. I hate that even after years of thinking we know them we truly don’t. Which leads to the insecurities. Not knowing and all that just sucks major a55 ugh
Mind you, we share no mutual social networking accounts. (which makes we wonder what he’s hiding)
We only met on that dating site in Feb of 2012
@Beyonder,
I have contacted him twice since he stood me up Tuesday and no replies. So I am at the point where I am backing off because I can feel him sitting looking at my messages as if it’s nothing and going about his day with not another thought about them….grrrrrr!!! I remember one of his fb posts (this was when we were on good terms. I had not contacted him that day cuz I didn’t feel like it) he states something like when he is in one of his moods he either turns the phn off or watches it ring and the texts/voicemails he recieves are priceless when bottom line he just doesn’t feel like talking.
Anyways, yes I would have to ask things. There was a few times he randomly vonlunteered information and that caught me off guard. But for the most part I was doing all the asking. When he was away and we were chatting on fb I slipped and told him I missed him…his reply, no need to just be readyfor me when I get back. And then he stands me up, all bs. Ugh!
Hi Confused Aries,
I don’t see much to be confused about it isn’t that he is a cold and aloof Aqua which is hard enough to handle, he is quite simply a LIAR!
So were is the trust and sorry without that its a non starter.
Sadly you have given everything to this creep.
The part that really concerns me is that you say you have children.
You seem to be a very busy person and certainly do not need or deserve this crap.
Its none of my business but I really don’t like to see someone who is messed around. You have done your best but it wasn’t good enough for him.
I always say protect yourself from Aqua’s there is no misunderstanding here he is just messing with you head and your heart and that can be very dangerous take care of yourself and your very precious children don’t let him hurt them. I think you have given him every chance. When someone shows you who they are believe them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sent with lots of love
Annie.<3
@Annie,
Thank you for the advice. You are right he is a LIAR and playing games. I told him so to in the text I sent when he stood me up. I feel he is hiding because I have him pegged and he knows I’m not a stupid as he thought I was and see thru his bs. One of my friends kept telling me he was a waste of time…now I can clearly see it.
ConfusedAries,
I am glad you have such good friends keep them close, and I wish you well in finding a good, kind and loving MAN who will cherish you and your darling children.
I believe the only honest thing he did was show you who he really was.So now you know BEWARE and seriously, good luck he is everything you don’t need.
Blessings
Annie
Hi everyone,
No good news here, no contact now for 7 weeks from my self or now I’m guessing to be my EX Aqua.
I still think about him and feel so unhappy its over, it really saddens me to think I may never see him again, as I did love him with all of my heart and still do.
It took him 11 years to come back last time, can’t wait that long again getting to old lol
Its the biggest regret I have suggesting it was over, it backfired on me big time.
I have been ill since my last posts I suffer with Fibromyalgia and the upset of all this has caused a bad flare up been in constant pain coming up for 4 weeks now 😦
Oh well my fellow Aqua sufferers I hope you all have happier endings than I did, and if by some miracle things change here I will keep you posted.
Bye for now….
@lozzy
I am sorry this falling out has done nothing but cause physical illness on you.
Please don’t even worry about him(tho I kno it’s hard)
And focus on yourself and getting better. I don’t know personally what it’s like to suffer from Fibromyalgia but know it can’t be good stressing over an idiot who doesn’t deserve your attention.
Sending much love and light your way so you can begin to heal :o)
oh…………..
I apologize if calling HIM an idiot offends you.
If he truly loved you he should’ve been there helping nurture you back to health!
Hi Lozzy,
I’m sorry to hear about your aqua and your health. 11 years is a long time and no of course you can’t wait another 11.
Unfortunately I am in no position to give any advice…it just sucks! I told my aqua never to contact me again after he stood me up Tuesday nite, and I feel that he is giving me what I asked for. At this point I’m starting not to care because mine is a big fat liar ontop of being an aqua lol.
Hang in there Lozzy. I hope he contacts you soon. At some point will you try to contact him, or just let it ride out?
Take care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon.
Hi Lozzy
Try not to let it get you down!! Your health is all that matters and the rest will take care of it’s self. Thinking of you!!
Hi lozzy,
Good to hear from you as I thought you had done an Aqua disappearing act!
I too am sorry to hear that your health has not been so good lately, wishing you heaps of strength to get well again.
I won’t speak about your Mr Aquarius only to say that I feel they enter our lives to teach us something about ourselves be that good or bad and I know that there is something Very powerful about them that enters intoyour very being making them so very hard to be without.
People enter our lives for a reason
a season or a lifetime.
Lesson’s or Blessings.
What will be, will be.
Take very good care of yourself,,
sent with lots of love Lozzie,
Annie.
Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and get well wishes it means alot to me,
Lots of love Lozzy xxxxxx
Just a question.
Where in the world are all you lovely ladies from, I’m guessing some/ all of you live in the US maybe? I myself am from and live in the UK, England.
Hope you don’t mind me asking I was interested to know,
I like reading all your posts it makes me feel I am not alone and gives me a valuable insight into the workings of an Aqua’s mind, its kind of therapeutic in an odd kind of way if you know what I mean lol
Bye for now
I too am in the UK. We should have a meet up 🙂
Question for any of you out there please. Why do Aqua men see fit to just walk away without a word when things are going great?? Why can’t they at least tell you they no longer want the relationship. I tried to ask my man but he had no answer for me so I had to let the question drop.
Small world Need Aqua Help 🙂 I live in Lancashire.
Have you contacted him yet?
In answer to your question I think its just simply easier for them to walk away from us for days, weeks, years, for EVER without explanation.
We all know they can’t and won’t handle emotions, and to explain to us why they feel the need to walk away, would probably involve some kind of emotional showdown with us from questions we may ask.
And they hate confrontation of any kind!
This is how I am 99% sure I lost mine, too probing with emotional questions, push to far and he would just close up or get annoyed, having said that at times he would show his emotional side of his own free will, and he could be so loving and caring, my ex has even played love songs down the phone to me, because he said they can say it better than he can.
I have read Aquarians are not driven by emotion so find it alien to them when we get upset, a lot of Aquarians would sooner have a girl as a “friend” type relationship, its less scary for them.
I have also read Aquarians would rather show their love for you in practical ways, eg doing things for and helping you in any way they can, I believe this to be true of my ex.
As for the reason not telling you they may want to end the relationship, in my view its because they want to keep the door open, to go about their adventures and then return in their own time with an arrogance we will be waiting for their return, uncannily they are usually right.
With out sounding obsessive lol, I follow @AboutAquarius on Twitter. Its little snippets of Aquarius traits, so many I can identify in my ex its freaky, take a look its a bit of fun.
Hi ladies,
I am from the states, California.
I must say I am glad I found you all as it’s helping me get through this ordeal with this aqua (can’t say he is mine anymore as I have not heard from him). So this is theraputic for me too.
I was just telling my friend I had found you all over the weekend and that from the posts here you’d swear we were dating the same guy lol. Don’t know why these aquas think they can just come and go, run and hide and just leave us waiting and wondering. It’s kind of sad when you think of it to go through life like that.
Stay strong ladies & take care!
Hi Need Aqua Help,
At the risk of being thumped, well called a few names………
If he walks away, he’s told you……..because you just can’t excuse that infantile behaviour. start putting up with that crap and then give it a title of being Aquarius and that’s what they do……. is just buying into the crap.
If he has left you on your ownsome wondering……..wonder no more it’s just the same old. same old. The the choice is yours.
Well I’m a Leo woman and I just will not take that if he decides to be on his own so be it! BIG MISTAKE.
Mutual respect or forget it.
Yes I have laws and treat me like garbage do it once more fool you,do it twice more fool me.
It dosen’t mean to say my heart isnt shattered to pieces and then some.
Again Aquarius I’m the LEO.
If someone left me when “things are going great” yet thinks I am undeserving of an explanation, they just disappear they had better stay Gone. I will never be that humble and yes it annoys me that anyone thinks that sort of behaviour is ok meaning Mr Aqua. It is head frying stuff and any man who behaves like this is of low character or without B—s and I am a very strong woman OK.
Sorry but I have read this once to often. I just hope this help’s someone please no matter how bad you are feeling you so deserve better than that..
Again protect yourself from acts like this there can be no excuse the minutes, hours, days and weeks go by and your wondering, to me this is an act of CRUELTY and EMOTIONAL ABUSE sorry but this is my answer to the question with no offence intended.
Annie
@Annie,
You are so right! I’m not putting up with this crap either. I am an Ariess so I like lots of attention and to know that you’ll be there. And excusing their childish, selfish behavior as just being an aqua isn’t going to cut it. Yes I’m hurt and feel played but I’m too strong of a women and a good person than to let someone treat me and make me feel like crap. It’s his loss!!
Annie
You are so right in what you say! It was just a question as so many women seem to go through the same thing from time to time.
Lozzy
I’m in the North. Yes I did get back in touch with him but haven’t seen him yet. I’m not sure how I feel any more so I’m the one putting US on hold. At least I have told him this and it is up to him if he wants to stick around and wait for me. Either way I’m not sure I care less to be honest. It has all been his way or no way….up until now….but after 3 years I deserve better. They are all such hard work when it shouldn’t be. They have to push and push to see how much you will put up with. Sorry but if I had wanted to be with an A** Hole I would have stayed married. The worst thing is….they have no idea why they are in and out of relationships all the time….they really don’t see what they have done wrong….what a sad life they all must have!!! And BOY do they miss out on something good. The more you love them, the less respect they have for you. I have never known anything like it.
Randomness…
I work in a medical clinic and was just checking in a patient. He was with his wife. I asked him to verify his date of birth and guess what…he’s an aqua. I so wanted to ask her so how many times has he disappeared on ya? Is he cold and aloof? How did you get him to put a ring on it??? Lol…ah back to work.
Haha too funny!!! You should have asked, she might have helped a few of us to understand.
That is so funny ConfusedAries and exactly what I would be thinking.
You really made me laugh!
Annie.
Been a while since I have been here and read all your updates. In the meantime, I have been abroad for a few days to a family wedding which was great and then had a set-back. Over the weekend, I met an old friend who I had not seen in a while and she asked me about the guy I had been seeing (earlier posts oblige). I gave her the details as best I could right down to the final Houdini act. She was shocked and asked me how I felt. That was an interesting question… I said ‘sad’ without closure, ‘disappointed, by such a lack of courage, ‘mad’ at having been treated like this and grieving a love won and lost and then failure for both him and me. It brought it all back and I had a bad nights sleep just thinking about it. Really, without wishing my life away, I am just looking forward to six months down the line when this thing will hopefully have disappeared into the recesses of my mind and become just a memory, and by then hopefully, I will be in a normal, healthy and balanced relationship. And then…
Need Aqua Help, you are doing great, sounds like you have a handle on it and I am sure you are at a turning point. Sounds like you might meet him in the future? If you do, you are now well armed and equipped to handle him.
Lozzie, you really did nothing wrong. You were driven to say what you said to try and get a reaction. I think he knows that.
Beyonder, i hope your health turns positive soon an I do hope it is not because of him, although it seems as if you and him are pretty stable ? and Annie, could no agree more, all the people we meet in this life, family, lovers, friends, coworkers come along to teach us something but that takes reflection and working out. Finally, ConfusedAries, I am not great at advice but yiu seem to have met a bad egg, and I think the advice everybody has given yiu has been spot on, I am sure he will come crawling back and is when you most need to be on your guard. The weak moment, lol. We all have them. I did forget to say, that after I had the chat with my friend I NEARLY had that weak moment myself. It came in to my mind to send the dreaded text, but I did not. So I guess I must have reserves of strength. Love to all x
Hi
Yes talking about it to others does bring it all flooding back. Don’t give in now!! He knows where you are and if he wants to step up he will do.
It’s hard for me doing what I am doing as it’s not in my nature to be this strong/stubborn. I REALLY want to hold him but at the same time I’m doing well without him and I am scared to take the risk of seeing him, he could start the whole process all over again. I don’t need that. He’s not happy that I have taken the lead, I don’t think it has ever happened to him before. His unpradictability has become prodictable to me but he can’t handle it from me. It’s one rule for them and another for us. I DON’T THINK SO MR. Not this time. He could be off meeting others by now, but at the end of the day I will know for sure (if he does) I wasn’t “all that” to him if he can’t wait for me to sort this out in my own head.
All in all I feel great and what ever happens happens. You will get there too just give it some time but DON’T GIVE IN now you are doing great.
@Timeout
Yes things have been pretty stable so far for the past 4 Months or so but……..
I’m fearing that I need to brace myself for one of those magic acts they like to do.
My Health issues are due to bad allergies and a poor diet(yep) Happens when you’ve been raised by your Puertorican Grandmother all your life. She is now 93. My life revolves around her and my 8yo autistic Daughter. Though you’d think it wasn’t for the simple fact of me coming here to compare notes about these aqua fellas.
Side note
The past year my spirituality has grown.
So I’m on somewhat of a spiritual journey, between healing, helping people overcome grief and similar life burdens.
My problem is I look after everyone else and forget to look after myself. But this is not the case any more. It’s time to take care of me.
I hope the rest of you are doing the same. I know that keeping busy in life, work, family, career etc helps us forget about the heartache these guys can put us through.
***My wish for all of you is that your aqua guy’s grow some balls, enough to finally poor their hearts to you about why they are in hiding. Whether it be bad news or good news. I think they(Men) have this tendency to hide the truth from US(Women) bc they think they are sparing us the hurt from knowing the truth. However, I just don’t think they understand that the NOT KNOWING is what hurts and can drive us nearly insane! This is some cases. Now if they’re avoiding for other reasons, we don’t know unless….again they grow some cojones and come clean.***
We all know that Men can’t read our minds and vice versa. But I believe that sometimes we have to just lay it all on the line. Either make the decision that he is no longer worth our tears and move on or put your foot down, spill your guts and hold your breath til he decides to come clean about WHY he’s gone poof on you!
You all have years invested with your guys right? I’ve only known him a little over a year. I hope I don’t go through any heart ache in the future. Lord knows I couldn’t handle it though I have coped with loss recently and coped with it well. Sighs
Light and Blessings to you all ❤
P.S.
I apologize if I tend to go on and on about off topic things.
As a Gemini I have a million things running through my mind -.-
@Time out,
Your message could not have come at a better time. I was chatting with a good guy friend of mine this morning (a fellow aries) and he was asking me how I am doing and felt about the situation now. I told him I was ok with it and moving on. In reality his question just made all the emotions and questions come back and I realize that I am not yet over it.
It’s been one week today since I heard from aqua. And I was just about to have a weak moment and call him (knowing he wouldn’t answer)…then something told me to hold off and check my email to see if anyone had posted here. Thank goodness I did, your message was right on time and what I needed. I AM NOT CONTACTING HIM!! I did nothing wrong. I too cannot wait until time heals my wounds and I can truly say I am over this and could care less.
Take care ladies!
Sooooo glad you didn’t contact him. He is another thing altogether. You really did meet a bad un!!! and your better off without him. You sound a kind, loving person and you deserve someone that will treat you how you should be treated. HE COULD NEVER DO THAT, he doesn’t sound like he has it in him!! Never look back on that one “karmer is your friend”. What goes round comes round and will bight him on the butt!!
You are right, do NOT contact him, however vulnerable and weak you feel and we all have those days. Stay off his radar. Time. Just need time and there is plenty of it. You will be ok. Take all the time you need for YOU. hard to forget, but it can be done with a little steel and determination. New beginnings, lessons to be learned for all of us. Not easy but it WILL be better. Keep going. Keep strong and build yourself up, day by day. He will be the sorry one, when he needs love, he will turn around and there will be nobody there. You cannot just enter somebody s life, create turmoil and walk away. It just does not work like that. That is what I believe. You take but you also have to give. My philosophical mood for this evening. Lol Take care and look after yourself and cherish your friends. Xx
Time out
Do you live in the UK??
@Need Aqua,
Thanks for your kind words. I am a firm believer in karma and it is why I treat others as I wish to be treated. You are right it will come back around on him.
You all have made me truly open my eyes and see him for what he is. I thank you all for that 🙂
Need Aqua Help, I live in France, but not French, have been her for 14 years now and it is great. Going to Manchester next week where I have lived and worked for many years, so have a lot of friends there. Moved to France for my job. A little insight on me. You are also from north UK, I believe. That makes a few of us. I am a capricorn and so true to my sign. X
I’m a Capricorn too 🙂 I have family in Monaco, they will be coming over this weekend. We are all having a BIG family do!! I’m not to far from Manchester, small world isn’t it?? Enjoy and I hope the weather is kind to you next week, it’s been very odd of late. Who needs the pain of an Aqua when you have great friends
Small world, wow! What a coincidence. Think I saw Lancashire on these posts too. Takes Aman s blog (where is Aman?) to link up. Capricorn mmmm. Apparently air and earth do not mix so well. No give. Never the twain shall meet. Lol
Ps. Wonder why you asked me if I lived in the UK. An afterthought, smile.
I guessed when you said about bieng in a philosophical mood this evening. It was evening here when I read it and wouldn’t have been if you were in the US.
The last few comments have been deleted because were spam posts.
Aman….
Thank you Aman
I knew they were unacceptable.
Beyonder
When you said your guy went missing for 3 months, did you get in touch with him or did he get in touch with you?
Long version or short version? lol
Well after finally trying to move on with someone else(who was salso aqua -.-) and after having not heard from him for a few Months I figured. Heck let me at least try. So I called thinking he wouldn’t answer and there he was. We spoke at least 15 mts. I told him: I’m surprised you answered. He said: He was surprised that I called. We’d text back and forth, flirty and fun. We decided to give it another try end of July 2012. Besides that, there was the last time I only went 10 days without hearing from him lol.Took me telling him a FINAL Goodbye to hear from him. October I think it was Haha
Needaquhelp I’m sure you wanted the short version but I’m an analytical chick lol
Hi Ladies,
Wow 3 months? Well I have decided to move on from mine. It’s been going on 3 weeks and no contact from him. I went on a date last weekend with a guy I used to talk to a while back but umm no sparks there. Tonight I am supposed to go bowling with an old friend so we will see how that goes lol. As much as I hate to admit it, I still think of Mr. Aqua often. Today I was browsing my inbox on fb and read over the messages we exchanged. Funny how they can switch from being this wonderful guy who sweeps you off your feet to ice cold like you don’t exist. Well I am not going to dwell on it. Moving on!
Hi Confused Aries
Unless he has a personality transplant I think you are so much better off without him!!! Delete all messages from him and phone number and put it down to a blip! Hope the bowling goes well, let us know won’t you? Life goes on and you will meet the one you are meant to be with, forget about him.
Hi NeedAqua,
As soon as I saw your reply I logged into fb and deleted those messages. I also deleted the ones we exchanged via yahoo. Don’t know why I was hanging on to them.
So my date last night…after getting my kids situated it was kind of late so we decided to skip bowling and just go get a bite to eat. This guy had me laughing and smiling from ear to ear the entire time. Great sense of humor which I like. Been knowing him for about a year but with him school/work and me kids/work this was our 1st time actually getting together and hanging out. Talk of a 2nd date is already in the works! He is a Sagittarius. So we will see how things go. I will be sure to keep you all posted.
Hey
Happy Mothers day Ladies. :o)
Aw that’s fantastic news, if you can have a laugh that’s a great start. No more looking back!!
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
And yes no more looking back! 🙂
Haha no longer confused!!
Formerly/ConfusedAries,
Wishing you all the best, you sound so lovely and very upbeat.
I’m glad you are getting out and enjoying yourself.
Well done YOU!
Lozzy
How are you doing, I hope you are feeling better than you were.
@Annie,
Aww thanks! I am trying to get out more and enjoy life. Over the last yr I have lost about 80lbs so I am trying to enjoy the new me!
Funny thing happened yesterday too…took some new pics on Mother’s day and uploaded them to facebook. Got a message the next day when I logged in. It was the cutest thing an old classmate who I used to have a crush on messaged me saying he remembered me and how beautiful I am etc. Long story short we chatted all day on fb, finally exchanged numbers and talked on the phone for like 2hrs last night. So I am not looking back. Aqua’s loss 🙂
Wow well done you!!!
I too have met up with a new man. He has been asking me out on and off for about a year. I never did anything about it as I have always been a one man woman. Now things are so up in the air with Mr Aqua I thought why not. He is a fellow Cap so will see how it pans out. It makes a nice change for a man to be texting me, asking me out and doing all the work. I forgot what that was like after all this time with Aqua dude.
Be happy, have fun, we are only here once, got to make the most of it. Far better than questioning what an Aqua is doing and why they are like they are. I’m not sure they are worth the love we have to give.
Awesome Aries/F.C.A.
I am really pleased for you enjoy every moment.
Now apart from putting less in your gob any tips on your wonderful weight loss.
PLeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!
Need Aqua Help,
I’m so glad you also are moving on, you deserve happiness.
Its funny how we all ” Love a bad boy” but the wiser ones know to stick to the “Yes Men” I havent got there yet, I like a battle!
Anyway Enjoy Yourself. If you see an Aqua man approach with CAUTION!
@Annie,
Thanks for the new name, I love it! 🙂 As far as the weight loss I started out cutting back on carbs, eating lean meats, veggies and drinking lots of water. Walking too is key. After I saw about 15-20lbs come off I allowed myself more carbs, increased the walking. For instance I try to incorporate walking every way I can throughout my day. I will park far from the grocery store or mall etc. So that I walk more. At work I walk on my breaks and lunch period after I eat. I also walk after dinner. So basically eating less and moving more. Now I pretty much eat anything (including sweets, fried foods) just do it in moderation and know my limit. The walking is also good for me mentally. Nothing like a nice long walk to clear my head.
@NeedAqua,
Good for you! Doesn’t it feel great?! You are so right we only live once so we have to get on with things. The Aqua’s aren’t sitting somewhere dwelling on us, they are out living their lives, so should we. When we finally move on for good they will then realize what they had. I hope everything goes well with you and the new guy.
One good thing I can say about my Aqua experience, it has taught me patience. As an Aries I’m impatient by nature. But, when dealing with an Aqua you have no choice but to be or you’ll drive yourself up the wall lol. So now if a guy doesn’t call/text me for a day or two I don’t freak out…nor do I any longer interrogate them when we do finally speak lol.
Things are looking up ladies. Weight loss and new boyfriends on the horizon. Same for me. Have accepted to meet a man who has been asking me out for so long but I have been putting him on hold hoping for a reply from the other one, the Houdini man. But tell me, if the aquarius guy came back to you with undying love, how would you respond a. Tell him to go hang you have found somebody else. b. Give in and accept to see him again or c. Just ignore. I think I would ignore. What would you do? It is something that bothers me. To what extent have I really let him go?
Time out,
Obviously you have not let him go and yes that is understandable!
Although they are Aquarius they are all very different. My experience is that he would never ever return claiming his undying love, he would rather choke to death and thats if he is genuine!
The more worrying thing is I know they like to return just to see how available you are, big mistake and we all know how plausible they can be its a really scary situation.
They are fixed signs and even though they find it hard to make a go of a relationship having you dangling is the next best thing.
They have hidden but huge ego’s and you can easily fall into the trap of being their number one fan. Pouring out the love which he cannot handle.
I once read and in my case its true a lot of Aqua men have had difficult childhoods and didnt form attachments, in my case his mother gave him up. I would love to know everyones take on this,
Sadly and it is only my opinion, if he has been gone for some time for your own sanity I would let it be, Otherwise you open yourself up
to anything.
They are beautiful and elusive and I would let him go with LOVE.
I can’t say if he comes back he is yours.
Ive heard it said “WHAT EVER MADE YOU THINK YOU HAD HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE”
Miracles do happen and as I have said before they have alot to teach us and please take that from your relationship.
If my relationship ended tomorrow I know I could never hate him and that would make it very hard to forget him.
Take care Time out, other people will have a different take on your question this is only my opinion.
With much Love,
Annie.
@Timeout,
I ask myself the same thing. I still think about him because as Annie has said “can’t hate him and that would make it hard to forget him.” But, for me I know I am worth more than to be someones puppet and to let him just play with me when he feels like it. Also, I just have a feeling in my gut my Aqua won’t be back. I know you all have dealt with them longer than me and yours have probably shown you otherwise, but I just feel it’s final. I’m okay with that and moving on. It’s just I have had other hunches about him which turned out to be true so hopefully this one is too and I won’t have to deal with that question. I mean a few days after I deleted this guy from fb, he changed his settings where only his friends can message him. Then he had posted on another site we were friends on he was about to change his phone number, lol. So good, hope he stays away!
Hi All,
I have found with them, if they are the ones walking away without a word. They do come back into your life. If you are the one telling them enough is enough, they don’t normally come back.
I don’t and couldn’t hate my Aqua, he is a special man. But I can’t be the one for him, otherwise he wouldn’t have gone away for months at a time. I think if he wanted to see me again….I would. But not as a getting back together meet, just as a friendly meet/closure even. I have taken my time this time and feel sure his hold on me has gone….FOR GOOD…..I still love him…I know that… but it’s not the same for me anymore. He took my love for granted so many times, but now at long last I don’t want him back in that way at all.
This new man…if he says he will ring me…he does. If he makes plans for a night out, we go….no more all dressed up and let down last minute. No more being ignored for no reason at all. I can at long last relax and enjoy. Life should be fun not stress, and I know this new man must like me ..as he waited for me all this time.
If I were you ladies, and yours did come back…after time…I would meet him, be cool, act happy with life, so he knows he no longer has that hold on you. Have the upper hand but be very cute about it. Life is too short to be mean to them, question them etc….As we all know they don’t mean to do the things they do, it’s just how they are…doesn’t make it right… but seen as they all do the same things…ignoring…going missing etc…I’m sure it must be an Aqua thing and we either have to live with it or we don’t.
Hi Ladies,
Hope everyone is doing well!
Don’t judge me, but in a moment of weakness I reached out to Mr. Aqua on fb. Just a simple “hey, hope things are good”. Was not at all expecting a reply and I was fine with that. Well, he replied. We had a brief exchange, just basically him saying he hoped I was well too and thanked me for saying I was glad to hear he was good. Short and sweet, but I’m just shocked he replied. My friend said for him to even respond shows that he means well. Now, I’m tempted to ask him if he wants to meet up and hang out, just to have some closure. I know he is leaving Friday to go back home so time is limited. If that wasn’t the case I would be fine with things the way they are and just wait and see how they play out. Ladies, please chime in…could use you all’s input here.
@AwesomeAries
I’m the last to judge lol
Just make sure that when you say closure that you don’t mean poking and prodding. Though I can relate. Because after HIS first disappearing act I asked so many questions like: Was there someone else. Did I do something..his answer was no to all.
If you do get together simply ask: What have you been up to? That is a question that aquas are known for!
@Beyonder,
Thanks for the advice. I am going for a walk to sort it out in my head, hopefully lol. It took me over an hour to compose a response to his initial reply lol. I didn’t want to say too much, too less, needed the right balance. Still in shock that I even got a response. Well off on my walk I go…will keep you all posted on the outcome.
Hi Awesome.
After all I have said………………………………..in your case I would say we all have to go with our heart,
If you initiate this please……………………………………….stay cool Even if your heart it lying on the floor…………… again be sweet but cool.
Let him see what a great place you are in.
I do admire you I love people who do there own thing!
Sent with heaps of love,
Annie.
@Annie,
Thank you. I do tend to beat to my own drum at times, sometimes it works in my favor sometimes it doesn’t. But, I at least like to make an effort to have a go at something, rather than not and sit back wondering, what if?
So, I went ahead and messaged him just saying I know he is busy with getting ready to go home etc., but if he had some time maybe we could get together and have a few laughs etc. I closed by saying it was good to hear from him. He replied it was good to hear from me too…and you never know. Hmmm, I won’t read too much into it as we know aqua’s are unpredictable. But at first glance, seems like he’s moved on and is not interested in seeing me again, and I am cool with that. At least he replied even if he isn’t saying much or exactly what I wanted to hear. So, I will leave things as is, and if he decides to contact me again cool, if not no hard feelings.
I wouldn’t go their if I were you. HE IS BAD NEWS. If he does decide to meet up with you he will be expecting the same he got before “in the bedroom department”. As said before his actions aren’t him being an Aqua, he is a player!! Don’t give him the satisfaction of hurting you all over again.
You said you are meeting new people….keep doing that and don’t look back…..The comment…you never know…was his ego talking and him being an ASS. You have done well without him so far, keep it up.
The comment I made in my last post was about them getting in touch with you first….and after making them wait a while…meet up for closure. That was about Aqua’s going missing etc…your “man” is something else altogether!! I hope I don’t upset you by saying this, I just don’t want you to hurt all over again.
Hello all, and a few things to say. Awesome Aries – great new name ! You seem such a nice person and wonder why you are still giving the time of day to this guy but I do understand. I am the philosophical one and can see many points of view. There is something about your story that means you have to go right to the bitter end to get your answer. I suppose it is a bit like reading a book. First the beginningnthat engages you, then the bit in the middle where the characters start to unveil themselves and then the ending that nobody can ever predict. Sometimes, it is to your liking, and sometimes the fairytale ends bad. You are searching an ending to your story – yes a happy ending – good luck – but any ending will do as long as it is an ending and you can just move on. But as aqua help has said, look out for yourself and do not be a convenience store. I have to agree, this guy seems selfish, immature and be very careful, he may be a user. It will come back to bite him.
@ Annie, thanks for your words of wisdom. I have thought about what you said, especially, letting go with love. I have. The hate word is not part of my vocab. On the abandonment issues. Spot on. The guy I was seeing was given up by his mother and adopted. He definitely had a problem with attachment, at least to me lol. Well, I am now seeing another guy, a libra. It is going great. More consistency and definitely, more affection. Great. Love to all
@NeedAqua,
I am not upset at all…I came here for advice and I am open and receptive to it all.
As far as him responding how he did because he’s an ass, lol, I get that and feel the same way. If he wanted to see my he would have responded differently. Which is why I am leaving things be. Just having him respond was enough closure for me.
I still am meeting new people, heck I even have a few exes beating down my door, but not going there lol. It’s just even though I have been meeting new people and getting all this attention from other men I still wanted to hear from Aqua. And I got what I wanted so I’m good. 🙂
Time out
Great news for you, I’m really happy for you!! Same goes for me, it’s so nice to have someone that shows you they care isn’t it? Mr Aqua is still contacting me on and off but I think he is only hanging on because I’m not. Very odd….when we were together he wouldn’t contact much at all, now we are not he contacts me…..confusing or what 🙂
Awsome
Him saying what he said is a game they like to play! He wants you waiting around to see if he gets back to you. I wouldn’t be shocked if he leaves it til last minute to contact you and expect you to meet him at a moments notice!! If he does this…PLEASE tell him you are busy, don’t fall for it. They love to think you are sat doing nothing but waiting on them. After three years I got the hang of the way they are!! They treat you bad but can’t handle it when you stand up for yourself. Be happy…Mr right is just around the corner…bet ya!!
Time out
Lovely to hear from you!
I was so interested in what you said about your Aqua and his mother,
that really is very interesting…………………….
So it seems girls we will have little to talk about as you all have moved on.
I come to this site because I deal with a very different creature even though we love each other life is not ordinary.
As I have told you all before I am a Leo and quite use to men dropping at my feet and me stepping over them and knowing exactly where I have them. Not so anymore.
Not to be beat I needed info and have learned so much here I like a challenge but need to stay one step ahead and at times he had me CLUELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Need Aqua, I have read keep an Aqua hungry and I have learned it to be true.
Awesome, thankyou for sharing your experience and leaving your heart out there, who could think bad of you Love is always an awesome thing and you are very LOVELY don’t ever forget it.
Anyway Ladies I will stay tuned.
With Love as always.
Annie.
Annie
If you have problems with your man and I have been through the same thing and I can help you I will!! You only have to ask.
I will never forget my Aqua, still love him very much.But it’s nice to know where I stand with people. It felt at times he had no respect and after a while you ask yourself…..what is the point? I was questioning myself all the time…does he even love me….has he had enough and just doesn’t know how to tell me? Pride steps in after a time and I had to let go.
Re his childhood, he had a controling dad, who cheated on his mum “a lot”. That said, in the three years I was with him I always trusted him, that was one thing I never questioned.
I still read what you ladies have to say as I think it’s mind blowing how they all seem to do the same things. So if you need a question answered and I can help I am here. You have been of help to me at times of need, so I will do the same.
Please don’t keep it all to yourself, as private as I know you are it’s good to talk!! That’s what this blog is for.
Oh, there is still plenty to say! Yes, we are all now experts in the Aqua domain!! And Dear Aqua Help, as you said, it cannot be a coincidence that we have all similar experiences, to a greater or lesser degree. Same for me. I bear no grudge, no regrets, had a lovely time (when he was around and not disappearing lol), I too trusted him, there was no funny business going on – I am confident of that – just disappointed with the ending or non-ending I should say, I think that can be put down to a lack of courage on his part and if I am being VERY kind, it was his way maybe of avoiding saying something that would hurt me. But I am afraid, it does not work like this. his intentions were probably well placed (probably) but as they say, if you are mature enough to enter a relationship then you should apply the same maturity when you decide to exit one and do it in a manly (or womanly) way. And then, If I have not contacted him, it is not really that I am exercising an extraordinary feat of willpower, but because I am protecting myself. Truly, I could not repeat those cycles again, it is crazy-making not to know where you are with somebody, not to know what to expect, have they gone, are they coming back, what do they really think of you. I am not saying that I want to settle for ‘boring’, I do like a little undpredicability but I also like a little consistency. What I will say, is that it is probably the relationship which has most marked me and which I will not forget easily, I do think (believe) there was a very special bond between us, which cannot be denied. I also think the way you have been brought up, early childhood experiences, have a huge bearing on the adult you turn out to be and are all determining. Meet the man but you must discover the boy to really understand what you are dealing with and then, so hard to change it and do you really want to and is it your job to fix and can you even do that? In my case, his father was very controlling and mean, military-like and definitely, there were big issues there. Oh dear, I am philosophizing again, stay tuned! do tell us some more Annie, you are intriguing me 🙂 smile
Spot on with every word you say. It’s all very very sad that they can’t man up and say it as it is. Do they really think that not telling us doesn’t hurt? That’s the only part to the whole mess that I can’t let go of. I could ask him… seen as he has been in touch with me but I know he wouldn’t answer.
Annie, clueless is a brilliant description. Dr Spock. am I right, a kind of naivete as regards to how to treat a woman. We are like aliens in their hands. They like to retreat to the crowds, clubs, and anything that avoids too personal. d ont you think ?
Hi Ladies,
I know mine is as Need Aqua says ‘something else’ but they all have the same Aqua characteristics. And it’s just crazy to me how they all disappear and say nothing. I wanted to ask my Aqua so much but I know he wouldn’t respond. His responses were short already so I can just imagine if I’d started questioning him he probably would have gone silent altogether.
Don’t know why I didn’t bring this up earlier, but I do have another Aqua male friend I met years ago. He wasn’t as bad as this recent one, but he too did stood me up and would go missing. Was supposed to fly in from Texas and spend a few weeks with me. I had made all these plans and preparations. Talked to him up until the night before his departure then not a word. Wouldn’t answer my phone calls, emails etc. Took him a few weeks to reply and when I asked why he didn’t show up, he said because he had a lot going on and was sorry. That was 7 or so years ago now. Mind you, he and I are still friends and keep in touch. He will call/text me like crazy tell me how much he still has feelings for me, then back off for months at a time. Then I will get a random text or message on fb and the cycle starts all over again. But, since i know how he is I don’t give him the time of day. He is cool to chit chat and flirt with but I know it will never be anything more. He was even supposed to get married at one point to some women he met, said he was the one etc….he’s still single lol. Really no words for these guys. But, I know if I was able to get over my old Aqua and friend zone him, I will this recent one too.
Timeout,
To try to answer your question I would say his main fault is he is too controlled for me. I am finding it hard to put into words, if you ask him to do something he will do it, I dont always want to ask! He walks away from an argument, he never drinks and is Mr Perfect.
As I have told you I am older and yet seem juvenile compared to him.
When I write this I feel sort of like I’m nit picking because he is Loyal,
hardworking and so good to me. I would just like him to loosen up a bit more, let go and stop being so closed up, or hurt or something,
Sadly he would never admit that he is hurt by anything in his past.
Thats just all bricked up. . I just want him to let go.
I probably havent explained this very well. I do love him to bits though.
I wonder what he would write about me, he always tells me I’m STRANGE. POT, KETTLE, BLACK!
My name is miss Lilian am giving a testimony on how a spell caster has bring back my ex boy friend. I meant a friend who directed me to Prophet Jakula at the internet who help people to solve their problem, then i explain my problem to Prophet Jakula he said i should not worry about that, that i should give he 2days for him to caster a spell after that 2days my ex boy friend called me on my officer line then he started begging. That is how my ex boy friend came back to me please contact prophetjakula@gmail.com……Lilian.
Hello Ladies,
Update on my story…guess who’s buzzing around again. Yup, Mr. Aqua. Guess I got what I wanted right? He’s back calling, texting, being the guy I fell for. Just I know better this time…so sometimes I don’t answer, or I wait a few hours etc. before I respond to his text. He apologized and told me he was wrong for standing me up, that he basically got scared and ran. I didn’t bring it up, our conversation started casual, then he went into it saying he knows he was wrong etc. He kept asking me what I had been up to, was I seeing anyone? I knew he was asking me, because he had. I told him I was dating, he got quiet. Then told me he still liked me and really wanted to try things again. I asked him was he dating anyone, he said one of his exes had come back into the picture but that she is an ex for a reason. I asked him was he sure about that, he tells me he wouldn’t be on the phone with me if he wasn’t. I basically just listened, let him do all the asking and volunteering information. He then throws out there that he hasn’t been with anyone since me, was just talking to the ex briefly but he thought about me everyday, just couldn’t bring himself to call. Starts saying how being a soldier and being deployed for long periods of time affects how he interacts with people and he doesn’t mean to be the way he is etc. Anyway, I told him there was no rush on things, we could be friends and see where things go, but that I WILL NOT put up with any more lies or disappearing acts or he can just forget about me altogether.
I am still intrigued by my Aqua, he still makes me laugh, we have great conversations etc., but I just don’t feel the way I felt about him before he disappeared. That’s a good thing! I am still dating, and going to continue to date others. Just living my life being me and will continue to do so with or without Aqua around.
Hi Ladies. I thought I should share someone’s comment on a different blogging site. This is their opinion and I believe they’re on point…maybe in most cases though? But we hate to admit it….sighs
‘Aquarius men for the most part are compulsive, habitual liars. They do a lot of double talk and then act like you are the one crazy, or lying. Most times when they disappear it is because they are sleeping with and/or dating other women. Yes, they can be aloof and want time to themselves but think about it who needs a month or so, weeks or so or days on end to regroup ALL THE TIME? It’s game ladies pure and simple. If he’s disappearing on you frequently, it’s because he is running game on you. Unless you are just a gluton (sp?) for punishment, find a different guy. They should list cheating and compulsive lying under the Aquarius personality profile as I have yet to meet one who doesn’t and it appears from other posts not too many other people have either…’
Yup! I read something similar on another site and I feel it’s true. Usually when I get that gut feeling another woman is involved, he tells me (in his words of course which I know is not the complete truth). That is why I am just keeping things friendly.
I just met another Aqua lol. He too came on strong, knew all the right things to say so I was curious to know his sign. When he said Aqua I burst out laughing. He’s like what’s so funny? I’m like Aquarius men are, but of course he claims he is not the “typical” Aquarius guy. Yeah sure lol
Dear Beyonder, first I hope you are feeling better, as I recall, you had been feeling unwell. and then a comment on your post. I agree but disagree. People can disappear for many reasons. Financial worries, troubled by doubts they cannot express and run instead, overwhelmed, and yes of course cheating too, and goodness knows what else. Nothing is ever black and white and not everything can be attributed to the day, month, year and time we were born, there is so much more that comes into play. But I can say something with 100 per cent certainty. People who disappear have problems communicating on an emotional level or otherwise, they would be able to explain why they want out. That is just messed up, irresponsible, totally uncaring and hugely disrespectful, well adjusted adults can do it and wrap things up nicely, bid farewell and yes, give closure to their significant other, knowing that it is of course a hugely difficult thing to do because it always spells rejection. I bet that in most cases, there were already communication problems and the disappearance is the final act. Whatever the reason, it is just not right or normal or loving and it is left to us to dust ourselves down and pick ourselves up and go forward with the dignity of knowing that you are not the problem, but them. We should focus not on the ‘why’ did he disappear, you may never know anyway, but on the WHAT will I do next and what can I take from it all I speak from experience remember and not a text book. It is what I believe. Leave them alone, muster up all the strength you have, do not go back looking for more trouble. Plenty of fish… Cheers to all
Yes I am much better. Just getting over pneumonia and as an asthmatic it sucked.
I forgot to mention that: Yeah aquas aren’t the only sign that cheat but one can’t help but think that is their thing when they go MIA. I have known a few aquas over the years and not all are cheats but they do fall hard and fast in the beginning.
Well in regards to MY Aqua things are still good. He is out of College until October and(ready for it) Is working as a Sub Para in my Daughter’s school…full time at that. Though I’m happy he’s making his $$ I’m wondering if he’s going to have less time for me…..though I just saw him Monday. I do love him and I know he loves me……….
BUT
As someone who has put my caretaker FIRST, since Grandma is 93 now and I’ve been with her since I was 3 days old…… I tend to feel that maybe he thinks I’m a loser because I’m not doing much in regards to my career……….yet.
Lately for some reason whenever I think of him I get extremely sentimental and start crying myself to sleep because there’s still this sense of uncertainty. Though it’s good that he and I are taking things slow still….my emotions are catching up. Meaning I’m growing more and more fond of this guy. And there are other factors that worry me. Like I don’t trust him 100 percent. He still needs to prove that I can trust him…in a sense.
Now he’s so sweet, respectful, patient and doesn’t ever seem phased by anything. Not to mention he is calm and seems level headed. Sorry Not trying to brag but trying to compare the positives and negatives.
The main negative thing about him is I feel he has a very hard time communicating his sentiments towards me(who doesn’t?)
But I’m hoping he feels secure and soon enough to let me know that I can trust that he’s not going to run off with the next young hottie(rolls eyes).
and here I stop blabbin………… -.-
We can all say that about who ever we are seeing. All you can do is go with the flow and hope for the best. If he is seeing you and not going missing then you are in a good place with him. Don’t worry about things that haven’t happened or might never happen.
You have had your moments with this guy, but you seem to have sorted things out. There are no set rules in life you just have to hope for the best. But I would say…you need to have trust….without that, it won’t work long term.
Love the new title Need Aqua Help. And Beyonder, glad your health is on the up. When I sent my post to you, I thought that he had disappeared with a capital D. The big one. He is still around. Enjoy and take one day at a time. What you said is very interesting, at the beginning, they fall hard. I can vouch for that. I think these aquarius guys have in their head THE ideal woman. Well dressed, beautiful, seductive, intelligent, popular, fun, good in bed, and all the rest that goes to make up a fantasy. And when you fall short of the ideal in their head, it is hard for them, with all our little faults, shortcomings, insecurities, weaknesses. And so on… They cannot deal with that and they keep searching, but they will probably never find the perfect love because maybe it does not exist and ultimately, they will of course be disappointed, VERY. because nobody is ideal, not even them, and they will end up disappointed, and in their head, settling for less than they anticipated, and they have to go away and process. Does that make any sense to you? Lots of love.
Time out
You are so right, mine used to say he didn’t know what he wants. He also said he still doesn’t know when he finds it. Don’t know about you but for me life is so much better now I don’t have to worry about him. Not having to ask myself what I did wrong, will I ever see him again etc….but I still find myself thinking about him soooo much. Not in a way that I want him back
just thinking about him. Now I have moved on I can think about him with a smile, I really hope that in time we could be friends but at the moment he once again isn’t speaking to me. Maybe because I wouldn’t take him back this time. I don’t think I will ever altogether get over him, but I’m happy with the choice I made. You can’t go on forever not knowing where you stand with someone who is meant to be your partner. I have let go but it still haunts me, does that make sense??
Saw him today, we spent some nice time together relaxing home, watching a movie and indoors because it’s a bit hot today. My Birthday is coming up next Month and we are going to the movies the weekend after.
I am on cloud 9 every time I See him. It’s like he’s my drug and I KNOW you all can relate to what I’m talking about o.O……right?
My best friend of 25 years who knows me better than I know myself told me that I need to take 2 steps back. This was after I told her about my being sentimental for the past few days. Because it’s true. If I let myself be governed by my sentiments then I may possibly say something to throw him off or worse, scare him off. I don’t need to question his feelings. I KNOW how he feels. I just have bad history with Men in General and not just the one’s I’ve dated. I never had a Father figure. Not my birth Father nor an Uncle ever try to support me emotionally. I don’t need financial support.
Why do Men seem to think that money will make us all Happy? I’m not that type of Woman. I just need security and once you have my full trust I will be the Happiest Chick in the World!
Ladies the weekend is almost here and it’s supposed to be near 90 where I’m from. Not looking forward to it too much!
@ No longer Need Aqua Help…nice new name! 🙂
@Beyonder….where are you from? It’s supposed to be hot out my way too.
I must say ladies I love logging into my email and reading the posts from you all. You all don’t know how much help you’ve been to me.
I am from the Bronx New York. Though at times I wished I lived in a non Urban place. Where are you from?
@Beyonder
I was born and raised in the San Francisco bay area, California but have lived in several different states. However, I always seem to find my way back home to Cali 🙂 New York is actually one of the top states on my list of places to visit.
Well although on opposite sides of the country lets both try and keep cool this weekend. At least you all have A/C…a lot of the older places here don’t like mine, so we just suffer during hot days. 😦
It’s actually a great and helpful piece of information. I am happy that you just shared this useful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.
Me again just when you thought you i had bailed out lol. Well, I have been thinking about this whole aquarian ‘friend’ thing and what it means. Never really understood it. I think I have figured it out. I have wondered why they need YOU as a friend when they already have plenty of others, or so it seems. You have noticed that they always want to be friends when the going gets heavy and after the honeymoon period, or after a time, years maybe when they feel they should be making some sort of commitment and they bail out in some form or other. Or so says mostly the ladies on this board. You dont even need to put pressure. Panic. When I think of friend, I think of no obligation, no stress, come and go, always there because the bond has been created. Even if I have had no contact with any friend, it does not unsettle me, because I know that sooner or later we will be in contact. When my friend cancels an evening out with some nebulous excuse, yes I get mad, aggravated, but it does not stir up raw emotions. I go to bed and sleep and I get over it. I am pieved but no more than that. I know we will get around to seeing each other. The fact that we have not been in contact for days or weeks does not make me obsessive, insecure, does not make me cry because I know they hold me dear and I am thinking of them, even through no contact, there are no demands and no undue expectations. I do not need daily confirmations of friendship either. I do not need to be reassured constantly because I know, even in their absence, I am on their mind and theirs on mine. And when finally we get together, it is good and relaxing and we catch up and all is good. No retributions or questions either, no ‘where have you been’, no ‘why did you not reply or pick up your phone’ no demands, you just pick up from where you left off and continue. Do you get it? This is I believe what those aquas want. Friendship with some extras and go easy on those emotions. Then out of friendship, a safe place, who knows, something else might evolve? Hope all is good and life is good.
Time out
I get what you are saying from their point of view. But From mine….a true friend would not ignore you for weeks, they would at least let you know they were busy or something. A true friend would not stand you up, with no explanation at all……If they have to back out of plans, but let you know they will not be seeing you, that’s ok….things come up from time to time. But to just back off with NO word is down right rude!!
No friendship or relationship should be SOOOO one sided. It should be about give and take!!! Mine ignored me for weeks, I backed off, during that time I saw him and totally ignored him…wow you should have seen his face. Was like I had slapped him with a wet fish haha!! They think it’s ok for them to do it, but if you do the same things back…they don’t know what to do. The world DOES NOT revolve around them and it’s high time they worked that one out.
They really do miss out on something very special….and for what?…..Because they think they know what you want from them…somehow without them bothering to ask you. They think you want to stop their gallop, stop them having fun, going out with their friends. When in truth all we ever wanted was a bit of respect. But if you try to explain this to them they still run.
There is something VERY WRONG with the way they are and it’s such a MASSIVE shame. They miss out, we miss out and it all becomes very confusing. There is no answer to the things they do. They think too much and feel sure they know you have an ulterior motive and run……When it would have been far better for them to just ask!!
@ No longer need Aqua help,
You hit the nail on the head! Well at least that has been my experience with my ex-Aqua! Remember he came back around? Well, it was short lived. Things were good for about a week then he started to pull away again. Me being the straightforward Aries I am, I decided to express myself. He tried to end the call saying he didn’t have time to talk about the past and that we could only be friends as I always put my foot in my mouth etc. The kicker, he tells me he is leaving the next day, I’m like and you didn’t bother to tell me or come see me before you go? He says, oh I was out your way all weekend, but you sent me a crappy text and I don’t have time for that. Wow really?? Forget that, I let him have it. Told him I don’t even want to be friends with an inconsiderate piece of crap like him, that he’s not a man and a few other choice words lol. I’m a sweet person until you push my buttons and get on my bad side. I won’t go into complete detail but after giving him a piece of my mind I hung up on him! After I did, boy did my phone start ringing off the hook and text messages started popping up. I ignored his calls and deleted the texts without reading them. Sent him one final text telling him to stop contacting me as I will not be reading any of his messages or answering his calls and closed it with GOODBYE! lol. He still sent a few texts afterwards, which I deleted too. Good riddance to bad rubbish!!! Part of me is curious as to what he was texting or had to say. Then again, who cares?! I am much better off now not wondering why he hasn’t called etc. I am a good person and deserve someone who will appreciate me, adore me, and not ignore me. It’s best in my opinion only to be friends with Aqua’s. They are great, wonderful, intriguing and all the stuff that makes us go wild over them. However, in the end they are just not worth it. At least not to me. Lesson learned, now when a guy tells me he is an Aqua I automatically look at him differently. And according to the zodiac Aries and Aqua’s are supposed to be good together…yeah ok lol.
Hi, I have NEVER posted on a blog before, but reading your comments have really led me to feel that you are very helpful with Aqua men! I basically just need some advice to make sure I am going about this properly..
First off, let me fill you in on a little background info: I am a Libra woman. I met my aqua in october of last year in a college class we had together. Finding him attractive, i approached him, and we ended up exchanging numbers.Long story short, we had a great connection, but I had no information about aquarians. As a result, I went about the friendship totally wrong (nagging, clinging, the whole 9..im surprised he put up with me lol). We went on a couple of dates and he was a COMPLETE gentleman. He was the FIRST man to ever open a car door for me! (this was when i felt like he was the one). Well his bday was coming up and i got pissed bc he stood me up for the plans i had for him and basically sent him a farewell txt. We stopped talking for 4 months, and during that time, I tried rly hard to stop thinking about him but i couldnt..
Finally, I gave in and emailed him (i didnt have his # any longer). Except this time, I had done all my “Aquaman” research and knew how to treat the situation. I decided to be myself and quit trying to get him to fall for me..I realized if he likes me it will be because he likes the REAL me. Things are great now..we txt all the time, and he spent the night with me after a week of contact (he stays an hr away). He couldnt keep his hands off of me, kissing me and holding me telling me he was soooo happy i emailed him. He begged me to shower with him (there was no sex involved, we just tlkd) and ended up sipping wine and talking into the night. We finally ended up having sex for the first time and Im sooo happy i made him wait all those months bc he really enjoyed himself ! =) That night he kept getting out of bed periodically to use the bathroom and when he would return to bed he would kiss my shoulder =) He had to leave early in the am and I didnt complain, I just thanked him for coming and told him I had a good time. He is still aloof at times and still ignores my txts every now and then (ughhh) but i never nag him about it i just go on with my life…there was a point in time when i didnt hear from him for 2 and a half wks until i finally caved and logically explained how rude it is to blatantly ignore me..he ended up responding the next night claiming he had been out of the country for 2 weeks..I didnt ask any questions, i just accepted his apology and asked him how his trip was. Lately he has been talking to me so differently in txt. Hes always telling me he cant wait to see me, and how beautiful i am, and the other day, he said “man they rly dont make ppl like you anymore” =)) i was soo surprised ! definitely felt good to hear that from him. And hes also transitioned from “baby girl” to “baby” when he txts me..not so sure if that has any meaning ? But the other day i txtd him and he didnt reply..i hate when he does that bc I dont know how to handle the situation.
Also, I wanted to add that Im not in love with him, nor do i feel that i love him. I just rly like him and have a STRONG feeling that we may end up together..i just feel that he is the definition of a real man.. I think i obsess over the “idea” of us being together, but i rly dont mind how things are for now, bc i dont feel like hes going anywhere honestly. Can you plz interpret his actions ? And should I act like it doesnt bother me when he ignores my txts or should I address it the next time he makes contact? I just want to make sure Im doing this right !!
Kept getting out of bed? Did he have his phone on him?(smells fishy to me) Unless he has a case of the runs or a UTI I would’ve been like wth is going on?
Then would kiss you on the shoulder when he got out? I think he may be seeing someone else. Just a hunch. Though you say you’re not in love. I interpret that kiss on the shoulder as a stroke to his guilt.
Typical aqua Man behavior of disappearing with no explanations/or b.s ones. Then we except the excuses because we want to keep the peace with them.
Of course if he doesn’t answer for weeks at a time that would concern me. A few days not so much. Especially if you’re not in a serious relationship. Keep it as friendly as you can without showing emotions. Gosh they know how to turn us into robots don’t they?
So take him for what he is. Friendly, horny and happy to be with you(sorry for being so blunt) But acting like he’s not attached at all when you’re apart.
I’d like to add that me and my aqua Boyfriend have been together almost a year. My Birthday just passed so we are going on a movie date today to celebrate. No communication problems(lately) So all crossables crossed!
I’m sure the other Ladies on this blog would like to add their 2 cents. They may even say not to let yourself get emotionally attached because once they see we are they start running and running far far off and away. Until they are gone forever or til we catch them! By chance anyway. or they may say to RUN and Never look back lol
No 2 are alike but most have similar traits about them. Heck if they didn’t we all wouldn’t be posting here now would we?
Lol, he was getting up bc we had been drinking wine all night as aforementioned..thats what happens when you consume excessive amounts of alcohol..increased urination. My bathroom is in my bedroom, so I could hear everything that was going on in there. Also, his phone was on the nightstand charging. The only reason why I knew he was kissing me on the shoulder is bc I couldn’t sleep, and decided to rest my eyes instead..he was under the impression that I was sound asleep, which is why I thought it was so cute. I actually posted to get some insight to my other inquiries, similar to the ones everyone else has in their posts..not for a medical diagnosis..obviously you didn’t read the entire post. Thanks anyway..
Aqua to Aqua/ anyone with some helpful insight..HELP !
Sorry that part just stood out to me when I read it lol(I saw RED FLAG lol)
Like AwesomeAries said. Typical aqua traits. Just stay friend-ly throughout and you’ll be fine.
On my way out. Have a good rest of the day Ladies!
Your doing great, stay cool and calm. Don’t say anything about him ignoring your texts, but make sure you do the same to him from time to time. He won’t like it when you do it to him and it might make him think!! He sounds like a good one. Well done you for doing your homework on Aquas, I wish I had done the same a lot sooner.
Stay cool don’t question him and keep doing what your doing!! It all sounds pretty great to me.
@Beyonder
It’s ok! I’m glad I clarified it for everyone lol and thank you! Yes they are a handful! And idk if it’s the libra in me, but it’s something about his complexity that keeps me interested! Since we have been dating again, I’ve also learned quite a bit about myself. I learned that I don’t rly like overly clingy men either. I get bored! He definitely keeps me on my toes!
No longer need Aqua help-
Thank you so much for replying! It seems like you have definitely learned so much about them judging from your posts! He reminds me of the 1000 piece puzzles that seem impossible to figure out, but over time the bigger picture begins to come together! I love spending time in my head decoding his actions! It’s the most exciting thing ever. And we are botch extremely intelligent, which is a first for me bc usually Im smarter than most guys I meet! I told him a couple of weeks ago that he is mentally and physically to sexy to me..I was scared that he would interpret it as being too mushy, but he responded by saying “I think the same about you” <— notice how he said "think", not "feel"! It drove me absolutely wild! I love how he worded it! He's definitely hard work but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I know he will make an amazing husband and father someday. I also believe he's my soulmate..when I'm with him it feels perfect.
I will definitely be back to give an update! Hope it's a good one! =)
Well Libra Lady welcome to the Aqua blog and following the beginning words of the song called ‘Betty Davis Eyes’, you better fasten your seatbelt,
you are in for a bumpy ride! Lol of course. You seem to be doing fine and forewarned is forearmed as they say, you have done the research so you are applying it well.
But don’t you just hate those ‘non-replies’, I used to. But it is part of their pulling power, the intrigue. What can he be up to? Why doesn’t he answer? Where is he?
When will he be back? Will he be back? You need to be so secure in yourself and definitely have your own life, almost like you don’t care and didn’t even notice
that he has not been in contact. Easier said thatn done let’s face it. Grr. That used to make me so insecure, wondering all the time and in an earlier post,
I did wonder if it is a sort of control thing, the one who backs off a little is the one who is in charge, the one who decides the pace or could it be to heighten desire who
on earth knows? But I know now with hindsight that when you get that little disappearance thing from them, disappear right back, ignore, and RESIST all temptation to
get sucked into sending those little prompt messages and turn you into the chaser before you know it. That was me. Your best defence is retreat and then he will come bounding back.
My goodness, when you think of it having to do all that research just to be with somebody and so weird that everybody on this board has this same tale to tell. There must be
something in it! I think I need to meet another aquarius just to try the tricks I now know. ha ha. But you seem to be loving it so have a great time!!
Time out
Do you dare to meet another Aqua?? How are you doing having no contact with your old Aqua? Some days I don’t think about him at all, others I’m climbing the walls. I wish it would pass as it’s been months 😦
@ No longer need Aqua
I met 2 more since lol. Both seem to be great guys, but this time I know better. They are already pulling the typical Aqua stuff so I am not even interested. I just don’t have the patience or energy for all the games that they like to play. I still think about my old Aqua sometimes, but I know things are best how they are. Did I tell you all he emailed me out the blue a few weeks ago saying how he had to see me and talk to me etc? Well, I agreed to meet with him (guess so I could have closure myself) and again he backed out. So I have decided to officially close that chapter. No more Aqua’s for me.
Don’t blame you one bit awsome!!
My new man is only 4 days away from being an Aqua but shows no sign of any of their games. Thank goodness!! I really am having a hard time letting go of Mr Aqua “in my head” I know he was bad for me but he was so cute when he wanted to be. Best I stick to what I have, it’s no good looking back HUH!!!!!
At this moment I am going away to do my breakfast, afterward having my breakfast coming over again to read additional news.
Hi Ladies,
It’s been quiet so I hope all is well with you all. Thought I’d check back in since Mr.Aqua contacted me out of the blue about a week ago. Mind you, the last words with him he told me to take care and wished me well as if he’d written me off lol. Been having a hard time with my teenage son lately and it was weird like aqua sensed it & the night my son & I had a big argument he messaged me on facebook asking if everything was alright with the kids and I. However, I didn’t log in and get the msg until 4 days later. Just today I logged on and there was another msg asking were things better. Just when I think this guy is a thing of the past he pops up.
I kid you all not, the last 5 guys I have met recently have been Aqua’s. And they have been put in the friend zone lol. I know I shouldn’t judge them as they all have different personality traits but I can’t get passed them being Aqua’s lol.
Hi Awesome
My health seems to be at it’s worse. As an athmatic and having just gotten over pneumonia the chest congestion just won’t let up. I passed out in front of Gramms the other day. Bc I couldn’t breath. The humidity on top of the heat has been hell!
But I’m feeling better now thank goodness. My friend Scott(who is aqua, and I’ve known since 07) won’t message me for Months. But I spoke with him last night briefly. They all do that and it just sucks!
They’re like psychic or something. When they’re heavy on our minds they hide. When we forget they peep their heads back out for us to see them.
Good to see you’re doing okay!
At this time last year was when I had just come to know a few other aquarius’ and was leery about talking to any of them. As soon as we’d hit it off I’d be like: Please tell me you’re not Aquarius lol.
Funny they all say: We’re not all the same. Yeah right! Tell that to all the Ladies from this blog!
My Aqua(BF) and I are basically the same. No better but no worse. I just get impatient sometimes and feel like I need to say something but don’t out of fear that he either can’t handle it or just doesn’t want to hear it.
Aug 1st makes a year for us. I don’t know Ladies. Maybe things could be better but right now, I need to focus on getting my health back in order.
Friend zone. That’s good, keep it like that lol
Hope everything turns out ok with your Son
Hi all, thank you awesome aries for coming back with your 5 aqua men. You are brave. One or two for me and basta. And then, Beyonder, i symphatise, the weather on this side of the world, Europe, is just as humid after a terrible, cold spring. You are not alone. I hope your health is improving A funny thing happened to me last Sunday. If you followed the posts, I had an aquarian man just disappear on me an there followed months of introspection which I shared with you. i held back in my determination never to contact him again, which I have not, despite the great temptataion to do so. I am a capricorn, so I have a lot of resolve. Anyway on Sunday, I had to go to work to finish off an assignment. In the middle of it, these strong images of him flashed up and out of the blue as I had not been thinking of him. It created a great sadness in me. Not a sadness for me but him. It completely threw me off, a bit, preoccupied me for the rest of the evening. The memory is growing distant but I wonder why all of a sudden and for no reason he flashed up. All is well otherwise and a word for need aqua help doing fine, me thinks.
Maybe you don’t believe in this but I do. People even if they don’t seem to belong in our lives leave an imprint. I imagine that at the moment you saw those images of him, he must have had you heavy on his mind. Maybe it was strange and maybe you think it’s weird but it happens. They may not act like we’re a big part of their lives but we are. Whether we believe so or not.
They are so anal in their sentiments that they live in their minds and dreams and would rather stay there bc in their minds it’s safe. I don’t know any other way to explain it than this. Not saying I know them 100 percent bc I’m still trying to figure Wilson out. But they’d rather live in misery away from us, than to live with us in their lives going through the emotions(god forbid) with us!
Hey Time Out
Thanks for remembering me!! I totally know what you mean about his face popping into your head. It is still like that for me too. I can see him so clear it’s like he is stood in front of me. I don’t think you will ever forget him, as for the no closure for you….that makes it even worse.
I saw mine a few weeks back, he was driving one way and I was driving the other…..I really didn’t know what to do so I ignored him….They really don’t like that!! He did it to me ALL THE TIME, but when I did it….not a good move 🙂
I at least can remember him with a smile now. He is who he is and he can’t help it! But it wears very thin over time. All is good here, I have a man who I know where I stand with. I let him do all the contacting/asking me out. I don’t often contact first. I don’t always answer texts, and I don’t always go out with him when he asks. So I guess Mr Aqua made me see the light on what to do and what not to do with men. I knew he would come in handy one day 🙂
Take care all and keep in touch, I do still read posts from time to time.
Lozzy how are you doing??? I hope you read this!
Hi ladies, in response, Beyonder not at all strange what you say, I agree 100 per cent and nothing strange at all about it. It makes perfect sense. There are people who float into our lives and do not leave a lasting impression and then others that mark us. And as for the aquas, agree too. Living out feelings in the mind is much easier option than just expressing them, but pray tell who is wilson, the current or the former? Dear aqua help, I had a funny moment visualising you and your ex driving alongside each other with the ignore sign turned on lol but glad you are moving along without him. Me too. I just wish it had not turned out like that. No need. Oh well, time soon for a summer break. Hope all is well. Lozzie has probably moved on too, best of luck to her and then Annie, hope she is fine too. Cheers!
Wilson is the SAME one I’ve always posted about. From the first post til now. We’ve been together a year just about lol
Time out
I hope Lozzy has moved on!! It was really making her ill and I do worry about that!
I take it you have unfinished isseus with you Aqua? It’s hard to put it totally behind you when closure never happened isn’t it? Mine did try to get back with me some time back, I would have loved to try with him again. But I knew all the old problems would start all over again. I wasn’t willing to risk another three years on him and still have the same outcome!
I think about him A LOT (all the time) if I’m honest. But he was never going to change who he is and it would be wrong of me to expect that. Sad thing is I don’t think there is a woman on the planet that would deal with the way they are…long term. There are going to be a lot of old Aqua men alone…..all because they think we are trying to take over their lives (when we are not). It’s really hard to get my head around it and it didn’t matter how much I tried to explain to him, he didn’t listen.
They are stunning men but none of them seem to feel the same way about us. It’s all very sad!!
Dear no longer…. Thanks for your reply. Unfinished issues yes but today is the first day when I can see the woods from the trees. Call it an enlightening day but for no particular reason, just feel I am finally letting go. Dont know why today but the feeling is good. I have spent the last months in introspection, you know that feeling. Trying to get answers I will never get. And today I had a spring in my footstep, looking forward to the future and the good things that will happen because I know they will and wanting now to put that all behind me because life is short and especially now approaching my middle years. There is one thing I will say. It is all a learning experience. i do not want to go through all that again. Little does he know. The only good thing is that I never attempted to contact him after that last disappearance act, areal test of my endurance. So I guess, in my own way I salvaged something. I definitely did not beg so it means I have self esteem lol Now I have to find ‘me’ again and go forward to the future, with that behind me. As far as this guy goes, I really think, intuitively that he has felt the pain just as much as me because I know he was not a bad guy, just lacking in the courage department. I do wonder though why is it that we form strong bonds to certain men and then others we let go easily enough? What does that mean?
I think it has a lot to do with…we all like a bad boy 🙂 we think we can tame them. It’s a shame we are all moving on as we will have no contact with eachother! I feel we have all helped each other and now it will all be lost. Does that sound silly? It would be great if we had a way of keeping in touch, talking about what is going on in our lives.
I’m not sure Aman would like us to keep posting on here when we are not needing Aqua advice. Maybe if I start my own blog, what do you think??
I’m so glad you feel happy…a fresh start from today. Don’t be shocked if he does pop up in your life again sometime. They are known for it.
No it does not seem silly after the winter of discontent lol. I for one will be checking back in from time to time. This Aman blog has been a great source to vent and then most of all to share, when our friends get fed up listening! He has provided a great service. And yes, why not your own blog but how would we find it? I found Aman s blog just by chance. They are difficult to advertise but a great idea. Look at his success. Cheers.
Hi Ladies, and Gents?
Hope you’re all doing ok during this wintry season. Happy Holidays.
Whether you’re still involved with an Aquarius in any way(or not), and anyone who is frustrated with their lack of communication. Can relate to this song I’m sure
So I came across this Ladies youtube video about
‘Mars in Aquarius’
It’s interesting!
Wow am so excited that Dr, ojogun the powerful
spell caster brought my ex lover back to me within
2days after leaving me for the past 6months I was
frustrated until I met Dr, ojogun who help me to cast
a spell that brought her back after telling me that
there will be some items needed which I decide to try and to my great surprise it work for me and
now am so happy and my ex lover has just bought
me a brown new car which he has never done
before thank you very much Dr, ojogun for what
you have done for and if you need help like me
contact him on email drojogunspellhome@gmail.com and all your problem will be solved once and for all
My testimony.
My name is stephen Nelson, i’ve from zibabwe but i’ve being in USA for years. I never believe in any spell caster untill my lover treated me so bad, i never knew the reason why he was doing all that untill a friend of mine take me to a spell home which is Dr, ojogun the spell caster, and the dr told me that it was another female that cast a spell on my lover, and he sald he can revices the spell back to the sender.I never believe in him untill he finally did it and my lover came back to me with an apology that he never knew what he was doing. If you want him to help you bring your lover back, your husband and your ex, you can contact him with this email adress drojogunspellhome@gmail.com
It is the time of the year when maybe you start to think back a little on all that has happened over 2013. A lot. I took the time to look over my posts earlier this year, and realise the anguish that befell me, yes it was not good at all. In fact I mostly said half of what I really felt because sometimes the words are hard to find and the feelings are hard to express.
But, I was grateful for this board, because even if I did not get the answer to the ‘aquarian conundrum’, it gave me an outlet. I come back here just to say that all is well and I have turned the page, as they say, and hope all is well for the tons of people who posted on the Aman blog. I suppose it is my way of closing a chapter and turning a new page at this end of year.
Blessings and happy holidays to all.
Funny, just got a notification that Mr. Aqua sent an email and when I logged in to check it I saw this notification too lol. All is good my way, getting ready for Xmas. And yes, as you can tell my aqua is still around, but more so on my terms and just as friends…now when he disappears I don’t drive myself nuts, I know he’ll be back. I did get mad at him a few months back and blocked him from every social network we were mutual friends on and via mobile phone, but I forgot he had my email address and he got a hold of me there. However, he no longer has a hold on me 🙂
I hope everyone has a blessed and wonderful holiday and a happy New year!
Oh my gosh..this is me and my situation with an Aquarius..I am also one.
8 months with him. My biggest issues with him right now is we hardly ever see each other. This past time it had been a month. My other issue is I AM A SECRET after all of these months. People call when I am there and its usually his parents..he just says oh I am just watching TV. No one knows…except 2 friends..haven’t met them. Is this common??? This is so annoying and it really feels like a friends with benefits thing..not a relationship.
We text a lot.. then he will go away for up to a week. But when he is hot he is hot.
So yesterday… I just told him…its obvious that you don’t want to be more with me. We don’t go out..I am bored with just sitting around your house. I said I feel you are with others…we never see each other but for maybe 2 hours… and I wish you would be honest. His response…sorry I have been sick read your messages loud and clear I will leave you alone. I said…its been going on for months.
We have been out 3 times. We had an amazing date.. drinks dinner and I spent the night. That was 3 months ago. I thanked him and told him it was so much fun I would love to do it again. Hasn’t happened. We went to lunch once after that. Its like if I say anything about doing this or that..it NEVER happens.
He has asked me to go to dinner with him a few times since..but he is either too tired or working late. See my confusion…and cancelling last minute..Omg its happening more and more.
Now a few weeks ago he wasn’t feeling well and ignored all calls and texts for a week. He started contacting me again…I ignored him for 5 hours and he blew my phone up. It is a confusing mess…but he is so addicting. I don’t know if we could ever quit. We never fight or argue…we are really good friends…but this is slow and confusing.
I bet he will contact me again after some time.. maybe a week or so. I know him well…and honestly I am just hoping he steps up a tad. I think he truly cares…if I am cold he covers me up…I had some thing in my eye and he was really concerned. Its the small things that I think he cares. But he won’t let me take care of him when he is sick or even let me around him.
Ugh…advise please.
They all do the same things! Treat you bad when you are around, then panic when you have had enough of them. If you want him still in your life you could try what I did.
I stopped ALL communication with him….for MONTHS….I cut him off, no texts, no phone calls…I ignored his, even when he came to my door, I didn’t answer it. I was strong, not sure where it came from but I had just plain had enough of him. Then when I thought enough time had passed, I sent a reply to a text he sent me, as soon as he got that he rang me. We talked for ages, I didn’t have a go at him, I just talked as normal, he has been fantastic ever since. He still has his moody spels but on the whole a much nicer man. Might be worth a try. Give it a few months though. Let him see that YOU WILL NOT PUT UP with his rubbish any longer. I tried everything with mine over the years and that has been the only thing that worked.
My 25.12 was spent reading these answers here.
I am too stuck with this aqua man. I dont know why i even checked which sign he is, but i did and he acts like a total aqua. Maybe my gut just directed me to read about them..
Anyway, i am a taurus with leo sun and a very strong woman.
what i learnef from this aqua experience is that i am super patient, but i have lost some of my strength- i am a bit cold and unemotional, dont act on my emotions, but now i am a total opposite and dont like it.
He has been aloof, dissappearing and when together, he is super and holds me so close- and then poof byebye. And i dont contact him a week- i am too very busy person and friday and saturday are only free days. This is ok to me, i love my career and space but i dont tolerate when someone disrespects me or is rude to me.
He hasnt replied to my text for week and didnt even say merry christmas. I didnt say too ofc. If 2014 starts and he doesnt contact, then i start my year without this bs. I will never date an aquarius.. But oh well, no other sign accept my space…
First time i ever feel something so strong for anyone and it backfires. Maybe my own karma is the reason and lifelesson.
Sometimes funny to think that aquas are so weird, like… How could you be like this? Funny funny!
But thanks for all who posted here, it was so nice to read how i am not the only one who got aqua-screwed.
Hi Everyone and Need Aqua Help!!! How are you?
Can’t sleep so I thought I’d have a read on here and was surprised to see you are back together? If so I’m glad for you!
I’ve had a terrible time since I last posted. I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease Vasculitis which attacks the blood vessels and kidneys I spent a month in hospital and have been on Chemo since August. The good thing to come out of this was Aqua and myself got back together although still living miles apart lol.
He has kept me going with his nightly phone calls and he ha been so loving and caring.
He was coming home on the 17th dec to spend Christmas together at my house we both couldn’t wait to see each other and were counting down the days.
Then the next bomb shell, he became ill and on the 3rd dec was admitted in to intensive care with pneumonia and septicaemia, he was put in an induced coma, and he had multiple organ failure. After spending 2 weeks in ICU he pulled through.
I managed to speak to him twice by phone, he told me his kidneys had packed in and now he has to have dialysis 3 times a week, he was in a mood the second time I rang him and was on about discharging himself, I didn’t argue back with him!
Anyway he said he would ring me when he sorted things out and you’ve guessed it not a word since 23rd dec from him.
Not a happy Christmas or new year……nothing….. I don’t know what to do, this is something new, I decided to back off and not contact him thinking he had too much on his mind with his illness, I was the opposite with my illness I wanted him to talk to because he was so positive.
The truth is I’ve never seen him in a crisis before, and I keep coming up with all sorts of excuses for his silence, but still come to the conclusion its cruel because he knows how worried I was about him. As time goes on it feels more over…again 😦
Any thoughts on his behaviour, should I just leave him be?
Arrrgghhhh why do they do this to someone they proclaim to love, things were really good before he became ill, I just don’t understand how they can just cut you off like you don’t exist.
What should I do, advise anyone?
xxx
Hi Lozzy, wow you have been through the mill of late. I do hope things work out well health wise for you.
Re your Mr Aqua….that’s the way they are when ill, even if it’s just a cold they want to be left alone. They deal with things quite the opposite to the way most of us do. He has also had a massive shock and must be scared of his situation. Let him deal with it, the only way he knows how….on his own…..He knows you are there for him/thinking about him. That’s all he needs at the moment. Wait it out and when he has worked things out for himself…he will be back.
It’s always a waiting game with these men at the best of times but this for him is massive. He knows you care, that’s all he needs at the moment, don’t be upset, as Annie says you look after you. Then when he comes back you will be the stunning person he knows and loves.
Happy New Year to you….I know it will be when he has got his head around everything.
Hi Lozzy,
So sorry to hear how unwell you have been and I do wish you good health in this new year. You have gone through so much and don’t need any extra worries. However life can be very harsh and you seem to have had a run of it.
My goodness your Aqua seems fortunate to be alive…….Like any man I think they cant cope with illness there are so many adjustments to be made. He has to accept all of this himself before he can give of himself again. Yes I would say he is in a pretty bad place at the moment,,,,,,,, and certainly needs his space! He cant think clearly, it will take time.
You need to look after you, yes he knows you are also unwell and he does not want to be a burden to you. He thinks you don’t need it.
You said you loved this man, give him time…… Reading this you both need to look after you first, If it is meant to be it will be.
Sent with love.
Annie.
Hi Need Aqua Help and Annie
Thanks to both of you for your replies and happy new year to both of you.
I think you both may be right in what you say as I was thinking the same, it must be a lot for him to come to terms with, but it hurts me that he has pushed me away when I could have helped him.
I feel like I have abandoned him by not contacting him, and for that reason I don’t think I can put it off for much longer, I’m just scared he might reject me, damned if I do, damned if I don’t 😦
My son has been staying for Christmas so that has kept me more occupied but he leaves tomorrow and I’m back on my own again, dreading it, I feel so lonely and I miss my Aqua I just want him back in my life.
Changing the subject I started my own blog after my diagnosis, I have found it to be therapeutic 🙂
Here is the link http://lozzy4859.blogspot.co.uk/
Have a read
Lozzy xx
Happy New Year ladies,
Lozzy I’m sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Sending prayers and well wishes your way.
You ladies are the aqua experts and have helped me out tremendously. However, to add my few cents I do notice they tend to shy away when they are ill or going through hard times. You’d think they’d reach out in times like these but they do just the opposite. Seems like they’d want us to be there for them. And for you Lozzy, I know if he were there it would help you out too. However, they are how they are and we can’t change them. I’d just say focus on yourself and getting well. He’ll come around when things have settled down.
Wishing all of you happiness, good health, and prosperity in the new year!
Don’t ring him Lozzy, he will get back to you when he feels ready. If he is anything like mine, he will take even longer to contact you if you ring first when he’s not ready. It’s just how they are. It’s not rejection, it’s him being his independent self.
Hi ladies
Still no contact from him or me to him, im starting to feel angry now and feel like giving him a piece of my mind!!. I know he’s ill but so am I and not once have I cut myself off from him. He always has to kill everything we have, Im sick of It and im sick of him!!
Ill or no ill there’s no excuse for not picking a phone up to say I’m alive!!!!
God give me strength to forget him once and for all!!
Rant over
Lozzy x
Don’t give up on him he’s dealing with things the only way he knows how, mine does the same thing.
Tell yourself he is never coming back…get on with your life and that’s when they come back. They are very selfish little boys at the best of times but when ill they really are something else.
Part of him may be thinking you have enough to deal with and doesn’t want to add to your problems. Give him time and he will be back. It’s hard for you not knowing/hearing from him….trust me I KNOW!! But he will never change the way he is. I had to accept that and take the rough with the smooth with him.
He’s a man…he’s not like us, they always seem to shut off and deal with things alone, and don’t forget they SULK for England. He won’t be a happy bunny either.
But what if they blatantly come out and say: It’s time to part ways and forget about each other? Does this mean to really move on? When you know things were going well. Heck things seemed to be getting better?
Good Morning Lozzie.
How are you? You have been on my mind.
I understand your anger totally it is a very natural reaction but I would say not one that would work for you.(bare with me I am not involved)
So I was thinking I would bake him a cake his favourite cake. Bake it with LOVE all your loving thoughts for him, because yes thats where your anger comes from. I would buy a card and write something very nice in it and I would deliver it to him.
I would love to think you and him will ENJOY the cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If all else fails – People come and people go thats life. Refuse to hold on to those who have let you go! Let him go with Love trust me he will be easy to replace, you know what you need.
Lozzie you know him best, this is just an idea. I have a friend you reminds me a kind word turns away wrath. I know you also want that, I just think ring him up when he is having a bad day and you are too….. well, naw perhaps not the best outcome.
I always like to be able to say I did my best. Come off the phone after saying things you never meant too and you will feel worse than you do now.
I do feel you should contact him………… just do it in a loving way no matter how he reacts
.
Sent with much Love
Annie
Dear Lozzie, just read your post and I do hope everything is looking up, most of all your health, and everything else will follow, if it is meant to be. i think that is what is called ‘destiny’. Excellent advice from both Need Aqua Help and Annie. We are like old friends here. I do like the post from Annie saying that it is always better to reply with love rather than frustration, although we are tempted to fire off just out of sheer frustration. But it always backfires. I will add my grrrr here. Very understandable.. Keep cool, keep calm, collected, and much love for 2014. I might try the cake idea Annie for the next Love… Xx
@Lozzy I hope you’re doing well. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through Hun I’m sending Love, light and prayers your way.
.I don’t always respond but I do read. You all have so much going on that I don’t even feel like I have a right to complain about my aqua any more. When You’re going through issues like this.
I wrote this super Long post on word pad but to sum it up in little words, He and I are on a 6 month Break and I will edit it to make it shorter cause it’s really quite long and You know I tend to babble with my Gemini heart controlling my Mind! Making my thoughts all jumbled.
😦
So tired of crying
Oh I’m sorry to hear that! What happened, I thought things were going great with you two?
Well I’ll paste here in its entirety. It’s quite long. I’m just so lost here it goes:
So here I am again. Feeling lost and broken hearted. Just some Months ago I know I said it, I was waiting for it to happen. My gut never lies to me. And about 3 weeks ago my gut told me something was off. And that’s around the same time that he began to feel iffy also. He told me so. We actually spoke for about 25mts Tues Night. I even told him: I bet you’re not used to hearing me talk this much huh? Long story short, he and I are on a 6 Month break. This was my choice. He explained: It’s time. I was like time for what? Time for splitsville or a break? He said to split. I was like WHAT? Why? What happened? And no matter how many questions I asked or how much I tried I could not get a solid answer as to why. I think at one point I asked if he even loved me. He said he did. I was like really? I never even knew it bc he never said it. Even tho I felt it, some times you need confirmation in the form of communication.
Even a couple days b4 this conversation occured I was crying myself to sleep. Because I was sure he’d been with someone else. He told me he hasn’t been and I asked him about 4 or 5 times. When I first called and he answered I go: So what’s going on? That’s when I mentioned that I knew he had an account on an online dating site tho he swears he doesn’t even use it. I told him a lot of his flaws and one is he pussy dances around me. He always seems to say exactly what I wanna hear. Like he doesn’t wanna hurt my feelings so he just lies and seems convinced of his own lies. I also mentioned how he’s so introverted and passive. That a lot Woman can’t even deal with out hearing from a guy for a day, forget about a few days. The way that I have been dealing with it. Yes maybe this made him feel guilty. So what. Why can’t he just admit his intentions? I’m so confused because it hurt me to the core to think that he could be with someone else. But to completely not want anything to do with me when I’ve been nothing but his Lady? And I’ve mimicked him for so long. When we’ve spent time together I never spoke much. I would ask how he was, how was school, his mom etc. Everything was always the same: OK, OKAY etc OK yeah
He started class again today Wednesday the 22nd and maybe just maybe he felt that I’m a distraction he didn’t need me taking away from his studies.
Maybe I’m babbling, or maybe I’m an idiot. I asked if I was boring to him now he said no. He said No to everything. UGH WTFH?
And I just spent the past few days crying myself, and unable to sleep. Making myself sick to my stomach. This isn’t good and maybe it’s not healthy. Like I was in denial and in mourning.
I realize that this break will teach me to love myself more because honestly, I loved him more than I loved myself and I know that’s not good.
He’s been my distraction from myself.
But you know what I think he’s going through the same thing except he gets all in his head and keeps it all in and uses whatever means necessary to forget about the pain. And maybe he feels I’m too good for him?(not as in I’m the best catch but as in she’s so sweet/caring/loving etc) Even when I asked and at one point he said: I’ve changed(as in him). I go what? What do you think you’re better than me? Because ur in College and I’m not? He goes: No I would never think that about you. Like I’m trying to get solid answers cause I needed closure.
I told him: 3 or 6 or 12 Months break? He chose 6. Because when I asked before that I was like: So what like we’re supposed to just delete each others numbers and never get into contact again? He said YES. I’m like REALLY? I never said anything to diss or insult this Man before this conversation yet he’s making me feel like he needs to forget about me. I just don’t undersand. And I’m so scared because the way that I’m feeling, losing sleep, having upset stomach bc I truly love him with everything I have. Unfortunately I cannot move the moon and the earth for him. I would if I could trust me.
And maybe at the end of the 6 Months he might have found someone else b4 then.
That’s the agreement we have is to date others. And I know I have no right but I asked him to use precaution when getting intimate with other Ladies. Because he and I ceased using precaution about 5 Months ago. He goes: of course. So that right there the fact that he said of course means he does plan on having intimacy with other Ladies if he hasn’t already.
I’ve been suffering Migraines since May of 2012 and Lucky to say I don’t always puke from them. But they are no fun. I had one on Monday and couldn’t eat at all. If any of you have ever had one you’d know most times it causes nausea. This situation with aqua didn’t help!
How do you stop loving someone all of a sudden? Was it something I said? Was it something I did? Maybe he just got bored and maybe he does want to see what else is out there. I told him from the very beginning. I should not be messing with you bc 1, I’m highly sexual(his favorite part) and 2. I’m very sentimental. I know he could live forever without the sentimental part. And I also told him at his age; 22 at the time that he should be going out and meeting new Girls/Ladies and taking them out and exploring his sexuality with them. But no, he spent his time with me. And when he didnt’ spend time with me in the beginnig I’d worry I would never see him again. You can related! I even opened the door for US to have an open relationship and he said NO!
Why oh why up until recently when I asked: Are you ok with me saying the L word to you? He said yes. Yet I still didnt’ say it. We’d message back and forth and I started calling him My Love’. I even shared a letter with him expressing what I loved about him. All positivity in there. Did that scare him?
Or was he always just using me? Did we use each other? I don’t care how we spent our time. He knows and I know that we are not going to find any one else out there who sparks out fires the way we did with each other. I know I’m not being delusional!
Dear Friends, you don’t have to respond to this. I know it’s like super Long and running all over the place. But so is my mind. I got some sleep last night. It’s freezing cold over here in NYC. I’m wearing 2 sweaters, tights, sweats and socks even. brrrrrr
I hope you’re all keeping warm.
I ask him why don’t you express yourself to me? He answered: Cause that’s how I am.
sighs.
There’s 50/50 chance that in 6 Months he and I could catch up some how. whether through phone or face to face. Either way
I’m so lost and I been hurting so bad I almost wanted to curl up and die.
Beyonder
Agree with him that this is for the best! Don’t be mushy with him at all (telling him how much you feel for him etc). Bet your thinking…why would I do that? But trust me it works. You have to do something that they would NEVER expect you to do. Just have a talk with him, say you have been giving it some thought and yes it’s fine by me!!
If you continue to be upset and asking questions, he will back right off and you may never see him again. Be strong, I know it’s hard but you have to agree with what he wants. Then DO NOT CONTACT HIM again. Let him have his time and you have time to work on you.
The last time mine said to me…..I think it’s best we call it a day….My reply was…Can’t argue with that if your sure that’s what you want!! He was back with me within two days.
They want you to be upset, it does there ego a massive boost. But when you have the COOL aproach with them, it peeks there interest all over again.
It’s hard to back off, trust me I know but if it brings him back to you it’s so well worth it.
Ty NeedAquaHelp
You’d think I’d know all this by now? I got blinded by I don’t know what!
I hate not being able to express myself. I do it better through writing than face to face. He and I are similar in that way except I take the initiative to let him know eventually. Especially when I think/or thought things were going so well!
Ugh
By the way. I brought up the fact that I knew about his first account on that dating site around October of 2012. Told him I couldn’t believe he did this so that I proceeded to open my own account and started talking to other guys but that I didn’t meet up or anything.
Well maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring things up. But he knows I will not wait for him forever!
@NeedAquahelp
ok here’s the thing that convinces me he loves me. It was December 3rd. (3 weeks ago) that he came to see me in the FREEZING near below 0 temperature. Now he had to walk 20 minutes to get to me. You can’t tell me a guy would just walk in freezing temps that long for just any Lady. Then when he got here that night. I even mentioned to him: Now I can never question your love for me ever again. No man wold come walk to see his GF/LADY if he didn’t love her. Especially not in freezing temp’s
Once again his reaction is: A low almost shy giggle and he sort of looks away. Doesn’t say anything. I lean my head on his upper arm/shoulder. I thought this was a tender moment. Of course I know he’s all in his head again.
I’m guessing that this right there has his guard up.
I know it.
Time is a bi7ch but is it on our side? Sheesh
We’ll find out!
I know what your saying! You might know that he loves you but he may not know it (they are slow like that). If you respect his wishes and leave him totally alone, then he will work out for himself that he loves you…he has to miss you first. He’s only young and he may well have scared himself with his feelings. As you know when they get feelings that make them panic they say mean things and RUN. Let him run, let him decide for himself what he wants. You can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do, it has to be his idea! Leave it for now and one way or the other you will have your answer. Keep busy, go out meet others and see what happens. If he loves you…he will be back but you can’t make him come back.
Oh I know. He got scared and went running with his tail between his legs.
His Birthday was yesterday and I did send him a simple ‘Happy Birthday’ Message and was 99.9 percent sure he wouldn’t respond.
Another thing that makes this so very hard on me is: He never talked down to me not once, He was never disrespectful.
He’s always been patient and respectful towards me.
Had he been a complete ahole, that right there would make it much easier for me to realize that: Yea he’s a jerk off and he doesn’t deserve me.
It’s this feeling like I’m in mourning that I cant’ stand. It suxx! The uncertainty of ever seeing him again.
sighs
lol
History repeating itself.
I swear I don’t feel like a normal Lady.
The normal ones just dump guys who act like this.
Not me noooooooooooooooo I like this game somehow
The guessing game? Needs a slap for real!
Don’t guess you will never come up with the right answer anyway! They like to keep us guessing, playing mind games…don’t fall for it. I know how it feels I have had years of it, but I now know what to do and how to be with him. I wish you hadn’t sent him a birthday wish! That wasn’t the best thing to do at all. DON’T CONTACT HIM. He asked you to back off…SO BACK OFF. You are NOT helping yourself by finding a reason to contact him. He doesn’t want you to, so respect his wishes. Make him think about you for a change, you have to do something that he won’t expect you to do. He knew you would contact on his birthday and you played right into his hands. Sorry to say this but if you can’t/won’t do as he asked then you are only thinking about what you want and not about what he wants. He wanted a total split remember and if you don’t play your cards right HE WILL BE GONE and it will be you who scared him off for good. Play his game right back at him…he won’t expect that from you and it will give him something to think about.
Hello Ladies hope you are all well,
@Beyonder33 you have my sympathies in dealing correctly with your Aqua, I can totally relate to what you are going through at the moment, and l really feel for you its a horrible place to be in. In theory I’m sure we all know what we should do in this situation ( its a sunday and l won’t fill the air with expletives) lol…..But….Sometimes it just needs to be said, l feel like telling mine exactly what l think of him, l can’t get over how someone can be so selfish ill or no ill, life does not stop, as l know being ill myself.
No its completely unacceptable and embarrassing l might add, when friends are asking me how he is and l have to reply with l don’t know l feel like a fool. To be honest l think being taken for a mug is bothering me more than missing him at the moment, its leo pride and I feel so bloody angry towards him that he’s cut me off.
l did speak to him a couple of weeks ago to ask how he was, he is still on dialysis 3 times a week, he was very angry not with me, some guy he knew from his home town ( he lives away ) had heard about his illness and wanted go to see him, he told him bluntly NO!! He was angry because he didn’t want anyone to know up north unless he told them, he’s also angry because he’s got eczema on top of kidney failure and he said he looks thin although he has put a stone in weight back on. Btw he was out sounded like a pub, so he’s not to angry or ill to see his friends!! So it’s me as usual who has got the cold shoulder and silent treatment, aren’t l the lucky one!! When asked are we ok, he replied yes stop putting things that are not there, then l suggested l would call him later when he got home, again a bit fat blunt NO, l asked him why, he said because he was fed up. He said he would ring me when he Is well, so that’s it the almighty has spoken expects me to be greatful for the crumbs off his table, well l think l may shock us both on that score!! Lol
Ps l have my last chemo tomorrow YEH!!!!! 😀 xxxx
@lozzy
Wow I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But am glad you’re able to update us. Thank Goodness you can still be here to share your feelings and thoughts with us(not meaning to sound selfish)
It’s like we’re in a support group, though not in each others presence physically. We can all relate!
And as a highly spiritual person, about a Month or so ago my gut TOLD ME something was up. Of course my first thought was: he’s seeing someone else.
Whether he is or not I know he loves/misses me. That’s not the question.
It’s not knowing what will happen between now and our next conversation. It’s thinking: Will he meet someone else and have that same connection we had, will he fall in love, get engaged or sighs get her preggo? Yeah I’ve thought all these crazy thoughts. And let me tell you Ladies, a little over a Month ago I shared a Nightmare I had with him. It was how I couldn’t get into touch with him for 2 Months and that when I finally did he goes: Oh hey sorry I couldn’t contact you earlier but I met someone else and we’re engaged now.
I said: The dream felt so real, you better never do that to me!
He goes: with that shy giggle he does, I would never do anything like that to you.
This Guy is scared. Like I said earlier. I started to feel like we were on better terms. So much so that I started to SLIGHTLY express my sentiments and well that little bit really pushed him away. Like they don’t know what to do with it or say about it or how to return it verbally. If they’re not just showing it physically. They’d rather just run away.
I’ve beat myself up trying to figure it out. I’m over it. Pause, stop, rewind, replay, FAST FORWARD is ALL I want!
UGH
Whether they’re scared or still not ready or ever will be. They should learn to grown a pair. This b.s they do of trying to spare our feelings by pu55y dancing around us and stringing us along is REDICULOUS!
I’m too grown for this nonsense, we all are!
Hello
Well I’ve had my last chemo today!! All is on track as l have responded well to treatment this far, and my blood results are stable at the moment 🙂
They are starting me on a new tablet next week to maintain the good work the chemo has done, and after 3 months if l have no symptoms and blood keeps stable l will be classed as in remission 😀
Lozzy xxxxx
@Lozzy
Glad you could update
was thinking about you today and about how scary an ordeal that must be for you.
Now as Needaquahelp said, time to relax and take care of yourself.
Hugs xo
Lozzy,
This is great news! I know you posted this early but while I’m at work I’m not supposed to be on my phone, but I sneak anyways lol and catch a few of you all’s messages.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care and please keep us updated.
Funny I was speaking to an old friend of mine. A guy about the situation and he said:
Is this the same guy that keeps breaking your heart? Maybe you need to play the ol push-pull game… pushing will never work on a man… but if you pull away he might just follow. If he doesn’t, he’s not yours anyway.
If he only knew………
Hi Beyonder.
So sorry to hear things have not worked out for you…….. I will repeat so sorry things did not work out.
Anytime I ever read anything you have written I always thought she sounds like a very strong lady! So strong that I never felt you needed any advice.
I can only read and give my opinion, as you know I neither know you or him so that tells you a lot too.
I read it quickly picking bits out here and there.
Firstly I think you said he is 22,…….. secondly he asked or a 6 months break how cold and calculating is that?,,,,,,,,Believe me there is no such thing……. tell him where to stick it.
Further down you said you asked him to use precautions……. get real girl.
I think he has already found someone.
I don’t know how long you have been together but he couldn’t even be honest with you …….. such a basic!
Yes you are hurting I do feel for you… The only thing you should write is a loving letter to yourself…… list in it the things you require from a man and see how he compares.
I have already said here refuse to hold on to those who have let you go!
Do you really wish to have someone back who out of the blue can treat you like this.
Beyonder ……no matter how badly you may be broken you can always build yourself back up…. It takes time, Don’t let your struggle become your identity. Unfortunately no part of what I read made me think he is worth wanting on.
Sent with much love
Annie.
TY Annie
No
When we met he had just turned 22. He’s going to be 24 this Saturday. I’m the one who opted for a break. He basically wanted it to end completely, so he said. He’s so full of something. I know maybe I’m in denial. But I’ll be ok. It’s like a drug when you’re high on love and it gets taken right from under you. Like you’re going through withdrawals/mourning or something.
And my gut had already been telling me he’s been seeing someone else…yet when I confronted him about it he kept denying denying denying……..sighs
No, thank you Beyonder for listening because we are here to help and I know you are hurting.
Please surround yourself with friends who inspire you, who never take advantage, who are honest and caring. Give yourself the opportunity to be authentic because what I got most out of what you had written was you were not being true to yourself……ALWAYS listen to your inner voice and don’t take crap………you know you deserve better.
Also I will say an Aquarius man couldn’t take the thought of you sleeping with someone else. Infact that could be said of most men. Its time to move on girl, you just have to see him for what he is.. Sometimes those who hurt us teach us the most…… now work out what was that lesson …… Don’t bullshit yourself!
Great Big Hug,
Annie..
As Gemini I can say We are adaptable for only so long cause
Gemini: likes to be in the Know
Aquarius: likes to keep you guessing.
Ying and Yang when they meet half way.
When Gemini starts to feel closer to aqua
aqua senses this and pulls back.
She’s all: Hearts in her eyes
And hes all: Precaution, pulling back like woaaah back off
I wish I could just go and leave whenever but I can’t. If you didn’t know I live with my 94yo Grandmother taking care of her now. I also live with my 9yo Daughter who has PDD, it’s a high functioning form of Autism.
A friend of mind who knows this told me: He only used you because you’re a nurturer and caregiver. And told me I’d be ok in the end.
So I will take this time to try and nurture myself on my spiritual development.
Forgot to say…Don’t sit around waiting for him, meet others, have fun, never wait for any man. If he man’s up and wants you back for good you will be the first to know. Mean time do your own thing, it will keep your mind busy if nothing else and if you meet a real man it will be his loss.
Yes that’s part of the (agreement) that we go out with others. But as I said in my last post I’m going to nurture the gifts that are trying to push themselves out of me. And in the end these gifts do benefit others not just myself. Thank You Ladies.
Beyonder please don’t dwell on the fact that he used you if that is so it’s his problem. Everything happens for a reason, we never meet anyone by accident. Remember the good times but see it for what it was. A relationship requires Honesty, loyalty, trust, respect and love and two people who want the very best for each other. There can be no excuse for causing hurt or prolonging it.
As I said before you always came across as a very strong person, you will survive and next time you will be wiser and always YOU!
and if you think he may not entirely approve there is plenty of fish.
I loved how you described yourself like an addict I understand those feelings…… just understand not everyone is deserving of your heart.
Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with
weakness and everything to do with strength.
We walk away not because we want others
to realize our worth and value.
but because we finally realize our own:).
Have a Blessed Day.
Annie.
Lozzy
I hope all goes well with you at the hospital today!! That is all that matters at the moment YOU. Take care and please let us know how you are.
Sorry to butt in here ladies. I thought maybe you could give me advice. An Aquarius man again! I have been with him over a year. It has been a roller coaster all the way. I have taken the time to read all the posts and they seem to point to the same thing that in order to adapt to this man, you have to somehow adapt to them and stuff your own feelings down and wait for them to come around, in every sense, which is hard, and take them as they come and follow their agenda which is fine if you are doormattish, to coin a new word, and then wait and wait as they steer the relationship in their own direction. Is this normal? A first for me, a Leo. It. Is truly confusing and I am not sure how to go forward. Biggest problem for me is that while I am attaching to him, he seems quite indifferent, really aloof. I hate that. . There is part of me that feels compassion towards him and another part that feels REALLY angry that he can be so complacent while I am in turmoil. Any advice would be great but deep down, I know that I will not spend the rest of my life waiting for him to declare his real intentions. Thanks for reading and sorry for rambling but it is a truly dilemma for me. Usually I know what to do but this time, it is beyond me. No complications , we are both single and unattached.
Shirley
Hi there. You’ve surely come to the right place 🙂
We can ALL relate and have gone through or are going through a roller coaster ride just like you are.
If there’s one BIG lesson to learn from aqua it’s:
If you want to keep them and keep them coming back, you need to keep them guessing as much as they keep you guessing.
Mimic them. Don’t let them know your sentiments.
Because just when you think it’s ok to talk about your feelings.
poof goes the rug from under your feet.
Then he’s gone without a trace
And you’re left wondering: What? Why? When? How?
But if it’s like my situation(he wanted to call it quits, i think he was just scared so I opted for a break)
Then let them fly like a bird to roam and do what they need until they’ve calmed down. Settled in their thoughts and realize they can love and accept it in return.
Like these other Ladies will tell you. If they disappear, don’t keep trying to communicate if in the first couple of attempts they don’t respond. They are scared puppies running with their tails between their legs.
And it’s nothing that you’ve done TRUST ME. I’m tired of beating myself up over this emotionally trying to figure out what I’ve done, when I KNOW I’ve done nothing wrong but be myself.
It’s them. They get all in their heads. Thinking, thinking and thinking. They think so much that they go into hiding until they’ve figured things out. And in the end they will get back to you.
You just don’t know when.
Just don’t let him know that you’re waiting for him and he’ll wonder WHY?
Let him
2 can play at this game
If you’re up for it!
Ladies,
Update on mine or not mine, as I discovered shortly before Christmas he is still married!! I’ve been ignoring him since then. Blocked his number, blocked him from my social networking sites…out of the blue this morning who sends me an email???? If only I could block him via email grrrrrrrrr!
I’ve made up my mind that I want nothing more to do with this two timing loser! Marriage is sacred to me and I would NEVER EVER knowingly be involved with a married man. Part of me wants to really tell him about himself but I’ve come to the conclusion he just ain’t worth it!
I wish all you ladies the best with your aqua’s. Remember this, if the bad outweighs the good let it go. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Wow AwesomeAries
I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what I’d do.
Dang are these guys (input bad word here)’s or what?
There’s a reason they are so secretive and unwilling to share their thoughts, feelings and happenings in life with us.
There has to be.
I’m sorry you just found this out?
Blows my mind away. It’s like they do want their cake and eat it too.
Maybe I should just run and never look back but I know there’s more there that he needs to figure out for himself.
A friend recently told me to write a list to tell the Bad from the Good with him.
I know it’s not worth losing sleep over.
Why oh Why oh Why did these guys come into our lives? To prepare us for the worse to come? Hope not!
Good on you to get him out of your life. I wish I could say the same….sighs
Beyonder,
I’m so glad I made this discovery. If I hadn’t I’d probably still be making excuses for him and riding his rollercoaster. MARRIED?! No can do, the nail that sealed the coffin.
When the time is right all of you ladies will figure out if he is worth staying or leave.
Hi Shirley
You don’t have to be a doormat….go out have fun, don’t give him the chance to ignore you, don’t contact him in the first place! Beyonder is right…do as they do…If they ignore..you ignore, if they are happy you be happy. Don’t let him know his ways bother you. They are big kids and they really do think and think about everything that happened between you two..and about every word that was said. It takes a while for them to process everything, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. You will know when he looks into your eyes that he cares. Be cool about it, act like you didn’t even know he was gone. They are very weird, they don’t want people to “get them” and when you get upset about the way he is acting he gets a kick out of it. It’s a boost to his ego. Don’t play into his rubbish, act like you don’t care. They come back then.
Let me just say, what’s funny is while the Main Aqua(the one that holds my heart) is trying to make an exit from my life. 2 aqua Male FRIENDS are making a re-appearance.
My friend Steve whom contacted me out of the blue on this site we share this past weekend, to ask if I lived in a certain area. Hadn’t spoken to him in almost a year.We’ve been chatting at least every other day.
And my friend Scott whom I’ve known since 07. Haven’t heard from him in a few Months.
Besides him having some health issues himself His Grandma is dying and has a few Months to live. I sent her well wishes and told him he could chat me up whenever he needed to.
Why do they do this? Not them, my friends but HIM!
By the way. I have one other Aqua Male FRIEND, David who seems very sincere when I ask for his advice. And he straight up told me what he thinks My aqua’s situation is
This is what he said:
If I didn’t know better I would guess he want’s to explore possible options… which to me doesn’t make sense since I know you are intensely passionate as a lover. I can’t imagine any guy wanting to look elsewhere….
As far as his not opening up, it might just be his personality and not have anything to do with you. You just happen to be the one who gets stuck in the void.
Remember, you have enough love inside for it to go around a couple of times… there is a chance you might have been feeling some of your own love radiating off of him at times… it’s not a bad thing though. (This part makes me think: WHAT THE F?)
I know this doesn’t make it easier for you but I know in my heart you are a fantastic woman who is loving and worth being loved…. Don’t let things get to you too much.
I hate being an emotion sponge!
Hey Lozzy was thinking of you and hoping that you’re doing well.
Now to update you all.
And to let you all know, like I said before: Whether he tried to come back into my life the trust is completely gone. And I will forever hold a place for him in my heart and memories. But if he did ever want to come back into my life(which I highly doubt now)
He’d have to work hard to earn my trust again. I doubt he’d want to do that any way.
So with that said I sent him a Goodbye message. And it wasn’t emotionally driven. Shall I share it?
I mean I don’t expect him to respond.
This is the email I sent him:
I’ve come to the realization that:
The relationship was going no where. Maybe it hit you at that time and you decided we needed to move on. And you just couldn’t muster up the words to say so to me.
I agree for the most part. It wasn’t going any where.
I can’t be mad at you for wanting to move on. I am doing the same.
But will be following rules next time around.
I do miss you and I would like to think that you miss me somewhat also.
However…..
Maybe we could stay friends.
Maybe? Maybe not, Who knows!?
I guess I held on to the hope for something that could have flourished. But never did.
Against my better judgment I did develop feelings for you. Cause as a Woman that is how we work. And we think with our hearts.
From the beginning we both knew what ‘this was’, ‘what it wasn’t, and ‘what it couldn’t be’.
We will never know now will we?
So on that note, I say goodbye.
As a friend if nothing else.
And I apologize for ever making you feel down(if I ever did)
This surely was different.
I do wish you nothing but Love, wellness and success in your endeavors.
Sincerely
ME
Dear Beyonder,
I don’t know about writing it, OR HIM but i found that very hard to read. Your poor wee heart and the fact that you shared it with us!
I won’t advise…….just predict that someday when you really do find LOVE you will look back in wonder, and wonder what the hell did you ever see in him.
That probably isn’t what you want to hear and I probably shouldn’t throw in my tuppenceworth and I don’t do it lightly, but trust me I know a little about what I am talking about.
Take care of yourself, take it easy and I pray Love will find you……. just take your time.<3
Sent with much love.
Annie.
I make no apologies for being the way that I am. I am much better at writing than I am speaking face to face so It’s better I send him off with love. Like I said: I’m NOT waiting for him at all any more.
It is over between him and I. For sure
And my poor wee heart(lol) Is doing fine!
Thanks for reading
Hi Beyonder
Reading your email moved me, the love you have for this man shines through every sentence xx
You deserve better though, we all do!
I was also contemplating sending a text to mine but unlike yours it wofailuret have been with sweet sentiments!! I’m so ANGRY with him but I thought better of it because would he be worth it?
The reason mine has pulled away because he is ill, he has still made no contact with me, I called him 3 weeks ago to ask how he was, he said he would call me when he was well!! What if he never gets well, he has kidney failure , will he never speak to me again?
Well I just don’t buy it, or am I being completely unreasonable?
Why should I even care when he clearly has no thought for my well being. I’m in limbo with this, he knows I love him and its cruel what he’s doing.
I keep praying to my mum to help me through this and let him go once and for all, I just want him out of my head and my heart 😦
Lozzy xx
Lozzy
With all you’re going through health wise the last thing you need is worry and stress to make it worse.
Of course you know this
But when your Soul sings/dances for another that makes you feel like one, it sure is hard to forget
It’s like you want the pill to erase them from your memory because thinking about them and not knowing if they’ll ever come back can KILL You!
Just yesterday I had to force myself to delete all the messages I had saved between him and I. Because while I’m talking to a new guy(he’s Virgo) and I see the old texts from Wilson(the aqua ex) I get really sad. I hate it.
But it’s time to move on.
I hope he realizes what he’s doing to you and gets in touch at least.
All these guys need a SLAP upside their heads!
Beyonder
I’m glad you are able to move on, please take your time to get over him though..I would hate for you to end up in a re-bound situation. Not sure your heart could take it!
Lozzy
You poor lady! Your man is taking things a bit far, he could at least let you know how he is doing…he must know you are worried about him and for him not to contact you in any way is totally out of order and down righ rude. You don’t live too far away from me…if I remember right? It’s a shame we can’t meet up and do a bit of Aqua bashing (of the verbal kind I mean). Your man needs a rocket up the butt for being so mean!
Annie
You saying wee heart to Beyonder…does that mean you are from Scotland. It’s such a cute word!
Hi Need Aqua Help.
Thank you for asking am I from Beautiful Bonnie Scotland? …..actually NO.
Sadly as I love the place the people and their humour many a memorable night I have spent in the Highlands! It did really make me laugh to think that my partner might be wee physio Jimmy the mad Aquarian. (with respect.) lol. hahahahahah 🙂
No I don’t hail frey Scotland.
A thought came into my head if our significant others came knocking on the door and said ” I am here for your heart,” would you entrust it to him?
Hoping you are all well and coping with whatever this life hurls at us!
With Love.
Annie.
Annie
If my man told me he was here for my heart…you would have to pick me up off the floor haha. He would NEVER say anything like that! I wish he would be a bit more romantic but he makes up for it in so many other ways.
SORRY
I did mean to say Aye wee psycho Jimmy the mad Aquarian……mmmmmm we maybe well suited! lol 🙂
Ladies, and in particular Beyonder and Need Aqua, sorry for late reply but my computer has been seriously acting up but now fixed so I can log in again. Thanks for your replies !!
Things are not going well and I am in two minds about what to do. This guy, how can I explain it? First his lovely side, attentive when he is with me, very, everything seems just fine and then he goes off on a breeze and my insecurities set in. Will he be back, big question mark, does he think of me during our moments apart, does he actually give a s&€t. He is currently on an ‘off’ moment. I have read all the posts and wish I had done earlier, as the advice seems to be ‘leave him, ignore him in his moments of silence’. this is not what I have been doing but, right hand up, have been chasing. Bad mark for me and by nature, you could not call me ‘clingy’ but he brings out the super glue in me. Uggh I hate me for that.
The hallmark of this particular man is: a. walls of steel, cannot get past them b. emotions, yes, but buried so deep down you would need a big shovel to dig them out, I mean a cast iron shovel, and I don’t have one of them lol c. superficial, only ever seems to talk about banal stuff, cannot get past that d. secretive and only reveals what he wants to and what he decides to e. never answers a direct question, either diverts it to me or replies impassively or does not reply at all. Hard to deal with but hanging in there!! Is it the same for all of you?
Enough about me and my woes. Beyonder, Your last posts made me so sad and a wake- up call for me. I do admire the way you ‘sent him off with love’. It is a glorious attribute to you. I did read all your posts and they were inspirational, I mean how you can give so much love to somebody on a plate, and it is still not enough. You seem so real. I do think he loved you, loves you but the timing may not be right for either you or him and maybe the same in my case for me and him. He also seems a little shy and maybe overwhelmed with feelings he is unable to express so takes the easy road out and runs, no excuse though! I do hope you are ok and getting on and you deserve the best.
Shirley, my real name.
Hi Shirley
Thanks for reading up….
I think back from the very beginning and how almost desperate and silly I looked and felt.
On the other page? If you don’t know where that is here’s the link to it:
I started posting there back in the beginning of 2012 after his first disappearing act.
About trying to understand why this, why that.
And I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may never get a Solid answer
I just know that I’m not going to put my life on hold for him.
Like I said before the trust is completely gone because if you were dedicated to me as a bf then why did you feel the need to open an account on one of those online dating sites? Twice(didn’t confront him about the 1st time until the break up, to which I confronted him about both times)
And when I asked he denied putting them to use. He did however close the account down a few days after the break up.
He wants to be hidden from me and stay that way?
So be it. I won’t look for you.
Instead I’m moving on.
And not in the sense of jumping into a new relationship heck no.
I know where rebound relationships lead one to.
Instead I’m just talking to a new guy(Virgo)
And at least he has no qualms about telling me what he wants out of a relationship. He’s 37 and is up for being patient with me.
We just have no plans of meeting up any time soon.
The Roller coast ride these guys put us on may seem fun when we’re willing to ride. But once we realize that the ride is never ending do we realize that it’s time to get off. And breath, reflect and realize: We’re much too mature and in tune and in touch with ourselves. We can’t keep chasing after someone who only wants us to play on their tracks instead of moving on over to ours once in a while.
No thanks Not any more!
Hi Shirley
Mine won’t answer a direct question either, his reply is ALWAYS maybe, might be, could be etc…it drives me nuts. Yes he is also secretive, but I always turn it round on him by making a half statement to him about something, leaving him questioning what I mean. Are you now ignoring him to see if he comes to you? That’s the only way to find out if he really does give a s£$t. If he comes back…you know he does…if he doesn’t well you know the rest.
Near the top of this blog there is a lady called Aqua to Aqua read all her posts, she helped me sooo much on how to deal with these men. The bottom line is with them is…the more you act like you aren’t that bothered the more they come to you/want you. It’s crazy but so true. Have a read she’s fab.
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
My God just when I was starting to feel certain I’d never hear from him again. He responded to that email I shared recently with you all. The one you are referring to Shirley.
I got his email earlier today and just noticed it now.
His response was:
‘Hey, sorry I didn’t see this email before. I do miss you. How is everything going? And yeah we can stay friends if you would like to.’
I am not responding. I don’t know what to say. Does this mean we only stay friends and continue to communicate via email only? Or Do as I have said I needed to do? Not respond at all.
OMFG I’m like stunned and in shock wtfh??????????
sighs 😦
And funny today makes approximately 1 Month since the break up……….sighs
I responded with this:
I’m going to be honest/frank/keep it a hundred with you.
I was ready and almost sure I’d never hear from you again.
Trying to move on.
Because while I was with you(and maybe you can relate)
You were my distraction from myself. I have self esteem issues yeah. I know you do too
But you distracted me from noticing my own flaws. My head was always in the clouds. And though you always seemed grounded. Maybe I distracted you somewhat from what was most important and that’s your education.
I have been single this whole time. Though guys have tried talking to me.
All they want is the same thing. An easy piece of a55
And I’ve told them all: I’m not doing that/won’t do that because I’ve done it in the past and it goes no where fast.
And since I’ve last seen you the fogginess that I had is starting to go away. Now I don’t mean to make it seem like you’re a bad influence.
But maybe I just need to stay single for the sake of learning to love myself.
Wholly and completely.
Not trying to say we are going to be together again. Just saying…….
I don’t know if staying friends would be good for us either. What do you think?
Update again
We spoke a few hours today and got him to admit that he loves me and wants to be with me again. Said he would do whatever it takes to be with me. But we will see. I’m going make him prove that I can trust him this time around.
We’ll see how it goes!
Hi Ladies
Just thought I’d stop by and share some videos
The Lady in the videos name is: Alyssa Sharpe
I like what she has to say cause she keeps it real.
But be warned, She drops the F BOMB a lot lol
and I find her funny too.
I’m going to share the one titled ‘what I love about aquarius’ another titled ‘what I hate about aquarians in astrology’ and the 3rd is called: ‘Venus in aquarius, aquarius in love’
Enjoy!
Dear Beyonder, I want to learn. I took the time to read all the posts – a whole evenings reading- and there was one lady on the
Aman blog (where is Aman an his words of wisdom. I wonder, did he do a poof .)who almost predicted your outcome, called Dee who nailed it on the head. I do hope you are coping and rebuilding.. A smart lady. I just wonder what have you learned from your experience. I ask because I am still in the same situation, not moving forward, but not moving backward either. Think you could call it status quo. But I do love him which is hard to let go Right?
Even when you know it is all wrong, it still seems right. Sometimes, I regret that I cannot be a bit more forthcoming with my feelings and I wait too much for him but maybe he cannot do it because of his own insecurities so that makes two of us stuck, in an impasse. Nobody going anywhere and no decision. Have you any thoughts on that? Did listen to the A Sharpe videos you sent, oooooops, she has been stung by an Aquarius man somewhere down the line. It is so obvious. Best to you.
Hey Shirley.
yeah as far as that Virgo guy is concerned…..It never even started for me to say: It’s over before it began LOL
After a few weeks of just chatting wit him……There was a sudden shift in his energy/habits. (this is me speaking as an Empath)
Sorry if you don’t believe in this but it’s true in my World.
And he kept sending weird goodnight messages in the morning? Of all times I would ask him about it but he wouldn’t message me. I already had a feeling he’d been seeing someone else. Which I don’t really care about cause we didn’t even establish a relationship
But now and recently. I’ve been crushing on an OLDER MAN, he’s about 53 or 54 and unfortunately he’s aquarius. Sighs.
He’s so good looking for his age OMFG
And I had the balls to get his Number tonight. I did it on the sly too and won’t go into details but aren’t I supposed to be trying to avoid aqua Men???? LOL
Needs a slap for real.
Shirley.
In regards to expressing oneself, u may be better than me if you can hold back your feelings. It’s one thing to actually feel inwardly. But, if you cannot express them verbally is better than doing so cause it may scare him. Will he ever be ready to hear you say: I’m starting to have feelings for you? Or: I think I like you a lot more now than I did 2 months ago?
Because they think about things so much that they get so caught up in their own BIG/LITTLE world of aqua bliss.
I myself knew better than to mess with him but I chose to move forward with it any way.
Because I was not only listening with my heart instead but It was the feelings I had for him upon first meeting
The attraction and chemistry were both so instantaneous that I was hooked right away.
And though there were red flags before he and I actually met face to face I ignored those too.
One should not have to hide their true selves if they are in a relationship. And for some reason it seems hard to establish a relationship with these guys no?
If it seems just like a fbw type and it’s all u want go right ahead if u can detach feelings. But I know as myself I cannot do it!
ugh
So I’ve been single since Januray 21st……..sighs lol
No big deal though. AT least I don’t have to feel guilty about flirt chatting my Single Male friend who has liked me for over a year! But guess what. He’s about 54(not the one I’m crushing on) and he’s aqua too o.O
it’s like the Lord keeps throwing these aqua Men my way………..WHY THOUGH?
lol Teaching me a lesson?
Shirley…keep updating cause Maybe I didn’t have what it took to get my ex top open up to me.
Or may as I said to a friend: He was physically and mentally mature but EMOTIONALLY?????? HECK NO he wasn’t!
by the way Shirley
Alyssa Sharpe is currently Married to a Scorpio Man
and the only other serious relationship she was in besides him was, you guessed it an Aquarius.
Also she mentioned her Grandfather being one also and how much she adored him.
She explained that he was the nicest person and though he didn’t give his love too frequently, that when he did it was like a Gift.
On the contrary though, she mentions how they have this God complex
I can see that because the screen names my ex would choose were things like: Greatness, Mr Great, Unbelievable, or awesome LOL
hey shirley..i thnk u referred to me. i checked this site after almost a year.. i think when we are in the throes of infatuation, we lose our objectivity. most of us do..i did as well. and aqua men hv smthng abt them which draws us in. maybe its bec we can’t read them well. or maybe its bec of their blow hot blow cold behavior. whn its blow hot they sure are awsm.. m not sure.
what aman was trying to do i feel is give us pointers so that we understand aqua men betr. bec they are different and don’t behave like we normally wld in a given situation. smwhere somehow its we who got confused on how to handle this situation.
i have to say when i interacted with my aqua guy 2 yrs bac i wld get exasperated when he dint revert. and i wld prod him to get candid, be straight wid me. his blow hot blow cold behavior always confused me… i must hv askd him so many times just what was it that he wanted and if he would rather i didn’t msg him anymore y didn’t he say so?? instead of staying silent. and he wld but always tell me i like you so y shld i say no to you. i dont mind ur msgs.
sometimes he wld be so chatty and flirty and other times he wldn’t bother at all. just go silent. and most times i have to admit i initiated conversations. though in the initial few months whenever i wld go silent he wld get in touch and ask me whr was i for the past few days? (so i thnk they do notice ur presence/absence thou they may show they havnt). but i got too impatient and aftr cpl of mnths, i never waited for him to get in touch or initiate conversations. that prob was a big mistake on my part. smhow smwhere that shifted the dynamics of our so called fledgling association. he knew i was more into him than he into me.
comeon in our normal frndships we call frnds and make plans to meet them. we smtms call them and smtms they call us. we would probably stop and notice smthing amiss when we realize that its only us who’s calling them up to make plans. so what do we do then? either we ask them what’s wrong or we back off and let these frnds make the next plan. simple isn’t it if we think about it? so y is it that we forgot this basic elementary stuff while interacting wid aqua men? its prob bec it’s we who cldn’t handle their on/off behavior. its us who cldnt stay patient.
what we instead did ws read these articles. got it into our heads “o these guys are acting like true aqua sign no problem” and rushed in to initiate convo each time. which we wldn’t have under other circumstances. we needed to give them space to get back at us in their own time. like we wld in any other circumstance. but we didnt.
i was just as guilty. so this time when i interacted with the aqua man after ages. that’s wht i did. when he dint reply to my msg. i left him alone. he got in touch next day. after that yet again silence. so let him stay silent. for how long? one week? 2 weeks? 3 weeks? forever? fine that’s his choice. by the end of the first week, any which way, the edge of our impatience would have worn off and we would be back in control. but if they gt in touch, we can then b candid and tell them know that we wil not stand for this kinda behavior.
i don’t know if this will work of course but i would rather have someone who misses me and makes an attempt to stay close to me. rather than me wondering about him and initiating things each time and fretting about it. and feeling not so good about myself about always having to try and convince a reluctant lover to talk to you, love you. sound kinda pathetic doesn’t it?
Forgot to come here and say that he and I are back together since March 4th. Yep
———————————————————————
Ok Ladies
and Aquas lol
I have a little update for you all
So I will be posting this on both aqua blogs for all to see. I’m still in shock.
Wilson(my Man) tried to see me yesterday but since I’m just getting over the flu I said NO.
He understood……..so that’s that.
What’s interesting though is something that has absolutely nothing to do with him….well kinda
You see last week on the night of the 13th I woke up at about 3am went to check my Emails/fb page as usual and Was SO SHOCKED to find a friend request from someone I swore I would never hear from again.
Guess who it was……….
Drum roll please
My first Love! Alex(and yes he’s aqua). After about 15 years of no contact and trying he finally found me. He said: He was in love with me back then. That he still loves me to this day. And that before he left NY he promised he’d be back in a year(back then) But he apologised cause he never came back. I don’t remember half the crap he remembered. Told him about having major CRS.
Said that had he come back when he said he was going to that he would have given me an engagement ring. Cause out of all the gf’s he had taken to his Mom back then (though not at the same time) he said I was the only one she liked and that she told him that I should be the one he marries?
Hmmm anyway Long story short he knows I’m in a relationship with another aqua(how funny) I just can’t excape these aqua guys.
The thing about Alex and my relationship was it wasn’t sexual at all. We were
toghether 2.5 years and were connected mentally and spiritually. When we didn’t see each other for a day we’d at least talk on the phone til the wee hours at night/morning.
I told him about the situation between me and Wilson and Alex calls him a jack ass o.O
Well I can understand from his standpoint. He told me he doesn’t think that Wilson will ever take ‘our’ relationship seriously since we were together over a year and still has yet to introduce me to his Parents.
(I thought about him too over the years and even tried to look him to no avail. I always wondered if he was ok ya know?)
We are ok I feel(Wilson and me)
And lately I’ve been focusing a little more on me and a little less on HIM. Been meditating more/doing some Yoga/relaxation videos etc etc. I’ve even considered unplugging for a couple weeks so that I can focus on the above mentioned and on this cleanse that I plan on doing. And no I’m not going to fast. I’m just going to eliminate dairy and meat for some time to clean out my body. This is what my body is asking me to do so I’m going to listen.
I hope everyone here is doing well.
Love and Light and infinite Blessings
Beyonder
Wow, skin care,
Not exactly what I was expecting to read on this blog but as I am very interested in natural beauty thank you, do keep them coming.
lol Annie
Maybe you’re aware of this but sometimes we get people/companies trying to advertise for their companies/sites etc.
How’s every thing going for ya lately?
Same here!
Hi Beyonder,
Thank you.
Sorry I must be that word naive or something lol.
I just felt it was someone with something interesting to say!
Explaining something I am interested in albeit it did appear a bit abstract.
I just love to learn new things and I am a great advocate of anything natural and certainly will look into the benefits of warercress!
Thank you for asking Beyonder I am really good. How is life treating you and your significant other, your child and grandmother?
Take care,
Love,
annie.
Me too. Skin care a most welcome distraction from trying to figure out the elusive Aquarius man! Welcome to never never land. Does my head in, but maybe just maybe, we give far too much attention to THEM and not enough to US. Bring on the watercress skin care and anything else that helps. lol. @ Dee. Hope you are well and do you really believe he works from 11 morning to 11 night, really? and without a break? Mmmm. I challenge. Beyonder ok? I am ok but seriously doubting, and just about ready to call a halt. It has been too long without some sort of sign of what feels for me, if he does, who knows…and commitment, forget about that, he is out there with the butterflies and the bees. Do they know how to say ‘I love you’ safely and without reserve ? Are they able ? Is it an alien feeling in their mind ? So many doubts, just do not wish to continue to care if it nothing is coming back. Xxx to all. Any thoughts?
hey guys..i checked the site after many days..skin care.. yeah bring on the works. m in d midst of hot scorching summer here. :-)..
well shirl he does work v late hours and many times on the wknds too.. he is a v successful entrepreneur. but hey m not using that as an excuse. he uses that whenever i asked him in the past about his silence. he says he always responds except when hes busy. who knows.
where there’s a will there’s a way. and matter of priorities as well. they do like us i know. but not enough to let go and just go with the flow. so even though u hv had a long deep talk today or a great meeting, 2rw is another ballgame altogether. if u know what i mean. :-).. u cant progress in ur frndship/relationship if one of the persons isn’t inclined to. if hes free or bored and if u ping him at that time, he responds. that’s how it appears. or if u interact after ages, he responds. but it never goes any further. lol.
i don’t bother much with him these days or try to get things on a personal mode. dnt try and talk to him. i send him forwards like i send to other frnds on my list but don’t initiate any conversation. and neither does he. shrug.
m in that “if it has to happen, it will” mode. besides we stay in different cities. about 4/5 hours drive away. so even if i wanted to push a bit for personal meetings, i cant really. till u meet more in person, this ones gona just stay on paper. i don’t fancy going all the way down to meet him unless i see some enthusiasm. and till we have met few more times for casual dates, i don’t see him acting with any enthusiasm. lol. its a no win situation for now.
Here is my question…
Been with an aqua casually for a year. He does the cancelling thing.
He has cancelled 3 times last minute and said he was throwing up…I finally called him out…and said again!?!?! He saw me that night 😉
Now he doesn’t cancel per se…but he will say…wanna go to dinner this weekend…and then I don’t hear from him. We have gotten a lot closer the past month…as far as communicating and he has really opened up with me.
It is just so hard top get him to go out…much less see me. We see each other 2x a month. But in our defense we have opposite schedule s with our kids. He has his on the weekend and mine through the week.
I just don’t know how to get through on seeing him a little more without being clingy…because I am not a bit.
I have actually broken it off before with him because of it…but he came back.
I just don’t know what to do..help
Hi crazyaboutaquas,
Firstly I would hope you get a few answers to your question as we are all so different.
Casually for about a year you say? That doesn’t sound good to me
but in your favour it’s long enough to be able to ask a few questions
without looking clingy so I would forget that. Twice a month ain’t too clingy.
So you broke it off with hm, he came back but it seems once again on his terms.
Yes the practical side of it is he has children and if he works all week and has them at weekends it must be tough enough.
However you are in a relationship with a man you feel strongly for but he is not meeting your needs…….what to do.
Well we all have a heart and no matter what boundaries we think we will set along comes someone and they get scuppered.
However being practical again you do have to ask “how’s that working for you” and it obviously isn’t so I will repeat that again it isn’t because you are not happy,
So back to the drawing board and when I read it , without any feelings for this man, I thought it isn’t good enough! I will soften up on the children bit because to me children come first. Now I have never had to share a man with his children and all that, that involves so that is not easy either.
He thinks he can fob you off with lame excuses…..unacceptable.However.I just get the feeling he does like you and perhaps he is very hurt from his past experience.
The one big thing that is obviously wrong here is lack of communication, He isn’t being open with you….for what ever reason
perhaps he can’t but as I said at the start you are with him long enough to be granted a few straight answers. Being me if you don’t get them..I would move on because for whatever reason you are being messed around. You need to tell him, you need to mean it. He needs to make changes.
Your happiness should mean more to him and it seems to me you are being taken for granted.
Keep this in the back of your mind because as I write this I do feel no one has the right to meddle in other peoples affairs. I am learning this more and more. However you did ask for advice and this is only my thinking someone else will see it differently..
Be Happy.
With Love,
Annie.
.
Thanks for your insights Annie. Unfortunately things have just gotten weirder.
He really started to show he cared. He has been in contact a lot more, saying he misses me and sorry that he has been busy.
Well.. I have seen him 2 times since March 16th. The past 2 times things were great. We get along so well.
Fast forward to a week ago. I told him…I honestly don’t know what if anything you want with me anymore. You won’t allow us to see each other or go out. Maybe its me maybe your walls are too high to scale. If you don’t want to do this anymore..now is the time to end it and go out separate ways. I feel you have lost interest and honestly I am too.
I understand everyone is busy… but if you wanted to see me….you could make time. We have seen each other less in the past 3 months then we ever have. ( We are at a year right now.)
So he responds with…I do miss you and sorry you feel that way.
I said words are words.
He gives no concrete answers to anything. Now in the past he has said I miss you…he even admitted to liking me a few months back and said I am tough…and if you push I will go the other way.
Now…I have played devils advocate. Is he possibly falling in love with me and he is trying so hard not to. I mean the guy is a commitment phobe..extreme.
Has he completely lost interest or friend zoning me??? I really don’t know. We were in contact over the past weekend and nothing all week.
I understand he has his son every weekend…but seriously I feel this is his shield. I do. His son is very active in sports and he is always there. I get that. But after a year…if he would bring me around family and friends this wouldn’t even be an issue. He has mentioned it..never happens.
So…I want to walk. I have expressed how I feel and am ready to walk. Problem is…he did me a favor and ordered something for me…2 months ago and he hasn’t made good on that either. So my item and money is where ever. So I feel I need to keep him around to get what he owes me. But I have honestly been done for awhile. This has just proved how much he doesn’t seem to care. I have asked weekly and its always another excuse.
Like so many others…he is my dream guy. Good looking, smart, great conversations…he just won’t relate to me in ways I need him too.
Dazed and confused.
Speaking of the devil…he just called
P.S.
Yes you say he has really opened up to you? You need to REALLY open up to him.
I’m on a roll this morning. Read this and it hit home.
“LET GO OR BE DRAGGED!”
hey beyonder and shirl..whats happening wid u guys?? mine is over..or leme say it dint really take off again. he dsn’t get in touch and i say hey and hello once in a way.. he usually responds to that..but that’s just him being polite.
i thnk we hv gone into that once in a way “hello frnds” zone” … infact he is off on a holiday wid a FWB companion.. m ok actually.. but at times when m alone and my mind wonders i feel a litl down. hope u guys fared betr..
Hi Dee
I guess I’m having a bad day?
Yesterday was a beautiful and Happy/Joyful Mother’s day. Had Family over, shared good food/laughs with them.
Now in regards to my aqua. I don’t know. But I haven’t heard from him since last Monday. I try so hard to keep a positive attitude but for some reason, not hearing at least a Happy Mother’s day from him? He always at least sends a message. Forget a phone call. I’m so use to him and his way of being that I’ve become practically numb. But Between him and my best friend of 25 plus years and not hearing at least a Happy Mother’s day Message? Is this petty of me? I don’t know. Need to meditate tonight. Since I’ve been working out regularly and meditating but, haven’t for a few days. Meditation def. puts me in a Happy Place.
Blessings
maybe u feel so strongly bec u r a mom?? i like my mother and its not restricted to any particular day. so i don’t see whats the big fuss about mothers day. i wish her and thats that..buy her a gift and sm chocs. but its like any other normal day for me. so maybe he thinks like me as well?? and there’s nthing more than that?
i realised one thing over the past few days. dealing with your feeling for an aqua man or helping u heal over the pain and confusion brought abt by an aqua man bec of his typ aqua behaviour..this site really helped me. and u guys. i felt i wasn’t alone. i feel really sad that i will never ever get any chance with my aqua guy and it makes me kinda blue. i guess i have no option but to forget. the thot is making me broody. not that i have been constantly chasing him but the acceptance that i just gota stop totally and nt look bac at all..:-(((..
Forget about NOT HEARING FROM HIM Yesterday…….it’s the fact that it’s been a week TODAY since I last heard from him.
Like I should be surprised right?
Listen Dee
You are a Brilliant/Strong Woman and you don’t need that GUY(take my own advice right)?
Sheesh
You can do better!!!……so can I. But when will I realize this?
sighs
Oh by the way.
Did I mention how my first love found me on FB back on Mar 14th(yes he’s aqua)
Hadn’t heard from him in over 15 years.
Back on Mar 14th he told me: After all these years he was still in love with me. He knows I am in a relationship.
So fast forward 2 Months. He calls the other week to catch and to say: He’s engaged? LOL
Before you assume trust me I’m not jealous but how do you go from admitting you’re still in love with me now you’re engaged?
Get this: They’re not getting married for a year or 2. And I’m invited?
I seriously think he wanted me to be upset but I did congratulate him.
Funny guys I tell ya!
haha..what crap..i thnk he was just fooling around. but he realised ur anywys emotionally unavailable and u dnt really care much..i mean come on 15 yrs is a long time. and he expects u to drop evrythng and believe his silly stories. i met my high school frnds after 20 years! every 1 was so excited to meet the other. but hey that was short lived. u get together relive the past for few moments. but unless ur thots match today, u cant form any frndship with them. they just remain part of ur memory and childhood..
ur rite ofcrse. in due course i will find some else and this guy will just remain a memory.. i was involved wid sm1 few mnths bac and i was thinking of taking that relationship to the next level. but one day it struck me. I just like him as a frnd and that’s all.. so i took 2 steps back. and i asked him i need time to rethink. we lost touch. and i dont feel the urge to renew this relation. not at all.
to be fair i suppose it all was probably in my mind with the aqua. he never really bothered too much to stay in touch nor keep in contact. except in the initial few months. for me its like a cycle. i manage to forget all abt him and then sudnly he comes to mind. and when that happens i ping him for a hello. but yes he always responds but we can put that down to him being polite.i need to just put him out of my mind and for ever…
in a way i admire u..u really like this guy so u stuck on to ur belief, feelings and did ur best to make it happen. taking shit along wid gud but u nvr deterred. i knew from the start that i prob need to do a little more to make it happen. but i nvr took any real steps in that direction. i don’t know if that wld have really helped me in the long run but i never tried. ppl say that women shld let men do the chasing. but i dnt strictly believe in that.
nywys too late for me.. but why r u getting hyper? this has happened so many times so just do ur own thng currently and let him revert. or if he doesn’t then u do after few days..
yep heard from him today, His phone was disconnected. A friend of mine who’s in college said: He’s probably got finals. Then after I told him about the phone not being connected he said: Yep as college students we can be broke!
Oh Dee
I’ve been tempted on more than a few occasions to go astray on him but I haven’t.
I truly hope my patience pays off…….eventually!!
Time will tell
hehe..see i told ya..:-)..ummm..i supose u gota do what u feel is rite for u. for me, the men i hv been meeting recently, fall into 2 categories. either they are fun to talk with (friend material) or they r someone i share a physical chem with (fling material). haven’t met any1 recently wid whom i can share both simultaneously. and therein lies the problemo..
wid aqua i felt both. and maybe that’s the reason i got hooked. infact the first time i met him i said y o y is it that i can’t find someone wid whom i cant njy both. sigh..
Crazy about Aquarius.
Good looks smart and great conversations are no substitute for a warm loving heart and a man who will bend over backwards to show you how much he cares.
Your first year together……..seeing him twice since MARCH!
Well you can delude yourself if you wish.
He can’t even provide you with what you paid for…..no you can wait for that as well!
I would walk and fast, there are other ways of getting back what is yours.
I understand it isn’t what you want to hear but something needs to shake him up. There is a saying which I believe….. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” He has disrespected you on many levels!
Find yourself someone worthy of the word LOVE and put your efforts into that
Ask yourself also why you tolerated this…..I only say this so you don’t make the same mistake again.
If you are wondering who is she ……..just someone learning from my mistakes. It is simply how I see it as you write it.
Aquarius men are hard to pin down, yes they are very clever but they refuse to let a good thing go and when she decides to go they will do everything in their power to get her back.
Warmest Wishes
annie.
I could swear that in an email I received that crazyaboutaquas said: Speaking of the devil he just called.
Wondering if it was good news???????
ok saw it, had to scroll up a bit
i am not sure if the frequency of meetings are that imp with aquas..or is it?? they don’t seem to function like others and i think if u expect an aqua to do what other men usually do for their gfs, then u mite as well call it a day and go home on the first day itslf…..
i am in sporadic touch with my aqua and i feel i have moved from that frantic zone. i am still attracted to him but have stopped thinking in terms of getting together with him. for me now its more like an outsider kinda watching in. if it has to happen it will. shrug, i do go out for dates and meet other men.
funny thing is when i chatted with my aqua over the wknd after many weeks, he started the same shit again. like he really likes me and he thought we connect well mentally… yeah rite. that’s why i suppose we are close and with each other today. lol.
I think it depends on how much Free time they have and what phase of the relationship they are in maybe? Cause back in January b4 the breakup, when I found his okcupid account. One of the questions I do remember was something like: Is communicating with your SO ever day important to you? And his answer was something like: Yes Unless otherwise specified. So do I not have a reason for feeling insecure? hmmmm
i am not sure if you could use that as a yardstick. I mean we all know its boring to fill profile details and answer qstns to register urself on these dating sites.
u shld probably see how far u have come in ur relationship with ur aqua over the past few months of reg interaction and meetings with him. instead of what he writes on various dating sites. take an objective view on where u stand in his life. and what do u foresee say 6 months down the line?
In my case nothing much really happened. And the fact that aqua and I live in 2 different cities didn’t help much my case. i was supposed to visit his city this wknd and hence asked him if we could perhaps catch up when m there in the evening. he said sure he wld love to meet and from that point on he started talking abt what he felt when we met ages back and said he thought there was always a connect btwn us. and that he hasn’t forgotten our brief time together. i have no idea why he would talk abt the past when he does nothing to make things happen in person. he doesn’t walk the talk as i have learnt from the past. so i just take whatever he says as rantings and forget abt it the next day.
earlier i wld replay all that he said and over the next few days replay it over and over in my mind. and remind him that since he said those things why wsn’t he acting on them.. kinda try and trap the person on the things he said in the past. ofcrse after i while i realized the futility of it. doesn’t do anything to make him change his ways just makes u crazier. u cant force someone..
as i wrote in one of my earlier posts here, its not always necessary for us to view our thots loud and burn our bridges. at times it perhaps is betr to stay quiet and move on without any pronouncements. u just never know what the future has in store. so make peace sm times with the current situation and let it be for the present. that’s what i did in case of my aqua.
Mmmm ladies the aqua man conundrum. You still seem to be battling with that. Down the line, I am still in some kind of relationship with this guy but since Feb when I last posted, I have completely changed tactics. I no longer initiate anything. If he wants to text, call….fine, I reply only, not always available. I guess he has worked down my expectations. I don’t have any really anymore and I told him that. I get on with my life. Yes, I do love him but not enough to put my life on hold. He likes a good think, so let him keep thinking about whatever it is he thinks about when I am not around smile. they like it this way, free to come and no, no demands…well it is another way of loving, I suppose and strangely enough, the two of us are quite similar in that way because I don’t do clingy either but what is really odd for me is to experience that from somebody else. A taste of my own medicine ha ha. The wheel comes back round.
@ Dee, you said a few things which struck a cord with me, well, particularly the one about quiet fade outs rather than dramatic goodbyes, if I have understood you. That is what I will prob do when the time is right and I am ready. And the mental connection, I think they like that very much, I mean musing over things but not really expressing, sampling you in their heads, leaving themselves the option to change their minds (frequently) which explains the distancing and giving themselves the option of not making up their minds at all, loose endings. They are supposedly a fixed sign. Mmmm. I don’t like that idea very much because at first it spells strength and maybe an advantage. But really it means stubborn, an inability to adapt, an immovable object rather like a wall that is hard to budge except with a sledge hammer. It doesn’t seem to rhyme with air which is their sign. So another conundrum I guess.
And to finish (by now, you are saying please do!!) maybe there are lessons too. My one and here it is: I am more of the earthy type, I like to plan, decide, achieve, get stuck in, sort things out, get things done. But hah, with this guy, none of this is possible. He is more of your fuzzy edges type, no real plans, ‘let’s see how it turns out’ type, don’t fense me in. so this is the challenge for me, I don’t mean just with with respect to him, but all the areas in ones life where you have no control and you just have to adapt, if adapting is the right thing to do, or leave the situation entirely. Been thinking a lot about that lately.
@ Beyonder, good luck and I am sure if it is meant to be, it is meant to be, you sure have a great attitude, just make sure he deserves you and appreciates all that you have brought to his life. I sense maybe that you have more to give to him than he has to give to you? It may make him feel somehow inadequate and not worthy ? Just another thought to mull over. A weaker, less resilient lady would most likely have abandoned him by now. Sorry if I have been a bit incoherent but isn’t it great to indulge in a bit of rambling now and again, I think it is called ‘free association’, it helps to unravel and clear the mind. Feel free. Kind thoughts to all.
@Shirley
I some times feel as if I’m not enough or if he’s bored with me.
I know they are beyond the norm and I TRY let me repeat: I TRY AND TRY AND TRY to be so very patient with him but
When I ask: Have you not told your Family or friends about me? He says:No.
And then I ask:Does your Mom know you’re seeing someone? He said: he believes she has an idea. I ask: Does she ask? He said no bc she doesn’t care about who I see she only cares about my education.
So that right there I understand but I immediately took it to mean: I’m not important enough for him to mention me to anyone.
It truly sucks feeling like he’s ashamed/embarrassed about me. Like I said below: I feel like I’m his dirty little secret.
Tomorrow is my 35th Birthday. I wouldn’t be surprised if I didn’t hear from him……..but It would hurt none the less.
Maybe I’m being sensitive now a days. So be it. My gift to myself this Birthday is to stop biting my tongue. Because I do that with him a whole lot sos to not make him uncomfortable. In the meantime I’m the one that’s uncomfortable. Walking on eggshells to keep the peace.
Can’t do it any more.
Stick a form in me cause I’m done!
Update:
All is fine……..again.
He’s on this phone plan where he’s still paying for the phone on top of his plan so I’m not getting some of his messages. The morning of my B.day he had to go visit an Uncle in the Hospital bc he had suffered a stroke the day b4.
Though I had to remind him of my Birthday (:l)
He wished he had money to take me out to celebrate. I reminded him we didn’t need money to celebrate.
So I invited him over and we toasted to my B.day.
The end.
lol
no shirl..ramblings..none at all from u. ur quite clear in ur thots and u express them beautifully. ur q eloquent if i must say..:-). yes i mirror what u say. after a point u realize u can’t keep breaking your head over them. u not only accept the fact that u like them but also that u can’t keep up with the way they behave indefinitely. i suppose after a while u reconcile and take few steps back. and then steer ur self and accelerate slowly in another direction.
i don’t talk about why he did this or why he dint do that..not anymore. infact the time before last when we chatted i told him he shld actually try and make things work with the woman he was having a fling with. he said nope. shes just a frnd and she wl remain that. he was adamant abt it. shrug. i told him he has a closed mind and he never lets any1 in. he shld try i said. start with the woman hes having a fling with. he said he doesn’t love her. it was hilarious. are these men capable of loving sm1 and without restraints??? dnt thnk so..or if they do they cant express.
i do go out and meet other men, njy dates. if i get invlvd wid sm1 on a deeper level, i supose i wld stop bothering abt the aqua altogether. rt now i turn to him whenever i feel bored or m drunk and need a 2 am frnd to talk to. weird thing is he mostly alwys responds to my msgs provided i dont communicate daily. cant make no sens nor tail abt wht they want. lol.
Hello Dee. Thanks for your reply!! Exactly that, what you said in a previous post. Fade out elegantly, but no dramatic goodbyes. Hey, why would you lock a door and bolt it when you could just as easily leave it ajar and leave yourself the possibility to peep in there again. Have some fun, and not take it too seriously. Of course all depends on whether or not you are a ‘diva’ or a ‘ drama queen’. I am neither of those. Always best to give the benefit of the doubt. Best wishes for a bright future with or without the very complicated aqua man. Blessings.
hey shirl.. i don’t know abt the diva part but have had a few moments as a drama queen. :-).. hv learnt to be not so melodramatic these days….. fading away quietly. nt sure if that applies in my situation currently.. my equation with the aqua has changed over the past few months. We have becm casual frnds now with no real talk of getting together or discussing us but there is an underlined liking and attraction without any underlying pressure..
we both are ok living in our current separate spheres and haven’t yet tried to meet to explore again what we once felt for each other. we both were very strongly physically attrcted to each other. still are i suppose. i have to visit the city where he resides for sm personal work but am kind of holding it off. and even if i do visit i really dont know whether i would try and meet him to be honest.
he always reverts whenever i ping thou he nvr initiates. even ystrdy i just started chatting abt smthng and he responded. later on found out that he was out attending a frnds wedding. i just chat with him like i would with any casual frnd i supose. wid no set time pattern. i pinged him a week bac late nite aftr my nite out. he dint respond. but he did get in touch the next morning and that he hdnt seen my msg…
maybe things r easy for me now bec i do not have any expectation. even if he fades while we chatting i just take it that he got busy wid some other stuff and dnt bother. i no longer feel angry or anxious n i don’t get disappointed.
the fact that i discuss him here still means that i do like him even now. but whether things will progress i hv no clue and m not waiting either with bated breath. que sera sera..:-)
I have a lot of things to tell/say/express.
I’ve reached the point of being fed up and I hate feeling like he’s embarrassed or ashamed of me. I almost feel like I’m his dirty little secret…….sighs
I’ll tell you why I feel this way tomorrow night.
o sorry..i have logged on here after many days. shirl and i, i thnk are kind of resigned to the aquas and their traits. and i supose we in a way have stoppd thinking in terms of “geting togther” or an “us”. and left thngs the way they are. we cant deny that we still like them loads but…
beyndr why wht happened?
Last week i got exasperated at the aqua when he dint respond when i msgd. so told him why can’t he be like other normal ppl? just msg busy instead of using silence to get the point across that u busy. and that he behaves just like a robot.. he has told me many times in the past that he alwys respnds except when busy. so i shld just nt bother at that time. so y can’t i learn that and leave him alone instead of asking him to behave in a particular way whn i myslf cant change?? he ofcourse didnt react at all to my outburst and just ignored. i realized m being silly in the sense i am expecting “normal” thngs from an AQUA??? lol.. And aftr any outburst from u, he will adopt silence. thats been the pattern in my case at least.
beyonder i gues what i am trying to say with my latest escapade is he doesn’t react to any outbursts or emotiional pressures. maybe he dsnt understand them or chooses to keep himsef away from all this. i dont know. but there is no sense in appealing to his emotional side by showing hw hurt u feel when u angry or upset. u just come across as a volatile woman in emotional throes to him.. and we all have seen that even when we try and get our point acros when we all gud and cool he agrees wid us and then goes ahead and does the same exact thng. so not sure what or how to get across thru them but def not the confrontational way. besides u cant say do this or m gone. he wl not budge. so o point unless ur ready to get lost for gud if he dsnt come thru.
i visited his city for some persnal work ovr the wknd. but dint connect wid him since he had chosen to gime the silent treatment. anywys whn i got bac i just told him on a whim i was visiting ur city but since u seemed too busy i thot best i shldnt disturb. he immediately responsed by saying i shld have called him. i hv no clue what i will do but i m still q interested in him despite no meetings wid him for ages.
i am also talking to a cpla other nice men but smthng seems missing on my part nt theirs. but m keeping an open mind and trying to meet and date others. who knows whats in store???
Hello Beyonder, I do hope you had a great birthday spent with your aquaman. Going straight to the point, I don’t think the fact that he has not mentioned you to his mother is anything to do with the fact that you are boring (BTW you don’t sound like a boring person) or your looks or that he is ashamed. He would not be with you so long if he were not benefitting from your time together and it does not sound fwb either. No, I would say it is all around this commitment thing. Some people have this silly idea that once you are introduced to friends and family, then you are IT, you are the girlfriend, it is serious and binding. Maybe, he does not want to give that impression to you YET. It must be uncomfortable for you tho’. These guys are hard to talk to. I mean, it seems to be the most simple thing in the world to be direct to ask a simple question, get a simple reply but no, not with these guys, totally relate to the walking on eggshells bit. But hey, if it bothers you, take him by surprise when he least expects it, like when you are out walking or cooking, just slip him a comment like, …..”any reason you have not introduced”….bla bla. Open question. I have done this, but sorry to say, I just got mumbles, yes really mumbles but you may have better luck. Coming back on the topic, there are another two things that you might factor in. Could he be ashamed of his family, home? Is he extremely private? Have you met his friends? Do you go out in public, take you out on dates? No need to answer but sometimes the answer is not always obvious. But isn’t it so sad that we have to come on forums to figure things out.
As for me, did a thing . He cancelled a date, SO SO disappointed but his reason was valid and he did give me notice but I sort of panicked, they sure have a way of making you feel insecure. Anyway, very very awkward phonecall, you know when you want to say something and don’t say, talk about something totally beside the point, wish you could just hang up and then an awkward goodbye and not a good feeling, a feeling of something wrong but can’t quite put your finger on it And then thinking maybe I am being far too sensitive and over-thinking. Then I decided maybe it was the time to end all this or even talk about ending it. So, I sent him a text and asked if we could talk- he was having an early night, hence the text. Didn’t sleep well. No answer until 06:00 the following morning when he was on the train and he asked if I had anything in particular to tell him so I replied ‘no it can wait’. And there we are. All a bit awkward now and I suppose it will be up to me to get it back on even keel. A lot of hard work, if you ask me.
@ Dee, a word for you, you sound so ZEN and resigned and maybe ready to turn a page? totally totally agree, the way to this man’s heart is not through his emotional channel, did one of those outbursts once and just got a blank face from him, like he was helpless and I was mad :):) Never did it again. Oh well, let’s just stay positive and busy.
@beyonder.. strangely i dont see ur other posts.. just the first one saying you have to express/say thngs. wierd..while its obvious shirl read ur other posts. wonder y i cant see them??
so cant really discuss or offer my views to help u undertsand ur situation betr. : (.
@shirl.. i wish i was so unaffected.. but m not.. just trying to be practical abt things here wid my head bec my heart is not in its rt place. lol..u guys atlst meet reg but i dont even do that. i even lost touch with him for a year and reinitiated my interaction wid him again. yet i feel just like I did when we first met.
i know and he knows the next meeting we have we will become lovers for sure. its boiling hot and ready to spill. he talks abt our brief make out sessions even after all this while just like i cant forget abt those moments. he was out wid his friends last evening for dinr but throughout we kept msging. even last nite he remembered how it was to kiss me. i know he likes me. but he is not ready to take a chance and plunge n just go wid the flow. we talked about many general things. he knows i want emotional connect, real intimacy. so i thnk hes wary. this ones not going to be a fuck and forget for him.
about geting on the new page. i know its unwise to get stuck on the same page for ages.. so i started going out and meeting others. if i dont give any1 any chance, how wll i ever move on?? but m not able to meet anyone who strikes a chord within me.
shirl u gota remember…dont dont dont end or try to end things when ur feeling emotionally fragile. bec the min ur normal u will regret. like i said try not to end thngs. let it stay in abeyance. end it in ur head if u want. take time off. meet others. go on dates. try and cool off in your head. remember u dont have to say bye.. try not to get confrontational and try not to issue ultimatums. u end up looking stupid and they almost alwys never come thru.. thats what i try to do in my interactions. let him be when he doesnt respond. take that to mean that he has actually said hes busy.
in the earlier days any detailed and long conversations wid the aqua and i wld start dreamin and jumping wid joy. its only wid time u realise that unless words are accompanied by action they pretty much dnt mean a thing. :-)..hv learnt to keep myslf grounded and maintain my balance no matr what. 🙂
Hi dee here is the update I had posted under my own post
Beyonder33 – June 24, 2014
Update:
All is fine……..again.
He’s on this phone plan where he’s still paying for the phone on top of his plan so I’m not getting some of his messages. The morning of my B.day he had to go visit an Uncle in the Hospital bc he had suffered a stroke the day b4.
Though I had to remind him of my Birthday (:l)
He wished he had money to take me out to celebrate. I reminded him we didn’t need money to celebrate.
So I invited him over and we toasted to my B.day.
The end.
lol
—————————————————————————
I have a date planned with him on July 5th Ladies. I told him to make sure he doesn’t have other plans on that day.
Problem is I’m still not sure where to go with him. Could be the park, an aquarium(haha) or another place near a body of water. We’ll see. I was also thinking of packing a picnic basket for us and going to a park. hmmm I need ideas
dose of reality. a gud frnd of mine just shook me wid simple qstns. sure he responds whenevr u msg but just how many times does he attempt to get in touch wid u? how many times does he seek u out? how many times does he initiate convos. to my embarassmnt i had to say very rarely. so he said there u hv ur answer..lolol..
his version is he likes u and wants to sleep wid u. but widout any emotional baggage. the only reason it hasnt happened yet is bec he doesnt want emotional clutter. the day hes convinced that u have started thinking like him, he will get in. till that happens he wont get close to u. .or if he sudnly decides he wants to let u in his life as well and nt just his bed….
the problem my frnd’s views makes total sens to me..
guys i reached the end of my patience. i had a detailed interaction wid my aqua on wed nite. knowing him the way i do i knew he wld avoid all msgs frm me the next day. and it suddenly struck me why?? so i msgd knowing fully well he most probably wldnt respond and he didnt. i also called but he dint take my call. thats it.
m done here. and i dnt want to leave any doors open for him to ever slide through again. i doubt he wld bother anyways. not after my last message which i thot abt and then sent knowing fully well there was no way bac in once i do that. “i just said i fell for u frm the min we kissed the first time and m fed up of hiding it. Tried my best to get u to give me and us a chance. I dbt u wl ever really let me in. i hold only good wishes in my heart for u. tc and bye..”
M SO DONE…. hv deleted all his pics and nos and chats.. i actually told him abt my feelings. i dont care. m fed up of being so unemotional. but emotions are his achilles heel. he wl nvr revrt i know v well. but its ok. i will not go bac to my tip toeing ways. i wana roar..it sounds cliched but thats how i feel. m a leo btw…
@ beyonder.. park sounds like a gud idea..
Hi Dee, did nothing. Chose inaction. No word from him since last interaction. You are right, a dose of reality is what is needed. The words of your friend are so wise, if he is not initiating and not making an effort, why bother. Your man, don’t know quite what to make of that. WTF comes to mind. Keeping you on back burner for when he needs an ego boost dunno, who knows. I do love your last words to him. You let him know you feel without any bitterness and wished him well, would he have ever, ever done the same for you. I know my patience is wearing thin, and I have got some. Anyway, who needs all that drama in their life. Just wish I could figure it out though. Good luck meeting other men, I have to also, don’t know where to start, not sure I am really ready, and even the thoughts of a dating site leaves me cold. @Beyonder, the picnic sounds great !! Good luck.
hey shirl, maybe i was the one who was trying to make smthng out of very little. i duno when the equation shifted. after recontacting him, i was careful abt nt initiating cntct always at the start. but he took his time to get in touch and i supose slowly i gt bac in the habit of initiating chats with him. he did respond most of the tms ofcse and therein i misinterpreted thngs. but regardless of who initiated chats, he said many rt things but never really tried to come and meet me. he wld keep talking abt how it was btwn us and i supose i fell again for him. its only after my frnd put it out clearly that i cld not deny anymore that i am being blind to the obvious. though i talk more to him now thn earlier, there was no real progress.
to be honest i still feel tempted to readd his cell no in my cntct list. but of crse m nt gona readd him. i need to get this disease out of my head and life. after a woman tells a man she loves him and he chooses to stay silent, that kinda says it all rite? ther is no way i can ever reconnect wid him after that widout losing face and my self respect.
my frnd who gave me the dose, thnks he will get in touch wid me. and that i shld stay firm and nt let him in again. he thnks even if he gets in touch, its gona be the same thng all over again. to be honest, i have my doubts.. i actually told the aqua i love him which must have freaked him out thou m sure he knew it deep down. i dont thnk he will ever get in touch with me. gosh that sounds q final..
i duno shirl what he wld have done had he been in my place. prob not like me. but it was easy for me to write what i did. i still like him and if he cannot like me the way i like him, thats probably not his fault. but yeah m quite positive. i will never get in touch with him again.
shirl thats soo typical. any other guy wld have tried to get in touch with u to know just what it was u wanted to tell him so urgently. haha.. he dint revrt.. such typ behaviour. i supose u now get down to waiting for him to get in touch. o the same old pattern.. always supressing your impulses. cant keep making the first moves yet hate waiting for him to make the next move.. its like even if u nt making the first moves u still are waiting for him to make the move? whats the difference really? he is still holing the cards isnt he? i hated that.. sigh…
Dee, you have done everything you could have and laid it bare, I admire that. At least there is no room for any doubts on his part. He will be flattered of course but quite what he will do about it is anybody’s guess, well exccept to mull over it and hmm and haw. And I think your friend has been spot on. As for me, I am as stubborn as you will get, no move from me but neither has he. We’ll see. I suppose we really have to believe that if it is meant to be, it will be. Just came across another blog. Go read this, more of the same, quite incredible. http://www.love-astrology.com/astrology/men/aquarius-men/
discussing on this site is like therapy for me atlst. i knw i can b open widout any1 judging me. i did this whole routine of waiting for him to connect or initiate contact. but thngs were the same i supose rt till the end wid no real progress.
i came across two articles recently which also cld have had a hand in me finally taking that bold step.
one was try and put urself in the other persons shoes and imagine urself behaving the way he has been behaving till now. just think why or when wld u behave that way? is it that u respond sporadically to some men bec you are not all that interested? and ur just keeping him as a backup? u like him but ur not very sure or nt all that interested so u respond but not so much as to get ito an active relationship. i myself have done that a few times i must say. i hated saying a direct no to genuinely nice ppl and hoped that maybe i cld begin to feel something for them . so i thnk it really helps to understand the other persons mind whn u try and iimagine urslf in their shoes.
the other thing was has he actually let u in on the important thngs in his life? does he want u to know the real him? like his dreams, aspirations, the things he really cares abt etc. i thot about thngs and realised no not really. and well neither have i. but atlst i have shared few things. he has never done that. he finds it diff to share personal stuff his thots. he is alwys well mannered alwys diplomatic. not a single word out of place. its like talking to a robot who was programmed to alwys say the rt thngs or stay quiet when thngs were negative. i kept telling him rt till the end. this is ur old frnd dee. u can chick ur diplomacy and say thngs as they stand in ur mind. forget being proper. but he never did that.
if a person cmes forth and expresses that he loves me, i wld never stay silent. i may not love him bac but i wld alwys say something nice and let him down gently. i thnk staying silent when someone is professing their love for u, is downrt disrespectful. its like u just dont give a shit. comeon hw hard it is to say i do like u but am afraid i am not in love with you. and that i thnk of u as a gud frnd??? why cant he do that i wondr? its nt so difficult.
i expected him to go in the silent zone when i shared my felings wid him and he did. i dnt thnk he will revert. and he didnt. its ok. i was prepared for it. one of the reasons i did what i did was also bec i was ready to either take 2 steps ahead in my frndship wid him or go my own way. and ur rt shirl. i did what i cld and so no regrets . m doing ok. :-). just that i smtms thnk of him but those are fleeting thots.
i hope u and beynder hve success in ur relatnship wid the aqua. i read ur link shirl and she says more of the same stuff..:-).
Just venting right now
I’m annoyed
Cause I’ve noticed especially in the past 2 Months or so that: 9 out of 10 times if I message him first he does not get back to me for a few days………..yet, if he messages me first and I answer him right away he answers me again right away.
All is well besides that
Rant done!
Question for you ladies.
Does your Aqua guy bite his nails? I have been talking to a few ladies who are with an Aqua guy and they all chew there nails, I wondered if it was an Aqua trait?
I don’t think it’s just an aqua trait however, I have caught him doing so every now and then lol
How have you been NeedAqua?
I am doing fine, still pulling my hair out with Mr Aqua haha. It will be 4 years on the 20th. Not sure how I have done it but he is fab. A lot better than he used to be. I don’t let him get to me anymore, I just do my own thing and always let him come to me. It works well that way and I get to see him more. If I ask then I would be waiting forever. He thinks he is in charge (but I know better) and I let him think it.
How’s things with your man? Did you have your date on the 5th?
no no, we had to postpone it was a rainy ugly day.
But we still have to make up for it. Just gotta figure out when/where!
We’re about to make 2 years on the 31st of this Month.
Would I be crazy for hoping we can make it to 3 years?
Being in this roller coaster of a ride he puts me on without really trying? hmmmm
How long is it since you have seen him?
I just saw him on Wed, why?
Just wondered how often you saw him!
Oh ok
Well call me ocd or coo coo but I always mark in my Calendar when I see him. And on average I see him at least twice a Month, like every other week. On a good Month I’d say 3plus. But on a bad Month just once o.O
lol
Not that often then? They are always too busy aren’t they. Do you wish you could see him more often or are you happy with how things are?
I wouldn’t mind seeing him once maybe even twice a week. I can even handle seeing him just twice a Month however, it’s the not hearing from him for a week or more that urks the heck out of me. I love my space don’t get me wrong but it Makes me think: If you cared/loved me as much as I thought/felt then why do you do that?
another thing: I’d rather go a whole Month without seeing him as long as I am in constant communication with him rather then to hear from him once every other week/or weekly only when he wants to see me!
Makes me sound like a convenience doesn’t it?
Beyonder, you are not a convenience store,if he stuck around this long, it has to mean something. I used to think that too, but no more, he is always back like a boomerang. I let him his do his thing and me mine. @ Dee. Read your last post, if he is not replying to you, it is because he does not know how to respond to raw emotions. No doubt he will pop up again as if nothing happened but you may need time. Don’t expect him tho’ to make any reference to yr declaration @ need aqua help, wow, four years. Tell us your secret. Here is a question for you. Do you often find that he avoids answering the simplest of questions, just innocent, getting to know you ones, I always think that I am putting him in the interrogation room without an exit and then I get the deer caught in the headlamps look. Was only asking. Lol.
Yes he does avoid answering questions if it’s via phone or text. More often than not I get a maybe, might do or a could be. But if I am face to face with him he does answer most of the time. If he thinks I’m sticking my nose into his business, I get a very blunt reply though.
My secret….not sure I would call it that as we have been through some massive ups and downs…..I don’t let him get to me, I don’t contact him first, I don’t always say yes to seeing him when he asks. I sometimes don’t reply to his texts, that drives him nuts. I just try to be more like him, if he ignores, I ignore. If he is in a great mood then I am happy and fun etc….But if he’s in one of his time out moods I just let him be. When he comes back, he’s the one questioning me, where I have been and who with. I just say I’ve been busy, life goes on ya know and whats more it’s pretty good. At long last (and it took a while) I know how to stand up to him, but I make it seem like it was his idea. If you know what I mean.
It’s a bit like I was with my kids when they were young haha…Like saying “bet you can’t do that” guess what, just to prove me wrong he does the thing I say he can’t do. It’s so funny and he still hasn’t worked out what I’m doing. All he knows is that I have changed and he seems to respect it. Now when he comes out saying total rubbish (like they all seem to do at times usually when they start having feelings for you) I just tell him straight out……YOUR BEING A K*OB. He now says…well we both knew that ages ago haha.
It’s quite fun when you get the hang of them and don’t let them get to you. The more they see you are trying to hang on, the more they seem to want to run.
Back in the begining, I was the one doing the contacting, pulling my hair out when he didn’t reply, or when we had plans and he backed out last minute. He seemed to get off on upsetting me, truth is it was an ego boost for him and the more I tried the worse he was. With a lot of reading about these men I decided to change, to wise up and stop being the pushover I had become. I see him and hear from him a lot more now as he knows I’m not sat waiting to hear from him. He knows (or thinks) I can take him or leave him. He is fun sexy and has a heart of gold really, but I had to treat him a bit mean to make him keen.
Need Aqua Help,
Hi,
So glad to read that after all this time things have worked out for you and your partner. You hung in there when times were very hard and I know aquarius men appreciate such things.
Be happy, take care.
Lots of Love
Annie.
Thank you Annie
I never hold my breath as I know it could all change again tomorrow. So far so good though, it took me so long to understand him and the way he works but I think I got there in the end.
You never say anything about your man! Do you have a perfect relationship with him? Do you ever have the problems all the rest of us ladies have with your Aqua? going missing, ignoring you etc….
Need Aqua Help,
No relationship is perfect as you know but I am very much in love with him. I am very demanding and need constant contact. I have an idea in my head what a good relationship is. I am worth that, I expect him to work towards that and me too. I will give my best and expect him to also. No, certainly no ignoring or going missing, Each one of us is different and so is our tolerance. I expect to be treated well if I am in a relationship and if he can’t come up with that that’s fine I won’t hang around. Neither would he because I would argue with him day and night and I certainly don’t want that…….. It just wouldn’t meet my expectations so there would be no point. Basically I want all or nothing don’t give me crummy.
I like a man who I can admire and look up to in every way…I am hard to please…..BUT i THINK i AM WORTH IT. In a relationship it isn’t perfect because we are not but I think you both should be working toward pleasing each other, trying to make each other happy constantly..that is what I believe. Yes I believe he does his best and I am happy with that.
Somethings I find very disrespectful I am big into respect. I have my rules and I will bend a little but can’t get away from the fact that if it is a “RELATIONSHIP” we are giving it our best. So impress me baby.
Hope this answered your question.x
With Love
Annie.
Good for you, I should have been more like that a long time ago. And your right you do have to stand up to them and they like it that way. As long as they don’t think you are nagging a them. Do you live with him?
hey guys..i checked in here after a long time. and he dint get in tch wid me. i last talkd to him on June 26. so its almost been a month. I have been q ok. maybe bec when i last interacted wid him i was candid abt my feelings and kinda knew this is it. after i say how i feel he will nvr connect. and he didnt! i hv been out on dates since but no spark wid any1. i have been ok mostly but ystrdy i duno i cldnt stop thinking abt him. felt so desperate. and well i wondered if maybe i shld hv handled thngs differently? i duno.. he is still on my whats app list and i know i am still on his. if he had deleted my no from his fone or blocked me, i wld have known. it really took a lot of mental constraint for me to get over yesteray. no i didnt connect just penned down few pathetic poems on my blog..:-).
wierd thing is i know v well (and i say this wid absolutely no doubt in my mind) if i say hello he will chat to me for hours and wl actually b happy to hear from me. but thats not really going to help my cause is it? nt in the long run. i think its v easy to be rational and logical when u sit in the objective chair about just why these men are not good for u. but the min u let ur emotional side take over, its a downfall.. sigh. i wont connect with him.
how are thngs wid u guys?? shirl? need aqua men and beynder?
Hi Dee
I know how that feels! You want them and you think they don’t want you and the thinking over and over about them is mind blowing. I think if he is anything like mine has been in the past…he will contact again, it might take some time though! At least another month. If he hasn’t deleted you he hasn’t fallen out with you. You have given him things to think about and as you know they take a long time thinking. Hang in there and wait to see if he contacts you, I’m sure he will. Best you don’t contact him though as you will never know if he is just being polite or if he really likes you. Don’t you just hate the waiting game? I know I do.
It’s need Aqua Help by the way haha not need Aqua men
thanx for writing in. this page feels like therapy. i mean at least u guys have had more interaction and met him more often.. i haven’t. yet its really strange to feel the way i do. its like i didnt have much yet am going through so much turmoil. my frnds tell me m an *** and cant undertsand my fixation. what do i tell thm? even i dont!!!!.
we met few tms in 2012 u know and then it just went phut after few mnths..In 2012 also he disappeared after amazing connect. then he got in touch again. when i asked he said i thot u were prob needy so i backed off. but then i realised ur not so i got in touch again. but since thngs just dint move i thot its prob just one sided and we lost touch.
i had this crazy dream abt him this year after such a long time. and so i thot i shld connect. so i did. he was delighted to hear from me and we chatted for hours. but didnt meet. we live in difrnt cities. he told me he is stl single. i just dnt get it. he till the last day maintained he likes me otherwise he wldnt bother reponding. he says dee its def not one sided. he remembers more details of our passionate times together then i do! every little detail.
so why the heck nothing happened????ur standing on the same spot for ages. its so frustrating. i am being a total wimp here maybe but i just dnt get it.i will rave and rant for few days and then subside i supose.
my gud frnd who advised me to get practical and let go had said. baby he probably likes u but just not enough. and u gota accept that. he knows u r emotional abt him and so he isnt making any first moves. if u want to try and get onto the next level u have to go to him and meet. he will not come to u. and there is no guarantee that he will feel any way difrnt aftr u seduce him. but u can try and take a chance. u anywys cant feel any worse then u do now. he said ur in a fantasy relationship and hurting but ur nt even geting any..lol. get real. what the heck? just go and do it.
starngely even my other gud frnd, (both guys) yestrdy told me just go and do it. life is too short. dnt sit on ur a**e and mull over. just go to him and try it. u hv nothing to lose. hes like into meditation and zen and stuff like that.
Need qua men/help…:p… sorry. tht was funny. i read ystrdy most of ur posts. I see even you had some kinda break from ur aqua and then got back again. it is so diff to not think abt them isnt it?
atlst u, shirl and beynder have on and off relationships..i seem to be having just a fancy relationship. yet i get so affected. wonder y.
Oh yes we split up for some time, I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I left him alone and he was the one texting and phoning, I ignored. After a while we met back up and here we are now.
Sleeping with him won’t change the way he is. He is like that with everyone! Or at least they seem to be from what I have read and what mine has told me. You might end up feeling bad and nothing much has changed.
The way mine tried to explain to me, they zone out when they have one thing on there minds. It’s like…say yours had an activity that he really enjoyed but wasn’t that good at. He would think of NOTHING else until he had mastered that one thing. They try and try until they can perfect something…mean time you are left not knowing what happened to them. They don’t get in touch, they ignore your communication, they as good as cut you off and we don’t understand what’s going on. Mine said he doesn’t mean to do it, it’s just that they don’t/can’t think of anything else at that time. Then ex amount of time goes by and they don’t even know how long the time has been that they haven’t seen you/contacted you.
That’s why most of these men have never married or have huge gaps without a relationship. Women don’t have to put up with things like that, they can stand alone and do just fine, so they leave them and they don’t understand what happened.
They are selfish and spoilt really it’s either there way or no way most of the time, but they all seem to be the same. They get around to you when they can, what an insult that is unless you let them know in some way that you won’t put up with the BS a second longer.
One thing I just thought of and might be worth trying….IF you contact him and he starts getting a bit “fresh” about you and him. Tell him…no point talking like that if it’s not going to happen. I did that and still do from time to time about things. They can be all talk and no action. That’s how come plans get broken and they don’t seem to be able to step up.
actually slping with him was not suggested with the idea of geting him more interested or as a ploy to ensnare him but more wid the idea of dee just get that out of d day and maybe u wl be able to get him out of ur mind as well..:-). lol.
some of the things u say are soooo bloody familiar!! but hw can that be?
That was what my aqua also told me. i zone out when m stuck in new deals or whn m amidst wrk. so at such times pls dnt get hassled and just let it be. i never want u to feel bad abt that. just understand. his way of communicating that hes busy is to go silent and nt respond. but he refuses to say dee m busy later.. he refuses to say busy…no matr how many times i hv said that..
yes ur rt. its annoying waiting always to communicate whn its convenient for him. thats wht i observed as well. but he says he alwys responds whnever i message except when hes tied up. well whnever i hv msgd him v late nite he has alwys responded promptyly. or nxt morning.
goddd. all talk no action..thats happend so many times. ofcrse i reached a point when i stoppd geting excited bec i kinda knew its nvr gona get translated into action. funny thing was i stoppd talking abt it but he started. he went into the minutest of details of the little time we spent together. thats when i realised that a man dsnt remember so many details abt incidents which took ages bac unless he felt some chemistry.
i dont know hw to get bac on track with him. really i dont. plus how do i get in touch again after professing my feelings last time and saying gud bye without losing face?? he wl never take me seriously. :(.. and i will lose all respect. i really can see no way bac to him.. and i hv my reservatns abt him connecting. m stuck.
m silly actually. i keep telling ppl no matr wht happens do not send closure msgs. close it in ur mind if u want to. nvr formally. also leave thngs in abeyance. never obviously shut doors. yt i went ahead and did the same mistake. :(. i felt q ok for so long. now as if a bug as got into me and its niggling away. urgggghhh. so annoying. cnt stop thnking abt stuff.
wrote thiis post to tell ppl here no matr what DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT SEND CLOSURE MAILS/MSGS. Avoid that. close issues in yr head. never formally.
I wil try and hold on for few days and hopefully this urge to reconnect will pass.
If you can try your best to let him contact first. The “L” word will have sent him into a tail spin and will need time to think on it. You sound like you get along really well when chatting with him and yes your right why else would he remember the things he does if he didn’t think anything of you? They bring things up that you had a conversation about ages ago because they like you to be shocked/pleased they remembered, when we think they weren’t even really listening. He wouldn’t do any of that if he didn’t like you, there wouldn’t be any point. They don’t like to make things easy do they? I don’t know how they have any friends at all with the way they are. Mine told me he doesn’t contact anyone first….not friends or family, he also says he can go for days where he stays home alone in the evenings and not answer his phone to anyone. He is getting a bit better but it’s not easy when your on the receiving end of it.
I have done the goodbye note to mine more than once so don’t worry too much about that!! I bet at some point all of us ladies on here have said bye to them, They bring out the crazy in us haha. We get hurt, angry and frustrated with them and think…I can’t be bleeped with this and tell them things we regret later. The things mine has told me in the past haven’t been nice at all. Like…I love you one day and the next either ignoring me or telling me we are only friends, then going missing for a few weeks, then back he comes as if all is well and he was only gone a few hours. I thought I was going mad with all his rubbish until I started reading up on Aquas. It helped me so much, otherwise I would have walked and stayed gon years ago.
well my aqua hs told me he mostly nevr initiates communicatns wid frnds. he lets them get in touch!!! me too can’t understnd. hw he manages to have frnds. but he has a few. and the fact that hes v successful in his business cld make thngs easier i supose. but when he talks to u, u cant deny that he is charming and well informed. alwys polite and never disrespectful. its like two men…
he has nvr told me he loves me but alwys maintained he really likes me. and when i asked do u feel that there is something btwn us like i do or is it just on my side? he said no whatever btwn us is not one sided at all. yet nothing happens. 😦 and when u thnk u have actually discussed thngs which have got u closer he does a disappearing act! thats widout fail.
god so complicated. just when thngs were begining to look up and he had strted oopening up a litl more, i had to lash out in imaptience. I have bought a house in the city where he lives and so i keep going there for stuff . I had asked him shall i connect with u when m there next, he said pls do. he just stays 20 mins away and wld be grt to meet up. even the night before i lost it, he clicked his selfies and sent them to me while he was out wid his fnds aftr work for a drnk at my request. he does that as well. whenevr m out and he msgs, he gen asks me to send my pics.
u guys are so confident about they geting in touch with you. but thats bec u have crossed the initial hurdles and are lovers. i havent yet crossed that one. so u see there is nothing really btwn us. which makes me dobt v much if he wld connect first. this one luks screwed from all angles.
How soon will you be over where he lives? Wait until then and send him a casual text about meeting for a drink. Don’t talk feelings with him.They hate being put on the spot…confrontation or feelings, they can’t deal with it..that’s why they run, it has to be his idea to take things further. Just be cool, have a laugh and leave the rest up to him. If you leave it a while longer to contact I’m sure he will reply, just forget about the things you said to him…act like it never happened. When you move things might just start picking up, then you will really know how he feels. If he still has your details, then it’s not over, just try not to seem like you want any kind of commitment from him.
Not easy I know…I have had to back off and play cool lots of times, but that’s when they get back to you. As the saying goes…Leave him alone and he’ll come home wagging his tail behind him. Frustration.com I know all too well, but they are worth it when you get to the real him : )
Go onto ruthnineke.com website she has lots to say about Aquarius. I found it helpful and read it even now if I’m having problems.
thank you so much for ur feedbac. o my god i read one of the articles on that blog abt loving aquarius and i prob did so many thngs which she said u shld nt. and abt committment i think in the begining i did push. and talkd abt future and stuff. i thnk what he dreads most is committment and more than that, is geting attached to a woman who is clingy or needy who threatens his personal space and movement.
one of the last times we spoke he asked me y inspite of us having such grt chemistry, why didnt u let me close? if u know what i mean. I said bec i dont want to be one of ur f**k and forget women. hes big on FWB kind of arrangements bec it has worked v well in the past for him. And i alway told him hw u manage to get women when u offer them so little, is a mystery. anywys strangely he said ur different and not like one of those. when i asked what that meant he said ur way smarter than any of those women so u cant be eaily forgotten. yet he does nothing to take thngs forward. lol.. what do u make of that?
I can get bac in tch with him. its as simple as sending him forwards on whats app and i may get back on track with him. he alwys told me mny times pls keep sending me forwards bec he njys reading them and i send really smart ones. yes i can go down to his city bec i do have to make few trips there for my work. the only thing being i feel a little silly geting in touch after all that i love u talk and gudbye talk. hehe. can u imagine? i had said i love u but i now relaize you prob wld never evr let me in. i wl look so stupid if i get in tch after that. he has alwys responded to me in the past no matr what, wht if he fails to reply?? i will dbly stupid..lolol. god the thot is cringeworthy..
if only i cld just run into him accidently..:-(( ,
The blog is really good isn’t it? She says it as it is and I have to say she’s soooo right. That’s how I am now with mine, if it doesn’t come from him then it doesn’t happen. When your waiting it seems like a lifetime, but it’s worth it because they really do respect you more for waiting and not bothering them with things they don’t know how to talk about (feelings).
Isn’t it possible you could bump into him when you are over their? Do you know the places he goes to, or maybe just out shopping in the town?
Do nothing as yet and really think what the best move is! What ever you decide to do…just act like a friend and don’t bring up your feelings or ask him about his. He will be gone again. If I asked mine about US in the past…he would answer me, then go home, then I would hear nothing from him for anything up to 2 months. I have never known a relationship like it but I love him til his pips squeek haha (but I don’t tell him that unless he tels me first). That’s not often either but I do know how he feels it’s in his eyes. The eyes NEVER lie.
Hey needaquahelp
I tried to go to that link you gave but I see nothing about aquarius. Under which tab should I look for it?
The paragraph on the page that I saw starts with: (In the fall of 2011 twenty-three year old Caitlyn Gregory is a promising Junior Placement Strategist with a leading career placement firm in lower Manhattan. )
Nevermind had to google it:
http://ruthnineke.com/2013/04/loving-aquarius/
thanx need aqua help.. u really helped me u know. i was feeling a litl low and sad. u managed to prep me up. i won’t just connect like that. will give it a thot before i do. dnt have much clue where he parties.. i am hoping this is just a phase and I will snap out of this thng of reconnecting. wierdly even thou u dnt interact for ages that feeling still feels raw
my biggest fear is what if he feels nothing and its all just in my head, u know? or if he likes me but just not enuf? bec if u keep the aqua characteristics aside and dnt factor that in, such behaviour pattern suggests lack of real interest.
one of my buddies is going to his city next wknd and asked me if i want to join? he said i wld spnd the wknd wid my frnds and u can spnd ur wknd wid ur aqua..he said dnt thnk too much just go and do it. push the enveope. just dnt talk abt committment. give in to what u feel widout thinking or analysing. m so tempted u know. but me being a leo its diff to forget ur ego. aftr last time hw do i just go back??
You can’t keep the Aqua caraterisitcs out of it, because he is one, and that’s how they are! They don’t know how to be anything other than how they are. Truth is you will never know just by looking at him etc…but you do know when you get to know him. Go on what you gut is telling you, do you think he told you the truth about liking you? If so then work on that, trust what he said is true and try to build on that. They don’t do relationships, as I have been told before they commit without commitment. It just happens without them “having the talk” you find they contact more, they want to see you more. And it’s them coming to you without you having to contact first or worry why you haven’t heard from them. It takes a long time but when it happens it’s huge. If he knows you are waiting for him/thinking too much about him or if he thinks you are a push over he will take even longer. It’s awfull but worth it in the end.
I don’t mean to make it sound like I have the upper hand or like I have it all figured out bc I don’t.
But I think I am a lot more like him than I thought. BC in the very beginning when I wasn’t use to his distance and lack of communication it hurt and confused the hell outta me. I hated it. Still do at times. Especially during those weak emotional moments of mine.
I love my space. As does he. I don’t spill my guts unless I feel I can do it safely. It would seem I’ve been on the money with writing to him and letting him read instead of blurting things out to him. I have a way of expressing myself through my writing that seems to give me the upper hand.
I don’t know Dee but if you feel in your Gut and your Heart that there is more to it than meets the eye then maybe, just maybe it’s worth having more patience for? I know the ride to catching up with them/them catching up to/with us is hectic and crazy and you feel like giving up at times. But sometimes I feel that if you hang on long enough that the journey to the end will be well worth it. Through all the hoops, loops, jumps and bumps that eventually his road will coincide with yours and the ride will be more smooth. Given you have the patience to wait it out.
That’s my hope. And my analogy on this relationship.
Holding on during the whole ride hoping that eventually it will be well worth it.
Which one you told me not too long ago? : Nothing worth having should come easy?
thank you both u guys..read what u think twice. u basically want me to trust what i feel what my instincts tell me. i know if he’s told me he really likes me then he does. he wld nevr say otherwise. he dsnt like saying negative stuff to ppl which cld hurt them, instead he stays quiet. he doesnt have to say he likes me if he doesnt. if he didnt he wld just stay quiet.
with all the women he has had flings wid, he told me that he alwys makes it v clear rt from the start that this is as far as it goes. With me he has never given that indication. and at times in the past when i have been at my worst and inscure best and frustrated with his behaviour on few occasions i had told him. “y behave like an arse. why cant u just say dee get lost instead of playing hot and cold games and expecting me to interpret ur silence”. either he didnt answr me or when he did it was to tell me he will nvr tell me to get lost bec he likes me .
Its so confusing bec i get sucked in with the way i feel each time. i come here and realize wht this guy does is gen hw most aqua men behave. so i feel not so flustered. then when i sit in the real world and nteract wid my frnds and tell them stuff and hw crazy i feel abt my aqua. they just ask me basic stuff and tell me stop torturing urself. cant u see his behaviur just shows he likes u and is attrcted to u, but hes not that into u. or he wldnt behave the way he does. so then i again sit on my objective chair and view his actions from a distance and thnk m i being the worlds biggest idiot?? m i using his being an aquarian just as an excuse bec i am too weak to walk away?
I am v busy with work for the next 3/4 days. so i will try and focus on that and less on my aqua. u know i hope each morning i get up and have a clear ans rt in front of me. but then life dsnt play so easy.
how is ur romance going on? tell me about ur lives .romance. .enuf of my boring troubles. lets give my crap a litl break here. 🙂
Well
He and I made 2 years yesterday and today makes 8 days since I last seen/heard from him. I should be use to it by now shouldn’t I? I mean shouldn’t ‘we’?
It’s like so many other times he has done this. I think this is why he doesn’t wanna have ‘the talk’ about making this a ‘serious relationship’. Because with that comes responsibility and I don’t think he’s ready since he’s putting himself first. In regards to career/education.
He recently told me he was trying to lose weight. I can see why. His gut was growing tho I don’t care. He’s always been a sort of big guy and I’ve always been a Big Woman. I appreciate that he accepts me for me. I’m still a work in progress myself so….with that said: I hope patience truly does pay off!
hey guys.. i got a frndship msg from my aqua today.. and no i stayed away and didnt connect with him this time.. Not since the last time which was in the last week of june sometime when i confessed my feelings to him. and he chose to stay silent.
its just an impersnal frndship msg saying “true frnds are alwys there for each other, frnds forevr”. i didnt reply. i duno maybe i shld just ignore? wht do u thnk?
yeah beyndr i hope u guys make it. u r prob the most patient amngst us all.
Happy frndship day to all you guys here. u all hv been a grt help on this emotional roller coaster journey..:-)
It’s not just patience. It’s being tolerant of b.s.
Almost 2 weeks without so much as a hi.
Why do I tolerate his shenanigans?
Why do I sit here hoping he gets back to me.
Like he’s my lost puppy that I miss.
Our aqua relationships are NOT normal by any means.
But having a little normalcy is not so bad.
For crying out loud dude.
How do you go more than a few days without communicating? Don’t you know how that looks?
Don’t you think about how you’re making us feel?
WTH?
I know YOUR WORLD does not revolve around US
But show some dang respect.
See that’s the main thing they lack respect in
Communicating like any normal couple.
But we ALL should be use to it right?
I’m just fed up by now.
Maybe, just maybe he will never take the rel. seriously because it shows with the fact that he doesn’t tell any one about me.
I’m tired Ladies
Just tired.
No abuse.
Just this HUGE lack of communication. And not because I’m clingy but for crying out loud. Grown the F up already!!!!!!!!!!
i thnk beynder wht u go thru is exactly what most of us have gone thru. when i had that outburst in june, i was actually on gud terms with him. more progress. but i duno i got so fed up. it was like hey u feel so much and u get so fed of constantly walking arnd u on tip toes ensuring u dnt disturb. keep ur feelings hidden alwys.
normally what used to happen ws whn he got in touch after ages i wld start talking normally politely and be friendly. i wld initiate talks when i heard from him. and he wld be glad to talk to me or atlst appear that way to me that we wld talk for hours. and then the same wld happen. its a cycle.
this time i just sent him a similar impersonal msg as well widout any hey or hello or long time, hws u. didnt try to initiate any conversation. no idea if he wl get in touch or nt. but m not waiting for him. i was surprised to hear frm him today actually. u guys felt he wld revrt in some way. and he did. but this time i am not jumping rite bac in. unless they mentally give in a litl, let themselves in this relationship, give it a chance this is how it will play out i feel. i just cant keep doing it over and over. it screws my mind completely.
yes how u do it beynder? but as they say once hes ready to step in and accept relatnships thngs change. but u wndr when tht wld happen?
I am giving him ultimatums. Soon, that’s for sure. I deserve better.
And I don’t mean financially. I could care less about that.
But the one true thing that makes a rel work is communication.
Which costs nothing.
Now that he’s on his vacation still he should be trying to see me a couple times a week but noooooo.
Doesn’t help that my Monthly friend is here right now too o.O
How do I do it? hmmm
maybe I’m delusional??????
arent we all here delusional kinda?? its like they live their lives and get in tch wid us inbtween when they thnk of us. v r just a small part.of their lives and what we do is make them our lives.
ultimatums dont work. not sure what else u can do. i didnt give any ultimatum, just told him that i love him but i dnt thnk he wl nvr let me in. so its gdbye. and after tht i dint get in tch. i stood firm on that no matr how much i wntd to get in tch at tms. so if u issue ultimatums u need to ensure u hv the strength to not go bac and stick to wht u said, but if u dnt feel ready to walk away thn no ultimatums.
beyndr his excuse erlier was hes busy wid assignments his studies and college. but whats his excuse now? why isnt he geting in touch? doesnt he want to? dsnt he feel like? as i said erlier he is ok with you being a small part of his life. but u not comfy wid that. whats the ans? i duno
honestly my first reaction this morning was hurray.. he got in touch. aftr 45 days but then after few moments i realized it was such an impersonal msg and i wld be silly to fall bac into the same trap. so i decided to stay away and give thngs a chance only when he takes few positive steps, erlier i wld just jump at any chance he gave me u know kinda grasp at straws. now i know i want more and if i keep giving in nthing wl change. so no point.
It’s about knowing that he cares enough to try and make it work.
I know that with his studies he is devoted. And just like a job you have to stay committed.
But if he can’t give me a quarter of the time he can give to those things then what are we together for? If not for love or companionship?
What are we seeing each other bi-weekly for? Sex?
Come on now he and I had this conversation. We knew it’s not what we both wanted but it looks like our rel. has reverted to that. I’m the one who tries sometimes but what’s got your ass so tied up you can’t even communicate? I don’t understand how you can’t call me from your gd home phone? Dial *67 b4 dialing my number so I don’t see the number ur calling me from. What’s so hard about that? let your gf know you’re thinking about her wth is wrong? Is it me or is it him? I’m just so fed up it’s not funny. I’ve been too patient and too nice. Biting my tongue all the gd time and no more. Time to put my foot down and if he can’t deal with it oh well. His loss!
umm.. well v hvn’t slpt together yet. he knows i m nt the FWB type and dont want that.. i duno really thnk at this point if we will evr get beynd this. m dbtful bec i hv made up my mind this time that i wont do the running. and hes nt the type to chase or initiate conversatns so its a non starter unless he surprises me. i didnt bother to initiate a convo when he sent me a msg this morning. so there was no interaction. sigh.
i thnk instead of issuing ultimatums or arguing u shld just show ur anger by not bothering much when he gets in touch, act cold but polite. if u bring up the same topic to discuss he will just switch off mentally bec hes heard u say the same thng so many times. as i said if u issue ultimatums then ensure u have the strength to walk away if he dsnt do wht u want. if u ask me its a waste of time in the sens u may nt get what u want…
That’s the chance I’ll have to take. AFter all…… aren’t rel.s about compromise? Give and take, 50/50 not give and give and 90/10?
yes..but urs anywys hasn’t been a balanced relationship so far. i supose thats the way it has been for many women who have posted comments here. in my case i am not sure if i can call wht i have wid my aqua a relationship. thats like giving it too much credit. i wld term it as a weird frndship.
does he acknowledge u as his gf? maybe not to his family but his frnds? do u guys hang out wid frnds together? bec u in ur mind thnk of urslf as his gf. does he thnk of u as his gf in his head? or just as a close frnd wid whom he smtms slps together? theres a difference u know. my aqua had many such frnds in the past. he likes them slps wid them but clearly says they r not his gf and will nvr be. so u need to clear ur relation wid ur aqua in ur head. i thnk thats imp.
i still feel ultimatum is not the rt answer. and more discussions on the same thng? will that help u? luk in my case i was/am totally ready to cut off and go on. are u?
Beyonder if you try to tell him what to do or how to be with you…he will do the opposite. If you don’t want him to go missing for months or for good don’t issue an ultimatum. I would do as Dee says and wait for him to contact and be a bit cool with him when he does. It’s so frustrating when they do things like yours is doing but the best way to get them to notice is to pull away yourself. I bet he knows you will be climbing the walls by now and they do get a kick out of it. Don’t give him the satisfaction.
Dee did you reply to your Aqua or just leave it alone?
Well I sent him an email to ask if his phone was working and he said it was cut off for this Month.
I asked how much he needed to cut it back on. I didn’t say I’d pay but if he says 40 I will pay that for him.
Am I crazy? Yup. Do I care? nope!
@beyonder.. i think u r doing it again. he dint connect with you, u did by an email after 2 weeks. if he can go by widout connecting wid u, y can’t u? he replied to ur mail which means he had access to internet at least. so why didnt he make plans wid u or tell u he cant get in tch bec his phone is off again??
just like need aqua help suggested in her earleir mails to me try and change the dynamics of the relationship. till u show u can very well do widout him, thngs may nvr change. i really think u jump the gun many times which really doesnt help u in the long run. u wre showing erlier so much anger and aggression and frustration and defiance but then again u just meekly went and sent an email showing ur neediness and not just that but also being ready to pay for his bills.
I maybe am being harsh here but u need to see what u dnt want to see. u look for the smallest of excuses to let him back in each time widout really looking at the bigger stuff. i wish u hadn’t sent that email..u cldn’t connect wid him on phone so u sent an email. why cldnt he do that??? y dnt u let him do that???? dnt jump the gun each time.
i will tell u abt an affair i had in the past. i got close to sm1 a decade yngr despite misgivings. we were grt together initially but as time went by our insecurities started showing. I earned more thn him and i felt he may start straying. it dint work out but i learnt sm valuable lessons from it. though we were gud together he never introduced me to his frnds nr his family. i forcilbly joined him on one of his outings wid his frnds and it was a disaster. he was so awkward and wldnt even hold hands throughout the trip. we soon broke up. if he really likes u and wants to be with u, he wld b proud to show u off as his gf. he just dint want to acknowledge me publicly as his gf.
i thnk beynder u shld thnk abt the overall thngs. he dsnt get in tch for weeks. he dsnt tell any of his frnds that hes involved wid u. he is reluctant to call u frm his house so that u dnt get to know his home no. i think the writings on the wall but ur not seeing it. and worst is ur not doing anythng to try and change the dynamics in the relationship. its been 2 years and its still the same. do somethng. try and change the dynamics. get some power in this relationship. U obviously dnt want to break off. so talking abt empty ultimatums dont make sense. bec u wl let him in the min he gives u the slightest excuse. i think u need to take up some work or courses in terms of future. shift ur lifes focus from ur aqua and thnk abt ur professional future..
@Need aqua help.. yes i did get in touch. but i have alrdy mentioned. in my above posts. i sent him an impersonal msg as well after few hrs something similar to what he sent. but dint try to talk nor initiate any convo. earlier i used to say hey wid some flippant remark/joke. and he wld take the cue and begin to chat. this time i didnt give him any bait and hence there was no conversation. thats ok. i dnt want to fall in the same trap again. so i wont bother unless he does thngs first. if he doesnt thats his choice. i wl just not bother in that case. i will give only what i get.
I don’t care I am just done with him.
I’m not your play thing, go find your next toy!
Beyonder he has you right where he want’s you without having to try. Dee is right…if you don’t toughen up he will walk all over you and you will still have no happy end result. For years now everyone on here has told you……Don’t chase him let him come to you, but you never seem to listen to anyone. We don’t mean to be rude or harsh, it’s just the best thing to do and it works. Or at least you find out how much he thinks of you by letting him do the work. You always seem to back down and let him be however he wants to be with you. After two years things should be better than what you are saying they are. As for paying his bill, I thing that’s a jub for his mother to do not you. He will NEVER wise up if you don’t give him reason to.
oops there are two strong posts above. but really beynder u need to wake up and act tuff. what happened to ur talk of give and take 50/50? dnt let him treat u like a complete doormat. its his vacation. y dint he get in touch? he has all the time in the world. or maybe not. he may hav some genuine reasons for nt connecting but u will never know bec u didnt wait for him to get in touch. the min he said his fone was off, u jumped in at that chance ready to even pay his bills forgetting abt him nt geting in tch for last 2 weeks!! thats not really an excuse bec in todays world there r so many other way to connect if a persn wants to.
u r not giving him any chance to think abt u, miss u. u r not even trying to see whether he will make any special efforts to see u. I think if i do what u been doing, i wl also be in some sort of relationhip wid my aqua. but that wld be delusional. bec i know deep down if i stop interacting first, pretty soon our conversation wl trickle dwn to almost nothing. in the past 45 days i have been to his city 3 times but never once did i try to get in tch. infact i decided to rent out my place there so i will hv no more excuses to go there. a clean cut off from him.
When i was most tempted i came here to talk to u guys. it helped me stay focused. i dnt mind admitting that i tend to get emotional, weak and give in many times. but i was adamant that i will not give in this time. and m glad i didnt. makes u feel strong and as a result u feel more confident abt urslf. besides i confessed how i feel abt him and yet he chose to stay silent. i kept remembering this and reminding myslf and it just gave me strength not to fall down.
i now know he has given me a thot bec he got in tch after so many days but thats not enough! not any more. i need to see more. m not going to settle for crumbs any more. m sure he wld have been surprised by my response or lack thereof. all the times before this, i wld just jump in to grab any chance i got to reconnect. he knew it i supose so he played arnd wid me. he shld know i mean business. if he dsnt try harder then also its ok bec i will know for sure he just dint like me enuf.
need aqua help i like the fact that u finally put ur foot down and got the upper hand in ur relationship. while its still far frm perfect but atlst there has been some progresss..
I over the years have tried every trick in the book to get him to contact and see me more. The ONLY thing that worked was for me to back right off. I still don’t contact first and I leave it to him to make plans with me. I don’t always say yes when he asks to see me. It’s just being hard to get and they love it, it does take time to toughen up and have the guts to do it but when you do it starts to be fun. When they are the ones asking and you can’t see them cos you have other plans etc….It’s just showing them that you have a life and you will have to fit them in to your other plans. I see him a lot more often and hear from him around 4-5 times a week. That’s how it should be, them showing us how much they care, not us asking and asking them if they care. Back off and that’s the sure way to find out.
Beyonder Try it, you will then know for sure what is going on with him. At the end of the day what have you got to lose? Your not seeing him anyway so it’s got to be worth a try. He knows he’s got you no matter what (mine did too) so try to show him you have other things going on and let him wonder where you are for a change. The feeling is great and as Dee said you do feel in control. It’s not a game it’s asking for respect. I know you must be in pieces at the mo but don’t give in to him, be strong and stick to your guns. Remember he who cares the least controls the relationship.
Our hearts have to be covered with titanium to put up with their shi7
nice bit of advice need aqua help.. 🙂 thanx.. i realise that though m q keen abt him, there ws really no progress in our frndship. but to be honest whn i decided to cut off it was with the idea of breaking off totally. i just cant keep doing what i have been doing bec it really doesnt help and just makes me feel mind f**ked, insecure and nt so gud abt myslf.
I really dont know whether he will get in touch and start communicating with me again but its something that i need to accept and deal with. the constant chase or forcing him to talk to u, when he doesnt bother, obviously reeks of neediness. and constant explanations and endless discussions over the same topic doesnt make sense does it? they anyways know the issues we have told them enuf times. so whats the sense of lets have the “talk”??
m sure they will thnk “o no, not again” and simply switch off mentally. they anywys know that despite the talk if he doesnt bother to connect, u will. shrug. our mistake really for letting thngs slide to this level.
And i dont like the idea of saying goodbye with the intention that they will revrt and not with the genuine intention of letting it go. it may backfire. they may catch on and just not bother with you again. so where does that leave u?
And honestly beynder instead of acknowledging the things which need aqua help has pointed out, u talk abt the same stuff. stop acting like the victim and take charge. and therein lies ur problem.
why do u put up with his shit? why shld u put up wid his shit? who has asked u to? u talk of bravado but then again give in the min u thnk abt him. where is ur back bone? where is ur will? where is ur self love? where is ur self esteem?? honestly? from all the things that u have written in ur posts, it just comes across that he likes u but whether he likes u enuf??? we dont know. simply bec u havent let him or urself discover it. back off. from the posts i have read, most women here have finally taken up that “no contact thng” . for few it has worked and for many is hasnt. but its ok. u cant live in a bubble forever. somewhere sometime u need to face reality and move on. it will be painful yes. it will hurt u yes. but life doesnt start nor end wid one aqua not loving u back.
deal with the thot that he may actually not be part of ur life, may not want to be a part of ur life. deal with the thot that relationships cant work with goodbye threats each time something goes wrong. please stop acting like the victim constantly. ur not one unless u make urslef one! u alwys have the option to do what u want, remember that..
i really feel u shld start thinking abt ur future and what u want to do in life. dont u want to work? earn money? ur alrdy past 30..instead of constantly focussing on a man who doesnt even care all that much, why dnt u focus on that? have you thot abt ur career? what u wld like to do?? u keep saying money is not imp. he doesnt have any so he doesnt spend any. dont you want to be taken out to restaurants? wined and dined? treated like a queen who deserves special treats? dont u wana dress up, look sexy? go out to ntclubs and lounge? i do.
while i think love is imp, but i also like doing all these thngs. he is not even that bothered abt u and nor does he even take u out anywhere. or spend any money on u.. infact he seems to be reliant on others to pay his fone bills as well.. seriously beynder, comeon, what really are u geting from this relationship?? dont u feel u deserve betr? i m sorry for being so practical but i feel someone shld point out some hard real facts to you so u can get out of that self created bubble.
Me go out to night clubs and lounge? lol nope
Never been about that scene. Never cared for it. And it was never my thing. I’ve been too busy taking care of the people around me. Even when I was in my teens I never cared to go to clubs.
Grandma will be 95 this year. And I will be getting her a home attendant soon enough. about time too.
As far as my career is concerned I do know what I want to do.
But before I delve into that there’s other things I need to take care of.
Mind you
I don’t have the same priorities as you.
I tend to have an over-abundance of patience(trust me) You have to, to put up with them.
So if I’m feeling disappointed that he isn’t showing right by me(the communicating) then that’s how I’m feeling.
Maybe I have had hope for things to come.
But being that it’s (that time of the Month) emotions are bearing down on me.
Like you don’t get that way.
You hold on hoping things will get better and when they don’t go ur way you get emotional/pissed/heated whatever.
I already made up my mind.
And I am letting go of the idea of ‘Him and I’
When he notices I’m not answering him…we’ll see how ‘it’ goes.
Cause I’m truly done with him
What lesson am I learning?
He should walk the walk
not talk the good talk.
And the best way to avoid disappointment is not to expect anything from anyone.
Later
honestly? ur response didnt make sense to me. either u dont like going out to party or u were too tied up to be able to go. theres a difference u know. and by my post i didnt mean u shld start going to ntclubs or pubs or any such place where u dont like to go. i meant having the freedom to go out, do thngs that u like and not forever be thinking abt money or lack of it. it cld b a romantic dinner n wine at a nice restaurant or just a lounge where u can hv a quiet drnk and just listen to music talk and unwind.
ANd there u go again. all that philosophical talk when u need to get practical. u cm here and crib like we all do and seek others views since we cant quite crack the aqua code. we all here r trying to see if we can do that wid each others help. thngs r not going grt for many of us here . we seek opns to see if there is really anythng worth salvaging. and if not then to cut our losses short so to speak. and get going in life. my story has prob ended and m sad abt it. i dnt thnk my aqua wl come seeking me out. its tuff holding ground but i know i will. i dnt hv a choice. life goes on wid aqua in it or nt!
Please read wht ppl have posted above. who has asked u to break up? no1. ppl r just telling u to give him space and stop the chase. till u do that nthing will change. so far u hv just doled out empty goodbyes, threats of breakups and u run bac at the slightest excuse or when u cant stop thnking abt him. even if he ignores u for weeks.
u dont give him a chance to miss u to come and seek u. u dnt let him make the effort. u probably have this fear of him not connecting with u if u dont bother and so u jump the gun each time. till u conquer this fear u wl get nowhere. and at the end of the day, there is a possibility that he may not come looking for u. and u gota accept that and move on.
not to expect and nt to get disappointed?? comeon dnt get so heavy. its really q simple u know. if he really loves u he will stick with u. thats all there is to it. u cant force love. the need of the hour is to get a backbone, sm self respect, and start thinking straight, rational and practical. i thnk m geting too repititive and in a way beynder u set me an example of all the things that i shld nt be doing..
I have not told him goodbye. Have not sent him any more texts/emails. What I’m trying to say is: I’m done letting him rent space in my head that seems to control my heart. That’s all
lol
We’re not ‘broken up’ (were we ever really together?)
I come here to say what I’m thinking, feelings and about what I wanna tell him. Doesn’t mean I necessarily tell him all that. But if I did that is how it would go(in a rage).
I’m fine
We’ll be fine, moving right along.
Moodiness be gone :))
Came across this post on a blogging site.
Check it out. What do you all think?
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-Frustrated-With-Aquarius-Men/4273096
hey..not a word frm my aqua frnd. a msg last sunday aftr a mnth wishing frndship day but thts all.. m fine bt today a litl dwn. seems like i gota let this one go cause i dnt see him geting in tch again. :-(.
I’m sorry Dee that you’re feeling down about it.
It just sucks doesn’t it?
But trying to stay positive in ‘our world’ while we imagine what’s going on in ‘their Word’ sucks big time
I don’t know why but for some reason yesterday I decided to look up youtube vid’s about none other than aquarius and I was almost shocked to read comments from aqua guys themselves saying how: They get bored easily and they like to play games that as soon as they get a Woman/Girl hooked they stay away bc they like to watch or observe her feeling like she’s not worthy. I mean if this is how they all are then I’ll pass. Like they’re trying to pull at our heart strings. I know I know we need to beat them at their own game. But is it a game when you’re hurting in the end?
There’s this saying that if you tell the universe what you want/need that it will give it to you. Like the law of attraction. But it sure is hard trying to stay in positive thoughts when you have feelings for someone who doesn’t seem to give any damns about ya.
We are all old enough to know what we want/need and too grown to put up with such childish behavior.
I understand needing space but come on.
Give a Woman too much space and you open doors to other things.
I won’t go into that.
Let me see if i can find those videos and I will post it here:
Check the 3rd comment down. This is exactly what I’m talking about except he sounds like a teen
the more u read such stuff the more importance u feel u giving them. and the more deeper u get. i have stoppd going to these sites. i thnk i can do a phd now in their behaviour and get super grades.
i recently had 2 men geting in tch wid me aftr a year. i had shown no interest in them a year bac and they had slowly fizzled out seeing my disinterest. they msging u again was so irritating and i wndered cant they read my disinterest? isnt it obvious? all i felt was irritation at their attempts to reconnect and gen “hru” qstns and wht is new.. i wntd to ask do they even know whts old?lol.
Girl he wants to see me tomorrow…………
I postponed it.
Ladies I’m doing the opposite of what my heart says this time. I’m thinking with my head.
And Happy Belated Birthday Dee
I read in the email where you said you had a birthday but couldn’t click reply for some funny reason.
Stupid chrome browser
u shld now make him wait..lol. till nxt week. he ignored u for 3 weeks now u shld postpone ur meeting to next week. or some other time which u decide. that wld b ideal.
One of 2 things will happen. 1: I see him tmrw and act as if nothing is wrong or 2: I see him tmrw and have a talk with him.
Yes I know what you’re thinking, I’m stupid, weak. But He needs to know how I’m feeling. And I don’t mean lovey dovey shi7. I mean this whole going days sometimes weeks without so much as a hi. He has to know that Yes I enjoy my space and DO NOT want a Man who is clingy what so ever…….however. Give me too much space and I start to think/imagine even that you’re not only NOT Interested in me but that you’re seeing others.
I know he hasn’t made promises to me but if he wants to continue seeing me he has to up his communication ante or it’s gotta end. I care for him yes. He’s a gentle spirited, patient and respectful guy Yes. But that doesn’t make up for his lack of communication in regards to getting in touch, expressing himself and inability to show interest except for every other week.
I can’t deal.
And like I said b4, I can handle seeing him once a Month if that means hearing from him at least twice a week. But I can’t deal with hearing from him only every other week when he wants to see me. That’s when it feels like it’s just a booty call(obviously we enjoy each other this way way too much)
But we gave it another shot for a reason. And not to do the insanity thing!
So either it continues improved. Or it ends……..
I may not say it to his face but in writing I seem to be spot on in getting my points across, in a subtle not in your face type of way.
Update soon
whatever u said abv in ur post, u have alrdy told him and us 20 times. lol. the thing is u never try and change ur methods and use the same modus every time u face this. the min he talks abt meeting, u jump at the chance and fall in wid his plan forgetting ur long wait. thnk thats what need aqua help also told u. instead of the talk u shld not meet him at all tomorrow. postpone ur meeting to a day fixed by you after few days. u hv anywys nt seen him for ages, few more days wont kill u. u shld try what these guys hv suggested and see if that makes a difference. besides i thnk u shld avoid “the talk. u just end up looking too clingy, needy, weak and naggy. rest u know whts best.
what do u guys thnk? shirl? need aqua help?
What’s the point saying anything else to her….SHE WON’T LISTEN!!! She will meet him tomorrow, because he decided after weeks of no contact. He will get what he wants and be gone again. Nothing will change as she is too scared to back off, she thinks she will never see him again. What ever we say she won’t listen and will do her own thing. Then be back on here saying HE’S MISSING AGAIN. And here we go again. He is using her and she doesn’t see it, or at least back off to see if he cares that she didn’t reply to him. It’s her life and she can’t say we didn’t try to help her.
ur rite. u feel exasperated at her. but then again all u can do is give her ur views based on ur experience when she asks for advice. i am also wondering hw many emails has she written talking abt the same thing and hw many times shes had that talk in the past 2 years?? lol. m sorry i shldnt be laughing but beynder its funny in a way. u shld actually read all ur above posts especially those where u hv advised others. and u will realize u r doing the exact opposite of what u advice. anywys enuff abt her.
wht do u thnk i shld do? mine is gone i thnk unless i step in? atlst u guys had managed to build some kinda rapo before u stepped back and let him get more involved. there was sm foundation alrdy there. but in my case i am afraid there was no real base yet. i dont feel like giving up totally but then again i dnt know hw to rekindle thngs. damn. its a dead end. and when i thnk of my last gudbye msg i really dnt feel like i shld put myslf out there again by initiaiting any kinda talk. even if its a gen dialogue.
it was my b’day on sat and i cldnt help bt thnk abt him. i dbt he even remembers my dob. i was tempted to msg and tell him if u send me msgs abt being my true frnd d least u shld do is atlst remember my birthday!..i was tempted but no i didnt send anythng. how does it look from ur end? let this one go?? dmn
Happy Birthday to you!
He sent you that friends message because you said goodbye and he didn’t want you to, not that he would EVER admit that. It was maybe his was of saying he is still around. When you said goodbye he would have taken your word for it and would respect it. If I were you I would wait another week or so then send him a “hi” message, if he replies back on the quick side that means he is happy to hear from you. See what his reply is and take it from there. Keep it light though, don’t talk relationships, or where he has been ect….Just flirt a bit with him. Also keep him guessing about what you did for your birthday and how much fun you had. I don’t mean hint at being with another bloke just that life is fun for you. Then when he has sent you a few replies, stop texting him, go missing, let him think what happened to you. They like to be kept on their toes (I don’t think they even know it) but they do. See what happens after that, I think he would contact you again as they hate to be ignored. Oh I hope it works. Oh and when he sends his first reply, wait a while before you answer.
One other thing Dee, don’t say anything to him about forgetting your birthday. Don’t do anything to make him feel bad. Just say it had been your birthday and what you did.
My patience only has so many limits. Like I said above up there some where. I did postpone it.
Hope you had a good Birthday minus being in the land of wandering aqua man!
i thnk its geting obvious here. byendr he gets in tch only when he wants to see u and he sees u when he wants to get off. other than that he dsnt get in tch wid u. ignores ur msgs if he dsnt want to see u. doesnt that tell u smthng? if ur ok wid just being his booty call thn no problem. but if u want more thn ….
i really cant b sure ofcrse but my aqua wld say he never bothered chatting wid his bootie calls. he said i dnt hv time to waste wid small talk when we bth know we get together for just 1 thng. or maybe thats just him bragging bec he gen wld chat wid me whenever i pinged up except certain times. god its all so confusing…
He has respect for you as he knows that’s not who you are, you want more or nothing. Try what I said it’s got to be worth a try! I bet you get a reply. There is nothing confusing about it, you are not like the other women in his life.
need aqua help. ur replies make a lot of sens to me and anthr lady called shirl. whos missing. :-). its like u can undersatnd wht m going thru widout beating me abt my weakness but at the same time u offer suggestions which u feel can help me widout making me sound totally wimpy and spineless in front of my aqua evn thou i make the first moves. :). unless i remind him abt my b’day i dbt he wld even remember its in aug to be honest. all the times in the past whnever i hd got in tch wid him after a gap, he usually chatted wid me a lot. flirtish and playful chat. and whenevr i wld msg him late nite, he alwys responded. i supose that means he alwys reponded to me making the booty call. yes i will wait and see for a bit befre connecting. m hoping that the urge passes though.
thanx guys u alwys make me feel upbeat and positv even when thngs luk hopeless. and thanx for ur warm b;day wishes. appreciate much.. hugs.
He responded with: Hey, hope everything is ok.
I’m not responding.
I honestly have no urge. Ladies you all know when it’s time to let something go.
I know it’s time……..
Happy birthday Dee, it makes you a Leo, I think. The strongest sign of them all and the most generous and courageous, with the biggest heart. No I am not MIA, just been reading the posts and catching up. Thoughts, well lots. Lots and lots. You met an aquarius…mmm woe is you, woe is me and woe is us. If you had wanted to meet a normal 9 to 5 guy, Monday to Friday, cheese on toast, then you would have accepted your fate and met him long ago, hitched up with him, bought a house with a nice garden filled with roses. So why him, and not the others ? Think of the song…don’t marry her, &@$$ me.
Why don’t know. We meet them, a chance of fate maybe, if you believe in that. Then, everything goes out the window. Normal and regular go out, rule books go out and in fact, everything, everything you thought about how a normal relationship should be goes out too. It shakes you up a little. You wonder what attracts you to him in the first place, I mean he makes the rules up as he goes along, a little bit of dangling here and there, a few disappearance acts, no definition of the relationship, aloofness, but damn we still continue to love them. If you are like me, then you will have met the 9 to 5 guy. Predictable, reliable, shows up on on time everytime, we’ll dressed, treats you like a doll but oh no, it is not good enough, we have to seek out the unavailable man. Think about that and what it says about you. This is exactly where I am, evaluating what I want and who ultimately I want to be with…in my old age. Ha ha.
Beyonder, a horrible predicament for you but I have to agree with all the sound advice Need Aqua has given you. Back off, back off, I really hate to see you used, it is despicable and especially as he must know you love him, unless he is blind and totally devoid of any feeling or empathy. Be strong, I know it is not easy but as they say, when love comes in the window, good sense goes out the door. Totally feel for you but you will figure it out and it will be his loss, sad, sad man who takes love so freely and everything for granted. Wish you well.
Xxxxxxxx
thanx for the b’day wishes again..shirl long time. its like m talking to some of my closest confidents here. :-). m glad i found u guys.
ur rt. rt at this point that i talk to u, there are actually three 9 to 5 men who are pursuing me. and all are q taken with me despite me not giving them any encouragement whatsoever other than being casually frndly and polite. infact i finally told one of them last nite. pls dnt waste ur time since m just nt intrstd that way. two of them connected wid me aftr almost 6 mnths and instead of me being happy to hear frm frnds, i felt irritated by their inane qstns aftr just a cpla mins of interaction. i cldnt care less what they were doing and didnt feel any need to share with them what i was doing. and the thot occured to me, my aqua frnd has nvr acted so curt and disinterested whnever i have pinged him aftr ages.
and well i have wondered whether m all that interested bec he seems to b unavailable? i duno. but its a possibility. the challeng. the enigma.
need aqua help – he did mention a cpla tms that m diffrnt frm the women he gen hooks up wid for his booty calls. that he can talk to me and connect wid me even out of bed. hes told me he tries v hard to ensure he alwys gets bac to me whenevr i connect. and to ignore him when he goes silent. he knows m nt intrstd in being one of his f**k and forget fling. i know he wants me but he hsnt really tried hard enuf to pursuade me into slping wid him. maybe bec he realises slping wid me wld mean sm kinda involvement frm his side. thats the only reason i feel he hasnt tried hard enuf. he wants to be sure how he feels i thnk.
beynder u again go bac on the melodramatic track. we all are just telling u to back off nt break off. and see hw it goes. u hv till now done all the chasing, alwys been there and available at his beck and call. now try and turn the tables. try and take control. twist thngs a litl. see how thngs unfold. give it some time. and then take calls. no1 wnts u to break off. they just want u to take charge. let him do the running. let him thnk abt u. let him miss u. he knows v well ur nt going anywhere so he takes u sooo much for granted. maybe if he knows that u wont hang arnd for his bull shit anymore he may actually change his ways? let him stew a little. the way hes made u stew. dnt be sad. just get determined. 🙂
Melodramatic my arse
Enough is enough
I told you I did postpone seeing him today and have not messaged him back right?
I didn’t say to him that I was breaking up or anything like that.
I’m just done being his hush puppy that’s all!
Funny
He just messaged me again.
Asked me how i was feeling.
I’ll wait to answer though
Hey hey Beyonder, you are getting the hang of it. Let him marinate for a while longer in his own juice, turn the tables on him and see what happens. Bet your bottom dollar you will make him sweat He will certainly raise an eyebrow when you start to pull back. Above all, have fun in the process of getting into the driving seat!! You have nothing to lose and everything to win….Love to all. xoxo.
@Shirley
OMG I’m lmao bc I swear I texted to my bff of over 25 years about how I’m not going to answer him for a while and that he should marinate in his own shi7 to see how it feels LOL
Dear Dee, a note to you. I would not want to give you false hope but your guy seems fine, but maybe a bit hesitant and not sure. Maybe he has been burnt before and does not want to move until he is sure of what he wants. That last message he sent you seems to me that he definitely wants to stay in touch, certainly as friends. He reached out without your prompt and thought of you. That is nice. What I have realised through my own experience is that they are SLOW, a bit unpredictable but very interesting. They will not jump into anything until they are sure and I mean very sure. Snails pace comes to mind. You will need tons of patience and then it is just down to you as to how long you are prepared to give it, and if indeed he is worth the wait. Is he ? What does he bring to the table ? X
see beynder ur alrdy geting more response thn u usually do. i just hope u dnt fall back on ur old patterns. dnt meet him midweek. ideally push it smhw till wknd or even nxt week.
no i know shirl and need aqua help u guys are straight shooters but understand hw i feel since u been in the same shoes smwhat. m sure u wld tell me to give up if u thk i shld. and i wld prefer that.
burnt before i dunt know bec he says no. he’s quite a successful dude and been a playboy for many years and has just tchd 40. he wnts to stop drifting but i supose old habits die hard. tht final committment is smthng i thnk he cant reconcile himself into giving. who knows for sure?? he tells me he has alwys been v upfront abt his flings wid the women. he dsnt pretend to feel any deeper when he does not. and he dsnt believe in false promises. he dsn’t go overboard wid compliments when he talks to me either. i hv never felt he has lied to me. i know he wnts me bec he still remembers our brief passionate encounters, every detail. he even says i stl remember bec it felt bloody awsm. but he has nvr tried to take it all the way. m sure he knows if he tries he wl succeed easily bec i am v attrcted to him. but maybe he does nt bec he knows i feel emotional and he dsnt want to hurt?
he did send me a frndship msg. after 40 days almost of no contact. so if he had forgtn abt me or if he really did want me to stay lost he wldnt have sent that msg. so there is smthng but i wonder for how much time he plans to sit on the fence… and hw do i reconnect aftr that farewell msg saying i love u 45 days bac??? wldnt i lose face and all my respect??
its nt that m nt meeting any other men or avoiding going out wid them. i am but i dnt even come close to feeling for them what i feel for my aqua frnd. hws thngs wid u shirl??and need aqua men?
Dee he was the one that contacted you, after your goodbye message. He wanted to hear from you, so you would not lose face by contacting him again. If you had told him you love hin and goodbye and then you wanted to contact him again, then you would lose face. But seen as he was the last one to contact I don’t see the problem.
One text I sent to mine when he went missing was….did you know if you peel a banana from the bottom up, you don’t get the string bits. He got straight back to me as he knew I wasn’t going to give him a hard time for going missing. Keep it light and fun, be something that the other women are not.
Remember a LOT of Aquas run a mile after you have said you love them…..he didn’t so that’s a very good sign.
Need Aqua men hahaha you did it again
dmn. the min i posted the msg i realised the gaffe. hehe. unconsiously i supose bec to be honest an apt profile name for me currently wld be “need my aqua”… i was hoping u wld miss it though. o well…
u make sense. and frankly i like that interpretation bec it gvs me hope. but if i discuss this wid nrmal frnds who dnt undrstand aqua traits they wld tell me heck it was just a frndship msg on a frndship day. dnt make too much out of it. and if he wants u he will come and talk to u. so snap out of it. i hope he does, initiate the talking i mean. that wld clear all the dbts.
the thng is he is spoilt for choice. not only is he charming well spoken attrctive but he also drives all these high end luxury cars and women just jump into bed wid him at the snap of his fingers. i did ask him once u give these women so litl of urself so hw do u manage to get them so easily. he said i give them a gud time, treat them well and wid respect and m great in sack. many women r fine wid that.
hey guys i just wntd to share stuff i had written ages bac. if u read, u wld know who inspired the thoughts.
[“Grey represents hope?
Did it ever really happen or was the heart just playing tricks on the mind? It happens to the sanest, practical and even to the most hardcore cynic. And well to someone like me who falls in neither of the above categories, I sure fooled myself royally.
Sometimes its right out there in front of you unequivocally in black and white; yet we choose to look for that subtle shade of grey in between which just isn’t there. What do you call this? Insanity overt optimism insane romanticism or plain hopeless love??
Whatever you call it how does belief in existence of grey really help a love cause? Shouldn’t it be either a white (yes) or a black (no)? Just a glorious yes or a hopeless no? But then again who are we to judge others when we fake ourselves to believe that grey represents “hope”?
Life is crazy, confounding, cruel, cold, compassion less, complex. Gets more when we see white where others see grey. When we choose to see grey where others call out black. It’s a sad world to watch people living their lives in disillusioned grey, desperately clinging on to hope where none exists. I cringe to look into their eyes for I see my sad reflection.”]
[“A simple “NO”
I met “the man” online or rather he sought me out. I despite my initial attempts to brush him off, ended up chatting with him. interesting man i thought..
Over the next few days we spoke on various topics to get to know each other. You see we shared a common goal. To find that one person with whom we are compatible with and with whom we can think of sharing the rest of our lives with. Not an easy task ofcourse considering the fact that we both been single way too long and used to doing things our way.
Since we cleared the preliminary “geting to know each other” hurdle comfortably online, we decided to move on to the second hurdle, the big first meeting.
And so I went to meet “the man” for a quick drink in the evening but ended up staying over for a late dinner which further stretched on to include a midnite drive!!!!! but hey I sure as hell wasnt complaining. No sir. This is just what the doctor had orderded ages back… So gracious with a killer smile and could he kiss like a dream…. We could talk generally about various things without experiencing too much of the first meeting awkwardness. It seemed good, we both had a good time and shared some crackling chemistry. Great I thought, the second hurdle cleared pretty well too.
Time for testing the third hurdle. Why wait? Since I generally like being direct, and more so wrt matters, people I am passionate about, I just went for the kill. And told “the man”, I adore you and want to know you better. If you think the same then lets explore this seriously. He agreed. My heart sang. I felt close to falling in love, well as much as I could with a man I had met just once. We had cleared the third hurdle without a glitch.
“The man” liked me and I liked him. The good times with “the man” just began. yippeee. Or so I thought. Days passed, but we dont talk much nor do we meet. I am being too impatient u see, “the man’s” work comes first. I feel confounded but I wait and I wait and I wait some more. Weeks passed and then finally months pass, before I realise. Maybe I am being played for a total fool. I cringe when I remember all the times I tried knocking at “the man’s” door. You see not entirely my fault either. Because the door did open more than just a crack, more than few times, though now I know just to tease me. Fed up, I give up. Crossing the fourth hurdle, na forget it. This is not my game.
And lo behold who taps me on my shoulder, when I turn away..”the man” After being wiped out from the face of his earth without so much as a word, “the man” wants to meet me??? Should I meet such a self absorbed man I wonder but then I do. The same story repeats. Still so gracious with a killer smile and could he still kiss like a dream….This time too my heart sings but I know now this is not the whole truth and so I watch from afar. Days pass, but we dont talk much nor do we meet. This time also you see, I am being too impatient, “the man’s” work comes first. And we are still stuck on the fourth hurdle my friends.
This thing with “the man” seems destined to go nowhere. Apparently he is confused? Or is he just a player? am I just another potential booty call in his long list ? or am I just being plain dumb? I dont know. I just want to ask “the man” does he know the word “NO” and will he please use it and say “NO” ?? Cause to me, it signifies not just a simple answer, but also the end, closure and above all respect!!! I want to know that “the man” respects me enough to tell me the truth, to give me closure and to set me free to move on if for nothing else than simply for the few good times we shared in the past.]
m feeling so restless today, hvnt been able to focus on any kinda productive wrk. and i just found out i need to go to his city for sm work this friday. damn the thot makes me go crazy. so close yet so far. and nthing i can do..
Guess what
I took Grandma to an appointment this morning and guess who texts me to ask how I’m feeling……. Yep him
and I did not respond.
What’s funny is it wasn’t an email. So this means his cell phone has service when he had told me he wouldn’t have service this Month?
Now that I’m not responding, his cell is back in service all of a sudden??????? Funny
I’ll let him simmer in his own shi7 for a few days. Let him feel what it feels like. 🙂
Text him, text him, TEXT HIM haha. Tell him you are working in his city on Friday and if he would like a catch up to drop you a line. It’s his call that way. It happened for a reason you know. Let us know
Sorry that was for Dee
Beyonder…doesn’t it feel great when you are calling the shots? I would let him stew til next week if that were me. Yes it’s funny how his phone works when it has to isn’t it. Keep up the good work, he will be crazy by next week. Remember he made you wait for three weeks, you can make him wait a week.
Yea dee you honestly have nothing to lose.
Know what’s funny? We have to be the aggressors with these guys sometimes? In more ways than one
Yea it’s kinda fun but then again I feel bad cause I told him I wanted to postpone yesterday bc I wasn’t feeling too well. That’s why he keeps asking how I’m feeling.
But I am not answering him.
Let him get a taste of what it feels like to go through the torture they put us through of thinking/wondering and worrying about what they’re doing, who they’re with.etc etc.
Sighs.
He text me again to ask is everything ok……. Ummmmmmmmmmm Ladies am I a fool to feel bad?????????????? I don’t like these games but it’s tough love isn’t it? blah
Stick to your guns, he didn’t care when you were worried about him did he. You have taken the control back, stick to it, it will pay off.
u r right, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Going to keep doing. How long though? Hmmm we’ll see maybe til next week. But when I do eventually answer I will be cool and act as if nothing is wrong. Just as he does
What a mind fu** I tell ya lol
ystrdy was bad. today seems alrt. if i can manage nt to give in to stupidities when i feel so restless thn that means theres stl hope for me. lol. i just duno whether i shld text him. leme see how thngs go and hw i feel. thanx guys for being thre.
Dee, hard call for you. One way or the other, you need to put a line under this one, if only to keep your sanity :):) You have two possible outcomes, either you call it a day and take no further action, especially if it is stopping you going forward, or you take the bull by the proverbials and take action, but no not in a drastic way but trying another tactic.
You said you will be in his town on Friday, there s your chance. Well you could just try and ask him for a friendly catch up coffee or lunch and see what happens. If he says he is busy, you have your answer but if he accepts, you are a step further down the road and you can see what happens.
Yes, I know it is hard but if you do it by text, then no harm done. Just treat him as any friend that you would like to meet up with juSt as you would do any other friend. I wouldn’t worry about the love declaration you sent him, have a laugh about that. Rooting for a happy outcome for you, whatever happens!! Don’t be stuck, get moving. X
ur rt. it has to be one way or the other. and i hv been in a dilemna for the past 2 days. either i just forget abt it totally and get on wid thngs or i take the bull by its horns. maybe its pride? or my stubborn ego? i wld have preferred him to initiate a conversation wid me. it just got confirmed. i am def going to his city 2rw mrning and i hv the option to stay over nite or retrn the same day. if i meet him then i supose i wldnt mind staying there overnite. wheew. m so confused abt what i shld be doing. i know for sure that if i msg him he will reply. he has never evr failed to reply in the past if i hv msgsd aftr a gap. but whether we wld meet? i m nt sure.
He was the last one to contact, so no harm in you making the next move. If you go and don’t contact him you will kick yourself. He will either be busy or he won’t. Go for it, if you leave it much longer he will be busy for sure.
haha. m nervous..sigh. nvr been nervous abt msging him in the past
i did. msg him. we have a dry day tomorrow. so i simply said bet u cant take me out for a drnk tomorrow even if u wana.. he replied “why” withn 10 secs. i said bec its dry day silly. he started laughing. so i said does that laugh mean a no or can u stl take me out for a drnk? he said cant bec he is not in my city. i said no worries m in urs. he said hes travelling and in city z. lol. anticlimax.
i tehn asked can u get bac to ur city tomorrow or u can come to my city the next day. i said anywys let me know if u want to meet. m going to be in ur city till sat aftrn and get bac to my city on sat evening. no reply to that.
i finally got a reply after 1 hour saying he wld have liked to meet me, then he said hes likely to be in my city on sunday evening so we cld ctch up for a drink. i will now reply to that only tomorrow.
now lets see wht happens. O well u guys had ur hunches rite and prob it was nt a bad idea for me to get in tch i supose.
hey guys latest my meeting dint happen on sunday. i had to stay till sunday in his city so pinged him on sat nite and asked if our meeting on sun ws on? he said hes a litl tied up on sun and maybe we can push it to monday? i said mon is an odd day and m nt keen to meet on mon. then i realised we have a 4 day break so mon shld be a holiday. so told him alrt. its mon aftern and hvnt heard from him yet. nt sure if he will ping or nt to confirm abt tonite. so irritating. this is alwys wht happens wid him. if a person is tied up he can alwys say today is off and wl revrt latr. but no these guy dnt believe in nrmal channels of commuciatn.
i pinged in the aftrn and asked if hes down in my city? i dint get any response. its alrdy 6 pm so i dbt i will hear frm him nw. it seems he pulled a fast one on me once again!!! i inititally felt v low, sad and angry, sad bec i thnk this is just nt meant to be no matr how much i adore him and angry at myslf for my weakness. he threw a tiny bait at me and i jumped all ovr it like a despo..
i thnk with me i dont like to blame the other person it gets directed all inward which i supose is nt gud for me. i did beat myslf up a bit but then decided there is really no point. he knows best why he does what he does and we can nvr undertsnd their real motives. maybe he’s just plain stupid and insensitive? or gay? or maybe m just an ego booster, an ego massage for him??
i wantd to vent out my frustration and write to him abt wht an arse he is or why he alwys does wht he does blah blah. but thn decided nope.one thing i have learnt frm this grp is to hold bac ur irritation and not give them that satisfaction. it dsnt work anywys and they get an ego booster knowing hw agitated we become. so if he chose silence thn i wll too.
m fine now. in a fighting mode. kinda u know like f*** u. if this is how u wana play thngs, fine m ready for it. i can be as patient as u and as silent as u. if u dont connect wid me ever thats perfectly fine too. m so fed up with his stupid insesnitive cowardly games. really. ny which ways love will work only if its mutual. but saying all that i wld love to do wht he did to me if given half a chance. make plans and opt out at the last min. he shld know wht it feels like. m just going to look ahead from nw on and try and get rid of this aqua disease frm my head. thanx guys for being there. that surely helped me keep my sanity..love, light and happiness to u all.
I really didn’t think he would do that to you this time. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out. They do things like that all the time when your in something with them, but for him to do that to you and not contact you to explain why is just plain RUDE. No idea what he must be thinking but if he is like that now then it may be fair to say, he will always be like that. So your probably best off out of it.
Me too. i thot he had changed for the betr since he seemed normal till sat. he mentioned the possibility abt meeting on sunday and then postponing on mon. i still dnt understand y u cant let ppl know if the plan cant work out. i have had few pile ons after me but i just cant be that rude to anybody no matr what. yes ur rite. now even i think i am betr off widout him. u know i was deleting his no frm my cell. then i thot why? its really not necessary this time casue i know now i wl nvr be tempted to get in tch wid him again. this time he went just too far. its over for me… m a litl sad but detrmined this time not to give in to it. hes just not worth it..
Sorry Ladies
I know this a little off topic but it’s sort of related?
Since it’s about zodiac signs etc etc
I was looking at my Natal Chart yesterday and found out that whatever you have in your Vll(7th) house is usually who you are drawn to/attracted to. And guess what sign I had in my 7th house………. Yep aquarius.
So maybe we all have this in common? I will post a link for you if you’re interested to see if this relates to you also
I hope it’s ok to post this here if not please edit it out ty
http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal
Sorry Dee I know you’re fed up.
Been there……..sighs
i dont understand all this beyndr.. i gues fed up denotes some hope but there is none anymore. he will nvr change and i cant keep trying. its alwys like hitting the bottom and smhw gathering enuf strength and picking urslf each time. its like my frnd said u go thru so much pain but ur nt even in a proper relationship. so drop it pls and stop torturing urslf. i do hope u guys hv betr luck wid ur aquas. all the best..
Dee I feel really bad as it was kind of us that told you to go for it. Your right all it would have taken was for him to say he was busy and all would have been well, you wouldn’t be feeling so upset and hurt by it. I hope at some point he contacts you so you can….as you say…do the same back to him.
Beyonder is that the best you can say to Dee when she has tried so very hard to help you.. Yes you must have Aqua in you as you are soooo me me me
No I am not all me me me I was getting ready to head out my door before I posted this so I couldn’t write more than I did.
And I thought you all would want to know about your own charts? I guess not.
I believe you already know what you need to do versus what you want to do.
Do you listen to your heart or your head(logic)?
When I get into my head(thinking then followed by feeling hurt) is when you say I get melodramatic but it’s me getting fed up.
But understand that if you’re always following your heart and it gets you nothing but hurt, who better to understand what the next step should be than Dee? After all the shit she’s seen me go through with this guy?
If you feel you don’t fit in to his schedule then I hate to say it: It’s high time to cut your losses. Let go of the idea. Like I’m doing now.
And by the way He’s been messaging me daily for the past 3 days.
Sorry I can’t remember Dee, how long have you known this Fella 2 or 3+ years???
Dee, so so sorry, what a mess up. You have done nothing wrong and you have been brave and nothing to regret, you only asked him to you for a flamin drink so no big deal (except of course a horrible weekend for you). It is his loss. Just to say that the advice I gave you was from own personal experience.
Many years ago, I had being seeing this man that I was quite into, living around 50 miles from me but our meet ups were always at my place and that disturbed me a little because I was not getting to see where he lived, his friends his family, I mean his inner circle.
And then, my company at the time asked me to go on a business trip to the town where he lived. I gave him notice as soon as I knew, around a weeks notice, as I recall it, and it was a good opportunity for me to meet him on his territory without actually going there deliberately, just for him, call it a good excuse. I had this feeling he was keeping something from me. I wanted him to entertain me for a change, be the host for a change and make some plans that did involve my participation. Anyway, no reply from him for days and then when he did, he explained that he was going to be away that weekend and that on the Sunday night when I would arrive, he said that it would be ‘complicated’. He did not explain why it would be complicated and although we saw each other a few times after that, it was never the same because I knew he just did not want me at his place, for whatever reason. The reason did not matter really, it was his answer that mattered, and then some time later we broke up, old story.
So, what I am saying is…sometimes you have to push somebody to their furthest limits to get an answer, put them in a corner, so to speak, and that answer is maybe not what we like, but it is the answer and one which will allow you to break loose and meet somebody else. I am sorry I did not explain that in the first place.
@Shirley
Have you heard from him since?
I hear this a lot: that they DO NOT like to part ways……..EVER
Another thing they don’t like is coming off as dependent on anyone for anything!
As I said, an old story not to be revisited.
An emotionally unavailable Aquarius can be intoxicating and lethal. Take their distance/avoidance as a warning ! It is never a challenge…..not for them…..because for the ordinary person that will involve emotion…….they will even let you think you are getting somewhere……usually a brick wall. If they are not chasing you…..your wasting your time. You can’t out smart them with your feminine wiles,
They have to want you…..then there will be no doubt. The reason they behave like this……who knows……..the important thing is you protect yourself. You find someone who can love you because for whatever reason that person is not in a good place. See the red light, but don’t stop…..keep moving. See the part you played, ponder that…nothing else.
With Love. x
annie.
From your post… Sounds like the doom and gloom Annie as far as these men are concerned. No way forward, no way out….:):):)
o my god..thanx all for ur supportive messages.
need aqua help..hey no1 pushed me into anthng i didnt want to do. so pls dnt feel guilty. i had snapped off all ties wid my aqua and hd not contacted him after that. he did. so i just followed up on that. glad i did in a way. atlst now i have my closure and a reconfirmation directly from the horses mouth that he will never change his cowardly elusive ways..:-). he is ok with talking and talking abt meeting when there is no chance of meeting me but the min the day arrives he runs away without a word. i had thot this time he wld be more upfront but thats not to be. and in a way if u thnk isnt it kind of a turn off to imagine him lurking in a corner hiding away afraid of thngs (emotions)?? like a child afraid of darkness.
yeah me too. i hope he connects again so i can give bac what he gave me. but u know what? knowing me m sure when or if that time arrives i wld care at all. best i thnk to keep that window closed. dont know if he wld connect again but then again even if he does we all know he will prob never ever change. so shld v even care if he does? :-). its sad bec he never gave thngs a chance.
and u saw that rite on..lol. who really wld luk at or care abt charts and ascendants or descenadants whn u feel dumped all over again?? even i thot that was wierd. but.. shrug. 🙂 m sure thou she means well.
shirley.u dint hv to explain. but yes i get ur point. he had alwys indicated to me in the past that whenevr u r in my city to ping me and we wl def meet. so u can say i followed up on that. and luk what i got..lol. i supose at the end of the day its all v simple. he is a successful entrepreneur and a go getter who njys the best thngs in life. so if he really wanted me some distance wld nvr have been a problem for him. smthng stops him or he stops himself from connecting with women on a deeper emotional level. cant do much abt that.
annie.. u make total sense. but u know how it is. love makes us wana try. and i did. but wont bother from now on. i got all my answers accompanied with a resounding slap. its q clear he doesnt want me nor does he care. read that loud and clear,
thanx once again all u lovely ladies for ur moral and emotional support.
Hi everyone
Not been on here for quite some time but still reading all your posts.
For those who don’t know me you can read my story above, to long to go into in this post.
Now for an update well……My Aqua if you read my other posts was in intensive care and in a coma with kidney failure last christmas, he pulled through thank god! In his recovery he cut me off completely for 4 months it was hell as I am not well myself.
I was so upset by his actions because before it was all arranged for him to spend christmas with me, telling me he loved me missed me and couldn’t wait to be with me. After his illness he was acting like a complete stranger to me I was devastated. He had helped me so much through my own illness I wanted to do the same for him.
Anyway we gradually started talking again on the phone and he explained it was because he was angry with his illness, angry because he had lost weight, angry because he couldn’t do things like before, he was on dialysis for 3 months, so anger had stopped him contacting me, fair enough I totally understand his feelings of anger but the thing is he failed to explain it at the time, he just retreated into his cave and left me to greive for him YES GREIVE it was touch and go whether he would survive, he told me later he had died in the ambulance on the way to hospital!!
Fast forward to May this year we arranged for him to spend a weekend at my house which he did. We had a lovely weekend had fun and he even shed a tear talking about his childhood he can be sensitive and show his emotions, its like he is 2 different people though, one person telling me how much he misses and loves me, the other person being so indifferent, distant, silent and don’t care attitude with a big brick wall surrounding him. I really don’t like the bad aqua in him from loving and made me feel on top of the world to feeling dumped but hey ho not really dumped! WTF its so upsetting not to be able to speak to your boyfriend because he’s in his cave…again!!!
He left my house on the sunday for the 300 mile drive back to where he lives. 10 minutes after he had left I found his phone on the sofa….. oops… well girl’s can you guess my next move? Right or wrong I’m afraid I couldn’t help myself so god forgive me I checked his phone lol.
I’m afraid the laugh was on me, it revealed he was on a dating site looking for a relationship and had been since last september just after I came out of hospital. I read half an email from some girl complaining why is it always her that initiates contact asking him do you not care? Im afraid I just saw red i was fuming Leo claws were out pride was dented big time, so i did something really bad…. i threw his phone at the wall in temper and broke it 😦 Then I panicked how could I tell him the reason for his phone being broke?
To cut a long story short he got a mate to text me to post his phone to him, still fuming at the secrets his phones had revealed I text the friend back in no uncertain terms what I had found out about the dating site, I’m afraid I was like a volcano erupting, all the years of indifference, silent treatment, feeling dumped but not finally unleashed my revenge……I DUMPED HIM!!!!!! BY TEXT VIA HIS FRIEND, and you know what he didn’t even try to fight for me not even a sorry another trait of Aqua never show they are bothered.
At last I feel liberated from Aqua lol
Lozzy xx
Oh and by the way I never returned his phone to him and it had all his work contacts in it…..Tut tut naughty Lozzy 😉
Well what I am trying to say is, If you are waiting weeks on a call, if he is making excuses, If you know in your heart he is messing you around and you are saying oh well he is an aquarius, Yes it is doom and gloom! I could stop there.
We are all aware of what constitutes a good relationship I am just saying don’t settle for less because of a star sign….or if you are prepared to, then read all of the above to know what to expect.
Generally I just see men who don’t care, men you can’t trust, men who are making a fool out of you. That’s not unique to any star sign.
If you are talking about love, love is patient love is kind etc. but it works both ways or should. No love doesn’t hurt. Yes all the other stuff does. If he is EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE I would say again……don’t put yourself through it. You won’t be the cure.
Simply my opinion, no you don’t have to buy it!
I think most people write here because they are not being treated the way they wish to be. I don’t know but if a pattern is developing and you are not happy and he has shown you exactly who he is……no matter what your star sign is ….. it time to go.
This is my view in life and I am sticking to it. IF HE CAN;T TREAT ME LIKE A LADY,,,,,,,HE’S NOT FOR ME! IF I FEEL I CAN’T TRUST HIM…..HE’S NOT FOR ME…..IF HE DOESN’T RESPECT ME….HE’S NOT FOR ME. IF HE LET’S ME DOWN HE’S NOT FOR ME.
Yes I understand no one is perfect but if I am giving my time to a relationship ……it’s not going to be a crap one. Everyone goes through difficult times and as a Leo…..with a great big heart I will jump hoops for you…..but I need to know you’ll do the same for me.
I come from a home where I am fortunate to have both my parents even though they are in there late 70s throughout my life people have commented to me how much my parents love each other. I am very proud to say my father is a gentleman……its what I have always observed. I love the little things they do for each other and I suppose I want that. My father is a very quiet capricorn and my mother a loud saggitarius.
Anything I write here is merely my opinion and I don’t like to see people taken advantage of or there heart’s broken. If I offend it isn’t my intention. I know right from wrong and I have this need in me that I like things to be right or I just can’t settle and yes I would make the other person’s life crap because of it, so best just to go.
Simply put I am old fashioned and I like a man who I can respect, who I can look up to and I can depend on. They say a man is only as good as his word yes words are good I need the actions too……now if that is too much to ask I would be happy and proud to stay single..
Whilst I do not go out of my way to offend EVER……I am old enough and have been through enough not to give a dam what other people think. If you don’t like it ask yourself honestly why?
Annie.
annie i agree with all that u said actually. m a leo as well. maybe many of us here are taking too much crap and blaming issues on star signs? i for one m guilty as charged. he alwys talked abt meeting but nvr made time. and his handy excuses were distance and work. m glad he did wht he did this time. bec the equation has totally sudnly changed in my mind. i just see him as a 40 year old grown up who refuses to grow up and still loves to play hide and seek in his frndships and relatnships. what pleasure he dervies from this i dont know.
i had written “grey represents hope?” questioning my logic which relied on obscure hints to delude myslf into believeing that he cares and there is still hope. he either likes u or he does not. can there evr be a grey in love? it goes like this and replicates i thnk what u said above.
[“Grey represents hope?
Did it ever really happen or was the heart just playing tricks on the mind? It happens to the sanest, practical and even to the most hardcore cynic. And well to someone like me who falls in neither of the above categories, I sure fooled myself royally.
Sometimes its right out there in front of you unequivocally in black and white; yet we choose to look for that subtle shade of grey in between which just isn’t there. What do you call this? Insanity overt optimism insane romanticism or plain hopeless love??
Whatever you call it how does belief in existence of grey really help a love cause? Shouldn’t it be either a white (yes) or a black (no)? Just a glorious yes or a hopeless no? But then again who are we to judge others when we fake ourselves to believe that grey represents “hope”?
Life is crazy, confounding, cruel, cold, compassion less, complex. Gets more when we see white where others see grey. When we choose to see grey where others call out black. It’s a sad world to watch people living their lives in disillusioned grey, desperately clinging on to hope where none exists. I cringe to look into their eyes for I see my sad reflection.”]
look at lozzie. she thot his disappearances were mostly to do with his reticient star sign. turns out he was actually on the sly also looking out for other ladies and new relationships or frndships. very sad. maybe we rely too much on star signs to excuse general bad behaviour which we otherwise wldnt tolerate? i wld say sherl and need aqua help have finally wisened up and nt taking shit anymore. i supose we shld keep their traits in mind, acoomodate a little but not take any bullshit from them. love shld be there but so shld common sense as well as self respect. 🙂
m just glad m finally over my stupidity and crazy aqua fixation. there is nothing appealing abt a frightened elusive lying 40 year old who hides at the slightest hint of dealing wid real emotions. in this entire sordid mess, only thng i am glad abt is nt calling him names when he pulled a fast one on me again last wknd and walking away finally wisened. betr late than never.
Dee,
That was so refreshing and a pleasure to read.
Love is a very beautiful thing…..and I am only sorry yours was not returned. It wasn’t lost though you learned about him and yourself and that for your future will be to your advantage. If he ever has the balls to contact you again…..act like a lady be nice wish him well and sent him off in your heart with love……he needs it because yes I would say he is one sad individual, the trapping of success but all very superficial.
Leo’s are not good at games we are too straight.
I’ll say love should be CLEAR for all to see even if it is just a look or the touch of an others hand. We all know love when we see it, feel it but it takes two hearts in the same place at the same time. It can’t be forced it just is.
When we have big hearts we can’t help who we love but the pain of loving someone who doesn’t love us should be a good reminder for the future. Give a man a fair chance but when he shows you who he is believe him.
You sound very deserving, Dee and I truly wish you a great future a man should want to prove himself to you if you have doubts. not leave you wondering. Guard your beautiful heart give it to someone who knows its true value.
With Love
Annie.
Sorry Dee, I will just say this for us all….If it is meant to be it will be…..and I will add but it shouldn’t be a struggle xxx.
thanx annie for ur sweet words.. appreciate them.
if loving him only adds to my insecurty then wht use is it? i remember my aqua frnd in the initial days of meeting, had mentioned that as a man i wld nvr let my woman feel insecure. that its imp that she feels emotionally secure wid me. hahaha. wonder what happened to the tall words? yes he is v successful wid many houses, kennel full of high pedigreed dogs and many keepers to take care of them, a big garage full of high end luxury n vintage cars, constant travel and alwys first class and stays at the best of hotels. i had come to know of all this and initially rejected him saying we come frm 2 very difrnt worlds and this can nvr wrk. but he assured me that beneath all these trappings he is just an ordinary lonely man in search of love and a true friend with whom he cld share his success and travel and see the world. shrug i got suckered in and fell for him.
A person always has the right to change his mind. so if he fell out after few months of knowing me he cld have alwys let me down politely and gently but honestly. but u know rt till the end he alwys maintained that wht i feel is mutual and not one sided. and that is what irks me the most. the lies and the deceit. no matter hw much i thnk abt y and y nts i wl nvr know y he did wht he did. so best to just let it go gently knowing i wl nvr know the truth. yes no more rantings or trying to seek answrs frm him. even if he does get in tch i dbt m gona bother this time. hes called out wolf one time too many.
yes. if its meant to be it will surely be. i wish all of us all the v best..:-).
I read that and thought, all that and not a shred of common decency…..just the first thing that came into my mind.
Things can change Dee and a friend once told me when I was very young and fond of someone who I thought cared very little,…The tide will change…. I thought her mad….but the tide did change. I wasn’t standing on a lonely beach though I had changed too, much to his shock. He proposed and I refused but we are best friends to this day
.
Until you have a relationship with them he texts, he calls he does the running because they can and if he doesn’t there really is nothing to discuss. If he doesn’t know how to treat a lady?????? well there ain’t to point.You have to feel you are a priority in his life.
yes ur rite. when he was wid u he was so attentive, courteous and focussed totally on u. nt just that. he even treated all the hotel boys and waiters with so much respect and courtesy. nvr to raise his voice nvr to lose his temper. alwys the charmer. its like jeckyl and hyde.
And thats what confused the hell out of me and kept me intrigued. his gud behaviour alwys but alwys was followed by bad behviour.
Mr. Jekyll and Hyde
I see you
In your dual glory
Pristine pure white
Dark unashamed black
It’s now out in the open
Tempted though I am
To sooth myself in your calm white
Am afraid to take shelter
For darkness inevitably follows
So black utterly black
It overpowers completely
Leaving no room
For even murky grey
That you love white
Followed by pitch black
Is obvious I suppose to many
But the dark shell
I find myself wondering
Is that intrinsic?
If yes then I hold no hope
Or is it?
A thoughtful self cultivated cocoon
To keep you cosseted from the world..
I supose there is a kind of romanticsim and poetry in sad and unrequited love? m sure the abv showed my complete fascination with this dual faced creature i met. i thot there wre layers to be explored. but turns out i was just fantasizing. if a man cant treat a woman with respect then thats that.
I am not sure if he wl get in tch again. but rest assured this time i wont jump in.
Last words Dee, I also love their good manners, being able to put people at ease….make them feel important and special and their humility.
However it must be genuine……because we have their huge ego’s to deal with which the keep carefully under wraps……put any Leo to shame!
yes true that. talking with all of u have helped me deal wid thngs. i must now get over him totally even in my head, nt luk bac at all and refocus on other stuff in life. enuf of discussions abt him. thats all anywys in the past. it ws all one sided and now even that is ovr.
nt sure if m ready to let in any guy. maybe when m ready mentally thngs wil automatically happen m sure. i hv taken a sabbatical frm my work and joined further studies. wish u guys all the best once again and i will peep in reg to check whats happening wid ur lives. till then..lotsa love and hugs…
I met an aqua man 7 years ago. We were seeing each other for about 2 weeks and then nothing. Well last year I saw this very handsome man at the flea market I went to with a friend of mine and I asked if he had a gf. He said no not really. Wow what put for that one. Well never the less I gave him my number. He eventually called and we hung out for a couple months, but little did I know he was still in contact with the ex gf. So needless to say he ended up disappearing here and there every so often. Until finally I didn’t hear a word from him for months and months. So this brings me to this year in May I sent him a text message asking if this was still his number. Well the gf answered and she kept asking who I was. I never answered her. So I left it at that. Deleted his name from my phone. Well in June of this year I get a call from him (I didn’t know it was him tho when I answered the phone) so I said hello and he said oh shi7. So then shortly after that he texted me with just my name. I said yes and then we started talking just about general life crap. I told him I had a bf then and he told me to call him sometime. So I hung out with him one evening (while I still had a bf) but I had already told him it was just as friends that we could hang out. Well since that time I broke up with the bf because I soon found out that he was a liar, cheater user, and a deadbeat. So I dumped him immediately. Well the aqua man was my shoulder to cry on while I got over the break up with this cheater. A few weeks ago we spent an entire week together just hanging out and going to the river and going downtown to see the boats. Then the next week I didn’t hear a peep out of him, not a word. Well I couldn’t get a hold of him so I kinda knew he would contact me soon enough, and well he called me on Sunday and said he wanted to come over that night. Well I waited around and never did get a call from him. So I wrote it off. Then Monday morning he calls me and wants me to come and pick him up from downtown. So I did. We hung out the while day and night until Tuesday around 2ish. When I dropped him off at work he said I will call u tonight and u can come and get me and he will spend the night at my house. I have not heard a word from him. I texted him Tuesday evening 1 time and didn’t get a reply. So then before I went to bed that night I called and of course got no answer. I haven’t tried to text or call him since Tuesday night. I only gave him another shot at me because of what he texted me a while back. He wrote cool, your a good chick and I should of kept it 100% with you your cool as hell. I know he will eventually POP back in to my life because we all know that is what they do. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one going thru this. But since I have been reading all these posts I know to leave him alone and when he does contact me again I will ignore that too. Let him stew and wonder what this cool chick is doing. Is this what I should do? Keep it cool? I have never asked for anything from him. But I’m not stupid. I wonder if there is another chick that has his interest as well as me. I know his ex gf already has a new bf so it’s not her. Any help would be greatly appreciated. By the way I an Aquarius too.
Hi all,
I am an Aquarius Man (February 16), I am so sorry for all the ladies who having hard times with their aqua man.
I have to thank you all for sorting out all the issue caused by the aqua man. Some might be useful for me to avoid doing things that might hurt my partner.
As I recall, I’m not sure that I ever doing the “disappear/me time” things to my partner, or maybe I just didn’t realize. I think I have to be more sensitive.
Oh yes, I’ve married. My wife is a Leo Woman (August 20), now we’re in the second years and have a wonderful son. Just FYI, Before we married on March 2013, we’ve been together for 5 years and I’m sure that I have never did the “disappear/me time” things along those years. Just trying to clarify that maybe not all aqua man are that selfish. maybe that has something to do with the birth date (I was born on February 16, according to an Astrology site that once I visit, February 16 born are a little different with other aqua) or the culture.
Sorry if my english is not good, i’m Asian.
Good luck to all of you and hope you all happiness in your life
Zack
hey guys how’s things wid u? looked in after ages!! hope things hv improved in ur love life..:-). updates pls. mine came to naught. after that last fiasco, I never connected with him and neither did he.
I finally came to my senses but it took a while. if the aqua guy doesn’t change his ways even after some time, then I guess things will never improve. On hindsight I realize it was mostly one sided and he just had a grt time stringing me along knowing hw I felt and that too only whn he was free and bored. that pinches a bit. but I don’t feel angry towards him. I was just blind sighted and failed to see the obvious.
I met someone and interacted with him a bit. but then realised my heart was just not into him at all even though he appears to be an ok guy. so I stopped.
hugs and love to all my frnds here…
Hey Zack, thanks for reaching out on Aman blog. you are a good aquarius and thanks a million for your insights, all is not lost.
Dee, so glad you are getting on with it and that you have filed your guy under ‘interesting, maybe hot, but not ready for a commitment’ you go girl.
Dear Need Aqua help (but not men), your advice has been precious and I hope it still works for you. You have said many times..let him do the work, do not be available at the drop of the hat or words to that effect. How right. I suppose, the most important thing is to get on with your life, filll it with good things, good people and lots of activities. Yip, still with my guy, a bit of an unusual set up but somehow it works, I think we come out of the same mould.
Beyonder, hope all good too and that Wilson is still around and making you happy.
Lozzy, you posted some time back. What a find. The answer dropped right on to your lap. Wondering what you did with his cell phone in the end. A museum piece for sure. Glad you got closure, even if one you did not count on.
Take care everybody.
hey shirl. nice to know things still going gud with u. hope alls well with others too. I felt really sad for lozzie but glad she picked herself up and moved on.
It took some effort to put him behind and out of my mind completely. but that’s what I did. I did not connect with him at all after that last fiasco when he disappeared on me after agreeing to meet. no qstns, no whys, no accusations, no display of confusion. i decided to just let go quietly and move on.That was sometime in mid august based on my posts above.
we have a festival here today its basically a celebration of gud over evil. and this morning guess who wishes me? yeah the man himself. for an instant, I did feel excited but then remembered the last episode. and all my excitement died. I always but always wish ppl back when they send greetings. but this time v consciously and prob for the 1st time in my life, I did not reciprocate.
its a pattern I suppose with them. they use these excuses to ensure they stay connected with you. and do their best to ensure u dnt forget them so easily. nyways I have had enuf of his childish crap so not going to bother with him at all.
hey all. how’s u there? shirl, annie, need aqua help, beynder, lozzie .. hey I checkd after ages here. no posts from any of u.. do tell me. atlst one of u that ur relationship is going grt guns wid no confusion.
btw we had another festival here last week and I heard frm my aqua again! he just wished me on whats app though he dint try to talk. honestly? I was so pissed at his message that I cldnt help it and after a cpla days told him I don’t get u. u hv treated me so badly in the past. u dnt like me, nr are u interested and nor do u want to be my frnd. so y do u want to stay in tch? why u keep popping up? told him to go live his life and b happy but kindly stop his silly games as am totally fed up.
what an idiot. they don’t say no and dnt say yes. even when u go all out and confess he doesn’t respond. so why does he want to message me on festivals to wish? I hv stuck to my guns and dont bother to talk to him not after that last fiasco when he said he will meet and just dint bother. he’s the one who has msged me a cpla times both times under the guise of a local festival to wish. why does he care to wish???
m quite firm and not intrstd in letting him in again to wreck my mental state again. and wid his massive ego doubt he wld get in tch again. gud riddance. do post abt whats happening wid u guys…
o my god. there is an update. I was out for drnks n dinr ystrdy nite wid my buddy. he asked me what’s happening wid my aqua man. so I told him its finished and he wl no longer get in tch. my frnd said that’s what ur assuming u don’t know wht he thinks. and strangely at that instant I got a ping from my aqua guy!!!
I was a few drnks down so it was easier for me to vent out. told him I love u but u don’t. I don’t want to be just ur frnd. so lets not stay in touch. to leave me alone. he said he can’t. I want you. seriously??? I got more pissed and vented out some more. told him ur an a***se. and I have had enuf of his crap. he said he wants to stay in touch with me. what the hell does he really want?? anyways I wake up in the morning to get a morning message from him.
I feel strong this time and wont give in. if he wants me he has to make efforts. I will not be initiating any kind of convo with him. actually I haven’t for the past few months. he has cried wolf toooo many times in the past for me to jump at this latest turn in events. I plan to stay away till he’s clear of what he wants, n if it matches with what I want great, else he can FO.
Hi Dee,
I did read your last message and thought there is a girl still in love with a man in spite of what you said.
This is good news and you are right sit back and see what he comes up with. He knows exactly how you feel, the ball really is in his court. He will do it in his own time…In this case no news is good news.
I can’t tell you what the future holds….only if it is meant to be it will be.
Thinking of you and wishing you real happiness and lots of love.
Annie.
hey annie u r so rite. that’s what I thot exactly. that though I feel I am in the drivers seat m not actually. and m still in love wid him. true I hvnt initiated any convo wid him for the past few mnths just like I said I would.
but I cant let him treat me this way. all I end up feeling is insecure and uncertain. so u know what I did? actually wrote a brief note and sent it to him today. telling him I just don’t want to be with him any more and to please leave me alone wid a few other things. I cant handle this up and down. too tired. its best he vanishes from my life. and stays lost.
my note was clear and emphatic. he is not coming bac and that’s prob for the best!
hws thngs wid u annie?
Yes clear and emphatic …….PROBABLY for the best….yes Dee I got that loud and clear! I wonder what he made of it lol.
Annie I have no idea. but of crse like I said I would I actually stuck to what I had resolved and dint try to initiate any connect with him. he did all the last 3/4 times. and hw he kept in touch? by wishing me widout fail on all these occasions/festivals, hell even on independence day of our country? can u beat that? well its true that he has never really bothered to wish me in the past and these are prob his pathetic attempts to keep in touch I gather. but really what purpose does it solve? this time I just cldnt stand it and told him y is he attempting to keep in touch wid me. he said do u want me to go away I said yes. go away. but then he changed his tune and said no baby don’t say that. lets stay in touch and get to know each other. but I can see the pattern and I don’t want to fall in the same rut again.
Unless he does something drastic, I see no point. which he hasn’t. I realised in the past 2 days that just a hint of response from him drives me up the wall doing a crazy dance at the risk of breaking my own godamn neck!!! so I wrote the note to him telling him u suck at personal relatnships and ur a mind fucker. grow up. and go scr** ur many women who flit in and out of ur life. but please spare me. all u give is shit and all u do is play silly mind games. I want none of that. your just a half man/boy and have no idea how to treat a real woman, love her, appreciate her, respect her and cherish her. all the things I want from my man, u cant give me any of that. so just get lost and stay lost.
felt gud to say all that. :-). i didn’t want him bac pinging me so had to say all those things. I recognise the fact that I have problems getting him out of my mind and his pathetic attempts to screw my mind periodically therefore work. If i have to forget him he has to stay out of my life. that’s the only way.
Dee,
I will try to be diplomatic, something I’m not so good at…..as I have the habit of saying what I think….something similar to yourself. However Dee if I was Mr Aquarius I would be saying all this and we are not even in a relationship! He is air and you are fire from reading that it couldn’t be more obvious. I know you said it, but to me it was more a cry from the heart.. Did he deserve it …yes. Should you have said it in hindsight ….no.. It again tells him all he needs to know.
He knows you are completely crazy about him…..and it wouldn’t take much effort for an Aquarius to wrap you around his little finger.
He is very wrong in how he treated you….you have let your emotions and feelings get completely out of control. Two wrongs will never make a right. No relationship is easy….but don’t get into something which will destroy you..he might seem to be all you want…but is it what you need?
Don’t go near him unless you feel you are in control. Take care..protect yourself.
Sent with much love Dee.
I prefer when ppl say it straight. and especially in such matters. I felt almost sick yesterday and that’s when I realised I am letting this whole thing take control of my mind and life.
I know he knows what I feel annie. I came out clean ages back. so there’s nothing to hide there. I wrote a farewell note not in the hopes of getting him back tactic but truly as a way of washing my hands of the whole thing. I did write to him that I fell in love but u didn’t. but that’s ok. life goes on. I don’t want to hide my feelings. all I want to say is that though I may still love u I still choose to walk away bec ur not what I need. not anymore. I think my note clarified that ur ways and u are no longer welcome no matr wht I feel. U may think I showed sm weakness by admitting my love. on the contrary I think I finally conveyed to him that hey don’t think of me as weak just bec I love u. bec even if I do I still wont stand for yr bullshit.
I suppose I will look weak when I reach out to him and connect in a weaker moment. Anyways I am not planning to luk bac annie nor send any further messages. after my note he will not connect with me either I am sure. he with his massive ego will never respond.
And do not worry I don’t get offended by your opinion or views. I need support that’s why I come here. so alls well. and lots of love to u.
A golden oldie poster from way back then…..I Still get the alerts on here and read. I remember getting lots of support here and words of wisdom, thanks it helped and at one point I ran out of words to say and stopped.. It was a long distance relationship that ended abruptly and was a very sad episode in my life but I lifted myself up and moved on, dated some and carried him in my heart for quite some time’, a kind of connection I find very difficult to explain or understand.
Recently, after almost two years of silence, from me and from him, he connected back in wanting to meet up, regrets he said, at first I accepted and then thought better of it and told him why that would be a bad idea, vented a bit and quite a few exchanges between us which raked up the past… Some emotions, yes even from an aquarius! He will be sorry he opened that particular brand of can of worms :)) Dee, latest post, if I may interfere, look after yourself and do not go into la la land with him. You are doing the right thing by disengaging, it is the only way to get back your peace of mind, you will get there and renew. Ignore, go quiet on him and find somebody who deserves. As Annie who replied to you said, protect yourself, protect your heart, love is precious thing not to be given to just anybody. Very best.
Wise words indeed Elsey! I liked and understood your comment about the connection…….
Warmest wishes to you.
Annie
o thank you both of u. such nice words. annie and elsie.. yes that is the plan. to stay away completely. I don’t want to get weakened and give in. I really thot I was doing q well abt staying away and trying to do my own thing. I really did. the last xchange was v upsetting. I suppose bec I felt I was not at all over him. I felt quite affected and started dreaming and hoping again.
I went thru our 3 hour chat history aftr a day. and I realised there was not one thing he said which gave any indication that he has changed. or was comfy about letting me in unconditionally. he still hadn’t got clean with just what exactly he sought from me. I don’t know whtehr he knows just y he keeps msging me and what he wants from me.
I actually thot ovr this for a day and decided I just cant let him sneak in again ever. he will never change and he will keep screwing with my head. that’s why I wrote a harsh note and told him to leave me alone wid a few unkind notes. I wanted to hurt his massive ego so that he never connects wid me again. I thot it best I dnt have any temptations thrown my way to weaken my resolve again. that note was not v nice to ensure that he never connects with me ever again.
I suppose if we ever run into each other some time in future it wouldn’t matter any more. I was feeling broody a bit but now am getting bac in the groove again and feel great. I am happy I told him to go away and leave me alone. lotsa love and light to all of you. your words widout being very judgemental and crtical abt my weakness have really helped me. I cld open up and vent my confusion and hurt and anger. thanx a lot.
I would say poor him and not poor you. He has handed you a plate of stuff, you handed it right back to him. Let him digest it…process slowly, as they do. Let him think of what he once had and took for granted and then, slip away to a new horizon. bright days ahead!
I wish he would. think abt thngs. thngs wld have been so diffrnt today. But I doubt if they do. lol. the way u hv put it sounds gud.
Hi ladies. I haven’t posted here in feels like eons. There was no need,I pretty much wrote my Aquarius out of my life. Well he had a small part, the occasional texts hello and likes of my pics on social media.
Took some time and got myself together. Not for him for myself. Started a health and fitness journey and down 60lbs since I saw him last year. Our last encounter was 8/5/2013. That was until last night. We’d been chatting back with each other for a few days since I uploaded progress pics. He was telling me how amazing I looked etc. Anyway,I hinted at us just hanging out catching up. He said yes we’ll have to plan something. I said why plan let’s just be spontaneous, just let me know when you’re available. So yesterday afternoon I got a text asking me if I was up to driving to his city. He lives 80 miles away. I haven’t been anywhere in a while so I agreed. For me it was a much needed mini getaway.
Last night I gassed up my car and drove to him. We talked, laughed, had a great time. He showered me with compliments about my transformation. It was great. I hadn’t been with a man since being with him last year. Two adults of the opposite sex, attracted to one another, in a house alone together you all know what happens lol. It was amazing, the affection, the way he held me, kissed me. I stayed the night. We lay cuddled up together. It was everything. Sorry maybe too much information but I honestly didn’t expect to ever see him again. I know from browsing the posts previously it talks about how there may be years between seeing them. So this was funny to me as it had been 15months. Also, just like I read it was like we just picked right up from where we left off 15 months ago. It was great!
I do know now how to handle myself when it comes to an Aquarius so I’m not falling head over heels or have any expectations. Last night we both needed one another and we satisfied each other’s need. I called him like he asked to let him know I made it home and we chatted for a bit. However I won’t be running after him like I used to do. Just still kind of tripping over how I ended up staying the night with him after all that time. Funny those Aquarius’ aren’t they 🙂
hey there. peeped in aftr long. I suppose thng nvr really end fully unless smthng drastic happens. hws it going for u awsm airies?
after my last interaction which actually went well, I got cold feet and snapped all ties with him. and I followed that to the T. I had to visit his city in the last week of nov for some work. I went there called an old frnd and we had a few drinks. he talkd abt his love life and I did abt mine. that’s how mr aqua came up. he told me he had met Mr. aqua once for some work and that Mr aqua is a nice polite and v helpful guy. I told him there is nthing now btwn us but strangely if I msg him even now post 11 pm he wl def revrt. m sure of that. my frnd thot I was prob fibbing since mr aqua is q well known in his city. he goaded me so I msgd Mr. Aqua. and Mr. Aqua responded post 12 am. he said he is attending a party and why the hell didn’t I tell him that I was visiting his city!! so frndly and so warm. I was q surprised since the last time when I broke off I told him q a few things.
nywys I woke up the next day and went for my scheduled meeting. strangely whn I checkd my fone I saw missed call frm him. I was soo surprised. I cldnt call him bac since I was in a meeting but we chatted. he was sooo difrnt. llike a man in love. I cldnt believe it. I was on cloud 9. we mde plans to meet in the evening. bth so enthu. he told me hes in a conference and wld connect when hes free. by 8 pm when I didn’t hear from him I lost it and cursed myslf for trusting him. I msgd him a few thngs and told him I hate him. at 10 pm he msgd saying he just got free and he msgd me. and he said whats this?? u overreacted. u dint gv me a chance. nywys post 12 am he called me few tms we talkd on fone and he said let me come to u. when he realised I am q far away frm where he was he said lets meet sm other time since its too late and he dsnt know the way. I got so pissed again and said forget it.
ofcrse the next day I realised I had over reacted yet again and apologised. I said m sorry. he finally replied in the evening and told me nt to b so upset. it happens and its ok. and that he really likes me. and wants to try. but I was feeling so upset I told him I hv alrdy lft his city. but I hdnt. was just trying to come to terms wid thngs. my reaction. his open affection for me.
we actually chatted q a bit in the next few days aftr which he wet silent again. N I lost it in less thn 2 days. I told him this cant work. he replied aftr a day and told me what happend to me?? I said m not sure it can work btwn us. u act so close for 2 days and so distant for next 2 weeks. I just dnt understand. and few other thngs. he dint reply after that.
I thnk probably my biggest problem in all this is I expect too much and alwys react before thinking. even if he dint initiate convo for 2 days I shld hv gvn him his space and let him revert. I lost it and went on a long tangent. I really have no idea whether he will connect wid me agn or whether he will respond if I connect wid him again. but one thngs certain. I need to def work on me. I cant go over reacting each time. its just not done and is a deal breaker for sure. all I can say is the last 2 times btwn us, I hv caused undue pressure on us both and walked off. I have been dithering betwn yes and no and I hv screwed things.
hws thngs wid u shirl beyonder annie and need aqua help??
First things first
Happy Holidays everyone.
It’s that time of the year. I get excited for my Daughter bc her birthday is 9 days before Xmas.
She’s nearly as tall as me and I can’t stand it lol She’s going to be 10!
Now getting down to the hard knocks.
We had 2 more deaths in my Family in the past 3 Months.
My Grandmother’s Bro in law and her Sister who was 93. Was the first burial I’ve ever been to in my life, very emotional!
Grandma is about to turn 95 on the 21st and her health has taken a turn for the worse.
She was hospitalized for 5 days recently and is having a hard time shaking off this lung infection that she’s come down with.
On top of that I’m trying to work on getting her home health services to help me out.
So been super busy, occupied, stressed, emotional etc.
Now as far as Wilson(my aqua guy) is concerned.
I’m not going to boast or brag but, his communication has improved much.
Without me having to ask or message him first he communicates 2 to 3 times a week.
I’m happy with that and WE do love each other. That is all that matters.
With our lives being the way they are we can’t do anything but have patience with the other.
So we are doing ok right now.
Much Love to you all
Hoping all is going well for you Ladies(and gents?)
P.S
For Dee
Yes you need a lot more patience than you may have.
But since he did try to reach out I suggest trying to meet up on a day you both may have off.
A day that coincides for both you.
There’s nothing wrong with having high expectations as long as u meet each other half way,
And don’t ever apologize for being yourself.
Whether you overreact or not. That’s a part of you that he must love otherwise he wouldn’t reach out.
Remember, it’s not that they’re rude. You know better if when you’ve met he’s been nothing but kind and Gentlemanly no?
His work schedule overtakes his mind.
And since he is dedicated to his work you have to know/understand that he will be forgetful(not mindfully) about meetings and/or chats he has with you.
hey beyonder..nice to finally hear from u after ages. sad to hear abt ur probs. hope ur grand mom recovers. its alwys tuff as they get older. cnt do much i supose just try and mk them as comfy as possible. god bless u for taking care of her. shes lucky to hv u.
hppy b’day to ur daughter and happy holidays to all.
seems ur persistence n patience finally paid off. happy to hear. no I know I tend to over react at times . more so whn m particularly emotional abt a person or situation. I do want to break this chain and nt just for staying in a relatnship wid aqua but generally in life.
One thing I cant deny in all this mess is that he has never ever been rude to me. he has adopted silence many times. I suppose that’s his way of coping with stuff. but he has nvr used any harsh words on me. never ever retaliated no mater what I said. and this is probably the first time he opened up so much which he hadn’t done for ages. he said he wld love for us to go on a holiday to Maldives for few days. I gues that remains to be seen when.
but for the moment its silence though. m not sure who wl get in touch first this time. and whether the other will respond.
happy holidays to all.. much love… dee
Dee, you called. Well since I last posted, we split up but amicably. Just an agreement that we had not the same objectives and in the end, not an awful lot in common glueing us together, except extreme attraction which held us together for quite some time. Totally fine with that and in fact, since we split up, the communication is so much better and lighter with all that tension out of the way, a relief really, these guys seem to make much better friends than lovers. They are air to my earth and the two don’t mix well. But in the process, I have learned some and him too, so all is not lost. They definitely don’t want heavy and I gave him a bit of that and then some, he drove me to it. Hope you are well since your last post and that you figure it out. You will eventually. Sometimes when you have finished looking for the answer, the answer will come. Don’t even think of berating yourself for your over-reaction, hot and cold blows you to that. As Beyonder, says, do not apologies for who you are. No need. Hugs and blessings.
o nice to hear frm u aftr so long shirl. as long as u ok then things r alright. 🙂 hugs and smiles ur way. do u think u guys can just be frnds when thr is so much attrction? unless its a frnds wid benefit kind of frndship. I suppose that cld work. m sure u wld do just what will work for u shirl. 🙂
we are still in the silent zone and I don’t strangely feel the need at the moment to break the silence. I was a bit restless initially but I feel ok now. and to be honest I am enjoying the peace even though i do thnk abt him at tms. it was also a relief to hv him finally admit that he feels for me and that we do share a heart connect bec of which he wnts to stay in tch and cant help but respond whnever i msg.
as u said m trying to go wid the flow and hopefully one day the answer will be rt there in front of me. do peep in from time to time and stay in touch.. lotsa love and hugs..
shirl I thnk this time its the end. finally.
I just am not the type to be comfy wid long silences and he probably is not a big fan of my volatile nature. I just cant reconcile to few days of closeness followed by endless days of nothing. and u never know just what triggers those silent periods. whether he’s genuinely preoccupied or something I hv said which has offset him or something else altogether. I did ask him maybe we shd try to meet smwher midway. but he didn’t respond. I m exhausted by all this running arnd in circels that I finally saw no other way out but to end thngs yet again.
atlst u guys sat down and discussed. I didn’t even get to do that. they really are a mental drain.. and I m just too tired to feel sad anymore.
Hi Dee,
You seem to have made a decision. Any decision is a good decision because it means you are moving forward. It’s been a long time and I say that without judgement as sometimes it is hard to let go but let go you must to give yourself a chance to meet somebody who is worthy and loving and available and supportive and yes, somebody who respects you and your time and does not waste it. Respect is a huge thing. You have been more than patient with him and his dalliances.
As you say yourself, these guys are a mental drain and just not worth it in the end. It is also a new year and time for new beginnings, out with the old and in with the new. Give yourself a break and leave him behind in fantasy land. :):) Your next post will be all about the new guy you will meet!!!
As they say, lots of fish….Good luck, good wishes, and loadsa hugs.
hey shirl..Happy new year to you as well as all the wonderful ladies here and ofcrse aman.
yes I did end things bec I got fed up of his unpredictable silences which became sadly v predictable towards the end. I did give him many chances but it always turned out the same. And u know what? After weeks of silence he wished me HNY on the first. I wished him bac politely. but then thot what the heck.. and gave it to him today.
asked him u dint want to talk to me some weeks bac so y r u bothering me now wid ur NY wishes?? and if u ever wish me again on any occasion I swear I will personally mk it a point to come to his city and either break ur head or fone. :p told him r u mad or what? how many times do u want us to keep circling over nothing? u may want to for few more years it seems but I certainly don’t anymore. go play with his FWB lovers and let me be. And that m not his fall back or back up friend.
seriously. r these ppl idiots or what? he chose silence rather than talk bluntly wid me. and then when he is left alone he wants to wish me NY?? gawd. I cld hv slapped him today u know.
yes its gone on for long. we did hv our gaps and i did date in between but i suppose i didnt meet any1 interesting so i nvr really put my foot down and let him in whnevr he wntd to.
Ystrdy i was like totally fed up. I made it v v v clear to him. told him remove me from all his online broadcast list. no msgs on whats app. and that he dare not ever send me any wishes for any occasion. none at all. if u ever decide to behave like a normal human being unafraid to act normally and shw nrmal emotions, u may call. but dnt ever send me any msgs online. next time if ever there is a next time we talk it has to be in person or over fone. if thats too much for u then so be it. m fed up of ur silly confused behaviour. and if u want to love do it wid conviction or else forget abt me.
said many thngs and I finally feel relaxed. I swear that new year message gt me so pissed. I mean what the heck. u ignore sm1 for weeks and then he calmly says HNY? who the bloody hell does he think he is?
Good on you Dee!! That’s exactly what you needed to do, to get it all off your chest, all the resentment that has been building up, all the walking on eggshells so as not to intentionally upset them, worried of doing/saying anything that panics them. Probe and ask to many questions especially questions of the heart and watch them run for the hills and then keep you at arms length!
Aquarians from what I’ve read on here and my own Aqua all have this pattern of behaviour. Also Aquarians are very deep thinkers, free spirits, unconventional, will never follow the norm, they are very sociable and usually have many friends. They are extremely unpredictable so never be surprised if they turn up out of the blue, just be prepared not to let them back in, because they are arrogant enough to think you would! They are also very stubborn and can give out the silent treatment for what ever length of time that suits them, days, weeks, months, years! Lol
My Ex Aqua was all of the above but we also had a very happy,chatty, loving, passionate relationship in between. He definitely liked to steer the relationship though and when it was good it was perfect. And just when I thought things seemed to be getting serious he would steer the other way and do a complete u turn! Then dissappear!
I ended it last May, you can read my story further up, I have not heard from him since.
Love Lozzy
yes all that u say sounds very familiar to me. I did end things last year sometime mid term telling him since he doesn’t feel or think like I do lets call it a day. and I stuck to my guns and forgot all abt him. or atlst tried to.
he was the one who got in touch post that and after a month. always using any kind of festivities or occasions to maintain a connect and wishing me. I thot him getting in touch means he reciprocates what I feel. and so I tried to open dialogue again but with the same result. I finally stopped bothering altogether.
There were few tms when I felt he had started to thaw but each time same pattern followed. ofcrse his behaviour hurt me in the past but the last interaction somehw was the worst. he actually admitted his feelings and we discussed holidaying togthr!! and then in just few days he pulled the same stunt again. and it was like o god not again please. he is as involved in me as I am in him. so y shld he gv me the silent treatment just whn thngs start looking up??
I was q hurt and decided to stand firm. and broke of all contact with him. dint bothr wishing him xmas nr NY. he did! usually I ignore or just politely wish him back. but this time I gave him an earful. I don’t think he will connect again but even if he does what’s the point? he will pull his stunt all over again. but I simply refuse to suffer any more of his shit. what a waste..
@lozzy. I had read ur posts earlier but was a litl confused abt yr name.. I think U got a really bad deal. to go thru so much ill health harsh chemo treatment and be so concerned for him. and then to actually discover he was out in the market to date other women. these men are so stupid.
I cut off all excuses used by my aqua frnd to keep in tch wid me widout initiating dialogues. I just cut that supply. so game finally ovr for me too..
@ Dee. Hope everything has turned out ok since you posted last. Myself, I have left that story behind me now and moved on way past…this site has been a great with loads of very interesting exchanges…all amounting to the same thing. Blah. Leaving aside the aquarius slant on things, I stumbled upon a site with great advice about how to deal with a man who does all that wishy washy stuff, and leaves you bewildered, such was my case. Visit on http://www.baggagereclaim.com a whole new perspective on things and fabulous advice and posts. Good luck going forward in 2015 and blessings.
@shirl..thnx for ur msg and concern.. appreciate much. I don’t thnk any of my frnds can if I talk to them. u know its like u now know he’s a certified moron, so they expect me to just move on widout any kind of broody thots. I think this time I probably struggled more and felt more bewildered and hurt thn any of the previous times.
maybe one of the reasons cld be that I know now this is it. there is no escaping the fact or putting it off. I know even if he does get in touch its futile. I know even if he does respnd whn I get in tch with him, its futile. doesn’t mean anything. after finally admitting his feelings to go bac to the same old behaviour just goes to show nothing will ever change. a woman needs more then wht he is willing to offer.
self realisation, self motivation is imp. ppl may tell me to gv it/him up. but unless I want to deep dwn, I suppose I wont get around to doing it. Acceptance of reality and giving up all hope that’s difficult I suppose. and I think I am going thru that. so probably u can say I am actually for the first time letting myself feel the heart break of knowing this will never be and letting go of all the dreams however subconscious they may have been. I just cant accept and be happy wid what he has on offer.
When he reconnected aftr NY, I cld have simply let him re-enter like I alwys did in the past. kept living in the fools paradise. be accepting of the crumbs and giving it more meaning thn it deserved. it took me sm effort to close that door, m not v proud to say. sigh. I do fancy him even now u know. but its best to accept that its never going to be and just let go. which I have.
I read some articles on the site. and they were v insightful and interesting. EUM (emotionally unavailable men) they don’t want u but are not ready to let u go either. hence they keep throwing little crumbs ur way knowing ur a sucker and will fall for his meagre offerings. on my part I can say that I gave those little gestures of nothing too much meaning.
I think I shld be bac to normal in few weeks. acceptance and letting go was diff. but m ovr the tuff part. now I just need to heal. :-). focusing on my work and fitness levels for the present. hope ur doing gud shirl. keep posting updates to let us know ur doing gud. I shall do the same.
lotsa love n hugs ur way…
I just broke up with my aqua man yesterday and bumped into this site.Man this guy is best at being cold hearted. I am a Pisces,a very confident and strong minded pisces. Yes I needed his loyalty,but is that too much? I was the first one to confess love.He was 5 years younger to me,though he looked older. At first everything was so smooth and head over heels type of bullshit. I lived in a different country and he in a different one. So, he got all his freedom,space and time on his own which even I believe in to have..for the first two years we were so hooked on to each other via email,facebook,phone etc. and every time I would visit him he would be showing me deep affection and love,with no sex for those two years. Then he started being insecure and asking me nonstop questions about infidelity and i was just madly in love with him only. Then third year I visited him and he started ignoring me , I specially flew down for him and he planned trips with his friends.He kept on saying I am busy with exams,studies,presentations and blah blah..I thought not to interrupt and support him. But it was getting nowhere , no connection was felt,he was mentally abusing me with questions . I flew back to my country only to find out that I was pregnant and got it aborted ..This was the turning point.What a scumbag full of cowardliness he was. He started aloofing himself saying I am busy with studies. Never returning chats, calls, mails.And if he would talk he would talk about everything in the world,but about us.This relation ship went nowhere after 5 years.I didnot know what the heck he is made of and what did he want.He still wants to keep in touch ,God knows for what fucking reason.He loves being the arguer and never accepted his fault ever. He said I am scared of you leaving me.I am like you a*****e when I was waiting for you for all those last 3 years to see a change in you ,what the heck you were doing. Conversations with him were going no where, he was this mountain full of himself . And Now I found out he is having serious affair with his classmate in College since past year ,with plans to marry her. His friend told me he says he has never been in love with anyone like this before.WHAT!!!
I devoted 5 years to this Garbage.I am feeling like vomiting over what has happened.
Firstly I have to say you are not stupid. You were in a tough situation from the beginning. Yes there were red lights and warning signs but you loved him with a pure heart. He has seriously hurt you but at least you know the complete truth now. Believe that. No one can tell you how to feel or what you should do…. It will take a long time.
Don’t let him take anything else from you… Yes it is a brutal lesson. However you will find love again as you seem such a loving person.
I know it won’t be easy…….but you are so much smarter now. You know he showed you exactly who he was …… you just saw him through rose tinted glasses.. Love is never a bad thing just be very careful who you give your heart to!
With love,
Annie.
Annie
Thankyou so much for being here and read my trauma.
After his much anticipated requests, and not to be disrespectful to him,I called him.And he told me there is another girl in his life.He cares for her a lot. He doesnt like her boyfriend .I confronted if he love that girl..he replied I dont know.But I cant see her in trouble.My jaws dropped to hell.It shook my heart,mind and soul.He requested to speak with me to tell this ??!!! He as atypical aquarian didnot answer any of my questions in a understandable manner. I am drained from the bottom of my heart. He said I cannot love you the way I used to,but I want you in my life.Does any normal human have tendency to interpret what it mean? He said “I was tired of hearing you nagging everytime that you are not there for me” What!! I had an abortion,who should I have looked for???…HOLY !!! Now he says he wants to see me happy ,wherever I am, but should not leave him out of touch. Really??? And he said he has all the rights to fall in love.SO guys here is the proper definition of douchebag. He killed my soul one more time . Noone can understand such a human being. Let alone fall in love.In future he wants me to meet him,laugh,chat ,hang out and have fun !!!!…So he basically thinks I donot have a real life! I for he first time after listening to his crap did not cry.He asked me to call him again..WOW. Endless loads of shit and he is still not tired.Aquarians can really be too good at actually let you forget who you are, your reason for living,they will suck you soul, your heart,hammer your mind with spring like conversations which will definitely never end to a healthy point. God help those who are in love with aquarians.
Thank you and sorry I don’t know your name…..I have read all you have written and I would only like to help but in that you may not like what I have to say. I understand it is easy for me as I am not personally involved.
You say you contacted him because You wanted to be respectful ……. why he hasn’t shown you any? Still once again you tried with decency. However he did explain that he could’nt love you the way he did before …he found this other girl. He has told you the truth.
Typically he wants to have his cake and eat it and I have to say to you that people treat us the way we let them and sadly that is your responsibility.
Love is not going to visit someone by plane and he can’t even turn up! That certainly would have been the end for me! It is not saying to yourself oh I know he needs to study and has no time for me. I won’t even mention other horrendous things you have been through on your own without his support not to mention love.
Please see him for what he is and half of you does… Your responsibility is to convince the other half. Love yourself and everything else will fall into place. At this point in time he can only offer you much of the same and I would say will loose even more respect for you for allowing this.. Sadly the choice is yours only. Be strong, set high standards because you deserve it. I know you have called yourself stupid and the only thing I can say is this is your common sense telling you to go anywhere near him would be completely STUPID! If he can’t make up his mind after all this you really shouldn’t have any trouble.
With much love,
Hugs
Annie.
Hey Annie
I know dear,I had been acting way too goody goody. I am glad I am pretty strong enough now not to be fooled by his fake love. Thankyou so much for your insight . He was never actually emotionally available for me ,yet he doesnt want to lose me just to stay in touch sake.
Lots of hugs
stupid
To not so stupid…..stay smart!
Take care
Annie 💐
Hey Beyonder
I read all of your posts .My oh my I could relate to every single word of your love story.Everything that happened to you,a few parts were exactly repeated in my story. Aquarius man doesnot like to be followed too frequently over any thing. They are die hard fan of themselves.They love themselves more than anyone else. Thats why they always have the dominant last say in all the relationships. I put whole life on hold for this guy, I actually even had to consult about my mental state,lol, to confirm if i am mentally sound or not,cause I was into this very long hibernated state of mourning and denial that he actually is changing colors evry now and then and doesnot love me suddenly. They run like anything from the word “connection or commitment” . One day they will be crazy for you and then for 6 months they will be like :hello , oh I forgot you were on my “friend” list. Extremely self absorbed people and I would say from my experience they really take good care of themselves, putting others in a “teaching lesson” type of experience to learn for yourself. I learned a lot from this relationship ,this much that I for the rest of my life,atleast cannot be fooled for love.Its so true they cannot see you with other man,yet they must be having affair with other new found “exciting” females. This man looks for new stuff all the time,right from the day he is born.He gets definitely bored of being followed and staying in touch with same person all the time. So eat it out girls,digest it,permanently get it fixed in your brain that this man cannot stay hooked with you more than 6 months.Thats the ultimate limit for aqua, because he will no doubt sniff and find new interests ,cause he cannot live without it. And ofcourse he is a lier,a big time ahole lier,just to give you the words you want to listen,to keep you quiet, he is never telling you the real truth of any situation,let alone love.its in his veins,vessels,blood,bones,balls,skin and mouth. Aquarius loves lying cause it convinces them that this is the way that will make others to dance on their tunes,which boy they love.They love to deny every truth that is caught off guard about them.They deny till eternity to save their bleached ass.I am pouring my heart out here cause I just got done with a very mean aquarius.I really wish from the bottom of my heart that noone else be treated like this.Let God send some “brain” to love ourselves before we are at the verge of losing our life.
One more thought the way he wanted me to behave I behaved. thats what didnot workout for us. He knew it very well that I was waiting for him and I told him.NEVER do this guys.NEVER. The time they know you are waiting,they feel like king of the badass world.and there they are HAPPY and delighted,at the cost of your screaming heart and butchered soul.
God bless you all my friends.
Love yourself.
Stupid.
HI there (stupid)? Silly name! hehe
Well it’s been a very long time since I’ve posted or responded. I can’t believe I missed your message. I just was looking through my email and saw the last person’s post.
I don’t know if I should keep this long or short. But………. let me say that after all I’ve shared, and after all the venting……..
That me and my aqua guy are still together and will make almost 4 years in July;.
If you want to know why or how? I can only explain it like this:
Comparing how I was in the beginning to how I am now, there’s a huge difference. Cause in the beginning I was a lot more clingy and hated the mystery and the uncertainty of HIM and ME right?
Well like I’ve said before: I’m a lot more like him than I though bc I love my space. Plus we both have similar situations where we both have sick Parent’s to take care of.
He realized that I’m a good Woman and that he wants to keep me in his life. He’s even said he has loved me. I know shocking right?
(You need patience keeping them around, otherwise you will lose them trying to make haste of a new thing)
But don’t get me wrong, we still don’t discuss marriage. It’s like a take it one day at a time thing with us. (him and me)
Just know that with them WORK comes before everything, Most times Family and Friends will suffer bc they’re so enthralled with their business endeavors that they forget they have loved ones who need to hear from them every now and then.
Of course they like being flattered but don’t go heavy on the love talk. That’s what puts them off. It’s the subtlety that works
That is what I’ve done. And as someone who hates confrontation, whenever I’ve had something to say to him I bring it up in a subtle matter. I never yell, or talk down to him EVER. And he has been the same to me. Patient, respectful, gentle and so on.
I’m not trying to brag but I haven’t felt a need to post since he and I have been doing really quite well. I don’t feel clingy to him any more actually. We both know that the other has a life with out them and that we would be fine but we realize we are really good together. Like yin yan?
I know the majority of them seem like players but it’s that they have no time for love affairs. No time for courting or chasing. They’d rather lure you in until they know they have you at the palms of their hands. Play a little bit then make you leave. Not all of them do this though.
I think in the beginning of his and my relationship, he had no plans on making it to 4 years with me.
And now we’re here. Still together. But……………
Am wondering where Dee, Aqua to Aqua and the rest are?
Cleaned your hands of them? Found new loves? I guess I need to go back up and read.
Well here’s an update about my Grandma.
She’s 96 now and has alzheimers and yes, I’m taking care of her full time. My Daughter is 11 now and about as tall as me and Gorgeous and I can’t stand it! (rolls eyes)
I hope you all are happy and healthy and living wonderful lives full of love and passion and with other hot things that go bump in the night 😀
Blessings
P.S
If you have any questions feel free to ask and I will get back asap!
Aquarians I just can’t make up my mind about them?
I broke up with my aqua guy ex for 1,5 years. I hope we can still be friends, but he pretend like he dont even know me. It was his decision to break up with me, he is 18 y.o, so I think he dont think like adult and behave like child. The way he act to me makes me confused what I did wrong(?)
I broke up with my aqua guy ex for 1,5 years. I hope we can still be friends, but he pretend like he dont even know me. It was his decision to break up with me, he is 18 y.o, so I think he dont think like adult and behave like child. The way he act to me makes me confused what I did wrong(?) help me
Hello my name is Sasha ima cancer woman im 24 .I have known this Aquarius man he’s 22 for about 4 years maybe longer we have always been friends always speaking when we c each other laughing n talking ab real stuff but never really flirting (I was in a relationship for 2 years out of the time me and him have known each other) but we would still always talk when we seen each other we have never been alone together until last night but we weren’t really alone bc my kids were here he stayed while I cooked dinner and we watched a movie with my kids n he was going to stay the night we have hung out a few times over the last week but not at my house so anyway last night my kids had finally fell asleep and we were laying side by side watching TV but his head was at my waist n I started playing with his hair twirling it between my fingers and he was expecting a friend to bring him something so about that time I started playing with his hair his friend shows up and he acted like he was just going out there to grab whatever as he had already told me he was staying the night had a bag and everything n then goes out there n never comes back he left without saying a word…..weird or naa?
Hello everyone, this is an amazing discussing and sharing place! I just found this out today and can’t help reading through it and writing my comments here.
I deleted the contact number of the Aquarius man I dated in the past 4 months (no, actually 3 months, we couldn’t make for a meeting for the 4th one). The comments are so right about them. They like you but can’t spend time with you. They’re so busy with every other stuff and will disappear from time to time.
I’m a Scorpio, a cautious/active type. They’re selfish and vulnerable when they’re losing something they WANT (remember what they want is very important, you can’t push things on him if he doesn’t WANT!) That’s why in the beginning we matched well because I don’t care much. If I was not happy with what he acted, I just left him alone.
But I was so good at analyzing his texts/time/schedule which also trapped myself to him! When I started expressing my complain (just a little bit but in a very friendly way), he would also do in that way but still WANT what he wanted. So I gave up my way and let him to do whatever he wanted. If I left him alone, he would drag me back to talk to him.
Of course, he cancelled things at last minute and brought up a lot of plans but never acted. If he mentioned something which I forgot, he wouldn’t care. If he was keen to do something that I postponed, he would be disappointed like a kid. If he planned to do something that I couldn’t do, he would be unhappy and arrange plans with others instead of proposing another plan with me, because that’s what he WANTED! I’ve ignored all these bad habits of him and started to talk as a friend at that time, we haven’t met for 2 weeks! You can see how insisting what he wanted. The hint from him is like: you have to follow my way. If not, I’m not meeting you. And he was really good at pretending nothing has happened.
After up and down for 3 months without any face-to-face argument (I’m also a type of avoiding confrontation), he was absolutely back to what he was. The trigger of his disappearing act was his grandma pass-away. I don’t believe he was completely lost in his own world to handle this. He absolutely was talking to someone who was more important than me to share the feelings. But he told me he was busy for sorting out of things. This guy asked me involving his apartment/furniture stuff but not this specific issue. I said some words to support him. His reply was: I KNOW!!! All these were absolutely understandable under this situation until he avoiding meeting me but showing up in a party and he texted me lightly to ask: how are you, when he was back from hometown. I was joking with him that he was back from the other planet. From that point, the guy completely disappeared. Maybe he sensed I doubted him. He was so scared of confrontation.
I was suffering frustrations, hurting over the past days. I played lightly in front of him and controlled my emotion most of time and tried to compromise myself and played cool when we’re dating. At last, he just walked away in such a respectful-less and rude way without a real concern about me but only with concerning his arrogance and his nice way. He didn’t want to confront any negative emotions and comments, even he is an experienced guy. That’s his way. I can’t do anything with it. Either change myself or walk away. I can do compromise and adjust with boundaries. I managed myself to calm down these days and started to work on my life details. We all have futures. Why staying and suffering?!
So my experience sharing: don’t obsess knowing what he is doing and how he behave. Use his way. If you don’t care much, they may come to you. If you pull back and think through what you really want is him, then you try to change/adjust yourself.
hey beyonder.. m free today and was just browsing thru and remembered this blog… o my gawd..time flies. but I feel we are still frnds connected to each other thru our stories..
I didn’t get together wid my aqua guy. he liked me but was never luking for a serious relationship wid any1 I think. but through it all he kept in touch and well I did respond to his texts. we havn’t met for ages.
I do go out and meet other men. casual dates though. never really met any1 very interesting over the past few years.
I almost got engaged and married. told my aqua guy abt it. he asked me am I sure? and do I really love him. made me think long and hard. I realised I wasn’t in love so dint go ahead. but thru it all kept in reg contact wid the aqua man. that was in dec and its now april.
on a casual conversation once wid the aqua I just I gues mentioned as part of the conversation that yeah I fell in love in the first meeting itself. but that its ok. happens. he told me y dint I ever tell him that? I shld have. he said he likes me a lot and he too doesn’t think of me as just a frnd. he would like to spend time wid me if I was ok wid that and see if we can be in this for a long haul. that was in feb end. he made plans to come and meet. some fault of mine and a bit of his, we cldnt meet that week. I was heart broken. and snapped all ties with him.
its just last week I came to my senses and realised I acted too hastily and pinged him. he responded immediately. he told me I am the one who always walks away. I never hang arnd to see things thru. that he has alwys been arnd and has always msgd me no matr what. I asked him how to go abt things. he said he wants to invest his time and energy on us and wants us to hang out. only thing is we are 4 hrs apart and live in difrnt cities. he has become communicative and initiates contact now. I duno what the future has in store and this seems like a new romance.
one thing I have realised though its been 4 years. he has always been there at the back of my mind.
but not to get too hopeful, I am trying to take this one day at a time. positive is being in tch for the past 4 years we now know each other well and also know how the other will react to a particular situation. he thinks m childish, full of drama but also that am attractive, smart and sensual. he now admits we do share a special bond.
Most of my frnds think I am an idiot for letting him in. but they are not in my shoes. and they don’t feel what I feel. so they can never understand. I have met men in the past few years. dated some and almost got engaged.
but I guess meeting him again and going thru this was possibly meant to be and so here we are. hes still very busy wid his varied businesses and long working hours. a successful entrepreneur wid his fingers in lot of pies. he has told me not to get hassled if he dsnt reply immediately. to just remember he is tied up in work and that he wl get back just as soon as he can. so I have m fingers crossed this time round and hope things work out well since both are now mature wiser. happiness and love to all..
love dee, xxx
beyonder ur grandmother is lucky to have u. and ur gud deeds will def be rewarded. I some how felt that u wld still be wid ur aqua and u r. 🙂
my aqua got in touch wid me in nov. just soon after I lost my dad. and I first ignored his msg. but then responded and talked to him. its from there onwards we started communicating again. all thru the past years either I msgd him casually or if I din’t he made it a point to alwys ensure that he got in touch if he hadn’t heard from me for weeks. there have been instances that he has got in touch after even 3 mnths of silence. he always wntd to stay in touch. and wld respond instantly the min I msgd him.
beynder I realise now that I do indeed love this man truly and deeply. its just something that was alwys there since the first day I met him. I cant change it whatever the future holds. have made peace wid that. he will alwys occupy a part of my heart. this time round he knows exactly how I feel and I know how he feels.
gud points abt him. no matter how much I last out or get mad at him he never retorts. is alwys the sweetest and never ever says anything which is rude or cld hurt me. I goad him and prod him but he never loses it. its a strange connection. truly. I alwys know no matr what if I msg him he will respond. and I think he knows no matter what I will alwys be there for him. it was never out in the open but now it is.
hes told me he alwys liked me more then a lot but he dsnt know why he never did anything abt it. maybe he was just not mentally ready.
Hey Dee
Sending my heartfelt condolences to you. So very sorry for your loss. How are you doing? Besides your love life? How are you coping? As someone who lost 5 relatives in 4 years, it can be hard if you don’t realize that they are no longer suffering in this Hell we call earth.
I send all my love, light and prayers to you and your Family Dee.
I’m about to run out to do laundry as soon as her Home attendant arrives so will be back to finish what I wanted to write
xhugsx
o thanx beyndr. m doing well now. I was under depression and even wndered y I shld go on. my father’s death was v sudden. and i ws out of town when it happened. u sudnly qstn life and its meaning. tuk me more then 2 months to snap out of my darkness and make effort to pick up strings of my routine life. I still miss my dads presence but have learnt to miss him with a smile. thanx for ur heart felt msgs..
beynder I cant believe honestly how I can still be as interested in my aqua guy. I mean its been 4 years! have met men, had experiences liked them. contemplated future marriage wid them but cldnt go on wid it. the aqua was never like always obviously in the front of my head. but hes always been a part of my thots.
life is strange. in terms of what I dint do rite wid the aqua? I wld get agitated when he dint respond. and the more hours went by the more irritated i got. and then the next day it wld be an ego match in terms of ignoring him or maintaining stoic silence on my part. every few days I wld get exasperated and walk out telling him nvr to get in tch again. after few mnths I wld msg casually or mostly he wld get in tch casually.
in feb we finally talked. he told me u always walk out dee. if u must have noticed I never have walked out on u. am alwys der and alwys present. and i alwys respond when u get in touch. we are in touch reg. he msgs me every day. and has told me again like alwys to nt get hassled if he dsnt revert immediately. m planning to be an understanding frnd this time and stick it out and nt lose it over things which he has anywys apprised me about.
we both have decided we will get to know each other well and spend time together. if this is it then we will think of long term. I have promised that I will be more understanding of his hectic schedule and no matr how angry I get I wont walk out this time.
I am not a very religious person. but after my dads passing, I have learnt to turn to him and I do talk to him. I feel safe and know that my dad is arnd me taking care of me always. I feel close to my dad and I think and its my strong belief that if dad thinks my aqua is the man for me, he will get me back wid my aqua. I have left to my dad and whatever happens wl be bec of dads will. so I have kind of reconciled with the future. and am at peace.
Hello Dee, I used to post here many moons ago and I still get the alerts. I remember you well! I am sorry for the sad loss of your dad, it is always a difficult time and I hope that over time, you get some comfort. As for your aquarius story, I don’t think anybody would ever blame you for losing patience with him, I think you have been exceedingly compromising and understanding and it does sound like a most unusual situation, even for an aquarius!! You will have to flush him out:):) As you say, it is nobody’s business but your own and you are the one who most understands the situation and will deal with it in your own way. I wish you the best of luck. As for me, I finally called it a day with the aqua guy I was seeing, he too tried my patience and he didn’t seem to know what he wanted. We tried friends with benefits but I was not happy with that, it is just not me so we agreed to differ and parted ways (amicably) and we are in touch sporadically. But yes, I must admit, if you go by the stars, then he was a sterotype aquarius. Coming and going,(popping up when I would least expect) staying a bit on the fence, freedom loving and yes, a touch eccentric. If I were to sum up the thing that frustrated me most was his aloofness and distance and he did not even have to work at it! It came naturally to him. Each time we parted, I would always wonder if it would be the last time and you cannot continually live in that kind of uncertainty. I am relieved not to be part of that anymore. Hope you fare out better. Have a great weekend.
i had posted my comment ystrdy but I don’t think it got posted. shirl hws u?? ofcourse I remember. we used to discuss aqua traits. lol. yes for it to work I need to be extremely patient. which I am not.. : D ..
we started talking reg only after few months post my fathers death. he had connected out of the blue in Nov last year. that’s how we got back in the mode of occasional communication again. we weren’t really involved. infact I was at that point in life seeing or in the process of making myslf get interested in a guy since he was eligible. lol. when the aqua connected, I told him m thinking abt getting engaged. he tried his best to ensure I don’t. I wondered y shld he care. nywys we got seriously talking only in feb this year. but I walked out on him soon and we reconnected in April. we have been in reg communication since then.
so well even though we have been in sporadic touch over the years we have never been involved as such. shirl its nt abt the physical thing. its more at a deeper mental level. I tried to connect wid a cpla other men as well in the past 3 mnths but I feel nothing. I have no idea what the future has in store. just taking one day at a time. 🙂
and shirl..thnx fr ur kind words and ur condolence msgs. :-). I hv reconciled to the fact that my dad is not coming back. whn m confused and sad, I remember him and pray to him or talk to him. whatever u may call it.
how r things otherwise with u? r u dating sm1 new? whats the new scene shirl? 🙂
Hey Everyone, I’m back with an update. And it has nothing to do with my Aqua guy.
About 2 weeks ago I had to call 911 for Grandma bc she was having abdominal pains. Let me get to it: they found a bowel obstruction which was operated on about a week later. After they attempted to help it move with fluids to no avail. She suffered a heart attack during the surgery and it wasn’t looking so good. Then she was stable so they removed the breathing tube.
She had fluid in her chest. And come Wednesday night they had to put her on the respirator again bc she couldn’t breathe. By then she was critical, unstable and septic.
Yesterday, the Doctor’s informed us that we’d have to make the decision between letting them do a tracheotomy and putting her in a nursing home(which she would not have wanted) or, removing the tube and leaving the rest in God’s hands…… Of course they’d make her comfortable.
Well today they removed her from the breathing tube.
We were all in the room when I gave her permission to go.
However, I had to leave to get my Daughter as they would drop her off from school and apparently, about 5-10 minutes after I left she passed.
I’ve never experienced such a loss. I know she’s in a better place and no longer suffering but, she took half my heart with her. And if I didn’t have my Daughter I don’t know what I would do with myself.
I apologize for giving TMI but This is really the hardest thing I think I’ve ever been through in my life.
And I’ve communicated this with my aqua and he apologized for not knowing what to say. At least he acknowledged that. I told him: All that matters is you being there.
So tmrw morning we are going to make the funeral arrangements.
Time to take care of me. Time to have a different life now. And time to evolve in my spiritual journey.
I’m going to share a link to her favorite music. Mind you she was born in Puerto Rico.
She lived to be 96. Not many people get to say that ❤ 😦
Hope everyone is doing well, blessings to you all
this is Beyonder33 btw o.O
hey beyonder. my heartfelt condolence to you. yes shes in a better place and it was time. sending peace and love ur way.. tc
Sorry about your loss Beyonder and my condolences. I am sure she is happy in her new place eventhough you must miss her terribly. I am glad also that Aquaman was there for you. It is important at these times. Take care. Dee, hope you are doing good too and thank you for your updates.
shirl m fine. had a short break up again wid the aqua.lol. now back in tch. life is gud. hw are things wid u shirl?
how u doing beyndr?
Hey Dee, I’m ok. Taking it day by day. Still cleaning out the apartment(slowly but surely). Grandma had a lot of stuff so I need to look through everything and toss what isn’t needed/important.
All in all I’m ok. Certain things will trigger the tears like: A phone call from her health insurance or looking at her pic.
And all the while I’m doing this, I’m going to work on my weight loss and improving my health.
Since December I (unfortunately) had to go on Blood pressure meds which is something I did not want. And I know what I need to do to get myself off them.
Next step will be to look for work.
I hope you’re ok. You too Shirley (thank you)
Love, light and hugs to you all xoxo
❤
Hey Dee and everyone who reads.
Here’s an update for you.
1. I found a job pretty quickly, in retail. It’s only part time but something is better than nothing. For now. I plan on going for my Certificate as an HHA or working in a school with little kids. But not for a couple Months.
2. I’m pretty sure me and my Aqua are done.
I saw him Thur, but shortly before he left I asked him that question that I’ve asked him before a few times throughout our rel.
I asked: So you still haven’t told anyone about me? Not Family nor friends? Of course he said no. He was having a sort of nervous smile about it. I asked him WHY? to which he replied: Because I’m very private about my personal life. So I let it go that day but, the next day, Friday…… not so much.
I sent him a Text because I couldn’t hold back how I’ve been feeling/thinking any more. I told him that I feel like I”m not important to him. And a few other words about how it’s been very heavy on my mind. All I heard back from him that evening was: I’ll message you later. Still nothing.
Ok I know how they can get all in their heads. They forget because they get busy with work or they simply do not respond well to anything appearing as a confrontation.
Now I’m starting to feel like he’s hiding something from me.
So he will force me to do something I really don’t want to do.
Yes I’m fed up, yes I feel I deserve better. and yes it feels like I’m not important to him.
Seriously????? I know a Male cousin said it to me when I asked: Can a Man be in a rel. 4 years with a female and not care for her? He said: Yes cause Men are assholes. These were his words! Ok I know my aqua cares about me. But something is wrong I feel. Maybe he’s living a double life? Maybe he is just private or maybe just maybe, after 4 years…..he still has no intentions of taking our rel. .to the next level?
And if that’s the case I can’t do it any more. I deserve better and refuse to put up with his secrecy!
This isn’t me just thinking with my heart….it’s me thinking with my head.
I will update soon when/if I hear from him.
You can think all you want about what I said to him being wrong..idc any more. I’m not getting any younger and I refuse to feel this way any more. I’ve put his comforts before mine for too long………… no more!!!!!!
{He has met at least half my Family, he came to Grandma’s funeral and I know he’s not ashamed to appear with me in public so. It’s got to be something about HIS Family. Maybe his Family is weird and he feels we may not mesh? But how would I know that!????
Yep this is me……………FED UP and all. SIGHS}
Hi Beyonder, I guess if he has stuck around for 4 years, then it must mean something ! I hope there has been a positive development since last you posted and that he got back to you.
Four years is a long time and I think (as you do) by now you should have met his family and friends many times and you should be integrated in his life.
As you say, there could be any reason for this. Maybe he is not proud of them but then I think you have demonstrated remarkably that your love for him is unconditional and he should not worry about your reaction, if indeed that is the reason. Maybe you need to impose yourself. I did this with my ex-aqua. I just invited myself along to where he lived, kind pounced it on him and he was fine, he just did not think I needed an invitation. He had nothing to hide (although we are now split up, for other reasons). Be a bit pushy. Well you and Dee get the prize for the longest running aqua stories so don’t give up now! It could all be quite innocent. I am between men (literally) but to be honest, if I were to meet another aquarian, I would have serious misgivings. I have had relationships with two of them and I found both to be extremely complicated, aloof to the point of total detachment and both definitely functioned better in groups. I found the lack of stability to be very disconcerting, on today and off tomorrow. I suffered a lot even though I was mad about the two of them. For the time being, I am enjoying this sea of tranquillity! Best to you and good luck with the studies. xoxo
Hey Shirley
Yea we’ve texted. He admitted he’s not good with confrontations. I mean I’m not either but I can’t let something eat me up inside. We’ve spoken back n forth, via text like always. This is another thing I get tired of. I want him to pick up a phone and call. I want him, when he wants to SEE ME to actually say: Spend time, instead of hang out! What are we teenagers?
And yes Shirley I know his current address. (the one he moved to about 7 plus Months ago) He didn’t tell it to me! I found out on my own. This is what I meant when I said: He’s gonna force me to do something I don’t wanna do. Go pay him a surprise visit. I just need that validation you know?
Worse case scenario: He lives with a Female other than his Mom and has a rel. with her or worse, a kid o.O……… This is the shi7 I think/worry about. This is why I want to meet at least one person in his circle. I want THEM to know that I exist.
Is that really too much to ask for??????????
Just waiting to see him again so I can say all of the above, and more!
I hate having to ask if he loves me in order for him to say it.
My best friend of almost 30 years said it: It doesn’t matter if you’re with him 10 years or 10 months. Things aren’t going to change. You can be as patient as you want but things will remain the same. So leave things alone. Leave it be. Maybe distancing myself from him a bit will make him realize what he wants/needs in this rel.?
I don’t know if it sounds like I’m talking out of my arse but I’m () this close to saying adios to him.
I really don’t want to end things with him and cannot imagine starting a new rel.(the thought makes me wanna almost puke)
This is my 3rd rel. in a row where he has never introduced me to anyone in his circle. Starting to sound like something is wrong with me?!!!!
Patience Patience patience patience 😦 ;*(
Wow! That is a beautiful description of my almost ten year aquarian boyfriend. Most of i already knew, but i was getting frustrated again at him always taking my words and adding more to them and telling me what “i really meant”.. Im older than him by 6 years and also a gemini. We usually always will be thinking the same thing at the same time and its cool to have someone say just what u were thinking. I really agree with what he wants because its things that will strengthen our family and ourselves. Sometimes i dont know how to say it right i guess i will sound stupid or un-genuine to him. He is straitforward and funny and i love him so much. I just want him to be happy, i want him to be happy with me. He is the most awesome man ive known and that sparkle in his eyes is what drew me to him. I thought it was just me lol when i first met him i just really wanted to be his friend he just lit up the place somehow. And now that i know him he is evrything u could want in a person and more. Im so glad i read this cuz im not mad anymore i just love him! Im so glad im a patient woman lol.. My libra daughter is constantly telling me to chill on my reactions to what he says when i take it personally. Shes right, hes right, and sometimes im right too he is always thanking and complimenting me. I try to do the same but i feel cheezy so i mostly just try to take care of his needs lol like cleaning and making good food and help him find his stuff.. Any way i wish i could say this stuff to him its just easier to write for me. I was gonna rant about the stupid lil arguments that get blown outta proportion “cuz of him” but that calmed me down! I gotta save it and print and read and chill next time i get mad! I love my February 10 man!!!
Sorry i meant weve been together nearly 10 years.. Ive never posted anything before so i dont want my first one to sound like a weirdo lol.. I truly love him and i think he truly loves me too.. We have a son thats so awesome and will be 2 in january, also an aquarius born on the 24th. I have 3 teenage daughters 15,14&14 and he is def diff lol but the best baby! Sleeps all night, plays eats naps poops and def his fathers son. Why should i worry right? Why do i take evrything my boyfriend says like it is the judgement on me? And the way i get mad is say a bunch of sarcastic stuff and then spic and span the place! Then get his lunch and clothes ready for him.. In a really fast way. Bit if i forget about the argument he usually does too and i love that about him! And i cant really stay mad at him.. I think were so good together, and i would be heartbroken if we really did separate. I wouldnt be with anyone else. Im 36 hes 30 and as far as i kno and really believe we have never cheated, no kiss,no nothing with anyone else. When its good, its really nice. When its bad, its really ugly. Never physical, just saying the nastiest shit about me and none of its true. Then he will say i like being the nastiest bla bla bla… Then when we get up the next morn its like oh nothing happened, hey sexy mama lets do it lol.. I remember tho and im still pissed! Then later he will say sorry and it sucks cuz i never nag him or say rude things to him even when its being thrown at me. Anyways that was why i was mad but i do love this man so im happy to forget and just try do my best 2mro to see he has a good day
hey there..beyndr and shirl..:-) i checkd this site after ages. gud to read your posts. M not with my aqua guy anymore. it was crazy and to be fair i cant put the blame only on my aqua. m too volatile and hes too cool. tht is how i would sum it..:-).
we were like normal cpl in a LDR for a while. just when things were going grt his father suffered a stroke and we got put on a back burner. just when things started to gt back to nrmal well almost, he had too many work pressures so again we got put on a back burner. one episode. i called at 11 pm and i just lost it. he was in the midst of a meeting and he told me he will call me back the next day to talk. but i was soo fed up i threw a biiig tantrum and that was that. this keeps happening. on and off.
once during our off period, i was planning to visit his city. so msgd him that i wld be in your city on fri and sat. if you like we cld perhaps meet on sat for a bit since i wld be busy on fri? he responded immediately and said he wld love to meet on sat. strange thing is that friday it rained so heavily where I lived so i postponed my plan to visit his city to next day, i.e sat. i dint inform him since i had plans to meet him only on sat afternoon. he msged me on friday afternoon and asked me whr i was staying and my evening plans for friday in his city. he thot i was in his city. I shld hv come clean n told him i had postponed my trip to sat and sunday instead of fri and sat but i dint. just reminded him that we hv plans for saturday and not firday. he agreed but still throughout friday evening right up till midnight he kept msging and asking me to meet him. it was soooo crazy. he wldnt leave me alone. he asked me if i was on a special date and therefore not meeting him? he even offered to meet me post my dinner and told me he was ready to meet me at 12 midnight post my dinner, post 1 am, 2 am whatever was convenient. he told me he wld come over and meet even at 3 am. whatever.. when i kept saying no, he even suggested meeting at 7 am for erly brkfast the next day. he said he will be tied up the whole day in meetings since he was flying out of the country on sat evening. i said nope. I cldnt meet him u see on firday since i was still stuck in my city due to rains. and i cldnt meet him early the next morning too at 7am since that was the time i planned to leave my city to reach his. i wld have reached his city not before 10 am. it was tooo late to tell him i hadnt even come to his city on friday. i regret that so much. i had never seen him act so desperate as on that friday and the irony is this is what i wanted for ages to see some sign on his side. but i cldnt do anything nr come clean. as you may have guessed he sulked on sat and did not meet me. he finally got in touch on sat evening when he was on the way to the airport. back to his normal cool distant self. i cldnt really do anythng.
after that episode things cooled between us. he thot i had rejected him and well that was that. it has been crazy and chaotic. but we are not on for the present. last time i learnt that his drinking has escalated. i screamed at him and told him has he lost it? to stop abusing his body. and he said something like u know what dee? malt and men are great when single… i was so pissed i just kind of gave it to him. told him not to worry since I no longer have any designs on him. alcoholics are not my thing..and def not alcholics who are serial womanisers… and on and on. i was q mean. :-(. that was 2 months back. we have not really gt back after that..
i am seeing sm1 else but i dont really see a future with this other guy. i did get in touch casually wid my aqua some weeks bac but he acted cool. was polite but distant. i dont blame him. i was q mean to him when i told him alcoholics leave me cold.. and that i no longer feel anything for him. when m too mean, it takes him a while to come around. i am also trying to keep a frndly distance this time.
will keep u guys updated if smthing serious develops with this other guy. fingers crossed.
whats happening with you guys???
beyonder.. gud u got a job and are pursuing studies. i think you are caught up in the cycle and unable to let go.. 4 years indeed a long time. u guys share a proper intimate relationship. so i really dont understand the secrecy he wants to hold on to.. he has met some of ur frnds. why is he soo reluctant to let u in dsnt make sense to me. how does it matter if his frnds know hes seeing u??
i agree shirl i am also smwhere caught up in this aqua man trap and unable to cut off ties completely. but in our case we have alwys lived in different cities and never really hung out together. we have been in touch on and off. i do meet other men and have hung out with them. i think i have become so comfy with this thing. hes smwhere there and faaar away. maybe i need to figure myslf too. Am i afraid of real intimacy?? maybe m deep down comfy with this distance thng? i kind of live parallel lives i feel. maybe we both are hppy with the distance thing? afraid of real inimacy and thats y it has dragged on for so long? maybe we are just convenient fallback? strange this but we still havent been intimate.. can u understand that? but there is no dbt he wants me. and vice versa. why would we postpone the slping together for so long? maybe it will change the equation totally? maybe it wont?? i guess we are both afraid to find out..
we chatted a bit last evening after ages. general chat. he askd me when i was next visiting his city. i said not in the near future. and then i asked him. what abt u? he said i will be down next week to my city. so well he is still keen to meet. all i know is i need to stop being afraid and tackle the bull by its horns.
the other guy still arnd. will keep u guys posted..:-)
i am with a 50 yr old aqua man, i am leo with aqua rising. He claims to have exhausted his old ways and is ready to settle down, buy a house together, marry, etc. Yet we’ve been together only 4 months. Says i am the only woman he has felt this strong for, yada, yada, yada. i believe he may be truthful, because he is older and has experienced a lot. I think loose women have had an impact on his judgement of women, as well. They like a respectful, strong, confident woman. I refuse to let him control me, but am very reasonable to his need to be the leader. I like letting him wear the pants, as he needs to and i’m tired of it. Somehow we compliment each other, highly! We have had our moments where he stopped texting, so i did too and made other plans and even went on a couple coffee dates, in between a 2 wk break he took, lol. It messed him up! He tells me everything, so i dont believe he is a liar, nor do i believe he cheats. I wont tolerate it and i told him it will be over. He treats me like a queen, spoils me rotten and i give him my heart and we are running with it. But there are possessive traits i see, that concern me, but he claims he needs to know i respect him 150%. ie: i can’t talk to other men, he assumes i’m hitting on them, lol. i think i just need to make sure he is aware of the conversation and introduced, immediately. I’m going for it, love him to pieces, not concerned about his past and I believe the aqua man does have to marry late in life, after he fulfils his need to see the world. Thoughts?
hey there. i think no matter what anyone says here or advises you are going to go wid your heart. i say this with experience. too many dos and donts wid an aqua. u try to conform to their likes. not consciously ofcrse but it happens. but the problem is you do things which go against ur basic nature simply to keep ur qua arnd. but there are outbursts flareups bec u cant keep suppressing your real nature. and the min that happens u go bac to square one in your relatnship wid aqua.
i dont think it cant work in the long run wid an aqua who shares the traits which have been discussed on this thread. no mater wht you do or try.. i broke off finally wid my aqua. or rather v broke off. mine was on and off for 5 years. i thot i wld feel bad devastated really heart broken. but am not.
all the best to you. hope yours works out. that will make atlst one of us for whom things have worked out..:-)
Hello and a very happy new year to all.
May I ask as to what type of behaviour this aqua guy is dealing with?
I am talking in regards to whatsapp and snapchat .
He would be the first person to see my snapchat story always.
At times would send me his video or his mom dad pics or his brother’s on snapchat.
But would never call or even ignore my whatsapp at times.
And whenever I ask him to go out he would just vanish.
May I have any insights?
As a matter of fact I do know he just wants to have sex, but he would also not like me going out or putting snaps with a particular guy friend of mine, and asks me lots of questions upon meeting especially about my family. And would get really intruiged if I mention any guy.
And moreover its my birthday today which he knows as he saw my snaps but dint even had the courtesy to even drop in a text to wish which is sad.
If any Aquarius Guy can DECODE this !!
PS : I am a Capricorn .
this behaviour is not very uncommon. my aqua initially used to do this. he wld at times not reply to whats app msgs or just vanish. and if i wld mention any guy he wld ask qstns and show lot of curiousity. doesnt mean that much. when i wld ignore him bac the silences wld even extend to months. and when i all but thought that he is finally out he wld get in touch. it all means he is interested just not that inclined to get into a proper relation or explore things with you in any meangingful way. please note i am not saying he doesnt like or care. i think hes not into a mindset to explore things in a deeper or more meangingful way as yet. but he will stay in sporadic touch if u let him and ensure that u dont disappear altogether.
i thnk u can stay in touch but try meeting others with an open mind. with the aqua u cant force or push or cajole them unless they are ready mentally to explore things wid u in a deepr way. m sorry but i dont think i have been of much help. i can simply add my insight based on my experiences which seem to smwhat match urs.
the behaviour you have described was the way my aqua used to behave initially. i liked him but he nevr seemed inclined to push things on a deeper level. i was ok to just let things tide along. i let him stay arnd and we were on and off for years. nothing very deep.
i used to meet men and date others. its only the past year that he started behaving a little more openly. but we are off now sadly. i wld generally get upset at the distance or his unemotional manner at times and i wld cut off for mnths. whenever i wld reach out he wld alwys respond. it had becm a pattern. the last time i reached out he responded instantly. but post that he stayed silent. so i had no choice but to leave things and let him be. that was a month bac. he hasnt got in touch after that. he was quite irritated so he blocked me on one of his nos. i told him to block me on his other no as well. to do the job well. but he didnt. i know for sure he wont.
if u want my advice i wd suggest to meet others and not to think twice about getting invvolved if u meet anthr man whos interesting and who u like. dnt wait for things to happen wid the aqua and do not keep ur life on hold for him. he will get involved on a deeper level wid u only if hes mentally ready to and frm the things you have described hes not quite there. so go out and meet others.
Hi Dee. Very good advice! I have not been in a relationship since that aqua man break up, although I have had some dates but nothing serious. As I reflect back (to ensure that I don’t make the same mistakes), I too had misgivings and I made mistakes. There really is such thing as ‘love is blind’. Lol lol. I used to conjure up strategies to counter his. Like how many days before replying to texts. Yes days because sometimes he would vanish or simply not return my calls or messages but exactly that, making sure at the same time to stay in my life. And all that time I was in a intimate relationship with him!! I don’t want to get too heavy, but that amounts to emotional abuse. All of that led me to think that he had somebody else and I was not the priority. I always had this feeling that he was hiding something, but I was too in love to acknowledge that or even to investigate. If there is a lesson to be learned, for me at least, it is this: if a guy is not giving you 100%, if he is showing any signs of shady dealings, if he is not treating you with love care and respect, if it all seems like hard work, give him the old heave-ho and don’t wait too long and above al be very, very discerning 😄😄. Good enough for a fling but not for anything lasting. Over Christmas, I have had some messages from him and then New Year, I replied to one but ignored the other. And pause for thought, even that is strange, why would an ex want to be friends and why the sporadic msges? Nothing to see here, let us all move on👀 Best wishes for 2017.
shirl many of the things u said sound familiar. he was pretty distant initially but warmed up in 2016. he wd never let days go by or go silent. but if hes upset then for sure yes. i really think that they genuinely believe there is nothing wrng with their behaviour. they dnt understand that there is a concept called passive aggressive.
i will tell you if you do not respond to his msgs that wont deter him. he would infact get in touch more. but sad thing is they wld do so under the guise of say xmas or new year wishes. very rarely would they connect to say hey how u doing. mine did the same. and it pissed me off. i had once even told him if u ever wish me again on any such occasions i would personally come to your house and hit you on tht thick head of urs with your cell phone and keep hitting till atleast one breaks.
the fact is shirl just like you strangely even me never was able to get seriously emotional about anyone after my aqua encounter. i would like to thnk that that maybe bec i havent met anyone that interesting. i wldnt even let myslf think that that could be because the aqua is alwys smwhere in the back of my mind. its going to be now almost one month since i last interacted with the aqua and he didnt respond. but to be fair to him this time, i did say some not so nice things so i can understand his hurt and silent anger. but m done. wont get in touch again and i dont think he would too this time.
My current mood with/about him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RYY0hwHIRw
and the words that resonate the most from this song are: ‘I’m like a rubber band until you pull too hard!’
Happy Belated New years Ladies
Same shi* different day.
I’ve come here every now and then to check up/catch up.
Update etc etc.
I had a conversation with a Friend about him, his Mom and why he might not say anything to HER about me.
The fact that she’s super religious………
Me being 10 years older, having a child.
If that alone would make her not like me and she said she didn’t want him with me, he might just dump me. I understand he values his Mom’s opinion(s) but, he’s a grown ass Man!
I mean how the f long do we have to be together in order for him to tell ANYONE about me? His excuse the last time I asked was: I’m just a very private person.(whatever)
Again it’s about validation!
4.5 years…………. My patience………. I wonder how I was blessed/cursed with so much patience.
Enough patience to put up with his blashphemy!
sorry Ladies, I know you’re all prolly tired of hearing the same shi from me but I just need to vent.
And since Grandma passed, my Uncles have not reached out. Not even my Godfather. I mean what is a Godfather any way?
Whats funny is they’ll call my Aunt to ask HER how I”m doing? Know what she says to them? She says: Why don’t you call her?
Yes why don’t ya’ll call me??????? My numbers are the same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(inserts fed up emote)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fun fact(NOT) about Aquas: They will always be more dedicated to their work if not attached. So work will always come first! Especially if not in a committed rel.
hey..relatives are well known to be fickle. well most of them anywys.. thats the way life is. so why stress about them?? except for a handful i anywys am not close to any of mine. u basically meet them only on family occasions, festivities. where u exchange pleasantries and act as if you missed them..lol
beyonder i thnk its time for u to let go.. dnt reach out. dont initiate. do nothing. from now onwards make up ur mind and let him lead. talk to him only if he initiates. meet only when he initiates in making plans. try it for 6 weeks and see. u have to be prepared to end it.
i havent talked to mt aqua for more than a month. and i dont intend to either.
i had a fall out wid a couple of my close friends, pretty egoistic people. i wld alwys forget and patch up. i never thought by being the first one to reach out after a disagreement made me any lesser of a person or in the wrong. but this time nope. i stuck to my grounds and dint bother to reach out. neither have they. gud riddance. i thnk. if they valued me as a friend they would have reached out. when friends think that their egoes are bigger then thats the end .
with the aqua – i had reached out in mid dec but he dint reciprocate with enthu. he was still upset with me. i made up my mind then that i will not reach out again after that. he hasnt got in touch either. i did tell him this was my last attempt since i did tell him some things which were well unkind and could have upset him. but will let him figure if he wants to stay in touch. he dint revert. after 2 weeks i deleted his no and did not connect after that. and i wont in future either.
2017’s resolution. i would let go of all those friendships or old love which dont make me happy anymore. which are not evolving. which are not making me grow as person.
stick to your guns. give ultimatums. but only to self. 🙂
hey guys. another roller coaster. i have no idea whats going on..:-). I dint talk to my aqua for a month and a half. he dint interact and nether did i. last weeknd i was travelling to his city which is a 3/4 hour drive from my city. i just messaged him on a whim. he rsponded immediately and just like old times. so enthu and warm. he told me he cldnt meet siince he was out of town and will be back only on monday. and i was in his city only for a night. so we couldnt meet.
however made it a point to stay in touch. honestly speaking we both initiated talks. and kept in touch. he told me a few things one being that i have this habit of dwelling on the negatives more. I was surprised. i told him i didnt realize since i thought i was simply being practical. but i will definitely work on things and try focussing more on the positives. he said wow. how has this transformation taken place. anywys post tht we have kept in touch. i generally do my stuff and let him get in touch at the end of the day.
so hes back in my life and am this time trying to take things positively and giving him lots of space. will keep u guys updated. hope all well with you ladies. god bless.
Hi Dee. Looks like you are back on track. Wouldn’t it be great if you could finally meet up face to face and go through stuff with him letting him think it is his choice 😌 I have also been in touch with my ex. It was his birthday last week and I hesitated before sending him a whatsap birthday wish (last year we were together for it). I sent it late in the day and he immediately replied that he was delighted to hear from me and we had a long ‘whatsap’ catch up! There is unfinished business between us and things left unsaid. I am hoping that this new wave of open friendly convo will help both of us finally move on. Get the feeling that he is not with anyone, meaning a woman. Very happy for this new opening. I hope you get together with your aqua man, if that is what you want. Aman’s description spot on. I think these guys feel most secure in a like-love relationship with no pressure. Best friend / lover type thing and don’t fence me in. Will update. Xoxo
wow shirl… m so excited for u. i know exactly wht u feeling..exactly what u feeling..o my..wht traspired between u and aqua is what transires between me and my aqua whenever we chat aftr a bit of a gap. u feel all excited happy and warm. it feels right somehow.
keep us updated. and i will do the same. all the best..xxxx dee
he messaged me a while back. said he will come down this sat afternoon. and he also very politely asked me what are my sat plans?
i said none as of now. well he said grt. sat u will be placed on me..:-)
Need Aqua Help, Dee, Beyonder33, Shirley, I am wondering if you can help me with my dilemma. I have read every one of your comments and I know you all have some powerful knowledge about the great and elusive Aqua. I’m sorry this is so long.
I am a 37 almost 38 year old aries and my aqua is a just turned 1/28 43 year old.
We met end of October last year and he pursued me like no other and started seeing each other in November. He has told me from the beginning that he is a one woman man and that if he ever met anyone else he would let me know and would never sleep with 2 women at the same time. He has always told me where he’s going and what time he will be home and has always texted me when he gets home. He lives right next door to me, literally next door. He has never ignored me when I text him and has always been prompt about texting me back.
I think he has been hurt in his previous relationship. He got a divorce almost 3 years ago. She had cheated and moved out and left him with his older kids, but then it didn’t work out so he allowed her to move back in since she didn’t have anywhere else to go. (He has a heart.)
The thing is, he told me he didn’t want a relationship and that what we had was just fun. But his actions speak louder than words. He has been caring, very sweet (can be an ass at times), etc. We have gone out about 3 times for dinner and drinks. I told him recently during a discussion that I don’t like letting guys pay for me and that I like to pay for half. He told me if he really likes a girl and takes her out on a date, he would never allow her to pay. The first time we went out, he paid. The other 2 times, I have paid once and we both paid. The other things he tells me is to go date other people since I just got out of a 16 year relationship/marriage and he told me I won’t know what I want unless I date around. I do not want to date anyone else nor sleep with anyone else.
We have fun when we are together and lately he’s been opening up to me more and telling me things. I don’t ask or push him and let him tell me what he wants to tell me. And we are both independent so we don’t see each other every day. We do text almost every day and see each other 2-3 times a week.
The thing is, about a week and half ago we got into this huge fight and mean words were said. We got into a fight over my ex. My ex lives in the same apartment complex as us, but only 2 floors up and he was trying to get his girlfriend moved in into another vacant unit upstairs. I told my aqua f* you, f* off, bye. He threatened that he would tell my boss (I manage the apartment), said that if I was gone it would be better for everyone and that I couldn’t take care of anything by myself. So I told him I wished that I had never even met him. He responded by telling me f* you, called me stupid little girl and that my situation was from my dumbass lack of maturity and communication.
He has always tells me communication is key. So next day, he texted me a long apology and said at the end he said his piece and he’s not saying anymore. I apologized for telling him to F* off, but not the I wish I never met you part. And then we didn’t talk for 4 days. He then left my plate and bowl in a bag with dessert in it and we texted some pleasantries for a day or two and then nothing. Then last Wednesday, I texted him a long text telling him I needed to get things off my chest basically telling him how his words hurt me, that I didn’t appreciate him threatening me, and that I felt like I was verbally and emotionally abused. He didn’t respond to any of that and instead brought up my ex. We didn’t talk again until this morning. I put a bag of nutrition bar and vitamins that he wanted me to order him and left a note. He thanked me and asked how much it was for and we texted back and for a little bit. I had surgery last Thursday and he never once checked in to see how I was doing granted I didn’t tell him which exact date I was having it done. He also said he wasn’t mad at me anymore. Oh he said he was mad at me because I was too sweet for my own good. Which does not make any sense.
The thing is ever since the fight he has been acting distant. Back in December when he thought I was breaking up with him he got mad and when I got back from vacation he told me that he thought I was telling him to take a hike and playing games. He must’ve thought when we had the fight that I was breaking up with him and that’s why I’m thinking he got mean too. How do I get this man back? I miss him like crazy. Should I tell him I miss him?
The couple times I have told him I like him or miss him, he told me I’m not ready to be emotionally attached to anyone. He also has told me he is selling his house and moving clear across the country. But then has also told me my kids and I can stay at his house. I really don’t think he will move away though, because all his family is here and he has a great job as well. He is so confusing. I just want my aqua back. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thank you in advance!
Oops, I meant that I never apologized for telling him I wish I never met him. I guess he is sensitive even though he doesn’t act like it. Should I tell him that I didn’t mean that and god had him walk into my life for a reason? Should I apologize again?
Also he introduced me as a friend to one of his best friends in December and he also told me it was ok to have a key to his place so I could lock up when I leave.
hey there. my aqua is quite the opposite of yours. in all the five years that i have known him, i must have lost my composure 100s of times. had crazy outbursts . called him a robot. blah blah. he has never once retorted. but never in our association did i swear even once at him nor he. a line of respect has always been maintained regardless of angry situations and my outbursts.
wrt my aqua though he has had many flings, when it came to us there was never any discussion wrt infidelity. we need to come to terms with being together, committment and the long term thing. with my aqua that has been the issue. these men dont communicate what they feel so easily and the minute things get too close they need to kind of get away to breathe. too much closeness lovey dovey stuff makes them feel as if they in a box. so ideally u need to let them get out and breathe. when they have had sufficient breathing space, they get back to you.
i am not sure. in ur case ur aqua was communicating well which is more than what any of our aquas did. all i can suggest is this. give it some times. wait for 3 or 4 weeks. get some distance. i thnk things could get to normal if you communicate post the gap.
with my aqua i need to gve him space after my outbursts. if i try reaching out immediately he will say things are fine. and assure me hes ok. but thats not really the case. he gets distant and only responds in monosyllables. and if i try too much he simply stays silent. but if i connect after 4 weeks he responds immediately and i dont thnk he holds any grudges. i think u hv to take your mind off him for a bit pursue your own things. and reconnect after few weeks. m sure he will be back to normal by then. but yeah provided you guys do have that strange inexplicable connect. 🙂 all the best. u may hv outbursts. but please stay within respectable boundaries. no cussing or swearing please. all the best.
Hi Dee, thank you for the reply. I can be aggressive and I texted him last night and I told him let’s be friends and not to let a stupid fight make things awkward between us. He said he’s not mad or anything and that we could talk sometimes. I am going to give him his space and if he wants to talk to me then he can reach out and talk to me. I am not going to pester or push him. We will see what happens I guess. In the meantime life goes on, but I will miss him. 😞
hey thats the whole thing. u tried to bridge the gap. it dint work. so no point being aggressive. its not going to work. he is saying maybe. so u need to leave him alone. try to put him out of ur mind. u shldnt have sent that text. ultimatums usually dont work. just leave him alone. for some time. u can try after a month of no contact at all from ur side. then let us know..
hey shirl, beyonder and others.
i thnk if i manage to swing this thing with my aqua i will def be a much better person. :D. since the time he suggested coming to meet me last week, i have had atlst 2 opportunities where i felt like telling him to take a hike. over the wknd. he dint reply to my msg so i askd if everything ok? he dint reply. finally on sun evening he apologised saying hes like been totally tied up in work and was ultra busy. he sounded quite frndly and loving. m glad i didnt give in to my reactive nature which wanted to tell him to go to hell.
on mon when we chatted a bit I told him maybe we shld just have a roaring fling and then move on. he said nope. he was hoping to take things further then that. besides he said if he would have slept with me I would have forgotten him as easily as i did the other men in my life. he alwys makes it known that he doesnt view me as a casual hookup.
his bday was on the 14th. so i wished him at 12 am. asked him his bday plans. he said this time he wont be doing much since hes neck deep in work with loads to do. he didnt wish me valentines day and so neither did i. we hardly chatted. its a pattern. when he has been very close, its like he has this compulsive thing to put some space. no matter what, thats how he alwys has been and i supoose he will stay that way. and his work. when he gets neck deep into work, he gets into another world.
my aqua is a successful business man and doing q well for himself. he maintains a fleet of all high end cars along with vintage cars. he keeps a dozen dogs and has round the clock help to look after them. he has no dearth of beautiful women throwing themselves at him. he is considered a catch in his city. and hes such a charming man when u meet him in person. alwys polite to the staff. so its not the money, its his self assured and calm aura which makes him a catch. when we met I had no idea of his background. when we shared our first kiss i dint know much about him. when hes in the midst of a deal, he works till late in the night. is alwys having social engagements, business dinners.
i did ask him this time. you are so busy dont think there is any space there for me in ur life. he told me dee are you looking for someone to simply fill in empty space in your life? he said I lead a very busy life and I want someone who will take part with me in all my stuff. I am not looking to fill empty spaces i am looking for someone to partake in my full life.
on my part I am now thinking that maybe this time round whether things work or not with my aqua I would have atleast learnt the art of holding bac and think when all i want to do is react. not be negative about situations no matter what. if this had happened a month back, i would have gone on a tirade been aggressive and told him off. but i didnt. if i can master this, I am sure I will be a much better person. i frame things that I want to tell him and keep modifying that in my mind. and then figure if i still feel like saying all those things after few hours then I will. but after those few hours I find that the things i want to say are so over the top. so i dont. makes me cringe to be honest. I have in the past never ever put a filter on things i wanted to say. I guess its just now I am realising that i was way too reactive and over the top.
so whatever happens I am taking this postively bec it is helping me change into a better person.
shirl but to be totally honest? i wish i cld just forget aqua and move on totally. i meet sm1 new and i think he’s sweet. but thats it. tht spark just dsnt manifest wid anyone. what to do? so then at a weak moment or when am idle I think about him and wonder whats going on with him. and so i ping him. he only bothers when i get in touch. but at such times he acts so interested and makes me feel that this is not one sided. you kow this time? when we got chatting i told him maybe this thing is still ingering bec we havent yet slpt with each other? he startd laughing and told me nope. he said sex has nothing to do with it. he said I have let go of many women simply bec i havent felt that mental connect. so i told him hey strictly speaking you have let go of me as well.. i dint see you chasing me after i walked off in a huff.
he said swtheart i know one thing. when something is mine.. i let it go. if its mine it will return. something thats mine never goes away. so i asked him what does he mean? he said your my soulmate for life.. another time i told him we are very different people and am very emotional possessive and volatile. maybe we should just stick to our own corners? he said i can overlook ur possessivness and emotional instability. i can learn to ignore it. i have never met any guy in my life who has said he will learn to overluk and in time learn to ignore.
but the thing is when he gets into some new work/midst of transactions, he just forgets evrythng. its work for him all the way. i know his transactions are high valued and there are millions at stake but still you start doubting things and wonder if your being stupid.
There is a fine line between acting mature and being a roll over. i just want to ensure i maintain that. like for instance this morning, there was no response to my morning greeting. even ystrdy when we chatted briefly he was very distracted. but on sunday and mon he did tell me he is going to be super busy in the next few days due to work overload. and he himslf suggested that he will come down on sat afternoon to meet me. in view of that i tell myslf to chill and let him revert knowing my nature its def a task to not be demanding. i want immediate attention. :-(. he does tell me i am like a child but then he also tells me he likes talking to me bec he finds me intelligent.
Dee, I know how you feel about wanting to move away from the aqua and forget you even ever met them. Even meeting other men, the spark just isn’t there and you’re not interested in anyone else. I hope things work out for you and your aqua! You said you’ve been with him about 5 years right?
I saw my aqua briefly today and he waved hi first and I waved back while I was chatting with someone else. I miss him.
hey shirl.. i still have a way to go.. a small relapse and i was all for walking out again.. damn. i think changing ur bad habits is not that easy a task. had a mini drama and told him dont come to meet me. he msgd me saying hes at dinner and will revrt shortly. he did. and told me swthrt wht is the problm? i asked him u hv no clue? he said none. he dint read my msgs bec he was out for dinr. he said can you tell me ur issue in a line? the way he said made me think did i misconstrue things again? at this rate shirl i feel m more of trouble thn him. he said he had many bday msgs so was tired responding to them. around 1500..he said he went out for dinr and rnks wid some of his frnds on his bday. and shared some pics. around 15 to 20 friends. he was with some glamorous females. i told him why dont u get together with them? he said nope they are just his platonic friends. and he has no desire whatsoever to get together with them. he said dee i have been there and done all that. am over all that. he said not just my single frnds but even the married ones are q eager to have fling with him. starngely it didnt seem like bragging. he was q matter of fact. he said nowadays i just stay away from all that.
i also told him with me in ur life there will be disruptions, arguments, interruptions. he said i enjoy all that. i said u wont be able to work peacefully. he said dont worry i can.. told me not to postpone our meeting unless I have a gud reason.
at this juncture he seems more enthu and keen to try things finally. and am a bag of nerves.
Hi Dee. It is only natural that you are a bag of nerves. It is a big deal meeting your guy after all that on line virtual communication. You will be fine. I really liked when you said that your guy was not looking for somebody to fill a void in his life. In fact I love that because it means that his life is complete and he is looking for somebody to add to it. It is no surprise either that he has female suitors if he is attractive, successful and relatively rich. The fact that you two have stayed in touch for so long means a lot. Whatever you decide to do will be right for you and the right decision. I am cool with my ex in the sense that I finally feel I can move on. It takes so long. It was that exchange on his birthday a few days back that clinched it for me. I think he is the one that is stuck and me the one moving on, or trying to, ha ha. Good luck whatever happens and have fun!!!!
@missing my aqua – hey hold on. just dont think about him. try. do ur own stuff. keep urself distracted. after a month revisit what you feel. if you still want him, u can send out a friendly message and see what happens. i am being very honest here. in all my off periods with the aqua, I never broke off and went NC keeping any time line in my head. I alwys but alwys thought this is it no more. any connect post that was never really a well thought out plan. just on a whim. so u need to get into a mindset that you will do your all to get on..
@shirl.. honey you write so well and you sound so grounded and intelligent. know we could have been gud friends off the virtual world as well. I just connect totally with all that you say, your thinking and your reasoning. :-). maybe you can write to me on my altrnate id? sonisumo@yahoo.com and we could share nos?? please do it will be total blast.
yes all those things that he said seem so well thought out and made sense to me as well. he does lead a full life and he is q proud of it. u keep seeing his pics online attending various events as well as parties. all the ladies pictured with him are so glam and when i think over things, most of my pics that i share with him show me as i am. simple and au natural. I gues his interest has sustained for so long shows that he likes the fact that I am myslf with him. 🙂
I am going to be super nervous but what the heck. its time we did something instead of just dreaming.. will keep you posted. but hey do write in on the email id.
Hi Dee. Your advise to Missing my Aqua (which sounds a bit like Missing in Action..:) is spot on. reminds me: When I was at school, Economics was one of the subjects on the curriculum with THE most boring teacher and I could not make head or tail of it. The only thing I have retained from those classes is the law of supply and demand. When supply goes up, demand goes down! Or less is more. It could easily apply to those aqua guys, the more you become available, the more you ask, the more you cling on, the more they go a ghosting. And what happens when you start to fade away, back they come. It would be totally ridicules to apply this systematically but it is my experience and the experience of others on this board.
When I broke up, I decided one thing. No contact. Yes there is a whole book written about this!!! Not even a peep. No, I wasn’t playing a game. I was doing it to get some perspective, gain some sanity and get out of there. I suppose the word ‘addiction’ comes to mind. To give an analogy, I gave up cigarettes and the withdrawal was awful. I thought about them every minute of every day. Just one little ciggie I used to think would do no harm but I knew ‘ just one ‘ would lead to just 10 and just 20 so it was mind over desire all the way, a continuous battle of strength over weakness and I won. Same for giving up that guy or any guy and gaining ones sense of perspective, You gotta give them up if not forever then at least for a while to show them you have a life and you are not depending on them, difficult I know but hey….. It seems to have worked for me as I decided that this thing was no good and not going anywhere and not doing me any good, all those highs for an awful lot of lows. All of a sudden, he seems to be opening again the channels of communication with the trend reversed, him initiating, me replying. Isn’t it a funny old world and you have to laugh. Yes Dee, I will pop you along a mail on your pseudo address! Have fun and enjoy the weekend and do tell!!
hey shirl.. thanx. but a tiny mistake. my alternate email id is sumosoni@yahoo.com. sorry got that the other way around in my last mail. :p
whenever I broke off i alwys thought this is it..i have got off frm most social media platforms so yeah that helped. ur so right. it is like an addiction. giving up smoking is a big deal. when I freshly graduated i did pick up this bad habt for just a bit. but then decided to kick it before i became a hardcore addict. i felt the urge for 2 weeks. and had headache and felt listless. but thats abt it. nowadays when i go out with friends i smoke occasionally when i drink. i no longer get the urge to smoke. AM glad u kicked the habit. its also really bad for ur skin.
He had come down to meet me some months back. but just when he reached the hotel for check in, he got a call that a family member had a heart attack. so he rushed back. that was pretty disapointing i cant even begin to tell. i was talking to him till 8.pm and he sudnly disappeared. only to call at 10 pm and tell me that he has headed back. we live basically in difrnt cities. say around 4 hours drive. so u can imagine.
since I havent met him for so long almost everybody told me forget him and just try to think u never ever met him. Logically i agreed 100%. but i wasnt able to erase him from my head. i kept trying to meet men and going on dates. but i really havent met any1 interesting with whom i felt that spark. i need two things. first i should be able to talk to that person and second we should have the sexual spark. never met anyone with whom i could feel both the things in the recent past.
Its finally a month back that I decided wht the heck. chuck it. i wont bother to date and meet men unless i really feel like. and i kind of reconciled myslf to think if that means living a single life so be it. but i wont be forced into anything. :-).
I think shirl you guys are heading for a deeper involvement. from what u said it appears hes finally ready to admit that his feelings run deep and he propably will start opening up more. we can only have proper relationship wid these guys only when they finally admit to themselves that there is something going on here. Till then its alwys cat and mouse games trying to figure whats going on. he confirmed last night he will be coming down in the this evening. :D..
hey shirl. anti climax. he dint come down to meet. we are like four hours apart. he was supposed to leave his place arnd 3 pm and reach my city arnd 7/8 pm. i msgd him at 3.30 and asked him whn he wld be leaving? he msgd back saying he is in his last meeting and wld leave around 5 pm. by 5.30 no text frm him abot his leaving. so i said are u stuck? he messaged wid a pic in his office and luking exhausted. he said m trying to wrap up soon and finish so that i can leave. he finally at 6.15 told me could we meet tomorrow ? he said i can leave post his work gets done and drive to my city in the night,late night. and we can then meet tomorrow. I was pissed and disappointed. i said but u were the one who fixed the date and u were the one who talked about coming down to meet. i didnt. and now last min u are saying your stuck. he said m sorry honey but too many things on his hand. i realised the futility of geting pissed so told him fine. but let me tomorrow wht plan? he msgd me saying he will message later since he needs to focus on his work and finish things at his earliest. that was arnd 6.30 pm.
Post that he dint revert. i msgd him arnd 9ish and said m out wid frnds but i wish he cld have made it. arnd 12ish when i still dint hear from him i told him its ok he cldnt make it this wknd. but what happened? some setback at work? i calld at the same time. he dint take my call. and neither has he responded. my msgs still havent been read by him though am sure he must have been on whats app. so that makes me think he realised he coudnt make on sunday either so wants to avoid confrontations and hasnt read my msgs.
Its q irritating. when the other person avoids you. he knows hes at fault. that he made plans and he stood me up. so why cant he have a mature grown up discussion abt that? 2 things i feel right now apart from the major disappointment ofcourse.
FIRST that he wouldnt have made plans if he had no plans to follow it through. so maybe he did have some urgent work situation. he takes my rants in the right spirit and still hangs about. and he confirmed on the day itslef that he will come down. i cant walk out on this setback. i wl let him revert. its almost 12 pm here in the noon but hes still not read my msgs.
the things he has told me paints a different pic of him. it doesnt gel with that of a man who will simply make plans to let the woman down. either i believe hes the former or the latter man. noone can be this dubious or mean. so makes me think he must have def got caught in sm urgent work. he is a workaholic and i know that. besides hes too busy to play all these games. hes not short of female company either.
SECOND is that if the man feels meeting me is not a priority then there is really nothing much i can do. i cant force him to drop things for me. right now work is his only priority and i have to accept that. its only after we have met and hung about can i start making demands on him.
i have no idea what going to happen. but as i said beofre i am trying to change myslf and not be so reactive. its only going to help me in life. as far as my aqua goes i have decided to finally leave all my expectations at bay. 😦
Hi Dee. Very disappointing for you and such a build-up for nada. It isn’t the first or second time, right ? Nothing worse than being stood up and all dressed up and nowhere to go. You must be furious. You gotta make some decisions and put a time limit on this. It all comes down to respect. what about your time? Is it ok for you that he fritters your time away while seemingly his time is sooo precious? Ok he is so busy, so consider this, how will he ever be able to dedicate time to a relationship? It’s not his priority or otherwise he would be making time for IT and for you. If you are ok with a virtual relationship, then it could work as friends but if you are thinking of anything more real, then you could hit 2020 still in the same spot. I wish you luck with that one dear Dee, you might need to do some serious ‘no contact’. Best wishes.
nope it isnt. we have come close to meeting once when he was in my city and once when i was in his city. dint hapen. funny thing is on friday itself he was telling me we been playing ball for 5 years and still havent met.. longest in history. and he was the one who was keen on meeting, more then me for sure. further he was also telling me that please i need to understand that at times hes under stress so he cant be as receptive.
on sat afternoon rite up till 4 pm, 5 pm he was telling me am in office still will leave when am done. i asked him does he want to postpone? he said yes wld it be alright if we can instead meet tomorrow. he will drive down late in the nite to my city and we can instead meet on sunday. hi was so irritated that i sounded him off. but then i thought i cant alwys be so rigid in life. i need to accomodate. so i told him u alwys do this but fine. let me know when u leave. he said he will message in a bit. then i didnt hear from him. i dont understand whether wht i said upset him or whether this is his way of dealing with the fact when he realised his work wont let him drive down to my city this wknd.
I was disappointed. and i am now being subjectd to the silent treatment. i have no clue why ofcourse. passive aggressive behaviour but am not sure just why.
shirl what u say is true. respect is important. there have been many times in the past when i have said things which were not well very kind. and he most of those times he told me it was ok. and dint stop talking to me. unlike my gud friends. two of them in the recent past. i thot they were being not so nice so i told them what i thought. they simply stopped talking to me and dint try to reconnect even though its been months shirl. when my good friends (men ofcrse) are so bothered and full of ego that they wont connect with me for so many months over few silly arguments then i can over luk my aqua’s flaws.
i am a blunt person and say things as they are. people at times get offended. he most of the times chooses to not react and overlook. but in the bargain what happens is though its gud there are many times when I may be airing geniune greivances which he takes it as just me ranting again and doesnt bother to address.
with him there will alwys be a time crunch. i know that. and if i want to have any kind of relationship with him, i have to reconcile to that fact. not just him also his family is quite socially active and well known in his city. there are many social engagements. plus he is the head of his group and is in the process of some big expansion. he had infact shared on fri nite an article about him being a go getter gentleman in a very famous womans magazine. the magazine featured some eligible and well spoken men from his city.
shirl right now i have no clue what i will be doing. but yes i did tell him u were the one who stood me up and despite me trying to accomodate you, you are acting like the wronged party! i had every right to be mad so not sure wht ur geting mad about. told him by not communicating and acting passive aggressive doesnt make any sense to me. also told him if this is how he plans to resolve conflicts between us by doing the passive aggressive thing, then I dont think it can ever work between us. passive agrressive behaviour is like an emotional abuse and that is one thing shirl which i cant handle.
all this while i have run away from issues and never saw it through. in the bargain i could never get closure. and there can be no closure unless we meet or he tells me off clearly. he wont. this time in my life I will see it through no matter what. get things resolved one way or the other. will leave no gateway open. it is going to be in or out. and no maybes.
Shirl ur right about the time thing as well. i will alwys come 2nd when it comes to his work. there is no argument frm me on that. and yes he does think his time is q precious. lol. if i tell him am busy or dnt reply to him he is ok with it. he is ok being put second when it comes to work bec its the same way for him. i am not really his gf nor his partner so i really have no locus standi to demand his time. if i had done what he did cancelled at the end citing work issues, he wld not have got mad. even if he had he wldnt have shown it. he thinks work comes first. so cant argue with him. he says am the main guy who takes all the final decisions so i need to be there. besides hes very ambitious and pushing himself at work gives him his biggest kick.
there was only one time when he showed some madness. i was in his city last year in sep. pinged him to tell him i am there on fri and sat. fri am tied up but can meet u on sat. he told me hes leaving the country on sat evening but wld like to have a cup of coffee with me for a bit. it was all fixed. however on friday aftrn he connected and asked me where am i staying in his city? i told him will tell u tomorrow when we meet for sure. he kept asking me. so i had to tell him. but i reminded him that i had alrdy told him earlier m tied up on friday so can meet only on sat . i was shocked bec he kept messaging me all through friday evening and even in the night and kept pushing me to meet him. and i kept saying i cant, not tonight. he was so desperate he also told me he is ok meeting me after i finish my dinner wid my friend. he said i can meet u at 12, 1 am 2 am or even 3 am. i said m sorry but i cant. he asked me if am planning to spend the night with my friend. i said no. am not . so he asked me then y cant u meet me?? i kept saying no. he then suggested ok i will come and meet u at ur place for an erly brkfast. at 6 am!!! can u believe that? he said he will be having a busy day full of meetings since hes flying out of the country. i refused to meet him that erly!! it was so out of character for him.
ofcourse on sat when i pinged him to remind him of the coffee date, he dint reply. the whole day. we had initially agreed to meet on sat for a coffee. i was so pissed at him. i told him first u ruin my friday evening by constantly messaging me, and then insisting on meeting me even when i told u am tied up. then u get pissed bec i stuck to my orginal plan which dint involve u, so then u cancelled our sat evening meeting bec ur mad at me for saying no to you. do u know he dint meet me on sat? so i gathered he was angry bec i dint meet him on friday.
its crazy with this guy for sure. i have no plans as of now. will figure what next to do or not to do in the next few days. thanx fr the email. btw..:-)
o i wasnt dressed up. he was going to ping me when he left his city. which is a four hr drive. the thing is he dint leave his city.. lol. so yeah in that sense it was ok. he cancelled few hours prior to our meeting citing work issues.
i took the last few days to figure what i felt thought about the whole fiasco. thing is he was supposed to leave his city at 3 pm to reach mine by 7 or 8 pm. at 5.45 pm he was still in office and told me hes all ready and set to leave. since it was alrdy almost 6 pm, i asked if he wanted to postpone. he said pls can we meet tomorrow? he said he will drive down on saturday nite and wl meet me on sunday. i was so pissed and told him why does he alwys do this? nywys i dint say too many angry words and agreed to shift the meeting for next day as requested by him. i said pls now do stick to the new time on sunday that we fix. he told me that he will msg me in a bit and hes trying to finish his work early. that was at 6.15 pm
Post this i messaged arnd 9ish since i didnt hear from him I askd him the schedule. no response. i finally post 12 msgd him saying it appears that you may not be able to come down at all. what happened? its ok if we cant meet this wknd. but tell me what came up? but he chose to say silent and dint respond.
he is reading my msgs but not rsponding. I earlier thot I would probably wait for a week and ask him why? but now i realise by asking him explanations i am somehow condoing his atrocious behaviour. if sm1 fixes a plan for 2 weeks which they want to cancel at the last min, the least they can do is intimate properly. and be ready to face the anger of the other party. this guy simply chose the easy option and stoppd msging. how disrespectful is that??
I think i now undrstand how beyndr feels. what addiction is as shirl said. i know he behaved badly yet am looking for explanation where there is none. i had never askd him to come down and meet me. he himself suggested. and then to not only cancel but behave this way is just not acceptable behaviour.
Despite everything, i was am looking for excuses which could justify his behaviour. :-(. but the bottom line is he hasnt msgd at all after that last message to me. and there is no escaping that fact. all he had to do was send a liner apologising and informing that it was off. but he didnt.
I have no option but to let go and move on from this guy. this is it..i dont think i can ever reconnect after what he did. its finally over. NC will not change the fact that he behaved this way. i know if i get in touch after a month it will be nice and sweet again. he will pretend this never happend or the fact that he stood me up. he will downplay and set me up again with his words. till the next time when he does this again. SO its FINALLY OVER.
Despite all of my past grievances about him, he has maintained constant contact with me. Seen me frequently.
Of course there’s today. We both were off from work and according to last night were to spend time together today.
I heard from him this morning just a Good morning message. Then nothing for 3 hours only for him to tell me he got busy and wound up going to the dentist bc of bad pain. So I was annoyed bc it’s been a Month since we’ve seen each other. But I said sorry you’re going through pain.
Just wish He would’ve told me earlier not to expect his visit. (almost sounds selfish of me, so effing what?)
And Dee, Like I said in a most recent post: They will marry their jobs before they marry us.
I know the feeling of being fed up and wanting to give up.
You feel like you’re 2 steps ahead and he’s 5 steps behind in the relationship………………………….. sighs
hey beyonder.. well if he got sudden tooth ache and had to rush to the doc that cldnt be helped. so understandable. but if u guys stay closeby why havent u met for a month?? doesnt make sens.
It doesnt make sense to be honest in my case as well. haha.
we do stay in different cities about 4-5 hours apart. he was the one who made plans and fix the date two weeks in advance. and then he cooly postponed the meeting from sat to sunday at 6 pm on sat. obviously i was irrritated. and when i msgd on sat nite asking him what time sunday he dint respond. I was so pissed. i cld hve slapped him had i seen him in person.
I am ok with the idea of not meeting. what i am not ok is him not even haveing the balls to tell me on sat nite that he is very sorry but meeting this weekend is off. he tuk the cowards way out.
I told him i am never talking to him again till i get an apology for his shitty behaviour. ofcrse he went in the silent mode. then I realised to heck with him and his crap. told him to stuff his apology. dont need it.
I am done with this one.
Sorry Dee,
Well my work schedule is different every week. His are very long. He might work 12 hours most days. So that is why……
We are spending most the day together tmrw. We both have off from work………… Come hell or tsunami!(joke he and I share)
o its ok. M used to this kind of thing frm the aqua. just learnt that he is in a spot of trouble with his business and making local news in his city. just saw him on one of the local news channel of his city on the net. I guess he was actually q busy and under strain due to which he couldnt come. But my biggest issue is why cldnt he simply tell me how serious things were. simply shutting down and not responding how can that be the answer? he had told me i need to start handling things in a mature way in terms of relationships but his way sure is not mature either.
Dee, Yep, he’s married to his job!
On another note………… He said something since I last posted which had me jumping up for joy. I was acting like I hit the lotto. My Daughter looked at me like I was crazy. He said: Imy, ILY…………………… :*)
I was like shocked n excited at the same time…. :O
Thing is, I know his feelings for me have grown over the past 1-2 years……. compared to the first couple years. I really can see he cares and tries to not give me too much space bc he knows how it can make me feel.
I mean it’s ok to take space but if you take too much the other party may begin to think ur not interested no?
Hope you’re all safe from the Nor’easter that’s on it’s way.
Off to sleep…. Gnight :o)
I find Aquarium man very interesting, but my boyfriend that lives in Portugal broke up with me and now I blocked him from facebook and he text me for my birthday saying I didn’the need to do that…. How do I understand that
Is he still interested in me???
o most of these aqua men are interested. just that they cant committ. and keep in and out. if your not that invested emotionally i wld suggest u keep him blocked. lol
gud for u beynder..:-) so are u guys ready to now move into the official gf/bf zone? live in? mariage?
Nah, I wouldn’t take it that far.
Remember….
he lives with his Mom and 2 younger bros. Mom and middle bro are disabled in a sense. So he has taken position of Man of the house, so to speak. Since his Father left them a few years back.
And again, I need all the patience I can get to stay with him 😦 🙂
Marriage???????? ha, if only! In a dream maybe!
the guy is reluctant. no gf/bf tag either. plus u urself see no future/marriage with him. why are u hanging arnd beyndr? really?? have u thought over things?
he apologised for his past behaviour. i told him i am looking for marriage. i havent fought with him or anything. we are on talking terms. but currently we both are tied up wid work atleast till the month end. i dont know. but its like god this is so stupid. why the hell am i even bothering? i just cant see him ever geting over his committment phobe. and in my case he is single, no age gap and can easily marry if he decides to.
Maybe we don’t want to get married. Our beliefs are not the same as the rest or norm.
Maybe we’ve seen so much hardship between married relatives that we don’t want to put ourselves thru that. But yes we’ve discussed marriage. Our beliefs are the same^
As far as bf/gf titles are concerned, he’s not reluctant. It’s just taken him long to mature!
well u seem sorted. and u dnt hv any expectations. thats gud. if you fine with the way things are then great for the both of u. :-)..
as for me sadly i am not happy with the way things are between me and my aqua. and thats why probably I am on and off with my aqua. i want more. and he likes to sit on the fence.
Sorry Dee
When I said: {Marriage in a dream}, I meant; I would never dream of asking him to leave his Mom and bros. The same way he wouldn’t have asked me to leave Grandma. Family is always first.
But, we have to be willing to hold the other’s hand while on this crazy journey. Where we meet on the same lane at times and separate most times.
The heart wants what it wants ❤
Let’s see if it lets me post this
Hey Dee,
I know you’re prolly gonna b really tired of the same song and dance but I’m honestly trying to either end it or improve it. Which I’m pretty sure it’s about to end.
My Birthday was on Tuesday and though he remembered, I know he was off work. Had a Dr.s appointment but the fact that he couldn’t respond the rest of the day. I am honestly ready for it to be over with. Mr. Married to my job.
I just turned 38 and ready to be in a serious relationship.(or something that could turn serious)
My patience is gone.
Even though I met a nice Libra Man recently, I’m just not ready to jump in. I’ve wasted the past 15 years of my life jumping from bullshi*ship to bullshi*ship. I just can’t do it any more.
I see myself settled down some how, in the next couple years.
He’s not a bad guy, he’s not. And he will always have a small piece of my heart but he honestly has no time for me. Which he said so himself a few Months back.
And though I seemed to be willing to ride this out, my patience is gone.
[In other context]
there are so many clues that he never wanted to be serious with me………………. I just was hoping patience would pay off.
5 years is a long dam time to be hopeful!
I’m done………………
Hugs and love xx
It’s official, we’re over.
Last night, my last message to him was: Let me just make this easy for you since you seem to have trouble talking via phone. Do you want to end this.
This morning he said: Yea I think we should
I proceeded with: I should be asking a million questions but I won’t. It was clear from the beginning you never wanted to take this to the next level.
Him: It’s just that we’re not going to be anything more than what we were before. I don’t want to lie to you and tell you that there’s a future between us and I’m sorry it took 5 years.
So this Chapter is officially closed…………
but something deep down inside is telling me he might do his typical aqua thing and try to reach out to me………….. sighs
you know best beyndr whats gud for u. and what your ready to settle for. in my case there are no such impediments nor reponsibilities. work pressures yes. family responsibilities? thankfully no. I am too selfish to head down a path knowing there is no long term possibility. its gud that he is bothered abt his family. but what abt me? what if i wait and wait for years and then when hes finally free he decides he doesnt want to be with me at all?
testing….sorry thought I logged in and it would post. Perhaps I’ve forgotten that our posts have to get approved.
beyndr u have to let go or you will be dragged forevr and more. the writing is on the wall and its pretty clear. this is it. its an addiction and cold turkey is not easy. but you have to let go. u hv to begin the process of letting go. ITS OVER. and whether he connects or not is a question you shouldnt even be asking or wondering abt. I think after this if you still convince yourself that there is hope then you need to get professional help to help you deal with this. M serious beynder. he has kicked you out. nothing here any more.
i hvent interacted with my aqua. last was erly april. I was under lot of stress but as usal he was only bothered abt himself. so i cut off. he dint get in tch and neither did i. its not been easy but not so hard either. life goes on. and there have been times i hv been tempted. i wont deny that. but i alwys talk to my voice of reason. shirl. she alwys manages to talk sens into me without being judgemental.
ur lucky. in ur case he has given you closure. so u know ther eis no looking back. in our case we did not even have that. so a voice at times whispers what if this time it will finally work? but u have to subdue and muffle that voice. bec its just yr mind playing tricks. whenever u r tempted to reach out to him, remind urslf he has told you its over. talk to a friend. vent out. but dont give in.
Testing, not sure what’s going on here when trying to post……..
I heard something recently that I’ve heard before. It goes: You will keep making the same mistakes until the lesson is learned…..well this was it.
The first time I made it was before I had my Daughter, 2nd time with my ex and last time with Wilson. I made mistakes but I don’t regret the time spent. What I do regret was my selfishness. Not considering that he never tried to have a relationship with the most important person in my life. My Daughter. He met almost everyone in my circle. Never introduced me to anyone in his. Red Flag after red flag. I should’ve ended it a long time ago.
But selfish me wanted it too. What was it? Intimacy….. we did care for each other. But he never promised anything.
I’m sort of in mourning as some do when a relationship ends.
I honestly felt it coming. Just like with the ex. Something in my gut or rather an energy shift towards the last couple months. So I initiated it and he agreed. NO hatred for him, I was to blame also. I haven’t messaged him in over a week. So don’t worry about that Dee.
I’m single and I can’t believe I’m saying that :O
Yet I’m talking to a Libra guy(Just talking) no meet ups, no dates(actually he and I met on June 14th, the day of Our Kids graduations).
I spoke more to him in one day(via phone) Than I did with you know who in 5 years…………..
Well Dee and E1 who reads this. I hope your outcomes are better than mine.
Sending much love, hugs and blessings your way ❤
Hey Dee
So on July 5th I sent him a final Goodbye and all I said was: Thank you for the past 5 years, I don’t regret the time spent. I release you into love, light and blessings. This is my final goodbye. Peace…. He responded with: Thanks, same to you, goodbye.
And I haven’t looked back since.
I’ve not reached out to him and neither has he.
On another note: I’m still talking to the Libra guy. It’s been a Month but we’re taking things slow. Still no dates or anything but……….. we butt heads slightly.
I don’t take to name calling lightly.(his sense of humor? Get to know me first……. Just saying).
I’ll update again soon.
hey beyonder.. its over .. I thnk tbh for most of us, it was really a non starter. but we wanted more. they are gud to have as occasional frnds and fall bac guys when ur bored. but u cant expect a normal relationship wid these men. they don’t mind being in touch and the occasional flirting but they really are not into any kind of committed relatnship. expectations just scare them. I did not interact with my aqua for more thn 3 mths. I dint connect and neither did he. lol. infct after 4 mnths I wondered what hes upto so I msgd. he responded. I told him I am seeing sm1 now and that the past few mnths made me realise that we were simply not meant to be together in the romantic sense. he dint say anything. I suppose he cldnt care less.
I have come to the conclusion that I will at sm level allwys feel smthing fr him. but that its one sided and beynd an occasional chat we will nvr have anything.
btw hes still single. and so am I.. I am trying to interact with men online and meet them. wid the hope of meeting sm interesting guy. so far hvnt made anyone who makes my heart skip a beat. few false alarms though. 🙂
my advice to you is don’t do a grand dramatic farewell. he will breeze in and out. what we need to keep in mind is that he will breeze out just the way he breezed in.
Dee
I had to let him know that I was ok with parting ways. He said what he said(I believe) Because whether he meant it or not, he knew it’s what I needed to hear to let him go. That he didn’t want to lie and say he saw a future with me.
Towards the end, the shift of energy was: We both knew he couldn’t give me what I deserved. Which was a commitment. Forget what I needed or wanted.
I’m still trying to shake him off.
On the other hand, I’m in a different dilemma with this Libra guy. We’ve been talking 6 weeks. Literally since the day that me and aqua broke up. And just yesterday he admits that hes falling for me already…. O.O
And I said ok that I was having feelings towards him but not like that! I mean I understand his last srs relationship was 2 years ago so he’s ready to get serious with me, but I’m just out this rel. and not ready to take it there quite yet.
I asked him to be patient with me. Because I honestly don’t want to make the same mistakes I’ve made in my past……….
P.S
Still haven’t heard from aqua…….. not expecting to either!
Well I’m an Aquarian woman and this also describes me to a t as well. Thing is we’re quirky beings but most people don’t bother to get to know us at all as most people like themselves more. I hate it when people give up on me without putting in any effort at all. I’d rather be in my own company for the rest of my life than with the wrong person and it’s not that I’m a loner at all but I just need to have someone who ” gets me”, mentally as otherwise there’s really no point. As I’m getting older I’m learning to be more expressive about my wishes but I also don’t like to put on anyone so even if I’m upset then instead of unleashing it on human kind I’d rather crack on and not drag anyone else down. Complicated people us Aquarians but st least we can laugh at ourselves!! Lol
hey guys..i am just going to reiterate what I said in my last post. aqua guys are just not into commitments. especially those men who show a reluctance to get involved on any deeper level. I took a long break and am currently in usa. I am in occasional touch with aqua. tbh, his behaviour towards me has changed completely. after I told him that I have figured out that though we have some connect btwn us which will always be there, we are not meant to be togthr in the romantic sense.
I have initiated chatting men and meeting a couple. but I hv to say I feel zilch. even got a marriage proposal from a guy here. I cant believe the level of indifference that I feel. its nt healthy. but am not sure how to start feeling again.
I’ve completely cut all contact with this Libra guy. I blocked before deleting him. I cannot be with someone who snaps at me over pety shi. I’m single and not ready to mingle. Taking care of Myself, my Daughter and still working.
Been almost 2 weeks without soda so that’s one huge accomplishment for me since I use to be addicted to the poison!
I’ve spoken with aqua once last Month. We actually just spoke as friends. Nothing more………
Thank you Dee and Beyonder for coming back to us (the ones are only reading your stories). I read all posts here and i learned a lot from you and others. Life is going on with them or without, just the love for aquas is incredible strong. I am a scorpio being in a ‘relationship’ for 2 years with an aqua man..on and off..i am just tired of it :).. Lets hope one day will be better for all of us. Waiting to hear from you again. Take good care!
Hello
I’m not thinking about him as much as a use to. I’m still single…..blech…….can’t believe it. For 3 Months. But I’ve survived.!
Scorpgirl……….the ride may be fun and joyful and amazing. But what’s going to happen once that ride is over? If you’re uncertain of his feelings or if he’s wishy washy as f…..run don’t walk away from him.
As you can see; all of us who’ve had relationships with one wound up not being with them in the end. Sneaky devils they can be. Nice, cool and calm n collected but corner them with a slight issue and it’s: I”M RUNNING AWAY WITH MY TAIL BETWEEN MY LEGS!
They may internalize their feelings way too much. But then again, how can you have a mature relationship if you don’t allow it to progress to another level?
Sure Money/finances are important. Career/education important I agree but, what about Love?????? Why do most wait until they’re OLDER to settle down? In their 40’s, 50’s or 60’s? By then the’re looking for a 20 or 30 something year old!
Ok I’m being way over analytical. So I’ll end it here.
Tread carefully.
If you are an emotional type then he’s not the one for you. They run from that.
Good Luck to you!
xx
Hi Beyonder
Nice to hear from you! Thank you!
Yes, I am an emotional type but i have ascendent in aqua, somehow i want to believe it helps me a little. Right now I am alone too, after a huge fight we had few months back, he blocked me on his mobile ..and i suffered like crazy lol. Of course he reappear but i refused to see him..i just couldn’t, i was scared and i am scared that he will do it again and again. It happened last year the same story, fight and blocked..after coming back..it took me some time to accept him again and after 6 months of being ‘together’ booom.. We are almost 40 both of us. He starts using mean words to punish me for refusing him..he can’t see that his frustration and angriness is sending me more far from him. I know he likes me but i just want more then he can offer me. Seems he doesn t get that point..Always analyzing me and coming with criticism about my life, my work..my way of being, as if he wants to change all of me. And yes, you are right, he keeps his feelings inside..i never knew what he feels for me.
Why he wants me if he may think that i am not good for him! I just dont get it. At this age playing mind games its a turn off for me. I still have a small hope that things can work for us in the future.. god knows!
I wish i know what i should do to make this relation work because Honestly its so f…g hard to move on. I miss him so much, i dont know what to do.. I think i will read this blog again from beginning, its therapeutic for me right now.
I wonder if ‘Need aqua help’ succeed in relation with her man.
Wow…….
looking back at some of the crap I’ve posted about him. I almost feel like I should slap myself.
Sheesh……..
These guys really aren’t worth any of the headaches we put on ourselves. I mean seriously. The constant ups and downs I went through. When things were good they were ok. When they were bad I was pissed. Like……… I’m honestly glad I’m single. Don’t have to worry about a guy doing this/not doing that etc. No headaches. Just focusing on me/myself and I and my Daughter.
I have to scroll back up and read Nee aqua help posts. I think she might’ve posted on the other aqua blog………….
It’s bed time for me. Write me back I’ll get back asap……….
Its not crap…it was the way you felt..i know exactly what you mean.
I took a lot of time thinking about it. Right now i feel stronger, more wise.. I even made an ‘experiment’ with another aqua (just online talking) for few months..and it proves the same patterns :).
They guard them sensible heart in a way you can not imagine. All has to be fun and easy going to the point where you can not have any expectations from them…incredible people they are. They test a lot..they need a woman to be very strong and bossy, same time calm and confident, independent, who respond well to the roller coaster effect. In the end its not about how they make us feel, its about us and how happy we are with ourselve.
I am focusing on me and my son too..much more than before.
You find any news about Need agua help? What is the other blog you mention?
Here’s the link: https://amansharma.wordpress.com/2008/12/14/all-about-aquarius-man-by-linda-goodman-part-2/#comment-9591
Even though NeedAquaHelp wasn’t there……this blog is much shorter too.
Why would an Aquarius guy ignore you after initiating plans with you?
We have known each other for about 2 years, and we have been romantically involved before. However, I should also say that he has a tendency to make plans and not follow through. I have expressed my frustration to him, after which he acknowledged it and has apologized. However, the same behaviour persists? Recently, we did successfully hang out, plans that HE made. Then two days in a row, he asked to hang out, and after responding with which time worked for me, just nothing. It’s strange.
I said that if he didn’t want to hang out, he should just say so. He READ this and did not respond.
If you don’t believe in astrology, please refrain from responding.
Huh? Who are you responding to? I didn’t see any posts about anyone doubting astrology?
Stacy, We all are here for same reason:)
Michelle, from alllll i read all over the internet, starting 2 years ago, i couldn’t believe and was hard for me to understand what in the sky means Be patient/take time/dont take things personal etc etc with them. I had to learn it the hard way!!
From my experience, i can tell you that his questions means something like : Hey…you are still here for me, waiting for me..wanting me..’? and there you go..with your answer.
Its a kind of validation for them! To feel in control…to feel good that you are there and he knows he can count on you anytime! Anytime! Its very important for the ‘weak’ fragile soul of aqua..
Remember this : In the back of every single question its a reason!
They are used with the girls to react the same way…they want a woman, a strong woman to stand out from the crowd! Even if they will complain a lot if things are not going them way, just dont count on his words, they will appreciate you with a hidden smile..
People are saying they Test you, I will say they aren’t! Not after 6months/1 year. He knows you already.
I had the same questions…In the beginning i thought i will lose my mind. I am a fix sign as well. My god i can write books about them Lol.
Just dont count on his words..but Only the actions! You got frustrated and he apologise…words! Show him the frustration without words! Can you? Start to back off and really back off…At this point its not necessary to answer again if he ask to see you..You gave the answer already! Just dont reply! Let him think, let him feel your silence.. Write here instead of texting him! Be strong!
And to answer your question, He is not ignoring you! He got distracted with somethings else. I know sounds weird .. but thats the truth.
Hi Scorpgirl,
Thank you for your response! Yes, you are totally right. I’m sure my responses validate the fact that I’m still interested in him.. I just don’t know why his sign is so flaky, or even just him. I continue to tolerate it. I believe not responding the next time he asks to see me will be really defiant, as I’ve never done it before. However, it will truly make a statement. That is what I want.
I now know that he was distracted, he’s dealing with some personal issues apparently.
Thanks for the advice!
hey there. beyonder glad that u stayed away from aqua. actually as I said before he gave you the closure that you really wanted. he said this wont work am sorry. so it was a clean clear break.
in my case it just kept happening off and on. every few months it would revive then die down. I finally decided enuf and told him maybe we are just meant to be friends. and I told him about the man I had started seeing. after that point on things pretty much died down between us. to be fair to him he don’t connect with me after that. I did. on and off. but I found his responses stilted and unenthusiastic. I visited Vegas for around 8 days last month. just some days before the dreaded shooting. I infact shared a couple of my vegas pics with the aqua. however he don’t respond. and just stayed silent. shrug. so that was that.
when I was bac from my Vegas holidays, he sent me greetings on a festival day. I was surprised to hear from him. I mean he had ignored me when i had sent my pics from Vegas. Anyways I was pissed and also emotional I suppose from that Vegas shooting. I told him what I thought and felt. I told him I was lucky since I was there at the same place of shooting just a few days bac. and I asked him would he have missed me or thought of me at all if i was a casualty of the vegas shooting. Guess what? he simply ignored what I had to say. I felt so stupid. and also irritated. he didn’t read my msgs for days. and after he did he simply said hello. it was like a slap in the face. I felt so stupid and thereafter angry. I mean if he don’t want to interact with me why the hell did he even send greetings my way?
this time I felt so hurt and stupid tbh. When u talk abt how u felt and thought but the other person chose to not comment, I suppose that’s his way of saying I don’t really care. i always thought I never had any kind of closure but he handed it out to me by choosing to stay silent this time too.
i have finally deleted his no from my phone. I wont reconnect ever again. and in case he does reconnect, i will just ignore. this feels like the final breakup. 🙂
All you gals, if he is showing typical aqua traits get out. I think beyonder and a couple of other gals including me gave these men too many leeways. in normal circumstance, if you message a friend and he doesn’t bother, you try again. but if he still chooses to ignore you, you ask him/her what is wrong? and can we discuss whats wrong? after which if they choose to ignore you, you let them be. problem with these people is that they never voice their issues. you have no clue ever what triggered the silences. you kind of let them in when they get in touch after long silences. thinking hey this is an aqua and that’s how they behave. but its important for us to put our foot down and not give in.
i really don’t know what’s happening. but this time i am taking his behaviour as him saying
i don’t give a shit. that’s the closure i thought i never had. i will never connect ever again.
Dee
I’m so annoyed and so baffled.
Why oh why would I have a dream about him?
I’ve been doing so well LOL
And in this dream he’s basically trying to impress another female, while ignoring me. Then he disappears?
I woke up confused and feeling compelled(almost) to reach out to him But I didn’t and I won’t……..like what a mind fu** that is.
To be over someone almost completely and then have a dream??????
I’m ready to be over him completely. But it’s hard to do that when I’m having dreams you know?
Sorry just venting……….
And Ladies
Just like I said before and Dee said it again… In the end, none of us are with our aquas(that I’m aware of) They are so confusing. And not steady for relationships…….Unless all you want is a fwb(in most cases, like mine was)
its just a dream.. i just dreamt day before that I got married to him. felt weird. but then again when you got up, u realised it was just a dream. and I shrugged it off. I had shared some pics. he ignored them. and after 3 weeks he sent him silly forward wishing me on sm festival. pretty impersonal. my mistke to get taken in. I outpoured what I felt and thot which he ignored. obviously he dsnt give a shit. that’s fine. m no longer going to bother too. I have deleted his no beynder and will not bother ever again. I don’t think he will revrt. that’s fine. m finally over him. and even if he does connect, I wont respond.
Hi Dee..how are you and Beyonder?!
Hope you girls are fine! I struggle so much myself too…omg its so annoying.
I met mine again almost a month ago(after not seeing him for months)..after that when he wanted to see me again, i ask him if he is seeing others or not.his response was vague..so i anticipated that of course he is in a kind of relation..and i refused to see him again..
I told him no way i will ever accept something like that in my life..that i respect myself and a relation to the point i can cut everything between us….and he started to hurt me..calling me nuts with frustrated ideas..being so mean that i refused him..trying to make me feel so small..:(.. i couldn’t resist and i block him ..are now 2 weeks and we dont speak. I am so frustrated will all this situation…I can not work..i can not do nothing for god sake..I only keep reading stuff about them..i feel i will go sick:(..
I have a business i should take care of it..and i can not move my ass to think clear at all 😦 . I am trying to stay strong..and keep him blocked…its so not easy! …
Hope you all can manage better the things…Send you lots of hugs!
I think the best thing to do is keep focused on your work and business. The same thing they do. Once you show them you’re too busy for them, that’s when they seem to come around. However, It’s like a game of cat and mouse which can be tiring after a while. I suggest, my dear that you cut your losses. And unless he says for sure that you’re the only Woman in his life, do not hold your breath.
There’s better and more deserving Fish out there for you. So don’t lose sleep over whether he feels a certain way about you(been there done that, not worth it)
Concentrate on your business. Love will find a way to you, especially when it’s time.
Beyonder
hey guys.. I stuck to the promise I made myself. after I deleted his contact, I got some impersonal season greetings from him again. around 20 days bac. 3 greetings on 3 consecutive days. I hadn’t blocked him. just deleted him so I recd his msgs. I din’t reciprocate. just ignored his msgs. I am not sure what my reaction would have been though had he sent me some personal msgs tbh. but he dint so that was that.
another thing. I had also seen his fcbk profile and the pics he had posted therein a month bac. so many pics alwys of him partying and drinking with a big group of ppl. and so many beautiful and glam women. written about in page 3. his life is set. work till late hours. then party till late into the nite. inbetween have flings, one night stands with the various women he meets.
@scorpio girl. the aqua never used any harsh or rude words in all the years that we interacted. I could fault him on various things but being abusive or using mean lang certainly isn’t one amngst those. I would never stick arnd if a guy says mean things or abuses me. your guy does that. so stop interacting with him. its not a qstn of him being an aqua. but of him being abusive. which is diffrnt. neither beyonders aqua nor mine ever used abusive lang.
all I can say is I have finally started thinking straight and don’t want to be sucked again in this vicious crazy circle. I have joined dating sites matrimonial sites to try and meet nice attrctv genuine men. as beyonder said unless he sits across and comes clean with you this is seriously a waste of time. dnt make concessions for him or acquiesce to his bad behaviour citing his aqua traits as an excuse. we will not accept such behaviour from men in general so why make an exception for aquas? if hes not making u a priority then neither shld u.
You are both so right..i know that.
The thing is Me who ran away from him most of the time..scared of being hurt if i involve myself more. I didnt mean to play games, i was honest but he tooks it the opposite..weird way, so from here Huge frustrations..and fights and his ego shows its teeth. I pushed him away after i felt unsure of where I am in ‘our story’, scared even to ask..but i kept pushing him in and out, trying to look cool in the same time, and the man lost his temper. I thought i understand everything…pfff i know nothing!
Yes Dee, aquas take advantage of you, if you show your feelings or emotions before they understand what they feel..and yes ignore them when they hurt you..its just so f… hard when we love them, like you said vicious crazy circle’.
I saw ‘mine’ again, i couldn’t stop myself..imagine! He even offer to help me fixing some things..thats first time i accepted his help. he surprised me and shocked me in the same time! But again, now we are back in silence..i bet he is waiting for me to approach him and me I wait for him to do it! We had no conversation about feelings or future or anything regarding ‘us’.. Its scary for them too…thats my thought.
No idea what will be, i feel stronger and i am better than a month ago, just for now i dont intend to date other people..i cant. Looks like will take longer for me to can open my heart to another person.
Lots of Hugs strong girls!
hey scorpgirl..I can now seriously say I am over my aqua. took me a long long time. I will never ever look bac or connect with him again. knowing my aqua he may or may not get in touch in future. even if he does get in touch I am 100% sure he will do so on either xmas or new years to simply wish. that’s what my aqua did when he realised I wont be getting in touch. these men have infinite patience. so they can easily wait for such occasions to get in touch. even if that takes them a month or two or three.
My mistake was in alwys falling for it every time he got in touch thinking o he misses me and has finally got in touch. that’s not the case. he may think of u occasionally but that’s about it. there can never be any relationship based on so little. just when you think things are going great and ur communicating well, boom.. all of a sudden your faced with silence. you have no clue why. u think about what all you said to him. what happened. were u at fault? or is it simply bec hes having a bad day? is something wrng. and on and on. trust me if he shows these kind of traits thn he will never change and things will never improve.
my advice is to not bother. do your stuff, meet frnds and family, work out, movies, drinking, dinners, dancing etc etc. the sooner hes out of ur head the better for you. all the best
I felt like sending him a Happy Holidays message and all was well. But when I went to go through the process of sending it, had to stop myself. I had the rush of adrenaline. Like I use to get when I’d anticipate not knowing wether or not he’d answer me. I didn’t send it. Because doing so would give him power over me. Cannot do it to myself. Haven’t spoken to him since mid August and that was bc I sent him well wishes. He and I went back n forth for half the day and tho I was under the impression that he was seeing someone. I har almost hoped for a rekindling. Not any more. Heck no. And the fact that he hasn’t tried to reach out to me definitely proves that he’s beyond moved on. I am almost there. Not completely but eventually yes. It’s like a bad habit you have to forget. Out of sight out of mind!
hey beyonder… even if he responds to ur msg, you know most likely he wld, nothing will change. you might at best fall into the same old pattern. the only way things cld rekindle is if he gets in touch with you on his own. but that’s clearly not happened yet. so I think its gud you resisted the temptation and din’t connect. no point.
I no longer feel the need to connect. and even if I do I don’t plan to give in. 🙂
Hey Dee
It’s the Holiday season and I wonder if he still thinks about me. But then I imagine he doesn’t bc if he did, he’d reach out. Probably has a new love. Not to fool myself. But to imagine remaining friends when you’ve been in a rel. w/someone for 5 years is hard. I don’t get sad when I think about him any more.
I just get annoyed at myself. For allowing it to last that long. I would Love to wish him a Happy Holidays but, last time I tried I had to stop myself. You know why……sighs
There’s no reverting back. but it’s really hard to forget about someone you had in your life for that long.
I don’t think you celebrate this time of year? But either way Happy Holidays to you and Everyone that reads this ❤
well. am sure he does think of you. but if he connects, you may misconstrue his polite frndly greetings to mean much more. it may give u hope. so he’s doing the right thing by staying away. he doesn’t see a future with you. so hes stayed away. that’s gud. will help you move along faster.
its festive season. celebrations, parties, lights, all over. so I can understand. time for families, togetherness, love… u hv to move on. try diverting your mind when you find urslf thinking of him. conscious diversion.
my aqua though hes not interested in being with me. sends greeting on festive occasions. initially that gave me hope. but then realised I am just one of the many recipients of his broadcast greetings. lol. so much for him missing me. so you see atlst ur aqua is being sensible abt this whole thing and not giving you any false hopes. which is gud. my aqua sent me greetings in sep. I told him to grow up and stop his silly games. again in October he sent me greetings on some other occasion. more likely he does it deliberately. to get a reaction. who knows? I just ignored. he hasn’t bothered after that. so I guess if I had ignored his msgs earlier too he wld have simply not bothered.
I do think of him still sometimes. but then consciously divert my mind to other things people. you have to consciously try and divert ur mind when you realise ur brooding abt him. shrug him off consciously. work at not thinking of him.
I have taken up yoga. thrice a week sessions. its hard work. but gives you a satisfied feeling at the end of the session. I have also taken up jogging/long walks every day. we cant change the past. I gues we just have to let go of all hopes totally and move ahead.
Oh my word Dee
I had a dream last night that he and I were in the same place, Just talking casually as friends. Nothing more.
What I got out of the dream was: That I no longer have those feelings for him any more and in the dream, nothing seemed awkward or uncomfortable.
I could send him a Holiday greetings and even if he answers It’s not going to get my hopes up.
The last time he and I spoke was like 4 Months ago. I’m really ok with being single now. Hopefully will get a promotion at work soon however. Some health issues have come up so, need to get my check ups asap. Before I got on my vacation in Feb!
try to incorporate regular workouts in ur daily schedule. that alwys helps. I tuk it easy for almost 6 months! decided enuf is enuf. need to start working out again. I started from dec. waking up at 5.30 am was soooooo difficult. but since I have started I have attended all my sessions early morning. :-).
dreaming of aqua? that’s happened to me so manyyy times I have lost count. earlier I would think maybe this is some kind of an indication from the universe or smthing. now I know its the subconscious mind which conjures up ur inner desires feelings in the form of dreams. so I simply ignore them. and I am always interested in the aqua in my dreams.
beyonder u actually had a closure. I never did. took me ages to realise that his coming and going from my life was not letting me have a fair shot of making it work with someone else. that in such situations you need to find your own closure in ur mind and consciously try to shut ur mind door. I always adored him. I still do. he’s different from the rest. but its one sided so that’s that.
u know I stumbled on his profile on fcbk some months bac. after that I wld check his profile whenever I was bored. fumbling with my phone. I realised by doing this I am not letting him go fully. so I stopped. now I can honestly say I am finally out of this mess.
I am trying to meet men go out on dates stuff with an open mind. haven’t really found anyone interesting. but that’s ok.
so where are you off to for your vacation?
I’m going to Florida. I haven’t been on a vacation for 14 years. It’s LONG OVER DUE! I’m going with my Aunt, Daughter and about a couple hands full of cousins and their kids 🙂
I honestly have no interest in dating. The idea doesn’t even excite me. I’m just trying to focus on Me, Nat, work and my health.
have a great holiday..i was in usa for 4 months. east coast. had an awsm time. will try to visit again next year..
I have a question? I am an aquarius woman in love with an aquarius man. We have been on and off for years and i believe we he loves me. I love him too, we just have had many issues in the past during our relationship with him lying and cheating. As well as me lying about things and cheating. We created a beautiful little human 4 years ago but it took 3 years for him to take a test because he was adament about not knowing for certain that our son was his i believe he was also afraid to face the truth. About 6 months ago we started dating again nd well i was a mess i could not let go of the past and though he was doing his part and had shown he had changed u could not let go of the past. We broke up shortly after. And tried again a few weeks in. A couple weeks ago we had bad argument because he thought i went though his things in his car he said he felt violated. I tried lying at first but came clean right away. I did say i touched something but stopped myself because i know it bothered him (i hd done it in the past 3 years ago) he was upset that i tried to lie and just decided he did not believe me and that i was lying. We got into a heated text argument where he said that behavior was a turn off. I said he turns me off often but that i didnt care because that is part of life and we will have ups n downs but i know there is mire to us so i know it will fade i also said i do not care anymore. He responded with we should go our seperate ways than said “you always trying to be sneaky anyways” which hurt me a bit because i do not try to be sneaky. Anways it has now been over one week and he has blocked my number. (I did text him a lot during the argument) i text him from another number today trying to get a hold of him and he ignored that as well. I do not want to loose him. I know i was a handful i also had accused him of cheating the day before when he failed to meet me to hang out (he said he fell asleep). We usually get back together but this time im afraid that i might have really crossed the line. Is there anyway to get him to come back around. Also it saddens me because when he is upset with me he stops looking for our son. He is 4 so he does not have his own phone or way to communicate with him on his own. What can i do?
You both sort of mirror one another. However, he def cannot stay away bc you have a son. So I suggest telling him: Regardless of what’s going on between us, grow up, put your pride away and make sure you come around for your Son. Say: i don’t care what’s going on between us but I refuse to allow you to make our beautiful son pay for our mistakes!
But he def. cannot stay away long. Maybe he needs to cool off as most aquas are known to do. But if I’m right, Family is the most important thing, besides work to him!
You’ve both shown distrust amongst one another.
You 2 need to sit down and have a serious talk about your rel. and future together. The lack of trust comes from lack of communication doesn’t it??
Hi remember me.. need aqua help!? I read someone was asking about me and aqua. Yes 7.5 years and I’m still with him. I could never live with him 24/7 but I love what we do have and the way we just work.
Hey need Aqua help, how’s everything going??? …… guys….. do I have an update. And will post soon
Need aqua help here! All is good thanks. He’s still hard work at times. Everything on his terms etc…but all in all I have become used to his ways by now. Spent his birthday with him the other day and spoilt him rotten. He’s in my blood and no matter how hard I try, I can’t let him go.
What is your news? I can’t wait to know.
I wonder about Shirley and Dee, have they given up on aquas altogether?
Hey NeedAquaHelp, yea I’m pretty sure Dee is done with her aqua. I don’t recall Shirley’s situation, I’d have to go back up and read again. As for my aqua? We’ve spoken from time to time. I wished him a Happy Birthday on the 25th. We went back n forth that day. He reached out again the other day.
Long story short, we are sort of on talking terms. Not sure where it goes from here however, I’ve made it very clear that he has to take me out. When he asked; what’s wrong with your house which he followed it up with an ‘lol’ I said: Nothing! It’s just off limits.
So he’s taking me out on Tuesday. My one day off before I got on my vaca.
What’s different about it this time is the ball is in my court! Not that I’m expecting the world from him but, we both did admit to missing one another.
I guess I can update in a week or so. But maybe I won’t get to. Either way, Don’t worry guys, I’m not at his beckon call. I’m not holding my breath, just playing it by ear. And not sweating it!
Yes that’s the only way to play it with them. You have to play hard ball or else they will push there luck no end. I have to do the same. He sends messages trying to put blame on me from time to time. My replies are…what bull! That message was just hot air. He backs down then and he’s back to being normal.
Dress yourself up to the nines, play it cool and show him what he’s been missing. End the night with a thank you it’s been nice to catch up. Then leave/walk away leaving him with something to think about. Trust me it works. Enjoy and stay strong. Let me know how it goes.
P. S did he contact you first?
Yes he absolutely did. But it was to share a joke with me. Then we continued talking throughout the day which, at times got very flirty but was all in fun!
It’s Wed morning here and, nope didn’t hear from him yesterday. At all! So as I said before: Not getting my hopes up for him.
And I think the reason he didn’t reach out was bc he knew I meant it when I said my house was off limits…….. lol
Here’s a poem I wrote shortly after we broke up June of last year:
Lost Hope
Nothing was built
so nothing was broken
And nothing needs to be salvaged……
What a dog he is!!! You don’t need that. He should have stayed away.
hey there guys.. i looked in here after a long time..
need aqua help.. wow. still together? any plans of taking the relation to the next level?
beynder.. o u guys bac in touch. hope this time things work out for u. and ur right. am done with my aqua. i think the last time the aqua got in touch was some time in the 3rd week of oct 2017. he had sent some generic greetings, thrice, on three consecutive days. no personal message. i just ignored them and didn’t respond nor greet him back. . he didn’t get in touch thereafter and neither have I.
i think i finally had enough of his hot and cold behaviour which reeked of disrespect and total disregard of my feelings. i remember that I had shared my holiday pics with him in Sep 2017. he din’t bother to reply. so that was that. after two weeks he sent me a generic greeting msg. it irritated the hell out of me. i told him when i msg u ignore. and when i don’t bother u send me these greetings. whats wrong with you? your old enough, cant you still figure out what you want? told him i am fed up of his nonsense and that its high time he grew up. he didn’t reply. . Post that he sent those greetings thrice in Oct. I ignored those generic messages. and that’s that.
I had decided that till he goes out of his way for me, behaves like a normal guy, i wont bother again. he didn’t so i stopped bothering as well. hey even the last time he tried connecting that was by way of some generic greetings and not by personal msgs.
Its not that I haven’t thought of him at all these past few months. i have. and at times I do feel like getting in touch to ask how he’s doing? to find out if i still feel the same. but i control myself.. there’s no point to it. if he felt things for me he would have got in touch and tried his best to stay in touch. but he hasn’t bothered. and that’s that.
Not sure why but my replies arent posting!?
Be cool with him, dont talk feelings with him EVER. If he talks feelings thats ok, but never when it comes from you. Think Peter Pan, thats how an Aqua man is. Act like he is just a friend. That will make him want you more. Remember when you were meant to go to his city but you were a day late. You had made a plan to see him but you never told him you were still at home on that Friday evening.He blew your phone up with messages to meet him didnt he? You turned the tables and he reacted didnt he? Thats how you ALWAYS have to be with them. If they think something is out of there control they freak and try to put it right. If you ever feel like contacting him again try being out of reach and have a take it or leave it attitude about you. They love it and it brings them to you. Talk feelings first with them and they run or ignore.
By the way Dee, he must think about you, why else would you still be on his call list? Hes sounds to be so used to the ‘no strings’ type of situation. He doesnt quite know how to deal with the real think. That doesnt mean he doesnt want it, you will have to train him thats all haha. It can be done if you really want it…and I think you do as he is still in your thoughts after all this time.
It wasnt easy for me either but I watched how he reacted to things I did, then I learnt what worked with him and what didnt. Hes quite a pushover now, although I would never tell him. If he thinks Im pushing for things from him, he backs off. If I put an idea out to him, let him think about it, NEVER TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN. It somehow becomes his idea, so I get my own way. Its great and still makes me laugh to myself. Boys in adult skin is what they are and I find it so cute I could eat him.
On a brighter note, I just found out that I got the promotion at my job! Woohoo 🎉😃🌷
hey beyonder.. congrats.. and all the best.. happy for u.
hey need aqua help.. what shall i refer to you as now? 🙂
i don’t think he gives a damn.. and doubt that’s going to change. have seen pics of him on page 3. he is enjoying his life always surrounded by so many friends and beautiful ladies. partying and drinking away. no space there for me. but strangely in most of the pics that i have seen of his social dos, i always find his younger sister in his group. think she is recently divorced.
its not like i think of him constantly. he pops into my head occasionally. i don’t think I can take any more of his hot and cold shit. it derails u and am so done with that feeling. its his bday on 14th.. but i wont msg him..
beyonder…i knew he wldnt take you out on tues. and sadly he didnt. dont u see it still? it will never happen. by staying in touch with ur aqua there is alwys a feeling of hope that something may happen. things may change. but they never do. this hope prevents you from going out with others giving them a chance. he just missed the talks and that non committal thing u guys had. thats about it. i think u shld stop all ur contact with him. there are times I think junkies fall off the band wagon. thats alrt. u can get bac on it again. u hv to let this go.
need aqua help.. i am not too sure abt ur current equation wid ur aqua. but whats happening with beyonders aqua happened a few times with me as well. in my case i never ever told him to come and meet me in my city. each time he would suggest and offer to come down. but he never did.
i think i can live with the occasional yearning for something i know i will never have . but no way in hell will i ever again step inside his crazy circle. no way. whats happening with beynder just reinforces what i have decided is the right thing.. that feeling of super excitement and that devastating feeling of being let down yet again. u cant even curse the man. since hes done this so many times. so u have only urself to blame..
I think beyond erstwhile aqua was trying to push his luck, and when she told him her house was off limits he didn’t bother. He knew he wasn’t going to get what he wanted so did a no show. Horrible thing to do.
Me and aqua have a good thing going, I don’t want to live with him though as I know he would start taking me for granted. I keep him on his toes and it works.
They are weird for sure and very stubborn but I don’t let it bother me, I just go off and do something else.
yes.. beyonder has her answer again. very clearly this time. hes only in for an occasional fling and that too at his convenience and when no expenses are involved. so cheap..
under such circumstances do you think she should even interact with men who exhibit such behaviour and show total disrespect towards women???
I think more thn aqua trait in this scenario we need to luk at and work on our self esteem. why in the hell would we even want to have such men in our lives??
fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice shame on me. i may sound harsh here but i think beyonder needs to cut off total contact with this vile man, block him and never look bac if she has any respect for self.
I think she is wising up to him. She kind of knew what he might be wanting, hence her telling him her house was off limits. I think she’s stronger now and isn’t that bothered that he did exactly what she thought he would. It could have been easy for her to tell him to call round to see her, only to be used by him all over again. But she stood her ground with him this time and said…a meal out or nothing. Good on her for that.
But I do agree she should never answer a message or phone call from him again. Her life is looking up, job promotion and holiday etc. She knows now that she can do all that without him. Good on her I say. She deserves far better than the ‘boy’ that he is.
You are right needaqua, I never entertained the idea of him coming to my house. When I asked: So when are you taking me out? He went: What’s wrong with your house? I knew to follow it up with: Nothing it’s just off limits.
See I was testing him, he said he’s only into things that are ‘chill’ meaning f buddies and with no strings.
I flirted but it never went any where.
Honestly didn’t get my hopes up for anything.
I know he cares for me, as I do for him. But as I told him: He’ll never be ready for anything serious until he’s about in his 50’s lol
Don’t worry Dee, he doesn’t haven’t me hanging by a string. Not like before and not ever again!
Only thing I told him was about my Promotion, i had mentioned it to him before.
BTW Aman? are you reading these? I think this Selena person just shared some spam?
You did great this time! You called his bluff and he showed you who he was. Apathy is all he deserves from you now. Don’t rise to any other communication from him ever again. Hold out for much better.
The only question I have is…if you knew he was a no strings kind of guy. Why did you hang onto him so long. Did you hope he would change his mind?
During out 5 year rel I did hope that my patience would pay off but I did conform. I honestly cannot see myself with a clingy Man but he’s the complete opposite.
I just felt ‘off’ a few Months before I initiated the end. Whether he felt guilty into saying he loved me or he scared himself after saying it, doesn’t matter any more. He told me clearly during out last text convo that he only looks for something CHILL. aka f buddy etc etc.
Though I am honestly not looking for a new relationship, I thought I’d just test him to prove to myself WHY I had to end it.
He’s freaking immature. And being a Gemini we tend to conform. almost becoming chameleons if that makes sense.
Sort of adapting?
And when I say that he’s immature I mean, he refers to spending time together as ‘hanging out’ and doesn’t pick up a gdang phone!
I’ve lost any/all interest in any communications. I wish him well but I won’t say it to him.
Wednesday cannot come any sooner….VACA…….
And in regards to hanging on, we were in Lust.
Because we had instant/constant chemistry from the second we met.
I’ve read how you shouldn’t stay just bc you get butterflies…. of course…….
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beyndr… now that things are clearly established with ur aqua. u know for sure that not only is this a dead end but there is nothing at all here, not even vanilla friendship, why do u want to even bother with this man? why entertain him at all? y flirt with him? cant you find some other man for that?? as need aqua help said u now have things going for u. just keep moving ahead. do not look bac. u deserve so much more. not this shit of a guy.
it took me a while to get over the aqua. no not just that. but to finally realize and come to terms with the fact that we will never ever get together and that it is a lost cause. if i can walk away and so many others here, so can you.
don’t rethink beynder. nothing to test. he failed and kept failing for 5 years.. how many more tests till u finally accept and admit that this was always a lost cause??
i was probably at the deep end there too but have now returned to the shore. took some time convincing self that having any kind of hope or expectation is stupidity. one sided feelings and need to commit by just one, cannot work for a relationship. cut him out totally. its a dead end..
Don’t worry Dee, I took the next best step…………….. I deleted him from my contacts. That way if I ever feel compelled to reach out I can’t. And no I didn’t remember his Number. Now if he reaches out to me? I won’t know who he is until I ask!
btw, he had been reaching out to me. I only reached out once to wish him a Happy bday
that’s the way to go.. what you said happened so many times with me. i lost count. no contact. and then sm stupid frwrd and i would start talking again. he wld flirt and always show hes interested. atlst ur guy told u he just wants to chill. and not interested in a proper relation. mine never did! always made me think and feel i am different thn the other women hes met. what the heck.. he wld actually tell me so. and i kept believing. ofcrse after a while u realise its only words and that is all. no action at all. he went so far as to tell me he thinks of me as his soul mate!! and i said really? do u believe in all that??
it was hard but i have managed to push him at the back of my mind. at times i do feel like reaching out. i then turn to shirl. whos finally totally over her aqua. and she alwys tells me to stay tough and not give in. i haven’t. and i wont.
but what u need to remember is that these people are like bad drugs. there cld be times when we fall off bandwagon and go in for a peg. but that’s ok. ensure u get back right on track. may kind of sound silly. but it works. 🙂
Why don’t you block him? At least then he won’t be able to send you anything. I’m sure that when you hear from him out of the blue, feelings must come flooding back for you. If he can’t contact you it might help you forget.
that’s the whole thing. its not about him. its about me and my weakness. tbh he has never hounded me with messages or forwards. if i keep getting sucked in over random frwrds then the problem lies with me. he has only sent forwards on festivals or special occasions. n that’s how the convo would begin. i used to earlier block him out. but then thought that’s so silly. i mean ideally i shld be able to control my mind and not him. i guess more to do with accepting the fact that u like someone a lot but that its one sided.
Hey guys, been a minute.
No haven’t heard from him, nor have I reached out.
that’s ok tho, I met a Scorpio guy a few weeks ago. Will see where that goes…………..however. He’s talking such lovey dovey nonsense to me and we haven’t even gone out…..sheesh.
Talking about he loves me, saying: Te quiero mucho mi amor…… I know I had good vibes from him from the moment he started speaking to me. Meaning: I felt he was being genuine. Said he was divorced 4 years ago and has one Daughter who’s 18, He’s 42 and I’m 38………. What I appreciate is he doesn’t mention getting physical yet so that’s good in my eyes!
Ha I know this isn’t about Scorpios but……..
Maybe update soon, Take care all ❤
That went no where fast. This guy was soooo aggressive. Said he loved me/was in love with me way too fast…. sheesh. Tried to ‘get it’ too fast. I blocked before deleting him.
Boy how things can change in just the span of 2 weeks…… Life keeps tossing curve balls at me I’ll just say that. One’s a Leo the other is Scorpio o.O Mr. Leo gives me butterflies and Mr. Scorpio…… Not sure still
Welcome back Need aqua help/tiarasandcombs15!
Wow 7 years means a lot. From what I read from the beginning of your story, you knew how to deal with him and kept yourself strong.
That’s the mistake most of us are doing in relation with an aqua.. we learn it the hard way.
Are you still with your aqua? Yours sounds a bit nasty and the thought of him being around your child is worrying!
My aqua is annoying in as much that he still plays games, trying to get a reaction out of me. But never loses his temper like yours does. I would forget him and move on if he had ever been like that. Your child doesn’t need stress like that and needs to know what a loving relationship is like for when they are adult.
o hey there beyonder. glad to see that you have moved on. i guess we all have finally. i have started meeting and going out on dates. no one special thou i did have a couple of flings which led to nowhere. much needed i have to say.
Btw i made my peace with the aqua. we casually chatted over 4 months bac and got bac on speaking terms. though we don’t chat everyday. once in a blue moon kind of thing. i was in his city few months bac and we agreed to meet up causally over dinner. but then i got cold feet and so i chickened out.
he does say that i never really gave him a chance bec i alwys had mental prejudices against him. he being a playboy and perhaps carried a bad boy image. :-). tbh i cant if u ask me today give u an answer as to why we never happened. Probably issues from both sides. and he’s still single. He started following me on IG and so i started following him as well.
i have some work in his town in the coming days so will visit his city again this week mostly. in the event i stay over will ping him and see if he’s available and free to meet. but that again depends on my mood and whether he’s in town.
I am also seeing couple of men out of which one wants a steady kind of affair. and the other more like FWB. i hv lukewarm feelings towards both.
OH MY GOD!!!!!
Dee what are we gonna do??????
Ok, so UPDATE::::
Remember back in Jan/Feb when I mentioned how I’d been speaking with my aqua ex again? And we had entertained the idea of seeing one another again? Then poof gone he went again? Here I thought he was being his typical self.
Fast forward, a few weeks ago I had reached out to say hi and see how everything was. Didn’t get hopes up to hear back from him at all so I had forgotten about it.
Until yesterday, he got back to me. Fast forward in the conversation when he goes: So when are we going to ‘hangout’ 🙂 We never got to lol
I go: Who’s fault was that 🙂
He:not mine
Me: Uhuh
Me: Mr. I take years to respond
He: No but really it wasn’t. The reason why we didn’t was because in the beginning of feb i got into a car accident while working.
So basically his neck, back and shoulder were injured. He mentioned receiving workers comp and I wished him well.
He’s seeing a chiropractor for his back bc physical therapy was doing nothing for him.
And here I thought he was being his typical self!
Either way, I’m in a rel. with Mr. Scorpio. But Mr. Scorpio has some splainin to do!
beyndr we have to do nothing.. i am finally over the aqua and hold no more hidden desire to get bac with him. it will be alwys like this with them. occasional hellos and how are yous..:) .. there is nothing u or i can do but accept that fact. i am now talking to few guys. getting to know this guy who lives in the same city as the aqua. :-). btw when i had gone to the aqua’s city few weeks bac , i dint end up meeting aqua. reached his city post 7 pm. already had dinner plans with this new guy that i have being seeing and getting to know. we hung around together and i was finally free post 1 am. i had told aqua that i hv dinner plans and may not be able to meet that day. and the next day he was travelling out of the country. anywys i did msg the aqua telling him i got free post 1 am only. i heard from him the next day. so that was that.
as of now i am just dating again and getting to know few guys.. i guess i will get into a relationship with the one i am most compatible with. but yeah i have given up all hopes of getting together with the aqua for sure and moved on.
Hey Dee, So yesterday June 20th was my birthday. And guess who treated me to lunch?!?!?! Not the Scorpio guy I’ve been seeing for the past few months but My Aqua ex. He took me to eat, just the 2 of us. It wasn’t awkward. There was no tension. It was as if we were just friends. Something h never did during our 5 years together. He did for my bday. Isn’t it crazy how things happen so unexpectedly?!?
that’s probably bec he now knows that you have moved on? and things are at just on a frndly note?
He doesn’t know about Mr Scorpio and he may never. It looks like Mr. Scorpio Might be using me.
How do you claim to love someone but ask them to marry a relative so that they can become legal?
I told him NO! The only reason I’d marry a Man is LOVE! NOT papers! Now Mr. Scorpio himself is legal. He’s lived here 24 years and has a SSN. But his nephew does not. I’m sorry his Nephew might have to go back to DR but that’s not my problem…….sheesh -.-
o btw belated happy bday…don’t gv it too much thought thou.. u don’t want to walk down that road to nothing again..
Thanks Dee, still a little shocked that he treated me to lunch!
u meet all sorts… if hes asked u to marry his relative to become a citizen then ofcrse he doesn’t really see u as part of his future nor as someone he wants a relationship with. Actually if you go to think abt things, it was just a freaking lunch u know? no biggie. the guy I dated a few times in the past weeks, tuk me out to dinner so many times and didn’t let me pay. but after few dates, I felt we were very difrnt but just had great sexual chemistry. so decided to go slow.
I keep meeting new people and putting the effort to put myslf out there. have a date this evening.
about the aqua I stopped following him on IG and I really don’t care what hes up to anymore. I guess u accept after a point that this was just a hopeless dream and not real. I don’t see myself getting interested in him ever again and hes a permanently shut door as far as my heart is concerned. m soooo done..
It was my aqua ex who treated me to Lunch for my b.day. The Scorpio guy is the one who asked me about marriage w/his relative
yes I got that the first time round. that’s what am saying beyonder. few lunches or dinners are no big deal. its just a one off anywys…
So my Aqua ex and I have been talking again. And that’s only bc the Scorpio guy I gave a chance to began ignoring/avoiding me like the plague. I honestly wanted nothing to do with Mr. Scorpio at first but, bc my aqua ex was out of the picture, I decided to give Mr. Scorpio a chance. Fast forward 5 Months later…… haven’t seen him in almost 3 weeks. I have to explain the entire situation about how his Nephew reached out to me, and how I asked him why Mr Scorpio was avoiding me…….. sighs. This is my first relationship w/a Scorpio and I find it strange that toward the last month my feelings for him have grown stronger but his seem to have taken a step back. When he came on so strong at first!
So now let me explain about Mr. Scorpios Nephew. His Nephew has been staying with him a few Months now and in the-past few weeks mr Scorpio had to get a new phone. And a couple days after, his nephew supposedly finds his old cell, sees me as a contact and messages me from His own phone. Because we’d met before. And bc it has been a few days since I’d seen mr Scorpio and felt like he was ignoring me I assumed he sent his nephew to message me. His nephew said he didn’t and I told him everything about how his Uncle has been treating me, I even asked why his uncle was starting
To avoid me? etc etc. So the next day I told
His nephew that I was gonna go back to my ex since mr Scorpio was avoiding me like the plague(mind you, I said this bc I assumed mr Scorpio would contact me after hearing this) so now he’s using this to say: why if you’re with me are you talking to him? (How are we together if we haven’t really spoken or seen one another recently ?)For that just go back to him he said. Now something has felt off about mr Scorpio for a while now and I believe HE HAS SOMEONE ELSE. And instead of saying so he’s trying to flip it on me?! Sighs I was doing fine when I was single!
Well now I know why he was distancing himself. 😞😔😢 He is ill. Very ill. So I’ll he began chemo-therapy…. 😞
beyonder ….long time. 🙂 what mess are you getting urself in? u don’t need ur ex aqua, ur new scorpio and neither his nephew.
I think you don’t need a man to complete ur existence. walk away from losing situations. and non starter affairs, relationships. how does it matter if there is no steady guy? focus on self and your work.
I think you should meet and date only quality men. your losing your way beyonder. step back please. u don’t need losers. go and stay where your wanted loved and respected. its that simple.
I am not in touch with my aqua anymore. I blocked him everywhere. one fine day I thought the past needs to be cut out. and so I did. if I run into aqua I wl be friendly polite and sweet. but I don’t want to meet him nor do I want to know what hes doing in his life.
I met someone dated him for a bit but then realised our thinking doesn’t match at all. so I stepped out. I am talking to a couple of guys. wl date only a quality guy. m happy being alone. but not keen on losers.
take care and please rethink.
Hey Dee n E1
Happy New Year! Hope all is well
Hi Dee, how are you? How’s everyone? Has your Aqua tried to communicate? Well, I was with a Capricorn and got him to admit to cheating. Even though I told him that I had a feeling he did….. We were together almost 4 years. Now, my aqua ex. It’s been 5 years since we’ve been together however, he never cheated. And we went to the movies recently & started talking again. This time around he is definitely more mature. Has opened up to me about having gone through depression, weight gain and an accident at his job that started the downward spiral for him. He’s telling me things/doing things that he never did when we were together. My Birthday was on June 20th and I was super surprised that I had a special Birthday surprise delivered to my house. It made me feel special. ………..he and I are talking again but I have no plans on getting intimate with him. At least not for a very long time. We’re both working on ourselves and are enjoying ‘talking’ again. I still talk with the Cap guy but he’s currently on vacation. (Last year while on vacation was when Mr. Cap cheated)……….. Anyway, just wanted to update & see if you are doing ok. I have a new career path as a 1:1 Paraprofessional for special needs Children. So that’s a plus for me and my Daughter is turning 18 this year……😱🤯 / Be well
How are you girls? Hope all is ok!
What about the aqua you love? Any good news?
Mine comes back after months of not talking to each other..
Long gone. No communication. I’m completely over him. Am in a steady relationship with a cap who actually shows interest by communicating via old school phone calls…. can you believe it?! Hope everything is ok for you all. Happy New Year. Can you believe its 2020? 😱
I just posted an update after being split for 5 years. ^^^ What about you? Any updates?
Hi All,
This is Aman. Firstly, thanks to all who made this post such a community and I can’t tell you how glad I am always when I see interactions happening here. Thank you all.
Reason for me to post this comment is to wish you all, who has commented here, my best wishes for these hard times that we all are in around the world. Please be safe and stay inside. All of us globally are struggling to stay sane, stay positive and we are all waiting for this dark phase of humanity to pass. All we can do is to have hope. Remember that we are all in this sh**t together. Some of us may have faced or have experienced around them much more severe dire consequences of this pandemic. But it’s not about numbers being less or more. It’s people, it’s lives we are talking about and even one life lost is such a severe loss, so important and just so unfortunate. I know we are all waiting for some miracle, some good news to come. Right now,it’s as equivalent to win a million dollar lottery by the entire mankind. But hey, we can all hope and pray that someone , somewhere , some day is going to bring good news. Not just for us but for the entire mankind. Till then, we need to remain strong, remain positive and keep our loved ones safe. I know I am doing it and I know all of you are too. Let’s just keep on doing our own bit and hopefully, it will add up for a greater good for all of us.
Stay safe everyone. Be at home. If you feel bored, please feel free to post here. I didn’t reply to the comments in the past . I didn’t need to cos you all beautiful people were already doing such a great job in keeping the conversations alive. But if I shall see I can add my 2 cents somewhere, I shall do so. Let’s try to live these hard moments with as much positivity as possible, for us, our family and friends and for the entire mankind.
Praying for each and everyone of you.
Aman….
Hi Aman, I wish you many blessings as well. During these crazy times. Wishing you and everyone lots to of health and blessings for their desires. Take care xx
Hi Beyonder33,
Thanks for the message and my apologies for the late reply. Work from home (or the lack of it) is just crazy in addition to everything else that’s going on. Please take care of yours and as I mentioned before too, stay strong, stay positive and any time, any one feels having negativity surrounding them, mention it here.